The offensively loud ringing of the school bell woke you up from your slumber. Dear lord, was it the end of physics already? You sat upright and saw the heart-wrenchingly attractive boy to your left also waking up and rubbing his eyes. His name was Jaebum and he also liked to nap in physics fifth period on a Thursday- you knew that much. You also knew he was cool and sporty and not your type of person at all. He had an intimidating stare and a bad temper, but even so, if you didn't have such a gigantic crush on him you're sure you would've tried to make conversation. 

This scary reputation seemed imaginary when Jaebum was like this though- disoriented and sleepy. His eyes were wide and constantly blinking, almost puppy-like... A small smile found its way to your lips, but before Jaebum could catch you staring, Bambam (your annoying, cocky, hilarious and definitely gay best friend) hit you on the shoulder. 

"If you're not going to talk to him, you can not sit there ogling like some kind of ing goldfish!" He explained while walking you to your locker. 

"Oh please! As if you're any different when any other member of the football slash basketball slash lacrosse team is near you." 

In response, Bambam just rolled his eyes and huffed. He knows he can't say anything, because you're right. Recently he'd gone especially heart-eyed over a dancer, but he never really had a "type".

Even if you were particularly... goldfish-like around Jaebum, it did mean you had something to look forward to during your physics lessons. Sometimes, on days where you'd had enough coffee to prevent you dosing off, you doodled him (you knew it was creepy, but hey, you are a hormonal teenage girl, what else are you meant to do?)- his sharp feline eyes with two perfect moles being the perfect distraction from note-taking. Of course these drawings always got crumpled up and carelessly tossed in the bin, another lesson wasted on him. There were other days where you woke up face-to-face with him, the cramped school desks meaning you were a lot closer to him than expected, and you scraped your chair back hastily (most likely hitting Bambam and making him topple over due to his skinniness) and collected your stuff and almost ran out of the classroom. 

After school as Bambam and you walked to the train station, you managed to catch up with Jaebum and his friend group. You and Bam often watched them from afar, narrating in voices akin to David Attenborough: 

"And here, we can see the apes once again talking about nothing except for the tryouts for next season, and what they're going to do once lacrosse season ends." 

You couldn't help but snicker at Bambam, because in all honesty, that is all they seemed to talk about. 

Their group consisted of six boys, almost all participating in some sport or another. Jaebum, Jackson, Jinyoung, Youngjae, Yugyeom and Mark. Jaebum played football and lacrosse, Jackson played basketball and football, Mark played lacrosse and basketball (although you wouldn't think it given his small and skinny frame), Jinyoung played football and Yugyeom was the aforementioned dancer that had Bambam in a daze. Youngjae didn't do sport, but he was still friends with them and seemed to enjoy hanging around the rest. Youngjae and Jackson were being particularly loud- Jackson playing out some kind of anecdote and Youngjae was belting out laughter in response. Of course, you didn't really know these guys, but you could gather vague bits of information about them from seeing them around school and in various classes. 

You crossed the street as you continued your narration:

"The group of Beautiful Boys carries on, almost as if they think making as much noise as humanly possible will attract a mate." You said, but then your eyes turned toward Jaebum and you stopped. God, he was beautiful- his ink-black hair running between his calloused fingers, pointed eyes narrowed to crescents as he laughed at whatever nonsense Jackson was spewing. He must've just been practicing something, because his knees were muddy and he was still in some uniform- football maybe? 

"Wow," Bambam breathed.

"I know..." 

Bambam followed your line of vision and sighed irritably.

"Not him you imbecile, Yugyeom- look at how tall he is... I've heard he's got abs made of-"

You cut him off with a hand around his mouth, given that they were only across the street and not deaf.

 

The next Thursday, you had drunk 3 lattes by the time your physics lecture rolled around, so you didn't think you were going to manage a nap. For the first half, both you and Jaebum were awake, and you caught glimpses of the inside of Jaebum's physics binder- doodles covered the inside. Dodecahedronal "S"s and skulls littered the once white interior, with harsh graffiti-like words. You had to admit, it fit his personality, but it was far too brash.

He finally fell asleep 10 minutes into the lesson, after your teacher started going into depth about the generator effect. 

You don't know where you got the certain burst of courage from, but you decided to spruce his doodles up a bit. You grabbed a pastel pink gel pen from your pencil case and ignored Bambam when he started aggressively whispering to get your attention. You leaned over to Jaebum's empty page meant for notes, and doodled a flower. You tried to make it as pretty as possible, half resembling a cherry blossom. You pulled back immediately after you'd finished drawing, scared that he'd wake up and show off some of that awful temper. Thankfully, though, he didn't, and after you assured yourself that he was asleep, you reached for a lilac. 

Just as you were finishing the shading from the centre of the flower, Jaebum shifted upright and you jumped back to your own desk. Once he registered the new doodles on his page, he turned to you and smiled, but you already had your head down, face burning with embarrassment. Why did you do that? Why did you have to up the whole longingly-stare-at-Jaebum-because-he'll-never-be-friends-with-you thing? 

You didn't look at him for the rest of class, acutely aware of his broad shoulders sitting upright and not slumped on his desk as per usual. Through your periphery you could see him writing, though. That was a first. You were unable to concentrate, wallowing in your own self hatred as you drew random shapes into your notes, putting too much pressure on the pencil. 

As your teacher's droning on came to a close, you snuck a look at Jaebum because damn, that boy was magnetic and you couldn't tear your eyes away from him for 20 minutes. What you hadn't expected was to see a whole meadow of flowers on his page, in blue and red (you guessed he didn't have the arsenal of pastel colours you did), some mimicking the cherry blossoms you'd drawn as well as daisies, and what you saw were meant to be roses. 

You found this downright adorable- the entire page was free of notes yet full of flowers, meaning what you'd seen him "writing" the entire lessons was him adding to your illustrated garden. Adorable. He caught your eye once you'd looked up from the page and rushed to cover it with his elbow, pale face starting to redden slightly. You tried to say something- an apology, or "it's alright!", but before you could it was the end of the period and Bambam was dragging you out of the lesson and out of school as a whole. You guessed he was planning on skipping maths, and honestly, you weren't about to stop him- you don't think you could make it through that lesson without your usual physics nap. 

"Okay honey, you've been given a chance from God to finally get some . Try to play it cool! You already have the whole, quirky-girl-going-for-the-cool-hot-guy trope going for you."

"Honey?! And stop saying I'm gonna get ! Not all of us think solely about getting dicked down 24/7" you said slightly too loudly than appropriate for public. 

"All I'm saying is, be careful! I know how much this boy means to you, and I hope it works out." 

You "aww"ed and pinched one of your friend's cheeks, much to his annoyance. 

 

After MUCH discussion with Bambam, you decided to slide into Jaebum's dms. Hands slightly shaking, you searched "defjeffb" into Instagram. You didn't even think he used it very much, so you weren't sure this plan was going to work. 

"Hi, I'm really sorry for like, invading your privacy today and doodling on your notes- no hard feelings? Xx" you drafted. You knew it was a bit extreme, given you'd just doodled on his clean sheet of paper, but you thought he was so attractive that it was worth walking on eggshells. The "Xx" was a tad much, given you never added them in your normal texts.

Within 10 minutes he answered, saying: 

"Hey x no hard feelings whatsoever, the flowers were cute aha x" 

"Ugh," you thought. "What a boy response"

Despite this, you still found yourself smiling down at your phone like an idiot. 

You'd thought it a boy response because it was boring and didn't have anywhere for the conversation to carry on- meaning you'd have to reach. Dear god you could just hope he wasn't boring as a person. 

"I mean, anything's better than Dr Ju's lectures right" you offered, hoping for some kind of relatable conversation about your boring physics professor. 

Your conversation carried on for a bit longer, with Jaebum telling you the reason he needed his nap was that he had lacrosse training at lunch and football in his last period every Thursday (which sounded like hell to you and you weren't sure why anyone would put themselves through that).

 

"Good lacrosse training?" You ventured when Jaebum practically threw all his stuff down on his desk the next lecture. He plonked down in his seat, head lolling backwards as he sighed deeply. His hair was a mess (but somehow still looked incredibly good), he had dried mud all over his knees and he practically smelled like a garden. You didn't even think lacrosse was that messy of a sport. 

"Yeah," he breathed. "I just slipped a few times." 

You laughed lightly at that, and he rolled his head in your direction to flash you a cute smile and a wink.

 

"Can I borrow one of your pens?" Jaebum leaned over and murmured, interrupting your space-themed drawings as your professor talked about the life of stars. You nodded and placed your pencil case between the two of you, giving him access to your rainbow of gel pens. He grinned at you and your heart sped up, a lurching feeling in your chest meaning you had to remind yourself to breathe.

 

"Mark Tuan's throwing a party on Saturday, and you're coming with me." Bambam said with finality after school that day, making you roll your eyes.

"Do I have to? I'm all for getting faced with you, but with the quote unquote jocks?" 

"Oh come on, you know you want to! This is your chance to finally get with Jaebum, and I'm not going to let you out of this one, and that's that." He then had to take a minute to catch his breath- saying that all in one go while walking had taken it out of him. There's a reason he's not one of those aforementioned jocks. 

You sighed and fought extremely hard to suppress a smile as you agreed. 

"Fine, but you're coming round to mine to get ready, I don't want to lug my makeup around to your house again." 

Bambam beamed and you were already starting to worry about what to wear. 

 

"I don't see why you feel the need to put so much makeup on," Bambam said from where he was stationed next to you in the mirror, applying concealer. You stopped blending your eyeshadow to look at him swiping his Yves Saint Laurent touche éclat under his eyes. 

"I want to look hot!" You defended, and you had to admit, in your opinion your smoked out eyeshadow was doing wonders for your face. 

Once you'd finished your makeup, you enlisted Bambam's help in shimmying your half-mesh halter neck crop top over your head without covering it in foundation. You pulled on your bodycon skirt, fixed your hair, spritzed some perfume, and you were done. 

Bambam was, believe it or not, more difficult. 

"But surely these shoes go better with that top?" 

"Then wear that combination."

"But what about the jeans?" 

You groaned and flopped back on your bed. 

 

When you two finally made it to the party, you found it already well underway. The host of the party was playing beer pong in the garden, cheered on by Youngjae as he honed his focus (whatever was left of it anyways) on the cheap ping pong ball and solo cups. Jackson was inside, doing tequila body shots off a giggling girl you think is in your maths class, with Jinyoung watching him with an almost jealous eye. You spotted the drinks selection right next to him, along with a variety of mixers. The tall bottle with frosted glass caught your attention in particular, and you were suddenly a girl on a mission. 

You were sure Bambam had been following you, but by the time you'd mixed your (undeniably too strong) drink and turned around, he was gone. 

"Hey," a voice said from behind you, making you jump. You spun around only to see it was Jaebum, looking hotter than hell itself, with his hair messily pushed back, wearing extremely ripped jeans and a simple, black, oversized jumper. Black hoops adorned his ears, and you were glad it was dark so Jaebum couldn't see the redness that was surely appearing on your cheeks. 

"Hi! I-" 

You were cut off by Jackson calling out, "Chic and y Jaebum! Have a shot off Momo here!", clearly drunk beyond belief. 

You were worried for a second that he would leave you alone, but he waved Jackson off with a chuckle. 

"Sorry about him- he's loud enough sober, but give him tequila..." 

"It's fine! So, how come you're not drunk like your friends?" You asked after laughing a little at Jackson, who got a bit too into the salt only to be punched in the arm by Jinyoung. 

"I dunno, I don't really feel like it. He has these parties kind of often so... Wait, I don't think I've seen you at any?" 

You had to admit, if it weren't for you actually kind of talking to Jaebum now, you would've missed out on this one too. 

"Yeah, I mean I don't really know anyone that comes to them, despite how many times Bambam has tried to force me to come" 

"What makes this time different?" Jaebum quirked his head to the side, but before you could stumble over an answer, a pretty tipsy Mark appeared at his side. 

"Ayyy, it's our boy JB!! Who's your friend?" He slurred, and you sniggered at the nickname he'd given Jaebum, who was looking slightly irritated by the way Mark slung himself over his shoulder.

"Mark, this is ____." 

"I don't see you around much- doesn't matter though, you're here now!" His voice raised into a shout, but before he could say anything more, he was being jumped on by Jackson, making them both burst out into drunken giggles. 

Jaebum rolled his eyes, but wore a smile on his face. 

"Who did you say you came with?" Jaebum asked once the pair had calmed down and left to find girls to hook up with. 

"Bambam Bhuwakul? I don't know where he-" you stopped yourself when you saw where he was, straddling Yugyeom on a couch and making out with him. 

"Found him," you pointed out to Jaebum, nodding in his direction. 

"He should be careful, Yugyeom can kind of be a heartbreaker sometimes." 

 

"I'm fine!!" You attempted to say without the slur in your words, to no avail. 

"No, no you're not" Jaebum laughed as he held you up to prevent you from crashing into more furniture. "I told you not to play that drinking game-" 

"But I rocked! I was ing ace bro!" 

This made Jaebum laugh even more, the sight so cute you sighed. 

"What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" 

"Nothing, I'm fine, you're just-" You stopped yourself. You were drunk, but not that drunk. "You look nice when you laugh." 

Jaebum opened his mouth as if to say something, but instead let a smile grace his features. He led you to a bench in the garden for some "fresh air", because your head was spinning and you felt loose and giggly. 

You talked to Jaebum for a while, asking about his family, favourite colour, music taste, everything that your fuzzy brain could conjure up. 

"And that's why I used to have a fear of priests," Jaebum finishes the anecdote, tears in your eyes from laughing. You didn't think you could fall further in love with Jaebum, but with every crinkle of his eyes and tooth-showing smile you felt more and more whipped. 

It was just then you heard your name being called. 

"______? Where are you?" 

It was Bambam, and he didn't sound happy. 

When he caught sight of you, he strode towards you, and you could see that his eyes were glassy, he was sniffing and his eyeliner was smudged. 

"Bambam? What's-" 

"Let's go, _____." His voice wavered as he grabbed you by the wrist.

You turned to mouth "sorry!" to Jaebum before letting Bambam drag you out of the garden, out of the house, and out of the party. 

 

 

 

"Bambam! Slow down! Tell me what happened!" You plead, the shoes you wore not allowing for this speed of walking. 

"C-can we j-just get a- cab please" Bambam sniffed and used his free hand to wipe at his face aggressively. 

"Yeah, sure, we can get an uber and you can sleep at mine, okay? But when we get there can you please tell me what happened?" 

Bambam didn't say anything else but nodded slowly. 

 

"So we talked for a bit, and he seemed really sweet, right, and- and then we started dancing and good god his hips don't lie," 

He said as you carefully removed the dark smudges from his face with a makeup wipe. 

"And one thing led to another, and we were making out on the couch, and he was grabbing my through my jeans and I was like, okay, he wants me, but I'm not about to do anything with all these people around, so we find a room, and I..." 

You'd never really seen Bambam be shy before, so you were slightly surprised at the pink that faintly appeared on his cheeks. 

"You what?" 

"I him off, okay! I him off, and when I got up to kiss him- after swallowing should I add- he refused and pulled away and I asked what was wrong," his voice cracked and he cleared his throat nervously. 

"He- he said 'listen, dude, I'm sorry and all but I'm not gay, I can't do this' and so I asked what he meant and he said he... he was just looking to get his and nothing more." 

By this time he had tears in his eyes again. Bambam had been going on about Yugyeom for months now, and it devastated you to see him like this. You told him you were sorry and let him sob into your shoulder. 

"I don't want to see or talk to any of those ing jocks ever again." 

This made your heart sink. You knew this was bad, but you could only hope he was being dramatic- if he weren't you knew you couldn't just turn around and pursue Jaebum. 

Just then your phone vibrated. It was a message from Jaebum himself, that read:

"Hey, how's your friend? It was gyeom's fault wasn't it?" 

"Who is it?" Bambam asked, looking up at you through eyelashes clumped together by tears. 

You shook your head and locked your phone, "No one." 

 

Despite what Bambam said, you made sure to tell Jaebum that Bambam would be alright, but you did tell him that Yugyeom kind of ed him over. You were mad at Yugyeom for what he did, how could you not be? 

You really wanted to believe Jaebum wasn't like that, but you couldn't help it. You decided that it would be best just to let go of the pipe dream that was you and Jaebum. Honestly, did you ever really think he'd go for you anyways? Letting him go would be easier than facing him rejecting you. It's logical. 

 

That week, you tried to avoid Jaebum and his friends as much as possible. You thanked god that you didn't see him much in school anyways, but when you did, you avoided eye contact or quickly looked away from him (as hard as it may have been). On Thursday, during your physics period with him, you put your head down and went to sleep immediately (or pretended to, you didn't think you could actually sleep when you knew he was looking at you). You knew you were being unreasonable and selfish, trying to pass it off as standing with your friend, but you'd rather protect yourself than have Jaebum hurt you like Yugyeom hurt Bambam. 

What you hadn't prepared for was Jaebum plopping his lunch tray down opposite yours on Friday. 

"Hey, tell me if I'm completely wrong or whatever... but have you been ignoring me?" He asks when you don't look up at him. 

"I'll leave you two to it," Bambam says, and gets up to go sit with Sungjin from your history class. 

You sighed. You hated confrontation, and you could feel your face heating up as you struggled to reply. 

"I... kinda? I'm sorry, I just-" 

"Hey, hey it's... Can I ask why? Was it something I said at the party, or-" 

You finally looked up from your food to see slight hurt and frustration in his eyes. 

"No no! It's just, what happened with Bambam, I felt like I should stand by him," you paused as you considered carrying on. "And I'm not gonna lie, if you'd do something like that as well I'm not sure I can deal with that...”

"We're not-" you heard a bit of anger rise up in his voice before he took a deep breath and shut his eyes, sighing as your eyes were drawn to the perfect Cupid's bow of his lips.

"We're not all like that, okay? I promise- it's just Yugyeom and Mark, and maybe Jackson a little bit- but apart from that we're good guys,"  

You chuckled slightly and nodded. 

"Okay, okay, I get your point."

"Please can we go back to how we were before? No more ignoring?" 

You took a moment to pretend to think about it.

"Fine, one chance" you winked and his eyes narrowed to crescents as he smiled. 

 

"So, you're going on a date with him?" 

"It's coffee. Just coffee-"

"Are you telling yourself that or me?" Bambam raises his eyebrow accusingly. 

"Honestly? Myself" you sigh- Bambam knows you incredibly well, and it irritates you. How dare he know you to the extent you can't lie to him? 

"Just let yourself go on the date! I know I was mad at Yugyeom but don't let that taint your opinion on every guy,"

Bambam was sprawled on your bed, one of his praying-mantis-long legs dangling off the side as you sat on your floor. 

"When is it again?" Bambam was also holding his phone above his face, mindlessly scrolling, and you didn't know why he didn't change position- he'd already dropped it on his face four times. 

"Tomorrow- oh god, do I need to overthink what to wear to this, too?" You groaned. 

"Just keep it cute and casual. Oversized tee tucked into high waisted skinny jeans and sneakers or boots- simple" he replied without second thought. You always envied Bambam's sense of style- you constantly looked underdressed next to him. You honestly had no idea how he didn't have a boyfriend- Yugyeom must be a real to have ed him over. 

 

 

You looked at your phone, confirming where Jaebum said he was. You looked into the window of the (incredibly tumblr-esque) cafe and saw him staring down at his phone, looking too handsome to exist. You stopped and took him in for a second, before pushing open the door of the cafe, watching as his head snapped up and his face broke into a smile at recognition. You couldn’t help but smile back and made your way over to his table. He stood up to hug you, and you were enveloped in the comfort of his hoodie and his cologne. You could’ve stayed like that forever, but you pulled away with all the self control you had. 

You two slipped easily into casual conversation, feeling your heart speed up every time he grinned at you. His hair was effortlessly pushed back, and while his style was casual and not unlike what he wore to school, it looked so good on him you couldn’t resist being floored by it. 

When all traces of the coffee Jaebum kindly bought you were gone, you two started wandering around the area. 

“If I remember correctly there’s a park just down here...” Jaebum says, leading you down a small path with trees looming either side. You tried to resist staring at his lips with their perfectly sharp Cupid’s bow, but, given they were more at eye-level than his eyes, it was tough. 

When you reached the clearing into the small park, you looked up to see Jaebum’s hair littered with small flowers from the trees. You couldn’t help let out a little laugh- he looked like some kind of adorable nymph. 

“What?” 

“You- wait, just let me take a picture. Smile!” You said as you grabbed your phone and snapped a picture of Jaebum, peace signs held up, smiling brightly with his hair full of pastel pink flowers. 

“I think it’s a look,” you said, allowing him to look at your phone screen. 

“Hey, they look like the flowers you drew on my paper a while back,” he laughed, and your heart fluttered as you realised he was right. 

You leant up to move one behind his ear, and he mirrored your movement, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, and his hand lingered. You forgot what you were doing and looked into his beautiful eyes, acutely aware of his hand cupping the side of your face. 

You wish would could say it happened in slow motion, but it didn’t, and before you knew it Jaebum had both of his hands on your face and brought his lips down to yours. 

You broke apart when you heard a low wolf whistle from nearby, but your hands stayed wrapped around Jaebum’s neck. You looked around for the source of the low-key sleazy whistle, and felt Jaebum’s chest move with him chuckling. 

Bambam and Yugyeom were standing side-by-side, Yugyeom’s arm draped around Bambam’s shoulders, the two boys’ hands linked. 

“So I guess they made up,” you smiled, looking up into Jaebum’s crescent eyes. 

“Yugyeom just had to sort out some ,” Jaebum replied casually. 

You’d never felt so whipped as when Jaebum kissed you again, hair swimming with little pink flowers. 

“Maybe some good things do come out of physics,” Jaebum said, looking down at your beaming face in the late sunlight, and you thought that just maybe, you agreed with him.