“Do you know,” Daesung pours milk into the bowl in his hand and stirs, mixing it together with the other pancake ingredients. “That some animals can sleep for so long?”

It’s almost winter, the wind is knocking against their window. Poor Seunghyun for having schedule in a day when he’d rather stay under the warmth of their blanket but there’s nothing they could do. They need to do what’s been planned, what’s been told. The older male had left this early morning with a pout that even a kiss from Daesung couldn’t erase.

“Why?” Ken asks with wonders. “Do they work away? Like appa?”

Daesung laughs. In Ken’s logic, sleeping always has some connection with working. The more days his appa went out for work, the longer they’d sleep when they came home.

“No, they do that to avoid winter,” Daesung hesitates, not truly understand how to explain to his son. Well, he was the one bringing up the topic anyway.

“Why?” Ken frowns. “Winter has snow.”

Ken loves snow, loves catching the snowflake with his hand, loves watching them piled up and turned the road into white. His appa said that snow is basically just ice but Ken isn’t sure about that. Yes, snow is cold, just like ice but they tastes different. He knows because he ate some when his appa wasn’t looking. Snow was definitely worse and Ken preferred the vanilla ice cream, which is also his Seunghyun–appa’s favorite. But snow is far more beautiful than any ice cream, also he can’t get it in the convenient store.

“It’s because of the snow,” Daesung cracks an egg, adding it to the batter. “It’s making it hard to get food in the wild.”

“Why?”

Daesung snickers. Why is definitely kids’ favorite question. “Because they can’t go out with snow covering everything, sweetheart.”

“Boots?”

“They don’t have one,” Daesung pokes his son’s cheeks playfully.

“Why?”

“Animals don’t wear boots,” Daesung shakes his head. “Or mittens.”

“They not cold?”

“Not really, bubble. They usually have thick fur.”

Ken hums. “Why I don’t have, appa?”

“Because we are not animal?”

“Why?”

Daesung blinks. “Why?”

“Why we not animal, appa?”

“Because we are…human?”

Ken tilts his head to the side, confused.

“Who wants pancakes?” Daesung asks cheerfully, carefully and hopefully stirring out the conversation into another topic.

It works as Ken squeals in delight, asking if he could make a panda shape pancake like the last time.

***

“Appa,” Ken is standing on the doorway, wearing his sill purple pajama that Daesung never asked Seunghyun where he got it from. “Why we don’t have tail?”

“Huh?”

Ken climbs onto the bed, sits on the spot next to Daesung. “Why, appa?”

“Because human doesn’t have tail, bubble,” Daesung doesn’t know what to do. It’s fifteen minutes past ten and his parenting skill has never been good in the first place.

“Why not?”

“Why would you want to have tail, Ken?”

Ken ponders to question for a minute. “Brownie has.”

“It’s because he’s a kangaroo.”

“Can we have tail, appa?”

“No, we can’t,” Daesung smiles. “Human can’t grow tail.”

“Hmm–mmm.”

“Not sleepy, baby?” Daesung the son’s hair affectionately. “Want to sleep with me? Seunghyun–appa won’t be back until tomorrow.”

Ken nods, dashing to his room to get his pillow. Daesung thinks it’s a blessing for them, to have a kid that’s been excited knowing that he’d have his own room, never complained about having to sleep on his own. Most children refused to sleep separately from their parents but Ken…Ken is different. For Seunghyun and Daesung, he’s special.

The boy comes back in short time, with pillow in his hand, his favorite plushie clutched against his chest and a question in his mind. “Appa.”

“Hmm?”

“Can we sleep in water?”

“We –what?” Daesung snorts.

“Like fish,” Ken snuggles against his appa’s side. “I want to breathe water.”

“You want to learn swimming, bubble?”

“Can I?”

“Of course,” Daesung tucks his son under the cover, pecks his forehead. “Let me talk to your Seunghyun–appa later.”

“Yay, swimming!”

“Now sleep, hmm? Close your eyes.”

“Appa?”

“I’ll be sleeping too.”

“All right.”

Daesung lays beside his son, keeping him close by his side. Ken gives out scent of innocence, of dreams and wonders, of things that Daesung thought he had lost during his hard times. Most important of all, the boy is giving out the taste of life, one that often made Daesung so confused but would fight to never lose it. It’s been more than a year and he’s still not really knowing how to be a parent sometimes; how to protect his kid when the boy seemed too eager to step into the pile of fallen leaves, how to explain to him that moon doesn’t follow them everywhere but rather stays on its spot just the same every day, how to tell his son that they can’t grow hamburger in their garden.

But it’s his world to explore now, the journey he embraces dearly in his heart, no matter how hard the adventure might be. Welcoming Ken to his house –and keeping him –is definitely the best decision he’d ever made. Here, with Ken’s steady breaths against his skin, Daesung is again being reminded of how blessed his life has been.

“Appa,” Ken’s voice is tiny, distinct as he’s slowly drifting into slumber. “Can we fly?”

Daesung waits until the small body in his arms relaxing, until he sees Ken’s fist flutters open like blooming flowers, before he leans down to whisper against the sleeping boy’s ear. “Maybe someday...And when that happens, I want to be your wings, my son.”

***