Jihyo watches her members playing around after practice that day. It’s already the second month of 2018. Does she want to rest? Oh no no no, after training for 10 years, this was more than she could’ve ask for. To debut with her fellow members and sisters, under one of the biggest entertainment company in South Korea and becoming one of the most popular idol groups; this is it, this is the life she chose.

She closes the door to TWICE’s practice room and walks around the big building. Somehow, she found herself on the rooftop. The door wasn’t lock this time, lucky her. She smiles as she watches the city lights below her, the day is getting darker. She can see the moon coming out from the clouds. Seoul is so pretty at night.

“Not as pretty as you though.” Something caught in Jihyo’s throat, those words… She turns to her side and saw a guy wearing the shirt that her mother bought for him, she has one just like that. It was pink, with a cute panda in the middle of the shirt. He would never wear it, he says, saying its ‘too pink’. But he did eventually, after numerous begging and aegyos from Jihyo.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” The boy chuckled, ruffling Jihyo’s hair affectionately. Jihyo shakes her head and force herself to look at the night view of Seoul again. “I’m proud of you, you know. I know we don’t talk anymore, but I just wanted you to know.”

Jihyo bites her trembling lips to stop her from crying, “Why did you leave me, then? You said you would ALWAYS be ther-.” She turns to glare at the guy again but he was gone, disappeared into thin air. Jihyo sighs and wiped the few tears that manage to escape her eyes.

Why does this always happen at night when she’s alone? She knew it was only her imagination but it felt so…real. But can’t be real, can’t it? The guy was married with a child now. There’s no way he’s coming back to her.

She can’t help but fished her phone out from her pockets and opening her private SNS account. They followed each other there. So she knew everything that is happening to him. How he got his girlfriend pregnant last year and how they got married and started to live together as one happy family.

She stared at this one picture he still hasn’t deleted even after his marriage. It was a picture of him at the age of twelve and her at the age of ten, both had ice cream stains on their pink panda shirt. They had taken the picture at the playground in their neighborhood after Jihyo got scolded pretty badly at practice. He took her out to play to cheer her up and asks his mother to buy them ice cream because he always knew how to lift her mood.

Jihyo scoffs, right, of course he does. They basically grew up together; they can’t even be separated after Jihyo entered JYPE and became their trainee. He always seems to know if she had a bad day, and he was always there to help her with school works. Always being there to cheer her up and help her, always there to protect her from the jealous bullies at school.

“Oh yes, I remembered that. You smeared ice cream on me that day!” Jihyo sighs, he’s back again. She puts her phone back in her pockets and when she looked up, she came face to face with the guy that has been haunting her ever since she debuted. “You did it first, I just got my revenge.” Jihyo said without much emotion, but she was staring at the guy with the sparkly brown eyes. The guy grinned, “Yeah, I supposed I did. What a waste of ice cream though.” He lets out a chuckle, as he stared at her too.

“You’re being really weird again. Did I do something wrong?” You left, Jihyo wanted to say out-loud. But she can’t even say it to an imaginative childhood friend. “Woah, are the girls giving you a hard time? Or are you having a hard time as a leader? Even in her head he still manages to say the right thing.

“Oh come on Ji, you’re a fantastic leader! And I’m not just saying that because I love you, love you, it really is the truth! Caring like a mother, strict as a father, playful like a brother and loving as a sister! You’re the whole package Ji.” Jihyo was half listening, her brain was stuck at the ‘because I love you, love you’ part, it was playing in her head in a loop.

It was what he always says to her. She sighs and ignored the so called friend beside her. But he was sort of right… TWICE is now one of the most popular and successful group in Korea. And they haven’t even been around that long. She was proud of her girls, they worked really hard. With Tzuyu’s beauty boosting them when they debuted, they’ve got Sana’s ‘Shy shy shy’ as their trademark during Cheer Up, Momo is getting recognize as one of the best dancers in the K-pop scene and they’ve got Jeongyeon and Dahyun in varieties. Everyone was doing well; Mina is known as the elegant swan, Chaeyoung can basically do everything from rapping, singing to dancing and Nayeon is famous for her bubbly charms and cheerfulness (not to mention the cute rabbit teeth).

But her? What did she do other than bringing her group down? She’s famous for being a trainee for ten years but is considered not talented enough to be the main vocal. She keeps getting hate for the only thing that she think she was good at. Is she really born to sing? Can she really shine on stage like the others? Or is she really just dragging the group’s image down by being the worst main vocal of all time? Jihyo sighs, where did the happy go lucky Jihyo that she always show on TV go? Has she always been this depressing or is this a new side of her?

“Jihyo, you are BORN to sing my dear. Your voice is so beautiful, you’re a great dancer and I will repeat this a thousand time, you are a damn good leader. Your members look up to you for a reason. You’re an amazing person.” Jihyo blinks her tears away as she looks at the fading figure of her best friend that she grew up with. Even in her imagination he can still cheer her up. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry I left. I was and still am a jerk. Don’t forgive me, you deserve someone better. Someone that can actually DO the stuff they say they can. I am after all, just saying empty words…” Jihyo sniffs as the figure disappear completely.

She smiles when she recalls the words of the twelve year old him again, “I hope you become a singer one day! I can listen to you sing all day.” That was when she decided that she would be a great singer on day. It was him who made her realize that this is her dream, she knew it all along of course but was scared to admit it out-loud. But with him always close to her, and his words that will be a constant assurance to her; she decided, at the mere age of ten, that she would become a great singer so he would be able to hear her sing anytime he wants to.

But she supposed that ‘forever and always’ were such short times after all. He was gone by the time she debuted with TWICE. She sighs again as she watches the skies this time, the stars appearing one by one. She shivers when she felt the cold wind against her skin.

She jumps in surprise when her phone rang. It was Jeongyeon calling, it was probably time to go home. She quickly went to meet them. She answered all the, “Where were you?” questions with her typical, “Out for some air.” Excuse.

They stopped by the JYPE building because the managers had something to do. So the TWICE members waited in the van, chatting happily with each other. Jihyo stared out the window, not in the mood to talk to anyone just yet. She pressed her nose on the window and her big eyes widen as she recognize the guy who was waiting outside a car with a kid on his shoulder.

Ah, it’s him. How can she forget? His wife works in JYPE. He always picks her up from work like the good husband that he is. She must’ve work late today, since it was already dark out. Indeed, after a while, her wife came out and was greeted by a warm hug by her husband and child. Jihyo can’t help but feel a slight pang in her heart. He promised her this too; that he will personally pick her up from her individual schedules so they can spend some time together. Jihyo bites her trembling lips once more; that could be them.

Once back at the dorm, she was the first one to shower and lay down on her bed, mumbling something about being too tired and about their hectic schedule tomorrow. She lets a few tears fall in her now dark room. She loved him. He was supposed to love her back.

It hurt when he left. It hurt even more when she felt the lost every single night. It took a lot of time and energy to get over the fact that she lost him. Everybody knows he’s not just a guy best friend, someone more than a random childhood friend. But then again they weren’t exactly anything, not a couple and definitely not married. She felt a terrible lost, but was he even hers to begin with? Maybe not.

But she was his. And that fact goes without saying.

A/n: This is a terrible oneshot, I'm sorry. I just wanted to try writing one, haha. I'm currently writing a Sungjin x Oc and Jaebum x Oc story called If It's Meant To Be. Just click on the title to read it, if you want to give it a shot. Anyway, thanks for reading (if you got this far) and I hope you enjoyed it =)