Chapter 1



“Jaejoong-sshi…it’s almost time…” one of the staff told the number one idol in Korea, Kim Jaejoong.

“I’m coming!!!” Jae’s voice could be heard from inside the changing room. As soon as he came outside, the staff’s eyes were all on him. He looked so gorgeous with his new custom; the newly-cut-black-raven hair was shining as the black jacket made it even composed. There’s no shirt, Jae just used a black jacket to cover his upper, and down there, he used black reflecting pants. The concept was y, or so he had been told.

“Come here,” his makeup artist called and gave final touch,” You good to go…”

“Thanks, nuna…” Jae smiled to the forty-year-lady. The lady slapped Jae slightly on the shoulder because he just made her blushed. Well, the affection of Kim Jaejoong’s iness now could kill any woman that in one meter radius around him; no concern for the age.

“30 seconds!!!” another staff shouted and so Jae went up to the stage, he was going to be in ‘Come To Play’ talk show. He’s the only guest that’s invited; the next one hour was totally his.

“Jaejoong-sshi, nice to meet you!” the two MC chorused. After they greeted each other quickly, they immediately rushed to the seat. Jae indeed a busy idol, his schedule always packed; he would already pass out if there’s no one beside him. He got his manager that would always be there for him. Yet, it didn’t feel the same.

“…5…4…3…2..1..ON AIR!” the staff shouted as the MC greeted.

“Here we are again, Come To Play!!!” one of the MC said as he smiled,” I’m Leeteuk, your MC…”

“And I’m Eunhyuk, your favorite MC!” the other one said.

“Yaaa! Who said that you’re the favorite MC? My vote was same as you!” Leeteuk protested, followed by the expensive laugh by Jaejoong. 

“Ehem, you know what, Korea number one idol will accompany us today! Yey! Let’s welcome, our Kim Jaejoong!” Eunhyuk moved to next point.

“Anyounghaseyo, Kim Jaejoong imnida!” Jae smiled as he killed the girls’ heart in the studio. His fans screamed hysterically.

“Omoo…I think I’m going to be deaf…” Eunhyuk joked.

“You indeed are popular Jaejoong-sshi,” Leeteuk said,” But, being famous after all need a lot of works, right? So can you tell us what you usually do for improve yourself?”

“Hmm, let see…” Jae gave his cute expression, once again the fans had gone crazy,” I practice my voice every day, I love singing after all. And I usually drank some healthy drinks that my manager bought for me, and the vitamins. To put it short, practice make perfect and you need to maintain your health.”

“Yeah, that usually what a singer does, but do you have anything special that make you can be this famous?” Eunhyuk, the other MC, asked.

“Yes, I wouldn’t come this far without…” Jae paused for a moment; the people were waiting for his answer. Jae could feel the tears that almost outburst from his eyelids, he couldn’t think of him. He needed to be strong,” Without my family, friends, manager, staff, and the company.”

After another chit chat, the MC told Jae to do a performance, live.

“What should we ask him to sing for us today?” Leeteuk asked to the audience.

“How about the hit song in his album?” Eunhyuk suggested.

“We want something else…” the fans chorused together.

“What is it then?” Jae smiled to his fans. Some of them blushed immediately, Jae just chuckled.

“We want to hear that song…the song that Oppa sang on Oppa’s debut…” one of the fans said. The others agreed.

“Yeah, that’s really indeed a good song!” Leeteuk agreed.

“But, we never hear Jaejoong-sshi sing it after his debut…” Eunhyuk said.

“Hm, so Jaejoong-sshi, do you want to sing the song?” Leeteuk asked. Jae could just say no, but he had no hearts to let his fans down; he loved them. Maybe it was the last reason why he’s still singing now, since he lost him.

“I’ll sing it…” Jae answered shortly and in a second, the music already played, it’s ‘Proud’ that Jae sang. Jae sang the song beautifully, even more than when he debuted. The music and harmony mixed with his gorgeous voice; the voice that melted everyone’s heart. Yet, there’s one heart in this word that’s crying when he heard the song from his big flat TV; he just couldn’t help it. He’s the only one that knew what the song meant, it’s created for him.

“Jaej…” he shut his own mouth as tears started to fall over his cheek, the pain was unbearable.

“What a wonderful performance!!!” the MC chorused together, they even tried to act like Jae when he sang it. Jae ended up laughing at the craziness the MC made, and so were the fans.

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“Thank you so much for today, Jaejoong-sshi, our show broke the chart because of your appearance!!!” the two MC cheered together, like the person who just won the lottery.

“It’s actually should be me the one who thanked you. It’s a nice talk show!” Jae said to the two MC,” And you can stop call me with ‘–sshi’, Leeteuk hyung, Eunhyuk ah…”

Both of the MCs were so happy that Jae let the formalities down; not all the number one idol could do something like this. After done saying goodbye to the staff, Jae excused himself as he met his manager in his changing room.

“Tired?” the manager asked him.

“Yeah…” Jae answered shortly. His body wasn’t that tired, but the pain in his heart still there, tiring him up than before. Was it because he sang the song again? He knew the song meant so much for him, even though he never knew if it still meant anything to the other side. 

“Jaejoong ah, do you need anything?” the manager was worried seeing Jae lost his enthusiasm. Well, to be frank, Jae just smiled in front of camera; somehow his smile just disappeared when he’s alone or with his manger.

“I’m thirsty…” Jae said as he shut his eyes, trying to let them rest for a while.

“Here…” his manger gave him a bottle of water. Jae took it and gulped half of it. He wanted to cry somehow, the tears already made their way out from his eyelids, ruining the makeup.

“Jae!” the manger shocked, he wiped the tears as he immediately hugged Jaejoong. Jae just could cry on the man’s shoulder. After a few minutes, Jae stopped crying, he felt so tired; it’s pass midnight.

“I’ll take you home now…” the manager stood as he helped Jae to lean on him, getting to the van that right in front of the backstage. There was no one around, so no one saw the star’s teary eyes.

After opened the door, the manger let Jae rest on the seat. He told the driver to get they home.

“Thank you…Siwon…” that’s the last sentence that’s out from Jae’s mouth before he fell into his deep sleep. The man was left with a smile, he knew that Jae had no one; it’s only him now that he could lean on.

“We’re here, Siwon…” the driver said as they arrived at Jae’s and Siwon’s condo. They lived together since Jae moved to Siwon’s company; he’s now in Siwon’s care.

“OK, then, I’ll need you to stand by here at 10 o’clock tomorrow, thank for today Hankyung…” and so Siwon brought Jae on his back as he waited for the lift door to open. He pushed the number ‘3’ and when they arrived, Siwon unlocked the door and brought the sleeping man to his own room. He got the shoes off from Jae’s feet, then he used wet towel to clean Jae’s face.

“Mmmm…”that’s all Jae mumbled as Siwon made him to bed. He made sure the blanket covered Jae well and the window was closed; he wouldn’t want to find the star sick the next day, would he?

“Good night…” the manager said as he closed the door. 

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“Hello?” a drunken voice could be heard as he answered the phone.

“Yunho…you’re…drunk,” Yoochun said on the phone.

“Yeah, so what?” Yunho answered back,” No matter how much I prayed and did for them, no one kept their loyalty to me! They all just took me for granted! I hate them all!!!”

“Yunho, you didn’t mean that…” Yoochun said, he knew Yunho was talking about Jaejoong. He was sure the man was up to see Jae’s show just now.

“I meant every of it!!! I…meant…it…” Yunho ended mumbling.

“Where are you?” Yoochun asked.

“I meant…it…what’s wrong with me? Am I…not wroth…as…a manager…?” Yunho kept mumbling as tears came to his cheek again.

“Yaaa! Yunho cut the crap! Where are you?!” Yoochun was seriously worried now.

“My office, damn it!!!” Yunho cursed, Yoochun didn’t mad at it, and he knew he’d surely in Yunho state if he’s Yunho or even worse.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes; I’ll take you home, OK? Wait for me…” Yoochun made sure the other man agreed, before he closed the phone.

The drunken man let his phone dropped on the floor as he drank more vodka on the bottle. After a few gulp, he could feel his eyes spinning and he lost his conscious.