Sehun POV:

“We’re Late!”

            “I’m coming, I’m coming.” Grabbing the keys to run out the door, Luhan huffed,

“We’re always late.”

“They’re just early, Luhan.”

“Stop trying to be funny, I’m actually late.” It was at times like those when I thought about how fast Luhan had grown up. Truthfully it felt like I had blinked and suddenly a once small child, was a 17 year old, although he was still small. I could never tell him that though, and always told him he’d grow taller soon, but part of me didn’t want him to, and also didn’t think he would. Hopping into the car and speeding off, I thought about the days when he was still a sweet child.

Flashback:

My eyes flashed open to see Luhan jumping on top of me, waking me up from my frequent nightmares.

“How did you get out?” I smiled at him, gently brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I climb.”

“You climbed. And you know that’s dangerous, don’t you? Uncle Sehun doesn’t want you to get hurt.” My words passed right through Luhan’s mind, as he continued to snuggle up into the blankets that had been keeping me warm, giggling as I became cold. Looking over at the clock, I knew I had to get ready to go to work, but when I looked back at my child snoozing away, I decided I’d do the same for a while longer.

“Samchon.” Luhan sat up a little and put his tiny hands on my chest, pushing down a little to stare into my face.

“Hm?”

"I have tell you something, it’s a secret.” I lifted my head to let Luhan whisper in my ear, as it was something he often did, tell me ‘secrets’.

“What is it?”

“I love you.” With that, Luhan giggled like the child he was and hid under the covers, waiting for me to play with him.

End of Flashback

            “Haaaaaa…..” I deeply sighed while looking at Luhan. “Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa.”
            “What are you doing?”
            “Oh nothing, just remembering the 5 year old Luhan that would tell me he loved me, but you know, it’s nothing.”
            “That was twelve years ago.” Luhan opened the window to let the chilly Spring air in. I made a dissatisfied face at him and pouted as I pulled up to the curb.
            “Aigoo, you hurt your poor uncle’s heart being so mean. I think I need a bandaid.” I heard Luhan mumble something, but before I could ask what he said, he was out the door, running into school. “Couldn’t even say goodbye.” When he was younger he would wait for me to park so we could walk in together, but I suppose that wasn’t very cool. Although he had changed in a lot of ways, he was also still the same little boy. Luhan was still a cry baby, and had always been extremely sensitive. And although he tried to hide it, he was also still kind and quite clumsy
            I worked as an accountant in the government center (not as fancy as it sounds) just down down the road, and lived only fifteen minutes away by car from Luhan’s school, so the commute wasn’t bad. Yet lately, the silence made the commute feel like hours. It was true that I had been quiet the past few weeks, but I had a lot on my mind, with Luhan’s 18th birthday coming up and all. He would be an adult soon, which meant he didn’t really need me, and it truthfully scared me. I feared he would hate me when he found out the truth, but it was my fault for keeping it from him for so long.

            “Good morning, Mr. Oh."
            “Good morning, Ms. Kang.” Ms. Kang was a young, recently divorced teacher that I worked with. Needless to say, she was always trying to ask me out, no matter how kindly I turned her down. She was a nice woman, and necessarily come off too strong, but almost every Friday she would ask me if I wanted to get a drink with her, and everytime I would say no because of Luhan, and lucky for me, today was Friday.
            “Would you like to come out with me tonight? A few others are also coming.” I was tired of turning her down with the same excuse, so instead I postponed my decline.
            “How about I let you know by the end of today? I’m not quite sure what my nephew’s plans are.”
            “You and your nephew, attached at the hip! Alright then, I’ll talk to you later.” It wasn’t that Ms. Kang was a bad person, but she just wasn’t my type. Maybe I didn’t even have a type, I didn’t know. I had dated a few people here and there, but the idea of bringing someone into Luhan’s life and then taking them out again was awful to me. I suppose I could have started dating when he grew older, yet I didn’t feel the need for anyone else. Although lately I had been lonely, because it seemed like he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I had been a lot of things lately.

Luhan was not my biological nephew. Actually, we had no relation to one another at all. Long story short, my mother’s friend was killed by her own husband in a murder-suicide case, and my mother couldn’t even take care of me, so my grandparents ended up with a baby and a 10 year old almost at the same time. Since my grandparents could not take care of a baby, I basically raised Luhan myself as a middle schooler. I told Luhan he was my nephew, and my grandparents died before Luhan was old enough to realize anything was off. I think he knew now that I wasn’t really his uncle, because I didn’t even have siblings, but he didn’t say anything, so neither did I. Of course it was wrong of me to keep things from him, but I didn’t know what else to do. I just didn’t want to see him hurt. In a month, Luhan would turn 18. I promised myself that if I hadn’t told him by then, I would, because it would only hurt him more the longer I waited, but as the time came closer, I didn’t know if I could go through with it.

Bzzz. Bzzz.

“Hello?”

“It’s me, can I stay over at Baekhyun’s house for the weekend? We have a huge project to work on.” My heart sank a little bit, knowing that letting Luhan stay over at his friends meant I’d be alone, and that I didn’t have an excuse for Ms. Kang.

“Yes, it’s fine. Just keep in touch, okay? I love you, be safe.”

“...Okay.” I had been saying ‘I love you’ to Luhan a lot the past few weeks, probably thinking it would make up for the hurt when I told him he wasn’t really related to me. I sighed out loud while storming down the hall to Chanyeol’s office, the person I usually barged in on when I was panicking.

“What now?” Chanyeol harshly dropped his pen after I flung open the door, and closed it a little too loud.

“I can’t do this to him, Chanyeol.”

“This again?”

“Honestly, is it that awful? I mean, his mother died, and things happened, so I raised him myself. What’s so bad about that?” I rubbed my temples, feeling the stress return to my head.

“Noth-”

“Oh, yeah, the fact that I waited almost 18 years to tell him that we have no relation at all, and that his dad murdered his mother and then took his own life,”

“Sehun-”

“so he was practically raised by a stranger, and oh not to mention,” I whisper yelled as

loud as I could, “I’m also in love with him! It’s great! Absolutely wonderful!” After pacing the room back and forth, I slumped down in a chair and huffed.

“I’m sure he’ll understand, Sehun. Luhan is a nice kid.”

“Don’t you understand the betrayal he’ll feel? Someone he trusts as his family doesn’t see him as family. He’ll think I’m just some -”

“Hey, we both know that’s not true. You didn’t feel that way until just a couple years ago, at least be fair to yourself. Maybe just wait to tell him that part.” I shook my head.

“No, I have to tell him everything at once. It’s the only way he would ever be able to possibly trust me again. I can’t tell him a secret while keeping some back.” Chanyeol nodded, seeming more interested in my personal problems. I’d known Chanyeol for about six years, since I started working in the government firm. He was an accountant like me, but that was where our similarities stopped. He was a definite player, and seemed to have a different girlfriend every month. But our differences helped us become friends I suppose- if we were friends actually. We never did anything outside of work, but we still talked about our problems frequently- for example, now.

“So when will you tell him?”

“Soon… I’ll tell him soon.”

Luhan POV:
            “He said I can.” I flipped my phone shut and shoved it back into my pocket. Yes, I had a flip phone. My uncle wasn’t exactly the most tech-savvy person out there, and we were also a little on the poor side- or so he said. He was an accountant, so we couldn’t be that poor.   
            “Are things okay? I know you don’t want to talk about it, but this is the third weekend you’ve stayed at my place, your uncle’s going to know something is up.”

“Yeah well, he pisses me off, you know? Lately he’s been all mopey and depressed, but he never tells me anything, even when I ask.”

“Maybe he thinks it’s better for you not to know?”
            “Maybe? I don’t know. He’s always so private, and it just makes me feel like he thinks I’m a kid.” Baekhyun nodded in agreement. There were a lot of things about Sehun that pissed me off, like the way he babied me sometimes, or told me I’d understand when I’m older… but the main thing though was that something was bothering him, and he wouldn’t tell me. It pissed me off that I went to him for everything, and he never did the same.

            “I just want to know what’s wrong.” Baekhyun, my childhood best friend, and only friend at that, and I were sprawled out on the floor eating snacks.
            “I mean, I’m sure he just doesn’t want to burden you.”
            “But I tell him everything… I’ve never seen him like this. Maybe I should actually go home and talk to him tonight.”
            “Are you sure? Luhan you’re known for doing things on impulse and regretting it later.” I continued to munch away on my snacks, thinking that I’d head back later in the evening,
            “I know. But it’s bothering me.”  
            “Okay, okay. I won’t stop you.” He was going to tell me what was going on, or else… I didn’t know what else.

Sehun POV:
            “So, have you decided?” It was the end of the day already…
            “Well-"
            “Oh, come on. You always turn me down. Look, I know you’re not into me, but at least come to chat with your colleagues. You’ve been working here for such a long time, but no one knows you!” I thought about it for a moment. It was true that I had been at the school for a long time. Since I had Luhan, it was hard for me to go out, but in all honestly, I was not a sociable person.
            “Well I suppose going out for a little wouldn’t hurt.”
            "Wonderful! We’re heading out at 5.” I smiled the best I could until Ms. Kang was gone, and then let out a deep breath of relief. I really didn’t want to go out.

Luhan POV:
            I had arrived home around 6:30, hoping to make it in time for dinner. I thought that talking over dinner might be an easier way to go about it, but when Sehun didn’t arrive, I wished I had stayed at Baekhyun’s. For what seemed like hours, I sat on the couch waiting for him to arrive. I didn’t want to call him, because I knew he would just rush home and leave whatever he was doing, but I was getting a little worried. He never went out. Something really was wrong. I even took a shower, and sat until my dripping wet hair was just a little damp, then finally I heard the door click at 11pm. He never went out, and never stayed out that late when he did.

“Sehun.”  
            “Gah! Luhan… You scared me, I thought you were at Baekhyun’s.” His usual pale skin looked pink, and I knew he had been out drinking.
            “I was. But I changed my mind.” Sehun nodded softly and opened the fridge to get some water, turning on the lights in the process
            “Why were you sitting in the dark?”   
            “I’ve been here since 6:30, I guess I didn’t notice the change.” I lied, of course I knew it was dark. But the dark helped me think better I guess.
            “So why’d you change your mind?” When Sehun came and sat across from me, the putrid stench of sweet perfume swept across the room, overwhelming my senses. My eyes even watered.
            “I wanted to talk to you about something, but seeing that you’re not totally sober and smell like a woman, I don’t want to be around you.” For some reason I was pissed off. Instead of going to me to confide, he went to what, some e or something?
            “Woah, I’m fine, I only had a few drinks, and I was out with colleagues from work, I wasn’t with anyone."
            “It wouldn’t matter if you were, it’s whatever.” I got up and started storming off to my room.
            “Hey what’s with that attitude? We’re not done talking.”
            “Done? You never even start.” I shot him a death glare.
            “You’re not making any sense, I-”
            “Just leave me alone, would you? I changed my mind.” Why didn’t he treat me like an adult? I had just pushed my door open when Sehun grabbed my arm and raised his voice at me.
            “You are not being fair towards me, and I want you to quit it! Tell me right now what you have to say instead of doing a 360 with your emotions!” I hated when he raised his voice at me, because it always made me cry and tell him everything.
            “Why don’t you ever tell me anything?!” I embarrassingly began to sob, “You’re all mopey for weeks, and then instead of coming to me, you go to some e?! I mean, what the h-hell!”

“Luhan, I was not with a e, so that’s one thing you can stop crying about.”

“B-but why don’t you tell me things? I tell you everything!” I felt like my heart had burst. It had been such a long time it seemed since I had cried last, and there were so many things that I had built up along the way, they were all pouring out in that instance.

“Work has been stressful lately, that’s all. I figured that you didn’t need to worry about me, when I was fine.” I couldn’t tell if Sehun was telling the truth or not, but my vision was so blurry, it didn’t even matter anymore. Baekhyun was right, I did regret my impulsive decision.
 

Sehun POV:
            I understood Luhan’s feelings, but I couldn’t tell him what was really going on. Instead, I coddled him, and let him cry it out until he fell asleep on my bed. “I’m sorry…” I whispered in his ear. I wasn’t being fair to him, instead I was being selfish.