「Listen to my story today
Secrets that no one knew about」

‘Are you okay?’

‘Why’ve you been ignoring me lately?’

‘Did I do something?’

‘Jinhong....I know you’re reading these.’

The young Korean closed out of his Kakao solemnly, his shoulders hunched forward as his head fell into his hands. Jinhong knew he shouldn’t continue doing this but, in all honesty, he had no idea what else he was supposed to do. Love wasn’t something he was an expert at. Sure, he tended to flirt a lot but none of it was ever with anyone that he actually had any feelings for. This was different though....from the first day, Jinhong knew, he knew that he was in love with his best friend since grade school & that, by isolating himself, he was putting himself at risk for losing him. But, did that stop Jinhong? Of course not. Why? The Kim was scared, he knew Sungoh was into guys but did he even see Jinhong in that way? Or did he see him just as a brother?

’Why can’t this be easier?’ The boy wondered, fists clenching in his hair, pulling harshly enough to tear out some but he didn’t really care. His entire body felt numb, devoid of any emotions except shame & anger. Shame that the only way he had found fit to deal with this situation was to ignore Sungoh. Anger because, Sungoh had been in this situation before, surely, he should’ve been able to pick up on this or at least come to see Jinhong in person to see what was wrong. But no. Jinhong has been held up in his house for going on 2 weeks & not a single person had come to get him out which, wasn’t completely surprising, his friends usually gave him space, well, minus Sungoh. The elder would usually be there with him to sort things out & it baffled him as to why he wasn’t here this time.

’Jinhong, please....please just talk to me. Talk to me. I promise whatever you say I’ll never tell a soul if you’ll just stop isolating yourself from us. Why can’t you talk to me?’

He laughed dryly, eyes now burning from the tears cascading down & out of his eyes. Who knew someone could be so oblivious to another feelings, especially after knowing them as long as they had known each other.

‘If you don’t reply to me I’ll stop messaging you. Please. Say something.’

”You’re my problem....”

「(I’ll tell you) I love you, I love you
Shout it with a voice that no one can hear」

It had been weeks since the last time Jinhong has shown up to work, he was sure that when he finally did he would get an earful but he just couldn’t bring himself to do anything or go anywhere, especially not to a job where he would also run into Sungoh. No matter how long it had been, Jinhong still wasn’t ready. There were still so many uncertainties & amongst all of those, the boy knew that he was in trouble with multiple people for skipping out on his responsibilities & not checking up with anyone. At the same time that he felt most comfortable isolating himself, Jinhong’s skin was itching at the thought of doing SOMETHING, anything, at this point. There was a tugging at the bottom of his heart that made him want to just walk up to Sungoh & spill everything in one moment but there was also a part of his head reminding him of everything that could go wrong if he confessed.

Everything was just too much all at once. He was still young, he has had many dating experiences & was sure that he might have many more but there was just something that set this one apart. It could be the fact he’s known the elder for so long, that it’s taken him this long to edge his way into the Kim’s heart & find himself a sizeable place. Maybe it was the fact that Sungoh was just an amazing person, he was kind to everyone, even strangers, he was always there for Jinhong even if he had his own things going on even when there other friends weren’t there. This made Jinhong realize that, throughout all of the people he’s had flings with, so called relationships, that the person who truly owned his heart was Sungoh.