Behind the dark clouds
There is a dazzling light
You shine like the stars
You light up my heart

-EXO, Been Through

Baekhyun glanced tentatively at the clock, before shutting his eyes and trying to hold back his tears, ignoring the pitying looks from the strangers surrounding him.

"Sir, are you ready to order?" the waitress asked for the sixth time, gazing at his unopened menu.

He brushed his fingers across his carefully styled blond hair. "Could you give me ten more minutes?" he asked. "I- don't know where he is." he smiled, embarrassed and ashamed, as she turned and walked off, careful to cast him a sympathetic look.

It's not like he was lying. He'd been waiting for Sehun for a two hours, and- he glanced at the clock again- sixteen minutes. His boyfriend had always been late to their dates, but it was never this bad. It was their anniversary for God's sake.

"You can make it, right?" Baekhyun had asked, pressing a hand on his boyfriend's back.

He looked up from his phone, and sent the next text. "Make what?" he asked, frowning slightly. "We made plans?"

The shorter just smiled. "Six o'clock. The restaurant down the street."

"That's expensive," Sehun replied, smirking slightly at the ding of an incoming message. "You want me to pay?" he questioned, turning his attention to the older for a moment.

Baekhyun's grin had faltered slightly. "It's our anniversary, Sehun. We can just split the bill if it bothers you that much." he responded, removing his hand. 

"I might be a little late," the younger said finally. "I'm going to go meet with the girls at the club before. Don't think that our anniversary is going to stop my Friday partying."

He froze, and forced a curve onto his lips. "Of course not," he said faintly, watching Sehun's gaze return to his screen.

"Good," he replied, and that was it. No, 'I'm excited' or 'I'll look forward to it'. But really, what was he expecting?

Baekhyun had arrived at the restaurant, eyes lined with eyeliner the way he knew his boyfriend liked it, wearing the white shirt that Sehun had complimented him when he wore it last, thrilled and excited.

He didn't mind waiting the first fifteen minutes. Or thirty. Or forty-five. Heck, he was so used to it, he didn't even feel hurt until he was an hour late, and the looks started getting more pitiful.

But maybe, just maybe, Baekhyun was sick of waiting for him.

He closed his eyes again. Ten more minutes. If he doesn't come by then- I'll leave. he promised himself firmly, staring at his blank cellphone screen, begging for it to light up with a message, a call, anything.

He heard whispers of strangers, some mocking, some sympathy, others simple commentary on his pathetic state. Waiting for the person who was very clearly not interested in coming. He felt their apologetic gazes like they knew what was happening. He just felt worse, and worse about the whole situation and prayed that Sehun would come.

Five minutes passed, then seven, then nine, and finally ten. Baekhyun stood, feeling tears fill his eyes, unable to take it anymore- their murmurs, his shame, their looks, his anger- before a figure plopped into the seat in front of him.

"Hey, babe, sorry, traffic has been a real pain recently." the guy said loudly, purposefully loud, but he wasn't Sehun. His voice was lower, face more cheerful, ears that stuck out in an adorable way- not to mention his strikingly handsome face. "I'm Chanyeol, just go with it, yeah? Whoever didn't bother to show up is a ."

He blinked. "I- you-" he stuttered, trying to form words to answer his statement.

"'Thank you' would be fine," Chanyeol answered. "Just imagine that I'm whoever you're waiting for."

"My boyfriend," he said weakly in reply. "It's our anniversary."

Something that looked a lot like anger flickered in the taller's eyes. "How long...have you been waiting?" he asked, waving over the waitress, who smiled radiantly at his gaze.

"About two hours and a half," Baekhyun replied. "I'm Baekhyun, by the way." he added awkwardly, trying to busy himself with his menu.

Chanyeol grinned. "Nice to meet you," he flushed slightly. "I'm sorry if this is, you know, uncomfortable. Just let me know if you want me to leave, yeah?"

He smiled. "You're not bothering me," he answered quickly. "Or making me uncomfortable- I'm just...not very socially educated."

"It's all practice," the taller soothed.

Their conversation was cut off by the waitress, who seemed very happy to take their order. When she left, she seemed to have taken the flow of conversation with her, and they were draped by a blanket of silence.

"Break up with him,"

"Excuse me?" Baekhyun asked, unsure if he had heard correctly. "Could you repeat that?"

Chanyeol smiled slightly, playing with his straw. "You're not happy," he reasoned. "Break up with the jerk you're with right now. You deserve so much better than him."

He frowned. "What do you know about him?" he snapped. "Our relationship is..." he hesitated, "perfectly fine, thank you." Unconsciously, he flashed back to all of the nights Baekhyun slept alone in their shared apartment, or waited in theaters, coffee shops, or wherever the date was, for his boyfriend.

"Is it?" Chanyeol asked, tilting his head to the side slightly. "Well, ignore what I said then." he paused and then tentatively laughed. "It's just- my sister was in a relationship achingly similar to yours, and I just...don't like seeing people hurt that way."

"I'm fine. I'm used to it." Baekhyun said, feeling strangely defensive.

The taller chuckled. "Of course you are. You're strong and independent, yeah?"

He smiled weakly. "I suppose," he took a deep breath. "It's just...I can't leave him. But I feel like our relationship is so..."

"-one-sided?" Chanyeol asked. 

The smaller laughed at himself. "I'm sorry, why am I talking to you about this? We're just strangers-"

"Just for tonight, I'll be Chanyeol, your boyfriend." he grinned. "Sometimes we need to talk to people, sometimes strangers is easier. Sound good?" he asked. "Just let all of it out."

Baekhyun nodded. "Sometimes I just...wish things were different. Maybe in another life he'll love me the same way," he said quietly. "Why is love so...hard?"

Chanyeol's lips twitched slightly. "I don't think love is what makes it hard, I think it's the people involved." he said slowly, as if thinking thouroghly before speaking. "Your boyfriend doesn't mind about this-" he gestured to his chest and then to his companion, "-does he?"

He laughed bitterly. "No, of course not. He's probably getting drunk with pretty girls. I'm sure you'd do the same if you were in his shoes," he replied, sipping his water.

"Oh, I don't really... do girls," he answered, a smile playing on his oh so kissable lips.

"Me too- I mean...yeah." Baekhyun finished lamely. "Yeah, I don't either. He's bi," he added, twiddling with his napkin nervously. "Or maybe I was just a...phase."

His 'date' laughed. "Coming out isn't easy. College was a rough time for me. It's not all magic and just stepping out of the closet," he continued. "Don't blame yourself though for your boyfriend's choices. You're perfect, yeah?"

He flushed. "You don't even know me."

"Now I do," Chanyeol replied, giving him another smile. "I have good taste in people,"

Baekhyun snorted. "Right," he said teasingly. "Prove it,"

"I...well, I know you're a good person." the taller said, almost flustered. "Just agree and let's talk about something else," he said, blushing. "This isn't 'argue with Chanyeol' time!"

The blond smiled. "It is if I want it to be." he laughed. "You look like such an idiot," he said affectionately at the sight of the red-faced giant.

"A handsome idiot,"

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever makes you happy,"

"You didn't deny it," Chanyeol observed, propping his hands on his chin. "You're not so bad yourself," he commented, eyes flickering over the shorter's face. 

"You make me blush," Baekhyun snapped back playfully, but trying to control his, now, red face. "Seriously, how are you so..comfortable with me?" he asked, slightly confused.

"I don't know. Like I said, I have good judgment in people." he cracked a grin, and leaned back as the waitress placed his food in front of him. "Thank you," he said, as she stood to leave.

"Can I trust you?" Baekhyun blurted.

Chanyeol set down his spoon in slight confusion. "Excuse me?" he paused and then nodded slowly. "I'd like to think so..."

"Sometimes I..." he hesitated, took a deep breath, and tried again. "Sometimes I wish I never met him. If I could go back into time I'd erase our first hello, our first meeting.

"I gave up everything for him, everything. I left medical school for him, left my parents for him, unemployed myself for him, and here I am. Pathetic. Why was I so stupid?"

"Is that why you don't want to leave him?" Chanyeol asked, gazing down at his plate. "Because you're so...invested?" he smiled. "Or are you scared?" 

Baekhyun looked up, as if shocked. "Scared?" he echoed, eyes widening. "Why would I be scared?"

"Because somehow, by some magical reason, he gives you stability. You don't want to face the backlash of your...mistake. You want to have things go back to when you knew your decisions were right, but now, they're not anymore and you're scared, yeah?"

"I'm not-"

"You'd be surprised," Chanyeol interrupted. "how willing some people are to forgive." he finished quietly. "Love blinds people, yeah?"

Baekhyun looked away, suddenly embarrassed. "It's not that!"

"Is it not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Then what is it?"

"I- I-" Baekhyun paused. "I...don't know." he admitted. "Maybe..I, well-"

Chanyeol smiled softly. "Let's just eat. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. I'm flattered that you've entrusted me with this." he took a bite of food. "So you were going to be a doctor?"

"Yeah," he replied, eager for a subject change. "My brother's a plastic surgeon. Earns a lot,"

"I bet," Chanyeol agreed. "I'm too squeamish for that kind of stuff."

Baekhyun laughed for one of the first times that night. "Squeamish? You?" he grinned. "That's interesting."

"My uncle was a butcher. I was traumatized young," he replied defensively. "Trust me, if you see a pig get his cut off, you'll be a little yucked out." he made a face. 

"Ah, I see," Baekhyun answered, eyes glimmering with a teasing glint. "You can spare me the details."

Chanyeol laughed, throwing his head back. "Not when we're eating. Can't have a vomiting date, yeah?"

They smiled together, and soon enough, Baekhyun wasn't thinking about Sehun anymore. Chanyeol was a bright star in his inky black night. He learned that the taller was actually younger than him, and he was a musician. He had a sister, and had a couple tattoos, which he eagerly explained the meaning behind.

"See? This one says 'LOEY'," he proudly revealed the inside of his finger. "It's my producer name, and 'Yeol' backwards." he traced the letters for emphasis. "Oh, are you done eating?"

Baekhyun nodded. "Yeah-"

"Excuse me? Could we have our check?"

"Woah-" Baekhyun said. "What are you doing?"

Chanyeol smiled nervously, and glanced down at the black leather. "Uh...paying?"

"Give me that," Baekhyun snorted, making grabby hands for the bill. "It's expensive,"

He shook his head firmly, taking out his card. "You can pay for dessert."

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun replied, crossing his arms. "Do you know how much it is?"

"It's your anniversary, Baek. Let me pay." he insisted. Then he gave a cheeky grin. "I mean, our anniversary." he handed the bill to the waitress. "Anyway, I'm in the mood for some bubble tea. What do you say?"

He smiled. "Alright," he agreed. "I'm paying though,"

"We've established that." Chanyeol said, reaching out to ruffle Baekhyun's carefully styled hair. 

The older blushed as the taller clasped his hand and tugged him out of the restaurant, into the chilly night. 

"Idiot," the giant mumbled as Baekhyun shivered and rubbed at his bare arms. "Here," he held out his jacket. "take it. I'm wearing a very warm sweater as you can tell," he gestured to his thin tee sarcastically. He sighed when Baekhyun didn't move to accept it, and draped it over the smaller's shoulders.

The jacket was warm, and soft. It smelled vaguely like cinnamon, a smell he definitely didn't mind. "Are you sure?" he asked, feeling guilty. "I don't need it,"

"Please," Chanyeol waved off his concern. "it's worse if you're cold. My conscience couldn't be able to rest if you were suffering." he exaggerated.

Baekhyun smiled, looking up at the taller. "You don't even know me,"

"Come on," he rolled his eyes. "we could at least consider ourselves friends now."

He laughed softly. "Do friends hold hands?" he asked, holding up their entwined hands.

"I can let go if you want," Chanyeol offered.

"Please don't," Baekhyun replied. "It's cold. Your hands are warm."

They began to walk towards the bubble tea shop, ordering their drinks, and settling down in a corner, hidden by a wall covered in polaroids of customers holding up cups of boba.

Baekhyun smiled, sipping at his Thai tea before scrunching up his face. "Oh gosh, it's too sweet-" he pushed away the cup with a frown.

Chanyeol grabbed the drink and brought the straw to his lips and took a sip. "You should've gotten 80% sweetness..and why'd you get 100% ice?"

"What do you mean?"

The taller smiled and gestured towards the menu board. "You can get less ice, and therefor more drink. Do you want to switch?"

He flushed, much too happy over the small gesture. "No, it's fine," he said, smiling slightly. "we're good-"

"Yeah, right," he snorted, waving off his concerns. "Give it-"

"I'm good," Baekhyun repeated. "No, really, I'm good..." his voice trailed off as Chanyeol swapped their drinks and beamed at the smaller.

He winked. "I'll sacrifice for you, yeah?"

The older looked down and sipped from Chanyeol's cup, suddenly tearing up, overcome by emotion.

"Baekhyun? What's wrong-"

He shook his head. "I'm fine, sorry, I don't know what's wrong...." he felt a large hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. 

"Did I...say or do something wrong?" 

Baekhyun gave a miserable laugh. "No. It's actually the opposite."

Chanyeol hesitated, and the shorter could tell that he was confused.

"I just...nobody's been so nice and kind just to be kind to me in so long. You've really made my day." he said, wiping away tears and giving a shaky little laugh. "Thank you, and...I'm sorry."

He smiled. "What for? To be honest...I- nevermind." Chanyeol said, shaking his head. 

"What is it?" Baekhyun asked, drying his tears with his sleeve.

"I just thought that someone so beautiful shouldn't be waiting for a person who clearly doesn't deserve them." he said softly, caressing his face with a hand and using his thumb to wipe away the tears. "Please don't cry, yeah?" he pleaded.

Baekhyun reached out and wrapped his arms around the taller almost forgetting that they only knew each other for about two hours. For some reason it felt like the younger was more familiar than his boyfriend of three years. Suddenly he felt very uncomfortable after that thought and he pulled away from Chanyeol. "I've had a lot of fun today, but I think I should go home now."

"Ah," he nodded, slowly. "Of course." he shifted away. "I'm sorry-"

"Please, don't be-" Baekhyun requested, beginning to stand. "I overused your generosity..." he peeled of Chanyeol's jacket and placed it back into the taller's hands. "Thank you for everything." he bowed, suddenly formal and turned to leave, but Chanyeol grabbed his wrist.

"Can I at least walk you home?

He smiled sadly. "I don't think...that's a very good idea." 

"Oh." he said, voice hollow. "Well then, good night, Baekhyun." he pressed his lips against the shorter's cheek. "I just wanted to do that at least once." He pressed the jacket back into the smaller's arms. "And...life is short, don't spend it suffering, yeah? Keep the jacket. Goodbye."

And just like that, he was gone.

"I'm home," Baekhyun called softly, closing the door behind himself. "Sehun?" he peered into their shared room, and sighed at the sight of the empty bed.

He draped the jacket back onto his shoulders, wanting his dream to last a little longer. Slumping into the bathroom and turning on the lights, he caught sight of himself in the mirror, and found himself staring at the reflection.

Was that him? The tired, skinny boy in front of him? The blond hair and droopy eyes. I just thought that someone so beautiful shouldn't be waiting for a person who clearly doesn't deserve them, Chanyeol had said. What had Chanyeol seen in this person? He thought hard, and harder, but even though he stared for a good ten minutes, he couldn't find anything.

He gave a bitter chuckle and brushed his teeth. He washed off the eye make-up Sehun didn't even see, and hopped into the shower, dissolving his carefully styled hair under the warm spray.

He changed into his clothes to sleep, and stared at the discarded jacket, wrapping himself in it once more, unable to part with it.

The bed was made, like usual. It was comfortable, worn from his body, and the lack of another. Baekhyun tried to fill his mind with Sehun's cologne, but all he could smell was cinnamon. He tried to sleep, but the only images underneath his eyelids were Chanyeol.

He drifted off, but woke again when Sehun arrived home, dead drunk, smelling of alcohol and another girl. His heart burned as he pretended to sleep, feeling the weight of Sehun dip the mattress, and he fell into a fitful sleep.

When he woke up, his boyfriend was gone like usual. Baekhyun dragged himself from his room and saw the taller in the kitchen, nursing a hangover.

What should he say? He made countless scenarios, but the only thing that came out of his lips was "You didn't come."

Sehun smiled, and looked down at his glass of water. "Did you expect me to?"

"It was our anniversary."

"Did you expect me to?" he repeated, rising from the seat. 

Baekhyun gazed up at the taller and shook his head. "No," he said simply. "but I...I hoped. I thought I meant something to you. More than those one-night stands you have. I thought- you loved me."

"Do you want the truth?" Sehun asked, looking around, as if the room had an answer. 

Baekhyun locked his jaw. "All I ever wanted from you is the truth."

"I don't love you,"

The words hit him like a truck, and he doubled backwards as if punched. He had never really understood the meaning of heartbreak...but this...this must be it. 

"You probably already know," Sehun continued, a slight smirk on his face. "Even if you cry, my heart doesn't hurt." 

The shorter stepped away. "Did I-"

"There's no other reason," he interrupted. "I don't want to say 'I'm sorry' or 'forgive me.' This is just it. I don't love you." Sehun took a deep breath. "Let's stop this, Baekhyun, okay?"

Another slap.

Baekhyun...always knew. Since Sehun's love turned to poison, his mind cycled through emotions faster than a kid flipping radio channels. He went from level to rocky - fighting a mixture of competing emotions, each of them vying for dominance. After a reboot of sleep he'd be calm, the day stretching ahead with possibilities - time to get jobs done, connect with friends, enjoy nature. Yet coping is a thin veil over trauma.

"I...gave up so much for you, and this is it? This is how it's going to end?"

Sehun shrugged. "I suppose. I don't have a reason, I told you. I just don't love you." he exhaled slowly. "Keep the apartment, Baek. I've already...settled down with someone else."

Another punch. 

"How long?" he managed to make out, squeezing his eyes to hold in tears, and keep him from crying out. "How long have you been cheating on me?"

"Five months."

Another kick.

"Okay," Baekhyun said quietly, unable to muster up more words. "Okay," he stood, and grabbed his wallet, his car keys, and Chanyeol's jacket. 

"Where are you going?"

He smiled. "Away. I'll come to pick up my stuff later, okay? You can...keep the apartment."

It's not like he wanted it anyway.

Chanyeol was right. Maybe he was just scared.

"Thank you," Baekhyun said softly, bowing to the already closing door. 

Just another job-interview he knew he had failed. 

He sighed ruffling his now half-dyed hair, unable to afford to have it re-done. No wonder nobody hired him. He looked like a hot mess. 

Six months after his break-up with Sehun, he'd been struggling to keep a roof on his head and food on his table. An array of part-time jobs at restaurants and cafes were not enough.

He had moved on from Sehun- at least, that's what he'd been telling himself. Two months of heartbreak did nothing except make him loose a good chunk of weight. He was different now. Stronger, tougher, smarter.

"Excuse me, do I know you?"

Baekhyun turned and faced the voice. "Jongdae?"

The said male's face lit up in a grin. "Baekhyun! It's been so long! Are you working here now? I've missed you,"

He smiled at the sight of his old friend. "It has," he agreed. "I just applied...nothing's final yet." he sighed. "It's been like that for a very long time." Baekhyun glanced down in slight embarrassment.

"I might be able to pull some strings," Jongdae replied with a slight grin.

"I don't think....I deserve that." he said quietly. "When have I ever helped you?"

Jongdae's smile faltered for a moment. 

In college, Baekhyun and Jongdae were pretty much connected at the hip. If you wanted Jongdae, you'd look for Baekhyun, and vice versa. At least, before Baekhyun met Sehun. 

"I'm sorry, Jongdae." he said softly. "I'm a terrible friend."

Jongdae shook his head firmly. "I understand why you did it. You're the best friend I'll ever have, don't say that." he cracked a hesitant smile. "I'll land you a job, okay? I'm going to go see a friend of mine, would you like to come?"

"Sure," Baekhyun replied, checking his watch. "I can spare a couple hours."

They walked out of the office building and down the street, making Baekhyun slight hesitant. It must be close if they weren't driving. Jongdae led him down the sidewalk until they arrived in front of a music shop.

'Happy Virus' was a small store, filled with CD's and guitars that hit his ears the moment he walked in.

Jongdae pushed the door open, emitting a little jingle, and raised a hand. "Kyungsoo-" he called. "I have your CD."

A smaller round eyed male stepped out from the corner, and smiled. "Thanks." his voice was surprisingly deep.

"How do you feel?" Jongdae asked. "You don't....look well."

The shorter had dark bags under his pasty skin, his hair messy. He was strangely dressed in all black, almost like he was mourning. "I'm fine," he replied. "I mean, losing your boyfriend isn't easy."

"I'm sure Chanyeol doesn't want you to be upset." Jongdae said. "At least he wasn't suffering when he died, right?"

Baekhyun didn't hear the rest of what Jongdae said. His world blurred, his knees felt weak. 

When he died.

How could someone so alive, so happy, be dead? 

Suddenly he was rushed with guilt, and raw pain. 

Life is short, don't spend it suffering, yeah?

Did Chanyeol know? That he was dying?

"Baekhyun? Are you okay?" Jongdae asked, cutting through his shock.

He felt so empty. The person so full of life, and love, he was dead? The man who couldn't stand to see a practically stranger shiver in the cold. The man who got excited just talking about his job, his music, his family. 

"What happened?" Baekhyun asked, numb. "How could he be dead?"

Kyungsoo's eyes widened. "You knew him?"

"How could he be dead!" Baekhyun exploded, tears running down his cheeks, hands drawn tight into fists. "Chanyeol- how- no, why?" he sobbed. "What did he ever do?" he asked hoarsely. 

"It was lung cancer."

And somehow his brain managed to come up with one thought.

It should've been me.

If he could've, Baekhyun would've donated his own two lungs...anything to keep Chanyeol alive. Why was Baekhyun here, a person so broken and full of sadness, be living, when the person so whole and kind was dead? 

If he could've, Baekhyun would've spent years to save up money to cure him, spend days of no sleep to keep him alive.

But that's not how the world worked.

The world was cruel, and harsh. The world was empty and hollow. And yet somehow it could be bright and cheerful. Somehow the world was full, and happy.

In Baekhyun's night, Chanyeol was the stars.

He hoped Chanyeol was sparkling bright up there.

A/N Yeah...this wasn't supposed to end like that...BUT IT DID. sorry for saying it'd be fluffy...lol didn't end that way. not really happy with the writing towards the end...may edit it later....Thanks for reading! ily all!