The once-pristine and bare floors of the shared apartment was now covered in various liquids and solo cups, dented and upturned all over the place. Various scents of alcohol, sweat and other sources wafted in the still air of the living space. Midnight hadn’t hit yet, but the house was already a wreck.

Jungkook, in his haze (courtesy of his three shots with Jimin, a cooler chugging contest with Taehyung, and a failed beer pong game with Seokjin and Hoseok) watched as a drunken Yoongi attempted picking up strewn garbage. The youngest laughed as trash overflowed in Yoongi’s arms, leaving a trail behind the oblivious male, debunking his cleaning efforts. He didn’t have to worry about Yoongi chatisting him--the noise around them would have drowned it out, and from past experience, a drunken Yoongi tunnel-visioned-to-a-fault.

Jimin was slumped against him, quietly scrolling through his camera roll. Jungkook blinked, his mild headache suddenly pulsating behind his eyes the moment he started watching Jimin’s phone. “Turn your brightness down,” He hissed in his painful stupor. In reaction, Jimin didn’t do much. Knowing him, the male could be a fiery drunk or a pliant, exhausted one who simply blocked out everything in existence--other than his phone, of course.

“Hyung.” Jungkook grumbled. “Please. My eyes hurt just lookin’ at it.”

“Sso?” Jimin slurred.

It sounded as if he was about to start a banter yet he was complying with Jungkook’s request, the screen of his phone darkening considerably. “Now I can’t see, Jungkookie.” He whined, swinging his free arm blindly and whacking Jungkook in the chin. “Why did you make me...turnn’it down? Is’so dark,”

He tapped repeatedly at the screen, and from what Jungkook could see, he was setting off tons of widgets haphazardly. Jungkook huffed. His poor hyung was so far gone. Heaven forbid he tweets something without realizing. “Junngkoooook I wanna watch the countdown,”

With him and Jimin alone on the loveseat, Jungkook knew no one would come to his rescue from the smaller male. Their living room was void of Taehyung and Yoongi, who most likely retreated upstairs. Then again, their new apartment was so large that getting lost in a closet or wandering into any room undiscovered became normal.

In hopes that Jimin would quit whining and even re-position himself so his deadweight would stop straining his arm. Jungkook took the phone out of Jimin’s hands, carefully yet easily turning the brightness back up-- it was so bright--and dropping it back as if it was a hot potato. “Thaank youuu Kookie. Youu jus’ made my year, wowww…”

“Y-yeah, okay Jimin hyung. I gotta--I need to get up.”

“Mmhm…”

Jungkook gently moved Jimin enough so he could stand up, before turning and lowering his head and letting the smaller male lie completely on the loveseat. He trekked over to the bigger sofa, by the coffee table. Hopefully after some movement, his head and heart would stop being so incessant with their rhythmic beating.

Seokjin was sitting by the table on the floor, blinking tiredly at nothing in particular, not noticing Jungkook’s arrival. He stared at his hyung for a good couple minutes. Anyone would coo at this, except instead of a romantic gazing-session, Jungkook’s left staring at blank eyes, with Namjoon and Hoseok’s shrieks as their background noise. His chest hurt a bit. He chalked it up to his excessive drinking and not the fact that his hyung ignored him. Seokjin must be really buzzed, as a lack of focus was unlike his usual self when they drank together many times before. “Hyung.” Jungkook said, but it must’ve been more like a whisper (he couldn’t tell, the blood pounding in his head reached his ears, everything was unclear) as Seokjin did not reply.

Pouting, Jungkook lowered to his knees on the floor, reaching across the table to lightly smack the junction of Seokjin’s neck and shoulder. That, to his triumph, did elicit a reaction from the older male. His eyes lit up immediately, before mischief overtook his features. “Jungkookie! Is that how you greet your hyung?”

Jungkook snickered, his small little bout of worry forgotten in an instant. “Not my fault you were zoning out, hyung. I thought you were...you were as drunk as...Jimin or something.”

“Jimin? Already?” Seokjin gaped. “It’s only 11, and he’s gone. As a member of our drinking trio I’m disappointed. I thought he could’ve held out,” His tone laced with exaggerated disbelief caused Jungkook to break out into laughter. “And you! Don’t tell me you’ve fallen, too!”

“No,” Jungkook said in the midst of his giggles. “N-no, I’m good Jin hyung. Just a little buzzed. But what about you? You practically ignored me when I sat in front of you!”

The older male opened his mouth, but both went still when a disruptive crash came from the direction of the second floor. They share a look, before Jungkook fidgeted with his hands, awkwardly left wondering if Seokjin would run upstairs to check what had been destroyed or stay there with him. The latter, although a bit of a childish hope, resounded in Jungkook’s fuzzy conscience.

Seokjin’s bold expression softened. “Ah, you better not be lying to me again. If I find you like Jimin by midnight, you don’t get to take selcas on my bed anymore!” He smirked, as if it was a finishing blow to whatever squabble they had.

Jungkook buried his face in his hands, chortling away. Of course Seokjin would come up with a rebuttal like that. It had always been a special language between them that even the other members bat a confused eye at. Fans find their bickering amusing as much as Jungkook himself did, and his chest felt light as he couldn’t stop laughing. “O-Okay, hyung. Whatever.” Some euphoric feeling got set off when he resurfaced, and saw Seokjin smiling right back at him. The sight was beautiful, Seokjin was, --if Jungkook ignored the messy table before them and the impending clamor that came from the second floor.

“Jiiiin hyungiiie!” Taehyung wailed, barely managing to land on the last step of their staircase before scrambling over beside Seokjin.

At that point, Namjoon and Hoseok halted their activities. They were slowly advancing to the distressed Taehyung, sipping their drinks nervously. Jimin was already in a deep sleep on the loveseat, unknowing to the chaos occuring around him. Jungkook noted that Yoongi was missing, assuming that he was upstairs in his room. After all, Taehyung had come down racing from the second floor--Yoongi was probably retreating in hopes of some silence from the rambunctious members in their shared living space.

“Look,” In Taehyung’s hand was a broken piece of what looked like a bowl. “Look!”

Sending him a look, Seokjin’s attention diverted from the youngest to the second-youngest. “What did you guys break--”

“It wasn’t me!” Taehyung bemoaned. “It was Yoongi-hyung! He came into my room with-with garbage in his arms and was asking if I had any--but I said no, and when he walked out he tripped on Yeontan’s bowl holders, breaking the bowl and spilling Yeontan’s water! Can you believe it?”

Seokjin sighed, running his hands over Taehyung’s mussed hair before cupping his face. “Where’s Yoongi?”

“Cleaning up the water…” Taehyung answered, his frantic episode dying down fairly fast. In a jerky movement, he embraced Seokjin, sobbing quietly.

“Jeez, you can’t be doing this, we have to be happy! 2018 is in less than an hour and you`re sad over a broken bowl?” Seokjin sighed, rubbing Taehyung’s back. “We can go get a new ceramic bowl in the new year, okay?”

Taehyung nodded, sniffling. Jungkook blinked. A drunk Taehyung was very easily persuaded, and emotional.

“I’ll...ah...I’ll go clean up the kitchen. Feel better, Tae.” Hoseok murmured. Namjoon hummed in agreement. Both of them disappearing.

Jungkook wrinkled his nose. Something about Taehyung hugging Seokjin against the coffee table and drooling all over his shirt made his alcohol-churning stomach even more unpleasant. He sighed, standing up and catching himself on the couch armrest before he collapsed under weak legs. “I’ll go use the washroom, freshen up. I’ll uh...see you guys before the countdown.”

Seokjin looked up, still embracing Taehyung, “Good idea,”

For some reason, Seokjin’s short reply set off an inkling of disappointment in the youngest. He’d indulged in imagining himself in Taehyung’s place. He’d hoped he could stay longer if Seokjin requested him to linger, maybe assist him with Taehyung because Jungkook was good. With that, Jungkook shuffled away, headache pounding away once again. He peeked his head in the kitchen and notified Namjoon and Hoseok about the washroom, before trudging upstairs.
Stupid, he thought, definitely feeling a pout forming. Stupid Jungkook getting jealous. As he walked down the corridor with the washroom, he paused at the first door on the right. He could hear Yoongi a couple doors down, dragging his feet around in Taehyung’s room--a wave of relief washed over Jungkook.

Whether it was the alcohol or his murky conscience that prompted him to open Seokjin and Yoongi’s bedroom door, Jungkook doesn’t know. But he allowed his footsteps to be dictated by instinct, and those led him inside the bedroom, with the door shutting quietly behind him. The room dim with a couple of Himalayan salt lamps propped on each of his hyung’s desks. He could feel their relaxing ambience on his frazzled self, and with that he silently thanked Yoongi for his wise choice in home decor. Their glass doors curtains were drawn all the way back, reflecting off Yoongi’s laptop and the bars of Seokjin’s sugar glider cage. Jungkook found himself squatting in front of the shelter, ignoring his achy legs from the back-to-back performances they all had.

“Hi, Odengie and Eomukie. Your dad is really interesting sometimes. He can be really funny and really annoying at the same time.” A beat of silence. “I really like him, and he likes me, I think. He likes everybody. He likes you two lots.”

The black haired male sighed. He really drunk-confessed to a pair of marsupials. Despite that, he blushed with every word, shy in front of the animals. Announcing his feelings made the entire dilemma more real. “I hope he fed you well so you can go into the new year with full tummies.”

Jungkook smiled when he saw the dark movement within the cage, before a tiny head popped out. The head moved, and then a tiny body was wriggling along the many toys that clung onto the cage walls. He already knew that the brave fellow he was interacting with was Odeng.

“Maybe I’ll just countdown to new year’s with you, Odengie.” Said sugar glider stared at him with its shining eyes. “The other guys were crazy today.”

As best he could in his drunken state, Jungkook stuck a finger in the cage, petting Odeng’s soft head. He was grateful for his constant visits to Seokjin’s room. The two sugar gliders had grown accustomed to his presence.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, Odeng’s head. The sugar glider must have gotten bored, as it squeaked a little before pulling away and crawling away to one of its toys. Jungkook let out a long exhale as he stood up again, finding interest in the glass door that had the dark sky and its stars proudly displayed. Screw it.

Jungkook caved into whatever came into mind--he cranked open the latch and slid the glass door open, a blast of chilly air hitting his face. Jungkook shuddered, head feeling heavier as he shrunk into his baggy hoodie. He continued, socked feet reaching the cold cement of the balcony.

Fresh air always helped Jungkook clear his mind, no matter how drunk or tired he was. He recalled the first time he went out for drinks after hitting legal age. He’d discovered his limits, and had gotten his dragged home by Seokjin and Jimin. It had been Seokjin who guided him to a chair that he’d generously propped up by a window in their living room, opening the glass all the way to allow the breeze to enter.

“This always helps me when I’m feeling a little like death,” Seokjin had said, with that witty tone of his, contrast to the comforting hand that his neck and brushed his hair back, bringing Jungkook back down to earth.

As the winter wind snuck its way under Jungkook’s sweater, he couldn’t help but ponder if Seokjin would come up for him the same way he did before. It was pathetic, his wishful thinking that he’d kept bottled up was all his mind thought about. Being the sensitive, shy self he was to his core, he couldn’t even find it in himself to blame it on the alcohol. A couple of years had passed and none of them came to light. Yet, he was alone. Jungkook had nobody except Odeng, Eomuk, and the night sky. If…

If things were to play out to his expectations, Seokjin would come up to see him. Just ten minutes before countdown. It would start with Seokjin closing the door behind him, with a small smile, and a soft “I knew I’d find you here. Mind if I join this one man party?” Or something witty like that. Both of them would engage in a little jabfest, some teasing remarks here and there as Seokjin walked to where Jungkook was on the balcony. He would say, “it’s cold, you can’t get sick” or even toss him a thin jacket to throw over his shivering form. Jungkook, always brushed his concerns off but took them to heart every time. And if that happened, he would do the same.

Jungkook pursed his lips, crossing his arms and watched as his breath steamed out to form pretty clouds that rose above him. He was embarrassed just with the prospect of Seokjin even seeing him that way--

If things were to play out to his expectations, Jungkook would be brave enough to start a talk about serious things, free the skeletons in his closet before the year came to a close. And knowing Seokjin, he’d listen. He doesn’t know how he would confess calmly without sounding like a frantic ball of nerves, but Seokjin would understand. Jungkook would express how his unexplainable feelings were tracing all back to Seokjin. Their bond, their memories and every day moments that would set his heart alight. Seokjin could laugh the entire thing off. Or, perhaps, Seokjin would feel the same. (oh, he hoped he felt the same) Perchance, their hands would find each other’s to warm in the chilly air.

A fiery flush warmed Jungkook’s face, and he suddenly couldn’t feel the cold that washed over him the moment he stepped outside.

Yes, the fear of rejection would leave him for good. Because things would be alright, with faces pressed together, beating hearts pressed against each other and whispered affections would pass between lips that brushed against each other, starting anew--

The blackness of the sky was ripped apart as tendrils of bright light shot into the air, sprouting into smaller petals of shimmering sparks. With that, an ear splitting crack rang through the air, and Jungkook felt his pounding temples react to the sensations of sight and sound. Another set of fireworks scattered to his right, while a couple more scattered the sky on his left. Different colors flashed in his eyes.

Perhaps, if Seokjin was there, the greens and the purples would have cast a flattering, unforgettable glow on his handsome face.

Somewhere behind him, either Odeng, Eomuk or both--started screeching angrily in reaction to the racket. Jungkook’s breath hitched.

It was 2018. He heard the boisterous cheers of joy from downstairs--hell, even from the streets several stories below. He’d missed the countdown completely, so caught up in the fantasies that his intoxicated conscience conjured for him. Jungkook felt his eyes water for some unknown reason--out of guilt, out of fear-- he easily wiped away the tears but more spilled down his cheeks. God, being drunk really did things to him. He attempted to smile to himself, finding a miniscule rise in his body which had been feeling like a slab of lead. Sorry hyungs. I lost track of time. At least Odeng and Eomuk are here, he chuckled at the consoling thought.

“I should go greet the hyungs.” Jungkook murmured, watching as a particularly large firecracker travelled high and exploded in a beautiful blue. He wondered if all of them had gathered while he was having his internal monologue in Seokjin and Yoongi’s room. Jimin might’ve been awake by the time the clock struck 12, he could imagine Hoseok, Yoongi and Namjoon clinking glasses with Seokjin, cheering. Even Taehyung would be on his feet, singing with them in joyous celebration, the amusing dog bowl conflict long past forgotten.

Before he even began walking to the door of Seokjin’s bedroom, someone beat him to opening it. Jungkook whirled around. There stood the owner of the room, and the whining sugar gliders. Light flooded in, casting him in a flattering backlight. Violet hues danced dully across his face, as another firework was released.

Thank you for a prosperous, successful year.

Jungkook mentally kicked himself for his wishful thinking. “Damn it, I swear I didn’t drink much.” He muttered under his breath. “I’m in’ seeing things.”

I hope I can grow much this year as well.

Seokjin strode forward, a gentle smile on his face. “I knew I’d find you here.”

In strength,

Jungkook steeled himself. Holy . So maybe he wasn’t seeing things. Despite his kid-like daydreams that he was shamelessly delving into moments earlier, the fact that Seokjin came up for him brought the weak melting sensation back to his heart.

“Happy New Year, hyung,” Jungkook said breathlessly. To his surprise, Odeng and Eomuk’s cries died down.

Seokjin hummed. “You too, Jungkookie.” Jungkook was sure he would have yelled his greeting if Eomuk and Odeng weren’t around.

“Huh, they stopped.” Seokjin chuckled, walking until he was a mere few inches away from Jungkook. “Good thing I came here.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook murmured, a little dizzy and a lot more adoring.

“Mind if I join you on this fine 2018?” Seokjin asked, a grin evident in his tone.

In happiness,

Jungkook beamed. “Of course.”

And in love.

thank you for reading, and i hope you all had a happy new year! feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts.