Sanha was used to the loud screams of anger from his parents, the loud crashes as his father smashed something in anger, or the quiet sobs of his mother through his wall at night as she contemplated killing herself. He was used to it, but after leaving home to become an idol, he was not used to his new family, his second family, getting angry at each other. It was like someone had taken his heart and ripped it out of his chest. His lungs ceased working and his brain short circuited.

Moonbin yelled loudly, nearly at the top of his lungs, his face flushed in his anger. Myungjun hyung was just as angry, standing to try and match Moonbin’s height. Dongmin, Jinwoo and Minhyuk were standing off to the side, trying to calm them down, and Sanha, stood staring with wide eyes, unable to control the cold fear that had consumed him. He should be used to this, he should be fine. If so, why did he feel so afraid? 

“Please stop.” Sanha said, his voice weak. He could feel the tendrils of his oncoming panic attack begin to take hold, so Sanha stood and hurried to the bathroom where he slammed the door shut. There, he sunk to the floor, his back against the bathtub and began to sob soundlessly. His hyungs took no notice, the fight continued, and Sanha just gently rocked himself. The pain that tore through him as he began to suffer through one of the worst panic attacks he had ever had was disabling. Sanha let out a loud sob and the living room seemed to become quieter. Though it must have been Sanha’s imagintation as once again Myungjun hyung and Binnie hyung began to yell, the sound loud in Sanha's ears, it was nearly deafening. Sanha rocked back and forth, over and over, until finally a knock at the door startled him. 
“Sanha…Sanha come out, you’ve been in there for a long time. MJ hyung and Binnie aren’t fighting anymore, they’ve sorted it out.” Sanha didn't move, he couldn't. His body was still shaking horribly, and he knew he must have looked absoltely awful. Jinwoo again knocked, this time more urgently.

"Sanha? Are you okay?" Sanha let out a choked sob as once more he burst into tears.

"Can I open this door? Sanha? Can I come in? So I can help you?" Sanha let out a feeble, 'yes' and the door was opened gently. Sanha ddn't look up from his position, refusing to make eye contact. Jinwoo closed the door behind him, and came to sit next to Sanha. He didn't say anything, just put an arm around the maknae and let him cry. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jinwoo asked gently once Sanha had calmed down, and Sanha thought for a moment, the reassuring weight of Jinwoo's arm around his shoulder made him decide he could tell s this, they could know. Sanha nodded, and Jinwoo gave a smile, standing.

"Let's tell the members, okay? Plus, you can see me give those two a stern talking to." Jinwoo joked, and Sanha gave a wet laugh, scrubbing his puffy eyes with his palms. He took Jinwoo's hand and was led into the living room where the rest of the members sat, waiting. Jinwoo and Sanha sat on the couch, facing the members who sat in a half circle facing them. Dongmin saw Sanha's swollen eyes and cooed, rubbing the tear tracks from off of his face. Sanha took a deep breath and looked at his hyungs. They sat expectantly, waiting for Sanha to speak.

"What...what do you want to know?" Sanha asked, his voice cracking. Moonbin was the first to ask.

"Can you tell us, why you acted the way you did? What happened in the bathroom?" Sanha nodded and looked at his hands, which Jinwoo took into his own, nodding reassuringly. 

"I had some issues with my family fighting, and I guess seeing you guys fight gave me an anxiety attack. I haven't had one in a long time though, and this one was really bad, I nearly threw up. I don't like when you guys fight." Sanha started tearing up again, and he felt Minhyuk get up and sit next to him, pulling him into a side hug, running comforting fingers through Sanha's hair. Moonbin and Myungjun started apologizing profusely, and Sanha waved them off.

"It's okay, hyungs. Just...don't do it again." Sanha trailed off and Dongmin clapped his hands together.

"Group hug, everyone, we need to show the maknae some love!" They all hugged, and later that night, when everyone was climbing into bed, he didn't mind when he felt someone climb into bed next to him and cuddle with him. He really loved s, and he knew withiout a doubt, they loved him too.