I wanted to apologize for those who anticipated a black twice velvet fic lol I am sorry because I don't have a storyline for it. Also this is a sequeal to a fic of mine. I promised a happy ending.
Chapter 1: After two years I read this again, I can't believe I've read this. It feels like I just read it today, but as soon as I read the contents. I remember a few sentences and funny conversations between characters.
Chapter 1: This comment is looooonnnggg overdue and sorry it took me this long to put it out but here it is... hehehe
First thing that I want to point out is that your writing had gotten better, like both structure and grammar wise. I did have to read the line, "How long she doesn't do that anymore?" A couple of times, I wonder if you're trying to say, "Why doesn't she do that anymore?" Or "How long has it been?" Or "when was the last time she did it?" Lol don't mind me, I'm just weird like that... o_0
I'm not the right person to do grammar and since I at it too, lol... But always read and reread your fics until you're satisfied.
Your vocabulary definitely improved, you are using more words to define the actions and the moment now. Lol keep on working on it to get it more and more better. hehe
People have different styles of writing and different genres that they are comfortable in writing, I like that you are exploring different genres from dark fics to light hearted fluffy ones. It is not easy to jump from one genre to the other, but I'm really glad to see that you're trying out different things. Always enjoy the process of writing, remember you do this for free. Do it because you enjoy it.
This fic just showed a different side of your writing, a calmer one that's in the lines of lighthearted and fluff. I like how you are describing not only their actions but especially what they're feeling, Wendy is back home thinking and missing Bae while Bae calls her and they talk real fluffy and stuff. Fluff has always been one of the trickiest genres to write along with crack because it's hard to gauge what people's idea of fluff is, with angst it's easier to rip people's heart out but not fluff, you have to be as descriptive and detail oriented when writing it. Moments like they stole a glance, or their fingers lingered longer, small details that really builds up the "kilig" factor. (Ask the Noypi girls about the kilig part) hehehe. When you write fluff, imagine putting your readers in that same scenario as your characters, like they are watching first hand the phone call etc... But even if this is supposedly "fluff" the message between the lines is there, that there are some thoughts in Wendy's mind and we talk about this before, how it's better to take this topic with trepidation because it's a very sensitive subject and not everyone is ready to read about this topic.
Also, when you're making conversation in your fic, put yourself in that situation, ask yourself do people talk like this? If not how could I adjust it to make it sound more realistic? Like when people read it, they'll go "yup, I imagine Wendy saying it or I imagine Irene saying it."
Sorry if this comment is all over the place lol. But I hope it kinda makes sense and sorta helps you out whenever you write fics. You know where to find me hehehe... although I reply late, I'll be here to always help you out.
Chapter 1: You know how I really adore your concepts, right? You just take it to the next level with this one. I really love this! Thank you so much for giving Wendy a happy ending and I also love the Irene here.
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