“There was once a young man who wished to gain his Heart’s Desire.” 
― Neil Gaiman, Stardust

I.

Woohyun has this one habit to always get home before Sunggyu. He wants to be the source of comfort for his boyfriend, knowing how much his master degree takes a toll on his life despite the interests of his subjects. Their kind of love is different, yet oddly simple at the same time.

It is called limerance. Thinking that their brain is in ‘love’. It is wonderful and intoxicating. The Song of Solomon is a wonderful description.

Woohyun is lucky because he’s doing what he loves, giving his entire commitment to dancing and vocal lesson while Sunggyu venture into a professional course. The brunette didn’t hate it thought the infinite complaint prove otherwise.

He may be deprived of eloquence, but his mind can never be a dumb.

So when he gets back from his usual dance practice to a sad Sunggyu sprawling on the floor, he makes a quick rewind about his boyfriend’s schedule, heart goes into a full-blown beat and squeezing it into a sorrow. At this rate, he’s sure that the heart rate can beat those athletes who suffered from cardiomegaly.

“Hey, love.” He removes his scarf and throws it onto the basket to take a seat beside his boyfriend. He pushes the brunette’s l
messy lock out of his face and comes in face to face with a crying Sunggyu.

His eye is swollen from the crying, nose red from the emotion, and lips trembling in a sadness. And Woohyun swears that he will kill those people who dare to hurt his angel.

“Hey, love, baby shhh—why are you crying?” Woohyun ask, panic and disoriented when he sees his boyfriend’s condition.

“He rejects my proposal again.” 

“Reject—honey, what proposal?”

“My thesis, Hyun. I spend a month for the title and I don’t know what else he needed to approve my proposal.” Sunggyu says. And Woohyun know how much the brunette had been dreading the even longer hours that comes with a full-blown proposal. He had been dreading them, too.

He glanced towards the door, rethinking his life decision to stay at the studios for an extra hour today and let his boyfriend drown in a misery, alone. “Maybe only a bit of an improvement… it’s really coming down this time…so don’t give up okay?” He gave him a sincere smile as he removed the winter coat and proceeds to lay beside Sunggyu, facing him, and his teary eyes. He leans in and plants a kiss on his jaw, then another on his neck.

Sunggyu smiled, closes his eyes, and whispers a bemused, “What in the world? Where are the confidences comes from?”

“Because It’s you. And I know you’re going to do well.” Woohyun extend his hand to wipes off the remaining tears on his face. The brunette has a small smile decorating his lips, cheeks dust in a pretty pink, making Woohyun’s lopsided smile to widen.

“Yeah?” Sunggyu breathes, eyes fixed on the raw expressions of Woohyun’s face, before finally lean to kiss the corner of Woohyun’s lips.

So lovely, so breathless.

He catches sight of Woohyun’s wrist next to his face, the strain of his muscle, and the swirl of blue veins under the skin that remind Sunggyu that as strong as Woohyun is, he has a delicate weakness in him too. 

Because Woohyun had been so aloof and distant and unsociable when they had first discovered their status, so hardened by the world already. But Sunggyu had been determined, and broken down the callous and apathetic walls surrounding Woohyun’s heart, rebuilding them with himself inside, pumping life back into Woohyun, and maybe Sunggyu’s sometimes stronger than Woohyun. 

Not physically stronger, but stronger at something else, at something Sunggyu can’t put a name too.

And that delicate weakness is something Sunggyu protects with his whole entire being, so he leans forward to press a soft kiss to the fragile skin on the inside of Woohyun’s wrist.

Woohyun stills for a second, beside him, and then tangles their hands together, next to Sunggyu’s face. “I love that you’re strong enough to stay with me, Hyun.”

It is one of Woohyun’s favorite of Sunggyu’s endearing expressions, but at this moment it strikes a small note of worry in his heart. Will this last forever? 

But then again, how long is forever?

Throughout his whole life, Sunggyu has been based on logic, how much he could explain something and had to make sense of everything. He analyzed and thought everything to death, and always knew exactly how and why he felt like he did.

Then logic, reasoning, practicality, all kind of flew out the window and has left Woohyun in the exact same place they just described. He hasn’t had the foggiest idea why he loves Sunggyu, or vice versa, so much, and why even at this moment the only thing he wants is to be with him (after all this time.)

There’s nothing logical about love. Feelings do not and will not make sense. The Raven thought himself in circles trying to figure it out, and still, the only thing he knows is that he loves him. No reason. No logic. But it’s there and it’s real and it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

So just let it go and love him.

There are logical reasons for it. Mostly chemical - right now he’s probably in the early stages - endorphins and hormones are causing him to feel all kinds of emotions - attraction, desire, lust, obsession, attachment, vulnerability, anger, jealousy, pride, possessiveness, etc. - Often all at once.

“And I love your soft touch too,” Sunggyu says, his cheeks become redder, making Woohyun’s curiosity peak up at its max. “It makes me feel like I’m precious or something…”

Woohyun silences for a while, and the tickling of the clock makes Sunggyu’s heart beating in a weird pattern. To him, time was like rain, glittering as it fell, changing the world, but something that could also be taken for granted. Until you loved someone. Then time became gold in a miser's hands, every bright year counted out carefully, infinitely precious, and each one slipping through your fingers.

“You are precious to me.”

Sunggyu didn’t hide his grin. He reaches forward to hug Woohyun and buried his face in the crook of Woohyun’s neck, inhaling his cologne. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. And Sunggyu can’t ask for more.

“Don’t let go of me, Hyun.”

“I would never, love.”

II.

It’s December.
 

December is in winter. One could expect low temperatures mostly high single digits and depend on where they are in Seoul, they could experience snow. Sometimes, autumn may still be there, providing the warm feelings straight to everyone’s heart. It’s not perfect, but it’s is lovely. It is something that Woohyun wants to spend his entire life with. Preferably, with Sunggyu. The love of his life, his soulmate.

It also rainy. But it is winter, what else would you expect?

“Hey, sunshine.” Woohyun reached out his hands to push Sunggyu’s hair out of his face to stare at the beauty of his brown eyes, something that Woohyun could never get enough. And along the way, through the movement, he manages to flash his tattoo for Sunggyu to see and the other just smile softly at the thoughts of his boyfriend staying up late and drowning in his thoughts.

“You’re awake.” He breaks the ice, gulping down every question that he had in favor of giving Woohyun some spaces, something that he has been doing a lot lately.

There is darkness inside all of them, though Woohyun’s is more dangerous than most. Still, they all have it—that part of their soul that is irreparably damaged by the very trials and tribulations of life. They are what they are because of it, or perhaps in spite of it. Some use it as a shield to hide behind, others as an excuse to do unconscionable things.

But, Woohyun, his sweet and kind Woohyun deserve all the loves from Sunggyu and that was something that the brunette didn’t dare to take for granted. There are fate and destiny, but there’s also hope and miracle. 

“Hmm, couldn’t sleep.” He sighed softly, and lean in at Sunggyu’s touch when he caressed the raven’s cheeks. “Did I disturb you, angel?”

“No,” comes Sunggyu’s quick and monotonous reply. He adjusts their positions so that they were staring at each other, body tangle lovingly, under the warm of their duvet to protect themselves from the cold outside. “You could never disturb me. In fact, I’m glad that I’m awake now. I want to spend more times with you.”

There are not enough words to describe the blooming feeling in Woohyun’s heart. He wants to be a mirror for Sunggyu to let him see what Woohyun see, to let him feels what Woohyun feels. He wants Sunggyu to be overwhelmed with his love and understand everything through his eyes.

So he does the unthinkable, he let Sunggyu move and under the moonlight radiating through their windows, he makes Sunggyu settles on top of him to kiss him deep, filthy, and full of love. When he intertwined their hands, he marvels at how he and Sunggyu fit together, like two puzzle pieces. 

“Angel,” Woohyun gasped, clearly out of breath from their kisses. “God, you’re beautiful. You’re everything.”

Before he had met Sunggyu, saying those words would have made him cringe, but right now, it seems perfect. Because yes, indeed. Sunggyu is his angel, his soulmate, his boyfriend, his everything.

He used to hate winter, as he was bored, restless, annoyed and above all, Cold. To his surprise, he found so many people saying that the weather is awesome and that they love it. This troubled him a lot because he couldn't find any sane reason that could make a person prefer very cold weather over sunny weather but as always, psychology came to the rescue and it helps him find out exactly why some people prefer winter and cold weather.

But he knows now. 

Woohyun rolled his eyes at the pleasure of having Sunggyu kissing his face, and nibbling on his jaw before moving downwards to his Adam’s apple, his soft spot, gaining a soft moan from the raven, “I love you, Gyu, so much that I—”

“I love you too, Hyun. I love you so much.” He said in a single breath, panting into Woohyun’s side. “Stop thinking okay? I’m here because I want to.”

Woohyun nodded, hands rubbing the brunette’s spine to kick the cold out of their systems. “I know, and I promise you that I won’t shut myself again.”

The answer is probably enough for Sunggyu, as he smiles lovingly at his boyfriend, kissing him one single time before moving back to his side of the bed to sleep, earning a growl from Woohyun at the loss of warm before Sunggyu hugged him again. “You’re such a baby. What would you do without me?”

“You know the answer, Gyu.”

Woohyun can openly admit that he’s sometimes a little selfish, impatient and a whole lot of insecure. He makes mistakes, he’s out of control and at times hard to handle. But if one can handle him at his worst, then he’s sure as hell deserve the entire kingdom that Woohyun’s willing to give.

Love brings up emotions that run the gamut from agony to ecstasy. Love can inspire someone to accomplish some of the craziest and most amazing feats. Love can make you happier than you've ever been, sadder than you've ever been, angrier than you've ever been. It can relate you and deflate you almost at the same time. 

While they can pretty much recognize the emotions associated with love, actually finding the words to explain those feelings is a pretty tough order.

“You never did tell me why you were awake tough,” Sunggyu asked Woohyun, once there’s a comfortable silence dancing around their surroundings. It’s something that the both of them always cherish on; a peculiar feeling in the middle of winter –warm but cold, cold but comfortable, comfortable and lovely— as they were in love, always.

Sunggyu settles his hands on top of his boyfriend’s beating heart. There’s a two set of heartbeat echoed through space, and it’s somewhat comforting. 

Woohyun remains silent, which cause Sunggyu to make a murmuring sound against his cheeks, softly promoting him to answer his questions.

“It’s silly, really.” The raven answer, hesitantly.

“But, it’s not.” Sunggyu reassurance, willing to give the sun and the moon if Woohyun ever asked it.

“I was thinking.” Woohyun says, as he relaxes against Sunggyu’s embraces. “And I got worried.”

“About?”

“Losing you.” Woohyun admit, a slight tone of anxiousness present, masked with a barely-there patience. And Sunggyu, like knowing the answer beforehand, tighten his hold on his boyfriend.

“I have an amazing boyfriend and soulmate right here. You don’t have to worry Hyun. Our love is eternal, forever.”

And the fact that Sunggyu uses ‘ours’ instead of ‘my’ is something that touches Woohyun from within his heart. because then he knows that Sunggyu believes in their relationship and is willing to contribute more, he knows and acknowledge Woohyun’s love for him, knows that nothing could beat them, not even a judgemental head could bring them down.

Sunggyu leans down, to place a chaste kiss on Woohyun’s lips, his arms wrapped around the raven’s neck, holding him tenderly, as Woohyun kisses him back. Slowly, and tenderly, as if to cherish the moment forever.

“I know, Gyu. And I can’t be happier.” Woohyun says trough the parted lips, feeling overwhelmed, as he tried to restrain himself from the breaths out of the brunette.

“Happy?” Sunggyu echoes, voice quiet, as he repeats the raven’s words.

Woohyun nodded and hums while leaving a touch of barely-there kiss on the corner of Sunggyu’s lips.

“And content.” Woohyun’s swallows, and his hand's tights to the brunette’s back.

“Anything else?” Sunggyu asks voice pitched low, breathless.

He’s content, which is a blessing greater than riches; and he to whom that is given need ask no more. Not now, when he finally has the love he truly wants from the beginning. So when Sunggyu asks for more, he can’t specifically describe the answer because one could only feel so much until they break down. 

There are as many answers to the question "What is love?" as there are people on earth. Everyone knows what love is, toddlers know what love is; teens, adults and old people know what love is. Hell, even animals know what love is, and scientists will probably find a way to prove that plants can love too in the not-too-distant future. 

But knowing that you're feeling something and being able to put it into words are two different things entirely. He probably needs an esteem writers and faithful best friend to help him describe the feelings that have been blooming in his heart.

But it’s probably something that’s close to Peace of mind, warmth, and calmness. No need to rush somewhere.

He can hear the sounds of crickets in the deepest of the night, fluttering through the gap in their window, when they are only a breath of distances between them. A mounting static. The hum of a seashell. Otherwise, the night is dreadfully silent: no engines, no angry neighbor, and no clatters. Just a soft sound of life surrounding their comfort zone.

And it’s beautiful.

Still night. Still early.

“Overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed?” Sunggyu asks. “In a good way, I guess?”

But who is there to answer otherwise.

“I have never felt this content until you, Sunggyu. And it will always be in a good way. You’re good to me.”

Sunggyu giggled, knowing the truth –which the wait had everything to do with Woohyun’s romantic, respectful ways. Aside from the high stake of their relationship with their family, Woohyun cared about him enough to wants to do things right rather than rush into beds after one too many drinks back in their high school years, the methodology is the most important.

But how right can it be, when you’re born as The Veiled?

And although some might have criticized Sunggyu’s choice of future, he wouldn’t change a thing about it. And still wouldn’t. Which make the rare sleepy talk an even nicer surprise tonight.

“Hmm,” Sunggyu replied in a murmur. “Let’s go back to sleep. Sungyeol and Myungsoo won’t be too pleased if we late again for the gathering.”

“Last time is not my fault.”

“You seduces my innocent and temp me to sleep with you. So, technically handsome, you’re one at fault.”

“I know. I can’t resist you, angel.”

“Stop making me blush, Woohyun.”

“It’s almost four years, Gyu. Why are you still shy around me?”

Sunggyu’s stare is intense, and Woohyun, throughout their relationship, still unable to decipher the emotion in Sunggyu’s face right now. There are silences, and he can hear two sets of hearts beating. It’s comforting.  

“Because I love you, Woohyun. And hearing you call me angel always leave me breathless.”

“I know. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you for staying when everyone else don’t.”

It’s December. And they’re falling in love, again and again.