Baekhyun could feel the cold winter coming when he shut the door behind him as he left the big house in the centre of Seoul. A few clear snowflakes glided through the air, landed on his shoulder and eventually melted due to the warmth of his coat. He took a deep breath in - inhaling the winter atmosphere. With an excited expression on his face he walked down the streets. In every shop he could see the little christmas trees and small Santa Clauses. Everywhere were fly-pitchers selling bisquits and other baked goods. The whole street was smelling like a bakery. But Baekhyun liked it. He liked the smell of the festive holiday. It reminded him of his precious boyfriend who he was about to get some presents for. 

As he was reminded of the reason he actually left the house the young man fished a small note out of his pocket and unfolded it.

latest Harry-Potter book, big teddy bear, roses

Baekhyun repeated the few things a couple times in his mind before putting the note away again. He had already bought presents for every single family member one week ago but he knew better than doing the same thing with the presents for his boyfriends. Chanyeol would search literally everywhere and not rest a single bit before he had found all of his presents, checked what it was three times and the act like he didn't know anything. Sadly the giant was an absolutely terrible actor and was caught pretty fast. Baekhyun chuckled a bit when he thought about the time he bought Chanyeol birthday presents and the boxes fell out of the cupboard because they weren't put back in properly after being taken out right when he confronted his partner about looking for his presents again.The adorable expression of shame on Chanyeol's face was definitely something he would never forget.

When finally lifted his head after being stuck in his thought for roughly ten minutes he saw that he arrived at his first stop of his late shopping trip. The bell gave a high ring as Baekhyun entered the cozy store. The lights were dimmed and a scented candle absorbed a sweet smell of vanilla and cinnamon. Huge shelves were filled with tons of book sorted into different categories. Kids, Teens, Adults, Historical, ... ,,Excuse me, can I help you, sir?" Bakehyun turned around to meet the warm brown eyes of an old woman smiling at him nicely. She was wearing a bordeaux-coloured dress and her grey was lying on her head messily. ,,That'd be great! I'm looking for the latest Harry-Potter book. Do you have it here?" The woman laughed a little. ,,You're really lucky, young man. We have a last exemplary in the shelves in the back.", she told him as she walked down the small asile through the book store demanding him to follow her, ,,Who are you buying it for? Little brother, sister? Cousin?" ,,Boyfriend", Baekhyun replied proudly. He used to be heavily ashamed of the fact that he was in a relationship with another man but after the time went by he grew more and more comfortable. Of course, Chanyeol also had been a big help and a huge part of this process. The old lady smiled and took the book out. ,,Here you go. Good luck for you and your boyfriend" Happily Baekhyun grabbed the book and instead of it placed some money in the woman's hands. ,,Thank you. Goodbye and a happy Christmas Eve!", he shouted while stepping out of the shop. One present was already bought.

 

While the cold began surroundings him more and more Baekhyun made his way throught the crowds with the mall as his next target. Chanyeol had always talked about how he wanted a big plushy so it seemed kinda like his duty to him to fulfil his boyfriend's wish. 

,,Look, baby! That's what I've always wanted." With sparkling eyes Chanyeol pointed at the beautifully decorated window of the mall. A big teddy bear with round eyes and a red scarf around neck looked at the couple inncoently. Baekhyun smiled at sight of his oh-so-dominant boyfriend acting like a little child seeing candy for the first time. 

The warm air surrounded him as he entered the big building. People were hurrying here and there, stressed about getting the last christmas presents. Little children were begging their mothers to take them to the toys shop although they already had the perfume store as theirnext target. Some young girls were talking to their boyfriends about clothes they wanted to get and again another part of girls were sipping on their hot coffee complaining about the high prizes. Over all the mall was an even busier place than usually on the afternoon of christmas. But Baekhyun wasn't one one the people that just walked around, looking for the cheapest thing they could get for their family - No, he knew exactly what he wanted. Luckily there weren't many people in the store. After checking if he saw anyone he knew, he began searching for the teddy he wanted. ,,Sir, can I help you?", a sweet voice asked him. Baekhyun lifted his head and looked into the blue eyes of a blonde man. ,,Ah, yes, please. I'm looking for a teddy bear. About this size" He demonstrated the important factor of the present by opening his arms as wide as he could. The other man laughed. ,,A greedy little sister I guess? Wait here, we have one in stock. Just a second" And as fast as he was there he rushed away to get the present. Baekhyun was satisfied. He only needed to get one more thing for his boyfriend and then he could go home. ,,Here you go", the man handed the large plushy over. ,,That'd make 50 000 ₩" Baekhyun fished the money out of his wallet and put it on the counter. ,,Thanks. And happy holidays", he replied and walked out of the store. His last stop before taking the train home was the flower shop of his mother.

 

 

,,Mom! Mom, are you here?", the young man called out in the empty looking store. Luckily he didn't have to walk for that long as his mother's shop was near the mall. ,,Baekhyunnie!", a female voice shouted from behind the counter. ,,Baekhyun!", his mother hurried towards him and wrapped her arms around her son, pulling him into a hug. ,,How are you? What are doing? Why are you here?", she drowned him in questions. Her son laughed. ,,Slow, mother. I'm doing just fine." She eyed him critically. ,,It's only been a year and-" ,,I'm doing fine", Baekhyun cut her off. Embarrassed about replying in a disrespectful way he cleared his throat. ,,I need roses. Red ones. The ones Chanyeol loves so much. Do you have some?" He asked softly. His mother smiled at him, still a little worried. ,,Are you sure you-" ,,Mother, please", her son begged, ,,Chanyeol loves them. I need to get him a couple. It's christmas." She sighed and surrendered. ,,Here you go", she handed him a bouquet, ,,I knew you would come" He smiled and took the red flowers. ,,Thank you" ,,Are you sure you don't want to come home for christmas?", she asked him as he was about to leave. Baekhyun nodded. ,,I need to spend Christmas with Channie. It's his holiday, you know?" The mother gave her son a broken smile. ,,Okay", she whispered. ,,Have nice holidays", Baekhyun shouted before closing the door behind him. 

The fluttering snow landed on his brown hair as soon as he put ine foot on the street. His last stop would be home. Home before he could leave and go to see his Channir again.

The snow fell off his shoulders when Baekhyun entered the warm hallway. The familiar smell of christmas tree and and cinnamon welcomed him friendly. Chanyeol smelled like cinnamon, he thought. But only when christmas was near. When the holdidays were near for some reason Chanyeol always smelled like cinnamon. Baekhyun smiled softly. Oh, how he missed that sweet smell. He put his still covered-in-snow coat in the wardrobe and walked into the bedroom. The whole room suddenly looked so big to him. The high walls and the huge furniture made him seem smaller than he already was. No, he didn't just feel small - he felt lonely. Small and lonely. He began to feel a little uncomfortable but when he turned around to hide in his lover's arms the only thing he was facing was Van Gogh's painting. His head sank down and he felt worse than ever. Christmas was a wonderful holiday to bring families together but for Baekhyun it was anything but wonderful at the moment. He missed his boyfriend so much it actually hurt already. His heart was aching more than ever and, still, he had to wait almost an hour to meet Chanyeol.

He sighed a little and then went over to open the closet doors. Just like he always did it when he did any of the housework he took out a certain piece of clothing. It was a short, (it didn't even reach the middle of his thighs) heavily decorated black-and-white dress - a maid's dress. He still remembered the moment when Chanyeol first saw him wearing it..

Baekhyun carefully the southern part of the dress. It felt soft and warm in his fingers. The material nestled up to his milky skin. The black stocking stood in a strong contrast with his pale legs. Over all he liked the outfit. It was.. pretty. He felt pretty. Like a princess, he thought and giggled a little. But the longer he looked at himself other thoughts started to cross hus mind. What would Chanyeol think? He'd find it weird. He'd make fun of him and call him names. Because it was weird. It was weird that Baekhyun even considered wearing a dress. Slowly the small boy sank his head. Boys don't wear dresses, he whispered to himself. Dresses are for girls, he repeated and walked away from the mirror. He wanted to go back into his room when he heard a Clack! at the front door. ,,Baby, I'm home", his boyfriend shouted happily. Baekhyun began panicking. He must not see him like this! He didn't want Chanyeol to see him like this. ,,O-Okay", the young man responded hastily. Now he just had to find his jeans. Where on earth did he put them?! His breathing got faster and faster and his heart pumped way too load. ,,Baby, are you un here?", Chanyeol asked from outside, coming nearer to the door. ,,Y-Yes, but DON'T COME IN! PLEASE!", Baekhyun replied panicky. But it was already too late. Chanyeol had already opened. ,,Why should I not- Oh.", the man looked at his boyfriend suprised. ,,Don't- please don't look at me, Yeol" Baekhyun averted his eyes in shame. A few moments of silence had passed when Chanyeol finally opened his mouth. ,,Oh Baekkie..", he whispered softly and walked towards his lover, ,,Was that why you didn't want me to come in?" Baekhyun just put his head down even futher when Chanyeol came nearer. Suddenly he felt a pair of fingers around his chin, pushing his head. ,,Was that why you didn't want me to come in?", he repeated the question. Baekhyun nodded and again felt his head turning red. He wanted to put his head down but Chanyeol forced him to look at him. But somehow he didn't look angry, Baekhyun thought as he looked into his lover's eyes. ,,You're beautiful, Baekkie", Chanyeol whispered. His boyfriend's eyes widened. What did he just say? ,,You look so beautiful, baby", Chanyeol whispered again and kissed his forehead softly. ,,You-You don't think it's weird?", Baekhyun asked shyly. His lover chuckled. ,,No. Not at all" A small smile crept on Baekhyun's face. Suddenly his chest felt lighter than ever before. ,,My pretty boy", Chanyeol mumbled as he put his arms around Baekhyun's waist...

Since then Baekhyun had never felt weird wearing a dress again. When Chanyeol thought it was pretty then he didn't need anyone's opinion. Wearing dress, stockings and heels Baekhyun walked out of the room. In the kitchen he opened the fridge to took the cold pastry out. The formed cookie with the chocolate chips almost greated him. Satisfied with his work he put the tablet into the oven where it had to bake for about twenty minutes. Chanyeol would love them, he thought to himself. Chocolate chip flavoured ones were his favourites. Unsure what to do now he walked into the living room. Followed by the Click! Clack! of the heels he began tidying up a bit. He put a couple decorations that fell to the ground up again and cleared the space underneath the christmas tree. As he opened the large cupboard to take the small Santa Claus out, a piece of paper fell out. Curiously he put down the statue and kneeled down to get the picture. He felt tears coming out of his eyes when he recognised it. It was one of the first polaroid photos he and Chanyeol had ever taken together. 

Almost Christmas

it said. In the left corner the small numbers 23.12.2016 could be seen. A single tear rolled down Baekhyun's cheek as he looked at it a bit longer. It was him and Chanyeol outside in the forest. Behind them a large part of ice could be seen. It was the day where they had gone ice-skating together...

,,Channie, I swear to god if you let go of me I will kill you, your children and your grandchildren", Baekhyun threatend his boyfriend, not really looking frightening next to the tall giant. Chanyeol just laughed. ,,Of course, I won't. I will always hold you. I will never let go. You know that" Baekhyun smiled at the cheesiness of his boyfriend. ,,Come on, give me your hand, Baekkie" Not really convinced Baekhyun grabbed the hand of his boyfriend tight and slowly put his feet on the ice. ,,And now one foot after another. Just like Inline-skating", Chanyeol advised him. Although he was still insecure he did what he was told. But before he even had the chance to fall down a pair of hands gribbed his waist and lifted him up. Once again Chanyeol's actions caused him to giggle. But still - he quickly put his legs around the other boy's body. Said boy put another kiss on his frozen lips and made Baekhyun turn red even in the cold. ,,Let go of me, Channie", Baekhyun mumbled in the kiss. ,,Never", his lover smiled. The fluttering snow and the silence of the forest that surrounded the couple on the ice almost made it fairytale moment...

The high-pitched ringing of the clock on the oven let Baekhyun rise from the ground wipe his tears. He quickly hurried into the kitchen to put the cookied out to cool down a little. Chanyeol had always liked them the most. He would eat vanilla flavoured ones, chocolate chip flavoured ones and even cinnamon flavoured ones. He had prefered them over every single christmas cake and he had always been ready to fight anyone who complained about the cookies even a small bit. A little smile crept on Baekhyun's face again. Just the thought of his boyfriend ranting over how ty and tasteless other baked goods where compared to the cookies made him feel warm inside. As he sighed again at the loss of the good feeling he looked over at the clock only to get a shock. He had to meet Chanyeol in just twenty minutes! In high-speed he rushed into his bedroom to take of the maid costume along with the stockings - but not without folding them neatly and putting them back into the closet. The pair of high heels was carefully placed next to the king-sized bed. Baekhyun looked around feeling somewhat proud. If Chanyeol was here with him right now he probably would've praised his little baby for how neat and careful he was with the clothes that were so precious to him.

,,That's the Baekhyun I love. Such a good boy, always making me proud", Chanyeol purred into his ear - wrapping his big arms around Baekhyun's petite body, pushing his lover closer to him, ,,Baby is definitely going to get a reward later, isn't he?" Baekhyun nodded and hid a smile. Of course, he was a good boy. Of course, he wanted to make Chanyeol proud, he thought to himself and sank down in his lover's arms.

Baekhyun certainly missed those situations sometimes. Especially nowadays, when the holiday season started and everyone spent their time with their significant other. Quickly he put on his jeans and changed into the black coat hanging in the wardrobe. Determined he went into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of velvet. Again being the most careful he could be, he wrapped around the still hot cookies. Chanyeol would love those. Pleased he opened the drawer next to the oven and took a white ribbon out of it. He put it on the packed cookies and smiled to himself. Neat and simple. Just how Chanyeol liked it. But with another look at the clock the pleasant feeling went away just as fast as it came. If Baekhyun didn't leave the house in the next thirty seconds he would miss his boyfriend. Panicky he ran into the living room to take the roses because - well, he couldn't leave without them. They were Chanyeol's favourites. Fast he hurried towards the door and luckily left the builing just in time.

 

While the knot in his stomach was growing bigger and bigger Baekhyun left the crowded street to turn into a small path that ended at an old metal gate. When he pushed it open it released an unpleasant noise that would've made everyone cringe inside but right now Baekhyun couldn't even pay attention to that. His loved boyfriend was everything that was on his mind. As the followed the path through the huge trees and small bushes he eventually arrived at a cathedral after which he turned left again. There he was. His Chanyeol. His everything. Baekhyun's steps got faster and faster until he was alreadt running to meet his love.

With a small smile on his lips Baekhyun sank down to the ground, looking even smaller next to the big stone he was facing.

,,Look, baby, I brought you roses. I know they're your favourites. And I even have some festive biscuits for you. The cookies you loved so much" 

Softly he put the piece of velvet that held the warm baked goods down next to the burning candle. The roses were lying right next it. With a single tear rolling down his rosy cheeks Baekhyun looked at the picture of his boyfriend on the stone. His hair was messy and his big ears were red like tomatoes but to the crying boy kneeling on the ground he was still the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Said boy lifted his hand and carefully the cheeks of the smiling young man in the photo. With his heart aching painfully he stared at the silver words that were beautifully carved into the stone:

 

Park Chanyeol

born 27.11.1993

died 24.12.2016

A star that shined so brightly in my life - now a star of the sky. The love of my life.