Hyunwoo silently stares at his own reflection in the mirror of the practice room, fatigue seeping into his limbs. He’s vaguely aware of Jooheon’s persistent stare on his broad back, but he doesn’t look away. He merely runs through the choreography once more, biting doubtfully on his bottom lip as he approaches the troubling bit.

He messes up yet again, going completely off-beat as uncertainty overtakes his mind. He groans in defeat and sits on the floor for a short break. He can feel Jooheon still watching him, but neither say a word.

They’d been in this room for countless hours now, with Hyunwoo endlessly struggling to nail down a particular move. It isn’t even for an official choreography, it’s just something he has to do to prove to himself he’s still got what it takes. Though, such a notion is completely absurd to Jooheon, but there’s no telling the older that when he’s decided to do something.

Jooheon can see the sorrowful look in Hyunwoo’s eyes, the self-pity that’s entering his soul through his slumping shoulders, and he stands, having finally reached his breaking point.

“Hyung,” he says, walking over and resting a hand on the older’s shoulder. “You’ve gotta give yourself a break. You’re wearing yourself out.” Hyunwoo doesn’t respond aside from the slightest lean to be even closer to his dongsaeng. Jooheon drops to his knees behind the sweating man, and hugs him as tightly as he can.

“You’re worth more than you give yourself credit for,” Jooheon mumbles, pausing before adding, “I hope one day you believe me…”

Hyunwoo sighs heavily, reclining his head against the man’s shoulder as his eyes fall shut, his heart nearly bursting with gratitude for the younger. He honestly doesn’t know sometimes what he’d do without him.

 

The next day, Jooheon is at Hoseok’s studio working with him on a couple of new songs. Things seem to be going pretty well, as they’ve just finished remaking the bridge, when the rapper notices something off with his hyung. He watches the strained way Hoseok’s eyes watch the cursor on the screen, remain glued on the progress bar of the track itself… Jooheon can’t help but purse his lips, scooting his chair to be closer to the man.

“It’s coming along great,” Jooheon pipes up suddenly, resting a hand on Hoseok’s knee. The touch causes the older to jolt ever so slightly. Hoseok glances over towards the glass door. It’s got a frosted-over sort of design, so it isn’t as if anyone could see in… but, they’re still at the company building, after all. Hoseok bites questioningly on his lower lip, his own self-doubts filling him. He looks back at the computer screen but remains still, though his eyes begin to water at the corners.

“Hyung? Hyung, what’s wrong?” Jooheon asks gently, moving even closer than before. Hoseok bites even harder on his lip, and Jooheon worries for a moment that he may end up drawing blood.

“Thorry, Heonney,” he mutters, seeming embarrassed for whatever reason. He turns away for a moment to retrieve a tissue from the far corner of his desk, and the younger is left confused. He’s seen Hoseok cry plenty of times before, so why is he apologizing now? He tightens his grip on the older’s leg, as if prompting him for an explanation. Hoseok breathes in deeply, trying to somehow fight off the tears, but both men know it won’t work.

“I… I’m jutht tho t-tired…” Hoseok stutters out, his emotions getting the better of his lisp. Tears fall more quickly now, and he whirls about in his swivel chair to hide his face in the younger’s lap. “I’ve been working on so m-many things for days now, and I can’t even think of why anymore! It isn’t l-like the c-company will ever use these songs! I’m n-never g-gonna be allowed to produthe for an-n-nother group!!!”

Jooheon chews on his cheek, his hands instinctively petting at the older man’s purple locks. He looks up to the ceiling, just letting Hoseok cry out all his frustrations for a moment.

It’s an issue that’s come up before, but Jooheon could’ve sworn Hoseok was over it by now. He works so hard, has been at this for so long, that sometimes Hoseok wonders if he’ll ever be able to achieve his dream. Jooheon just knows he will, as he’s assured him before, but the emotional hyung can get quite downtrodden when the company keeps him in one place for too long.

He lets Hoseok cry and cry until his shoulders stop shaking and his breathing comes out more evenly before saying anything. And, when the older finally does recollect some semblance of composure, Jooheon knows just the thing to bring a smile to his face.

“Wanna get some ramyeon, hyung~?”

Hoseok sniffles, the smallest of grins lighting up his tear-streaked visage, and he nods adamantly. Jooheon chuckles knowingly, and nods himself before standing. Hoseok hastily wipes at his face and sniffs up whatever tears are left threatening to flow as he takes Jooheon’s offered hand and follows him out of the studio.

 

“Anything you need, Minhyuk-ssi?” Kihyun asks kindly, watching as his same-age friend overly-dramatically writhes in pain on his bunk. He’d claimed a bout of nausea earlier, but Kihyun had disregarded as the other had described it as him being ‘about to puke my guts up’. Now, it seems, he should’ve listened to him.

Minhyuk pouts up at him sleepily, his face barely visible through the mountain of fluffy blankets on his bed.

“… It feels so distant when you call me that…” he mumbles sadly. He then turns away, grumbling out a small, “Just give me Heonney.” Kihyun purses his lips confusedly for a moment, unsure why the man would only want honey, before he realizes what he means… or, rather, who he means.

He nods in understanding, and leaves the room, already on a hunt for the rapper.

“Jooheonney!” Kihyun calls out, glancing around the dorm. The man in question pops his head out of the nearest bathroom, bits of shaving cream littering his face and a questioning light in his small eyes. Kihyun merely nods towards their shared bedroom while saying, “Just try not to catch whatever Minhyuk-ah has, okay? He wants you to cuddle with him. Get him anything he needs, I’m going to the store to get medicine.”

Jooheon nods dutifully and pauses only a moment to wipe the remaining cream off his face before leaving the bathroom and dutifully shuffling off. He’d only just gotten back picking up Hoseok’s spirits, but now, it seems, he’ll be spending his evening taking care of yet another one of his boyfriends.

Not that he particularly minds, granted. He’d much rather take care of his hyungs than play a video game any day.

He enters the room after giving a small knock, and opens the door to find Minhyuk pouting over at him with the most pitiful expression he’s ever seen. He can’t help but chuckle ever so slightly before complying. Jooheon lies down next to his most boisterous hyung, and opens his arms for Minhyuk to slip into. The older quickly accepts the invitation, sliding forward and wrapping his own arms around the rapper’s waist as his thin frame is encircled in warmth.

“Ahhhh,” Minhyuk sighs contentedly, his voice nothing more than a mere whisper. “My sweet Heonney… Thank you for taking care for me in my time of need~” Jooheon chuckles under his breath, carding his fingers through the older’s hair.

“Anytime, hyung,” he replies.

Soon enough, Minhyuk is already asleep, but Jooheon stays where he is for the time being. It’s his first time to have a moment to breathe and relax for the past couple weeks… and it couldn’t be any more relaxing to have one of his boyfriends in his arms in this moment.

 

Kihyun returns to the dorm as quickly as he can, knowing he ought to have medicine in Minhyuk’s system as soon as possible. However, once he does manage to get to their room, he finds his sick bandmate already asleep, passed out and curled up in Jooheon’s arms. He sighs in half-exasperation, half-adoration, as he takes in the heartwarming sight. The sound draws Jooheon’s attention to him, and earns a fond smile.

The vocalist nods towards the hall, and Jooheon nods in understanding. He disentangles himself from Minhyuk’s surprisingly strong hold, and follows Kihyun from the room, softly closing the door behind him to give Minhyuk utmost privacy.

Both men walk silently to the living room, and Kihyun sits down on the black sectional with a tired sigh. Jooheon sits beside him, scooting as close as possible. He hugs Kihyun round the middle and rests his head on the older man’s shoulder, pouting a little in concern at the obvious tension in his body.

“We can’t afford to have anyone getting sick right now,” Kihyun mumbles, his small form remaining rigid in Jooheon’s hold. “We especially can’t afford some epidemic sweeping through the dorm… You and Kkungie should sleep in the other room tonight. I’ll stay in our room with Minhyuk-ah to help him through the worst of this.”

“We don’t want you getting sick, either, hyung,” Jooheon comments. His hands slide up Kihyun’s sides, and rest on his shoulders. He slowly begins kneading at the man’s tense muscles, watching for the signs that older is finally relaxing. “I should stay with him, since I’ve already spent the most time with him in his condition. So, I’m already done for if it’s contagious. You sleep with Hyunwoo-hyung in his bunk, and Kkungie can bunk with Hoseok-hyung. I’ll be fine in our room.”

Kihyun’s eyes flutter shut in the prettiest of ways, his eyelashes brushing over his pale skin, as he slowly but surely unwinds under the younger’s touch.

“I can’t ask you to do that, dongsaeng,” Kihyun chuckles, though his want to take the younger up on his offer is apparent in his tone. Jooheon chuckles knowingly, pausing in his makeshift massage to give the older a small peck on the cheek.

“It’s already decided, hyung,” he tells him, leaving no room for argument. “You’re exhausted enough as is. Just leave it to me.” Kihyun laughs under his breath, his eyes opening to stare lovingly at the rapper beside him. He sets a hand on Jooheon’s thigh to give him a grateful squeeze, and finally concedes in a small nod.

“I’ll go cook dinner, at least,” Kihyun tells him, pulling away. Jooheon immediately bounces up, aiming to help. Kihyun notes his eagerness to cook with him, and doesn’t have the heart to turn him down, despite it being a simple kimchi stew. So, he merely takes Jooheon’s hand in his, and they walk to the kitchen.

 

Three days later, Minhyuk has gotten over his stomach bug with the miraculous help of the main rapper, and he’s returned to full strength. So, Jooheon finds himself onset for a photoshoot. He’s there to offer Hyungwon some moral support as the older coolly stares off into the distance amongst flashing lights and clicking cameras.

Honestly, the sight is enough to take Jooheon’s breath away. A feeling that worsens, admittedly, when Hyungwon vacantly stares at him throughout the shoot.

The modelesque older bows to the photographer suddenly, the motion pulling Jooheon out of his daze, and walks towards the rapper. Jooheon gives him a bright smile, but its only met with a defeated sort of sigh, and the younger’s immediately concerned. He follows the taller into the makeshift dressing room, and sits on the creaky stool beside his styling chair the makeup artists typically use.

“I’m starting to wonder what the point is,” Hyungwon admits before Jooheon even has to ask. He reclines his head against the chair and closes his eyes against the harsh lighting, his plump lips contorting in a frown. “I’m not an idol, not really. I’m not that great of a singer, which is why Starship doesn’t give me more lines… I should’ve just stayed a model back in the old days…”

“Where’s this coming from?” Jooheon asks confusedly, his brow creasing in dismay. Hyungwon’s usually so sure of himself, of his place in the group, that his words are a bit of a shock to the younger.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot lately,” his hyung replies vaguely. Jooheon purses his lips, shaking his head adamantly before he even speaks.

“Wonnie-hyung, you belong with us,” he begins, his voice practically dripping with sincerity. “This group wouldn’t be the same without you. You’re talented, way more talented than you obviously think, and much more than just a pretty face.” Hyungwon chuckles lightly, and reaches over blindly to grasp onto one of Jooheon’s hands. He squeezes it ever so slightly, as if in silent gratitude.

“You’re so cute when you’re defiant, Jooheonney,” he breathes out, earning a ‘hmmph’ of protest from the younger. Though, he can’t help but smile, glad to see the obvious shift in Hyungwon’s thoughts.

He just hopes the older will remember what he’s said.

 

After separating from Hyungwon at the end of the shoot, Jooheon decides to make his way to Changkyun’s studio. The maknae’s been working diligently on some new tracks, and he’d asked for the older to come by when he got a chance to give his opinion. Jooheon absolutely loves that the younger cherishes his feedback so much, even though he’s sure Changkyun’s stuff is more than enough for what the company’s asked for.

The walk is short, thankfully, from the photoshoot location, and soon enough Jooheon is knocking on Changkyun’s door. The maknae excitedly pulls him in, and only a moment later he’s sitting on the couch and listening to one of the man’s songs.

Changkyun seems overly nervous to play it for him, and he can’t help but become more and more focused on the younger rapper than on the song itself. He forces himself to zero in on the beat, though, as that had been what the maknae had asked him over for. It’s then that his ears catch the snippet of a lyric, and his heart pounds loudly in his chest.

“I came in with no hopes of escape, to y’all who despised me with no mercy.”

Jooheon smacks his lips, shifting in his seat nervously. He listens more and more, and notices the reoccurring phrase ‘no mercy’ over and over… It’s obvious he’s referencing how he had come onto the debut survival program what seems like a lifetime ago, and how Jooheon and the others had hated him upon their first meeting.

Even though they’re all past it and can talk about it openly now, it still makes Jooheon—and the other members, for that matter—ashamed for how coldly they had treated Changkyun in the beginning. The older man now can’t really believe the maknae is writing a song about it, though.

The song in question comes to an end, and Jooheon is quiet for a good minute or so before Changkyun gets nervous enough to break the silence.

“Hyung? Um… Was it… Was it okay?” Jooheon smacks his lips thoughtfully, trying to sort through all the guilt that had come back up because of the song.

“Yeah, it was great,” Jooheon replies, his voice a bit thick. He tries for a small laugh, nervously running a hand through his white hair as he adds, “I’m guessing this isn’t for the next album…”

“I, um,” Changkyun mutters, anxiously playing with the ends of his sleeves, “I actually wrote it for you. Well, you and the rest of the hyungs. I want it to be a kind of anniversary present for next year… I wanted it to be a surprise, but I needed a second opinion on it and I always ask you for that, so—”

“Kkungie,” Jooheon says, laughing to himself. He gestures for his dongsaeng to come closer. Changkyun easily complies, rolling over in his desk chair before leaving it to sit in Jooheon’s lap. Jooheon only wraps his arms around the younger’s waist and squeezes him comfortingly. The man squirms to get a bit closer, kneading his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I think it’s a great idea,” Jooheon assures him, smiling genuinely up at him. Changkyun’s eyes widen, honestly a bit surprised. He’d expected for his hyung to be the voice of reason, to tell him that it’d only make the others sad on such a happy occasion and that he shouldn’t do it. He hadn’t thought that the older would ever approve.

“… Really?” he asks meekly, sounding much more hopeful than intended. It’s so hopeful, in fact—like a child whose just been told he gets to have the last piece of cake—that Jooheon can’t help but laugh against and nuzzle his head against the maknae’s shoulder. He pulls away to nod, his eyes shining up at his one and only dongsaeng. Changkyun giggles a little under his breath, launching himself forward despite the close distance to hug him gratefully.

“Thank you, hyung~!” he chirps sweetly. Jooheon can only pat his back in return. Changkyun hums at the touch, and separates himself from the older to give him a grateful kiss. Jooheon laughs airily after, a hand still running up and down Changkyun’s spine like he knows the younger likes.

“Was that all you wanted me to hear?” Jooheon asks after a moment of just staring fondly into each other’s eyes. Changkyun nods his response, and moves suddenly out of the older’s arms only to offer out a hand.

“Let’s go home, hyung,” he tells him, and Jooheon doesn’t even hesitate to take him up on the offer, the tiring week he’s had beginning to catch up with him.

 

When the two arrive at the dorm, they find the others all hunkered down on the sectional in a cuddle pile with a movie playing on the television. They instantly make enough room for their two rappers in the middle, and Jooheon eagerly sits beside Kihyun as Changkyun takes up the gap to his left, next to Hyunwoo.

“Our Jooheonney looks so tired~” Kihyun coos gently, opening his arms to the younger. Jooheon hums cutely in his throat, pouting a bit for emphasis as he snuggles as close as humanly possible to the main vocalist. Hoseok whines a little, and gets up only to sit down on the floor in between Jooheon’s legs. Hyungwon lies across Minhyuk and Kihyun’s laps, his head easily reaching Jooheon’s lap due to his long body.

Jooheon’s eyes begin to fall shut on their own, the warm feeling of love for these men surrounding him only emphasizing his own drowsiness. He feels Kihyun’s fingers begin to card through his soft hair, and he can’t help but smile at the familiar feeling.

No matter how much Jooheon needs to do for each of his boyfriends on a weekly basis, he wouldn’t trade this for all the world~