KyuJong’s P.O.V

It was a relatively hot day when the symptoms first began - it being hot because it was smack dab in the middle of June of 2010 and the symptoms were continuing until July. everyone knowing that Korea was notorious for having “sweltering hot summers”. Me and the guys were doing our Persona tour; in July which was exhausting enough on its own. I was about 23 at that time. I wasn't feeling all too well that day; I felt very tired and sick to my stomach and with a bad headache, which was shocking since I never felt that before and the guys noticed it. I was sitting backstage of the concert hall; with my hand on my head and my eyes squeezed shut, massaging the side of my head, trying to relieve the pain.

“Hyung? Are you ok?”

I managed to look up to see Hyungjoon; the youngest of the group, looking at me with a worried expression. He had noticed that I was looking quite pale whilst sitting around.

“Ne, just a headache and also I’m feeling a bit nauseated, I’ll be ok though as soon as I take something.” I replied as I got up to get something for my stomach, from the vending machine down the hall, along with getting something from the dressing room for my headache. He followed me, to make sure I was ok.

“Kyu, I suggest going to the doctor, you’ve been having this problem since last month.” He replied.

“Joon, I promise once its our next day off, I will.” I replied looking at me as we stopped at the machine and I got some crackers hoping they will settle my stomach.

“Ok but if you don’t me and the guys will make sure you go, no ifs ands or buts.” He said as he watched me eat. I nodded agreeing. We started walking towards the dressing rooms where the other guys were, where i suddenly felt a familiar weakness and numbness in my legs and they gave out before we even got into the room. I even felt weak and everything started blurr.

"Oh my god hyung! Someone call an ambulance and manager hyung now!" I heard a voice say before everything suddenly went black.

 

Youngsaeng’s POV

I was in the dressing room with Hyunjoong and Jungmin when suddenly we heard Hyungjoon screaming. We turning around and saw that Kyu was in his arms passed out. We ran to them as fast as our legs will take us.

“Joon what happened?” I asked as Jungmin and I kneeled down beside him and Hyunjoong went to get our manager. I pulled out my phone to call for help. Once reaching the operator, i quickly explained to the emergency services what was going on and where we were located while Hyungjoon kept checking for any signs of a pulse to make sure it wasn’t as bad as we were all worrying.

“he fainted.“ he replied.

“Well we clearly see that Joon, but what happened that made him faint.” Jungmin asked.

“We were coming back from the vending machine. He was complaining about his head hurting and being nauseated. We went there to get him something to settle his stomach, then all of a sudden he fainted.” He replied as Hyunjoong hyun soon returned with our manager, who immediately told a few of the crew members to go to the front entrance to make sure the paramedics came to the right place. We suddenly heard a quiet groan, leading us all to look down. Kyujong was slowly coming around again, though it was clear that he was still very out of it and confused as he looked concerned and scared as to what exactly was going on. He tried to speak but I instantly stopped him.

“Don’t Kyu yah, there’s help coming - you’re gonna be alright.” I assured him. He simply closed his eyes again, all of us watching him with concern etched across our faces as we wondered if he would be okay.

 

Jungmin’s P.O.V

It wasn't long until arriving at the hospital, all of us sprawling out across the waiting room straight away as we waited for any updates on our buddy. The worry was clear on all of our faces. We just hoped and prayed that he would be okay..

“So why do you think he passed out?” I asked looking at the others. All three of them shrugged, all of them having equally confused expressions on their faces..

“He had a pained look on his face earlier and he looked pale; I’m thinking he’s ill.” Hyungjoon replied, a sigh escaping his lips as he looked down at the ground.

“The crazy dude; he pushes himself too hard,” Hyunjoong hyung immediately spoke up being the leader of the group, “When he gets out of here, I think we should discuss delaying touring to give him some rest for a bit - that guy is a workaholic.”

“I don’t think that was just simple exhaustion though, hyung.” Hyungjoon remarked as he looked up at us again.

“What do you think it was?” I inquired.

“I don’t know, but it definitely wasn’t just exhaustion,” he replied, “You guys didn’t see him; like he could hardly look up- that’s how bad his headache was, and then his color didn’t look right to me. I’m telling you guys, this isn’t simple exhaustion.”

I simply rolled my eyes and stood up, not wanting to hear about what it could or couldn’t be. Maybe Hyungjoon would be wrong and this would all be down to exhaustion and our buddy would be absolutely fine and healthy when the doctor came back out. However, something inside of me wasn’t just going to let “exhaustion” be the excuse for what was really wrong with Kyu. Something inside of me was telling me that this was a lot worse, and none of us could have imagined exactly how bad this was going be…

 

Kyujong’s P.O.V

I woke up in a cold, uncomfortable hospital bed with a slew of blankets over me, which was good because I was cold. The bright lights were making my headache worse, and my body ached, probably a result of me hitting the floor. I looked around; the other guys were sitting around my bed, clearly worried.

"Hey, are you alright Kyu? We're here." Youngsaeng spoke up once he noticed me, putting his hand on my shoulder. I nodded, swallowing.

"I'm thirsty." I croaked in a quiet voice. Hyunjoong quickly got up and went over to the little rolling table that was in the corner of my room. He poured me some water before making his way back, helping me take a small sip. I thanked him before laying back against the pillow, sighing as I saw the drips attached to my hand.

"What happened?" I asked.

“You passed out.” He replied. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head in despair.

“Well I guess I need some rest then, I knew I was working too much and now that I’ve ignored my body for a while, I’m paying for it hey?” I lightheartedly joked. However, none of the guys were laughing. They were all giving me some annoyingly sympathetic look in which their eyes were full of concern too; this look putting me on edge as I hated feeling like I was a victim or something.

“Guys lighten up; it’s nothing some rest can’t sort out.” I told them.

“That’s not just exhaustion and you know it hyung,” Hyungjoon lightly scolded me, “Seriously, you were in such pain earlier and your color was off; there’s something seriously going on here.”

“Guys, seriously just calm down - it’s either exhaustion, but nothing to get too majorly worked up about.” I tried to reassure him.

“And you know that do you? You know that for sure?” he retorted, leading me to simply roll my eyes and look away from them all. I didn’t want any of them to know that deep down, I really was worried about what was possibly wrong with me. I knew that he was right, that this wasn’t just exhaustion or a bug. Something was seriously wrong, but I didn’t anticipate it to be as bad as it really was. Jungmin was about to say something until we heard the door open. We looked up; the doctor was coming in. His expression, however, wasn't good.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" I asked straight away. The doctor sighed, sitting on the stool at the foot of my bed.

“Mr. Kim I'm afraid your white cell count is a lot higher than it should be.” he began. All of us looked on edge; for this to be just a stomach bug, he was certainly being a bit too serious about it.

“You have stage 4 brain cancer.”

And it was at that moment that I felt like my world had just come crashing down.

I was 23 years old, with stage four brain cancer...