There are two types of love.

There's the kind that you find in the good morning texts and shy smiles. the kind that comes with butterflies and stolen glances. the kind where you laugh for no reason and a smile is forever glued to your face. sweet, simple, honest, pure

and then there's

the kind that finds you in 2 a.m. phone calls and the tears on your pillow. the kind that comes with a war between your brain and your heart. the kind where nothing makes you happier and nothing makes you sadder, passionate, overwhelming, intense , daring and when it all comes crashing down

so

do

you

One,

Slipping of her headphones, she leans back against the headboard, staring at the paused image of Mina revealing her gummy smile. The smile that brights up like stardust, so genuine, so kind, Jeongyeon's favorite smile. According to research, 90 percent of the human race still keep their exe's social media to look for a coping mechanism or to hope that they're unhappy without us. And so, her persistent-curious self stumbled upon the idea of checking Mina's face book tab again. Jeongyeon's impatient fingers scrolled and scrolled, she smiled- a picture of Mina holding nanan, the pomerian dog she gave to Mina as a birthday gift last year. She scrolled again, Mina cut her hair mid length- it suits her, Jeongyeon thought. The room was shrouded in darkness, the light from her laptop dimly lights up the room. Jeongyeon scrolled again, and again , and again...to get her heart broken. The screen shows Mina smiling at the camera while being wrapped around someone else's arms. "She moved on" Jeongyeon convinced herself. It's been 3 months since the last time she saw Mina, of course Mina moved on. Heart deciding to stop, she reached for the mouse to close the window leaving only the background with a picture of them, of her warming Mina's hands around the picturesque white snow that was taken last anniversary. "It's about time to change this stupid wallpaper" She clicked delete, a warning popped out Are you sure you want to delete this image? Jeongyeon sighed. Maybe not now.

Two,

" Im going to be okay. You're okay " Jeongyeon's daily mantra. Repeating this numinous phrase over and over again became her habit. Like how she changes her clothes daily or how she brews her unsweetened coffee adding two shots of double strength espresso. She likes her coffee bitter, life is bitter. " Im going to be okay. You're okay " she'll recite this once again, " Im going to be okay. You're okay " in the mirror, " Im going to be okay. You're okay " on a public transportation, " Im going to be okay. You're okay " in the middle of the fountain at the mall, " Im going to be okay. You're okay " in the places where she'll be reminded of Mina. Someone said when you begin to rearrange your vocabulary from "Im not fine" to " Im going to be okay. " you will begin to forget her name, so she thought.

three,

Jeongyeon will do nothing and become one with her couch. Eating whole stacks of Oreo’s like leaning towers of feelings. Watch sloppy romcom dramas until her eyes become flooding raisins "this is stupid". But she must do something, drink. She'll get her cheap wine, pour it into her glass while making her profile picture to join tinder and then talk to no one. Swiping 50 people in five minutes isn't enough, she needs a better destruction . Jeongyeon will dial her phone and call out her friends " Yow Jihyo party tonight, my house. Bring Nayeon too ". She'll kiss as many people as she needs to get the stamp of Mina's lips off of her brain.

Four,

Jeongyeon will try to play hide-n-go-seek with her REM cycle. Because she's not sure what's worse to wake up from, the nightmares about her side splitting open or the dreams about Mina holding her face like it meant something to her. She might as well listen to the clackety noise of  the ticking  clock than hear Mina's laugher echoing at her empty room.

Five,

She'll stay up until 3:00, 3:30 , 4:00. She'll write about Mina. Write until she use every metaphor that's in her library. She'll start using the same one over and over because th