I wanted to speak truthfully

I liked her first

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There goes the school's favourite Son Yeoshin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waving at her fans with wide smile plastered on her face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I looked at her with my best smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Gosh she's so perfect. I wish I can have her"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And there's my bestfriend. Staring at my yeoshin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She liked Naeun after Naeun's art got 1st place for Seoul's Young HeArt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I liked her since the first day we met. Before she made a name for herself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What I can't just say is

She likes you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Eunji ah"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi called me, stopping my thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I heard that she likes me too. Do you think it's true?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi asked with hopeful eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From the moment I realized it

It's like I was standing on the edge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With a force smile, I nodded gently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It hurts to be the person at the edge of a triangle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi eyes sparkled and she couldn't hide her smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"She's so beautiful. How come I never know she exist before?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As much as I want to say I know her since first grade, I just couldn't.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you talk about her to me

It stings, it’s like all of my heart will keep getting caught

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We're friends. I don't want to break our friendship. But it hurts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whenever Bomi and I were having lunch together, Naeun would appear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smiling at us. Or should I say Bomi.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since first grade, I never had the courage to start a conversation with Naeun. And it .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a secret, but I actually like her
I’ve liked her by myself for a long time
I kept watching her without being able to talk to her

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's not that I'm being bold but I'm the first one to like Naeun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I'm such a coward. I might lose her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's like I'm cursing myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, Bomi starts talking to Naeun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They look happy. Without me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My heart stings, every time I see you and me
It’ll soothe my sharp heart
Until it wears thin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi then approached to me with a huge smile on her face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey Jung, guess what?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I look at her, acting curious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I got Son Naeun's number! Kyaa!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi shouted excitedly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It stings, every time I see you
Thump thump, when you talk about her
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Really?! That's great Bomi ah!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I said, trying to sound as excited as I can be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But it hurts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It stings, every time I see your eyes
How should I say it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, I was waiting for Bomi at our usual place for lunch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minutes passed by, Bomi is still not here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, I saw two figures I really know. Sitting across where I was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just couldn't believe my eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I felt like being stabbed by my own bestfriend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi then saw me looking at them. She stood up, dragging Naeun along.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Naeun ah, meet my best ever friend Jung Eunji"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naeun bowed and I just smile at them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I look at her with you
When you talk about her
It’s like I’m on the edge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just couldn't stand the sight of them being happy together so I excuse myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know I should be happy instead of being jealous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I tried to shook off the the negative thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was stupid back then. Just three words then she'll be mine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I was so stupid that I let her go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was worried about confessing to her
It stings, it’s like all of my heart will keep being caught

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey Jung! I'm sorry buddy about earlier"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just nodded and give her a smile saying I'm fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry again. I can't walk back home with you today. Naeun wanted me to accompany her. Is that alright?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And it stings again. My poor little heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nah I'm fine. You go get your girl Yoon. Fighting!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trying my best to hide the pain. I can't smash her happiness right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She smiled widely and it looks like she's about to tear up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You're the best Jung!"

 

 

 

 

 

She then pulled me into a hug.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hugged her back, patting her back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

She then leaves. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I let out a sigh and look up at the beautiful sky.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why am I suffering?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Asking to myself. Again, another sigh escaped my mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After some time
I’ll talk about that time
So that each of us wouldn’t be hurt
I can only laugh it off

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Mom, can I move to Busan with dad?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know I'm such a coward. Running away from reality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sure sweetheart. Anything you want"

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mom and dad spoiled me alot. I guess that's why I'm a wimpy kid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, I decided not to tell Bomi.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yesterday was the best day of my life"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't know how to react so I just flash my eyesmile at her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I think I'm ready Eunji yah"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I raised an eyebrow. Not knowing what she was talking about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi took a deep breathe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm ready to confess my true feelings for Naeun"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At that time, I just don't know what to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should I jump happily or should I punch her in the face? But she's my bestfriend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was completely froze.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a secret, but I think my heart is until this point
Until the memory with you who used to be precious
I’ll forget everything with no sadness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Eunji? Eunji yah"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi shook my body snapping me off my thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm happy for you Bomi ah. Goodluck"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bomi hugged me and saying I'm the best friend ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Bye Jung. I need to find her"

 

 

 

 

 

 

The moment she leaves, I already know I lost Naeun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was eating alone. I bet Bomi already got Naeun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I received a text from Bomi.

 

 

 

 

"Hey buddy, could you buy us some food. Naeun dislikes crowdy places. Leave it on my table. You're the best Jung :)"

 

 

 

 

As much as I don't want to but Bomi only have me.

 

 

 

 

Sighed.

 

 

 

 

 

"Be strong dear heart"

 

 

 

 

My heart hurts, but
I’m more important to you
My heart that used to be sharp will be soothed until it disappears

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the bell rings, I rushed back home.

 

 

 

 

It's my last day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Pack your stuff sweetie. Your dad will arrive soon"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Packing my stuff with pain in my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't want to hurt them. I rather be the one who get hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

Both of them are important.

 

 

 

 

 

It stings, every time I see you
Thump thump, when you talk about him
It stings, every time I see your eyes

 

 

 

 

 

 

My dad arrived, waiting for me in the car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hugged my mom since I can only visit her during school holidays.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ready kiddo?"

 

 

 

 

"I am dad"

 

 

 

 

I took a deep breathe and looked outside the window.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll understand everything
For you, I’ll forget

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I deserve to be happy too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also have feelings right?