A/N: Bold is for song lyrics. The idea is that each chapter is based on a song that Irene listens to or sees Seulgi listening to. Now that Perfect Velvet is out there are a lot of great new songs that'll probably get used in this fic lol. Hope you enjoy!

In the wee hours of the morning after failing to do physics work, Irene huddled beneath the covers of her bed, bathed in the glow of her laptop. There she was again, opening SongHut even though Youtube or iTunes would have just as easily satisfied her need to listen to music before going to sleep.

Seulgi’s profile picture screamed at her from that pesky sidebar, just as she knew it would. She untangled a pair of headphones and opened Pandora’s box for what seemed like the hundredth time since the first night in the administration building.

Her ex was listening to something called I Don’t Really Love You Anymore. The title and every dip and swell of the ironically cheery-sounding song felt like an attack, even though Irene knew there was no way it could be. Seulgi was definitely not obsessing over this like she was. She was at least that self-aware.

She rolled over and slammed the computer shut when her heart started beating faster than she cared for.

That morning, she walked into the dance studio with a cold face pinned on so that no one would even think to suspect an ounce of the silly anguish that had been floundering in her stomach the past few days.   

I don't have to love you now if I don't wish to

There was Seulgi, stretching at the bar. She was flanked by a gaggle of other girls chatting inanely, vying for her attention. This got on Irene’s nerves, but she chastised herself in a reminder that it wasn’t her place to have an opinion on who her ex was associating with. She didn’t know whether to say hello, since the younger girl seemed...busy. Unsure of what to do, she turned her head in the other direction, fiddling with the strap of her bag.

I won't see you anyhow if that's an issue

The world must have been out to get her that morning, because she still caught Seulgi’s reflection in the studio mirror. Inevitably, her eyes flickered to meet the other girl’s in the glass. Her arm had a mind of its own as it lifted from her side to shoot the girl an instinctive wave and an awkward Bae Joohyun smile (this was different from an Irene smile) to boot.

She practically had manners encoded in every fiber of her being. She couldn’t just ignore the other girl if it was clear that they had noticed each other. To her annoyance, the younger girl immediately pretended she hadn’t been looking, snapping her attention back to the dancers littered about her.

Try as she might to stop it, a disgruntled voice in Irene's head raged, Bimbos.

Irene couldn’t say she was surprised by Seulgi’s avoidance. In the immediate aftermath of the breakup, they just barely made polite conversation despite agreeing to be friends. To her distaste, it sure as hell didn’t feel like they were friends. It was almost always her initiating while the younger girl made things more awkward with apathetic greetings and dull questions that grated on her weary patience. Even those strained conversations fizzled out overnight, and they tipped into an abyss of icy quiet.

She kept count: ten days of radio silence.

Her ex was practically friends with everyone. It made sense. People felt important when they were with Seulgi. She stared in that particular Seulgi way, eyes blazing into your being as if she were memorizing every inch of you; absorbing every breath and word. The girl was unwittingly romantic, but no one else had a chance with her from the start- it was always Irene. Knowing that she, out of admirers far and wide, owned the heart of such an obliviously charming person had long been a point of pride for the older girl. To go from that to not even being worth a proper look in the eyes stung.

The dancer dropped her head with a tight jaw and whipped her bag onto a hook on the wall with unnecessary vigor. She rolled her head over her shoulders, cracking her neck with practiced ease.

She refused to let her ex’s strange behavior (or am I the strange one?) dictate hers on her turf. They might share a passion, a space-  but Irene had seniority. She wasn’t going to let the third year rain on her parade in the place that she had marked as home with her blood, sweat and tears. Such a possessive feeling was new to her. Truthfully, she didn’t know she had this vehemence within her in the first place, and wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it.

So, she danced.

Wendy tapped out a few ill-tuned notes before slamming a palm to the keys with a huff of frustration.

“Help.” She looked to the blonde in the corner of the practice room as she miserably rolled knuckles over the start of a minor scale.

“Hm?” The other girl didn’t look up from her phone. “Don’t take your feelings out on the piano. It’s not its fault you have no talent.”

“Kim Yerim.”

“Son Seungwan.” Rumbled Yeri mockingly, a laugh melding into her last syllable.

The girl at the piano glared at her before her expression melted into a frustrated pout. “I can’t focus.”

The short girl finally slid her phone into her pocket. “What’s wrong? You seemed fine up til you assaulted the piano.”

The brunette teased numb fingers through her hair, picking at the blue tips when she finished clawing through the body of it.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s a first, for you.”

Another glare. Yeri raised her hands defensively as if to say you were asking for it.

“Some grad student who TAs Dr. Kwon’s intro physics lab just handed in her two weeks.”

“Knocked up, probably.”

Wendy rolled her eyes. “Anyways, he offered me the position for after she leaves.”

The blonde’s hand flew out to slam a hand on the highest octave of the piano as she screeched, “What?! You scored a TA gig?!”

The shorter girl winced as she pulled her hand away from the keys. “Well, that’s the thing I’ve been thinking about. I don’t know whether to take it.”

“God, for someone so smart you sure can be dumb. What’s there to think about? You get paid to B.S. red-penning some lab reports; employers think you’re gold down the line. Underclassmen never get chances like this,” fumed Yeri before smacking her friend's shoulder. “Only you could find a way to overthink this.”

“Some other people are in line for the job after me. He only likes me because I actually went in for his review sessions last semester. I’m barely into my sophomore year! There are people who deserve it more,” Wendy elaborated.

“Christ, you’re way too righteous. Take advantage of your professor’s crush on you!”

“I’m pretty sure a fifty year old with a wife and kids isn’t in love with me.”

“Why couldn’t he give this job to me?!”

“You’re a music production major, Yer.”

“Semantics. All I’m saying is: you gotta take it.”

“I dunno...It feels icky.” Wendy scrunched her nose.

Yeri rolled her eyes and swiped platinum blonde locks over her shoulder. “That’s life, cupcake.”

Irene dabbed sweat from her brow with a hanky in the corner of the studio. Satisfied, she plucked her bag off its hook.

A gaggle of the other girls crowded around the sound system while others splayed across the floor, scarfing down snacks and drinks to replenish their energy after the intense rehearsal.

Exhausted, she made to simply leave, but was quickly apprehended by her friend, Solar.

“What’s your rush, unnie?” The junior asked breezily as she took Irene’s free hand. “Come sit with us.” She didn’t wait for an answer as she dragged the older girl to the ring of dancers.

“Okay, then…”

Seulgi was among them. Irene hesitantly placed her bag at her feet and descended to sit cross-legged with everyone else, but couldn’t help but feel a little tense. Eyes darted between the old couple; everyone unsure whether or not the situation would turn out okay. The senior decided she was mature enough to not let Seulgi’s presence faze her, but she couldn’t be sure about the junior.

The brief silence weighed over them painfully, but was thankfully unceremoniously shattered when Solar barked, “Well? Aren’t any of you going to say hello?”

Nervous giggles and greetings ensued like water from a breaking dam.

“How are you, sunbaenim?”

“Hi, Irene!”

“Unnie, I missed hanging out with you after rehearsals!”

“Hey, hey!”

Only one person gave her a greeting nonverbally. Seulgi weakly waved. She returned a polite nod and mustered the tiniest smile.

The awkwardness quickly dissipated, and for the first time in weeks, she felt ready to socialize with her girls again.

She laughed along to Luna’s anecdote about her laundry mishap wherein she got bleach burns all over half her clothes and offered some sound laundry tips (she was an expert, after all). Got swept up in her imagination as Victoria regaled her with tales of her summer at the Beijing Dance Academy. Laughed like a hyena while Yoona fed her joke after joke.

This is normal. I missed normal.

But of course, she just had to get too comfortable and send normal toppling out of sight like she always did.

She blamed the stereo. The girls fiddling with the thing settled on a certain song in the midst of the multiple conversations she was entertaining. Irene knew it well.

The girls chatting with her took a moment to swoon when it poured through the studio.

“God, this song is sooo romantic.”

“Don’t you just love his voice?”

“Swaaaay with ease!”

“Yah, Seulgi, why aren’t you singing with us?”

The junior blinked and shook her head. “Uh, I don’t know this song.”

“What? How can you not-”

“Dean Martin is an icon-”

“Sooyoung used this for the showcase last year, remember-”

Seulgi shrugged. “Still don’t know it.”

Irene made the mistake of blurting, “Yes, you do!”

The girls all turned to look at her curiously.

.

With all eyes on her, she couldn’t stay silent. Instead, she graced them with the most natural smile she could, and looked directly at her ex.

“We used to listen to this in the car all the time, remember?”

Memories of driving by the sea to Seulgi’s hometown and her smile and the summer wind whipping a storm out of her hair and color into her cheeks through the open windows made their way into her head, and Irene felt a little death creep into her belly.

Think of me as just your fan

Who remembers every dress you ever wore

“Sorry, I don’t think so.” Seulgi’s voice dropped down low, tapering off into a whisper.

The others looked between them; the atmosphere ambiguously tense.

Before anyone had a chance to say anything, she picked herself off the floor.

“Yah, Irene-”

“Unnie-”  

“-I actually need to go now.” She gave them a tight smile as she collected her things amongst their protests. “It was nice catching up, girls. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Barely into her escape, her phone started buzzing from the inside of her bag. A notification flashed across the screen when she pulled it out in the corridor.

Reminder: Voice Exam Thursday!!! Practice!!!

Ah, right. I’ve been putting that off. Well...I don’t have any other plans to entertain, anyways.

She made her way down to the first floor of the building, where the music department practice rooms were.

Peeking through each door in the hall, it seemed they were all occupied, but she backtracked when she thought she saw a familiar face. When she could confirm her suspicions, she opened the door a crack and peeked through.

“Wendy?”  

The girl in question jumped in her spot on the piano bench before swiveling around to face the head poking through the entrance.

She put a hand over her heart, guffawing, “Irene sunbaenim. You surprised me.”

“Who?” Another voice followed.

The eldest girl giggled. “Can I come in?”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah,” Wendy hastily ushered the petite woman in. “Uh, this is my friend Yeri.”

“Hi, Yeri. I’m Irene.” She greeted with a polite bow.

Yeri smirked, “Why are you bowing to me? You’re a senior, right? Me and Wendy are batchmates.”

“Force of habit, I guess,” she admitted sheepishly.

“What are you doing here, sunbaenim?”

“Just Irene is fine, Wendy. I just got out of dance,” she shrugged off her bag. “I was hoping to practice for our voice midterm, but all of the practice rooms are full. I hope I’m not intruding if I wait for one to open up in here.”

“You’re good; we’re not really doing anything. Wendy here is experiencing the brain fart of the century,” quipped the tiny blonde.

“Yer.”

“What, Wan? You know I’m right.”

“Ugh. I hate you, you little germ…” she perked up and looked to the senior, “I know! Why don’t we practice together? That way, we all get something productive done.”

The youngest girl raised her hand. “Uh, not me.”

“You can play the accompaniment.” Wendy spread a slew of sheet music on the shiny music rack.  

“How does that benefit me?”

“Our voices are gift enough.”

“It would be really nice of you, Yeri.”

The girl grumbled and rolled her eyes, though anyone could tell she was delighting in having her skills called upon as she cracked her knuckles and shooed her friend away from the instrument.

“Scooch. Let’s see what we’ve got here…”

Like a dutiful vocalist, she glugged down her water greedily, wiping it off her lips with the back of her hand after she finished. She offered the bottle to Irene, who took it gratefully and downed the remaining half-bottle even quicker than she had.

Wendy looked at her in awe. “Wow. You did that pretty aggressively. Honestly, I didn't even think you'd say yes to sharing a bottle.”

“Why?” Laughed the older girl. “Do I look like a snob?”

The sophomore flailed her arms in front of her, “No! Just...reserved.”

“I’m a dancer. We share everything in the company.”

“Saying the company makes it sound like a cult.”

“Don’t be so sure that we’re not.”

“Noted. I’ll stick to the first floor.”

An awkward silence graced the room. Yeri had left about a half hour into their practice session for a class, and it was just the two of them.

Wendy picked at the hair on the back of her neck. “Uh, what are you doing for the rest of the day?”

“Nothing, really. I don’t have any rehearsal or classes. What about you?”

“I dunno. Grab lunch in the commons, I guess.”

Irene wrinkled her nose, “Commons!” she exclaimed. “Thankfully, I haven’t eaten there since my second year.”

“Lucky you. It’s gross. I swear, all the meat comes out of a can.”

“Hey, why don’t you just let me take you somewhere for lunch? I have a car. I can pay you back for helping me practice.”

A small blush rose to the other girl’s cheeks. If Irene noticed, she didn’t show it. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Of course you did! You’re like, an amazing singer. So, what do you say?”   

Her fellow dance majors luxuriated in the most zany, yet stylish spots when they ventured off campus for a bite. Wendy surprised Irene when she chose a hole in the wall restaurant.

“You want to eat here?”

The other girl nodded happily, enamored by the cozy noodle house.

“If it’s about money, you can pick somewhere more expensive. It’s my treat, really.” She didn’t know why she felt an overwhelming urge to take care of the younger girl.

Restless Unnie Syndrome, Joy would call it.

“No, I just really like this place. It’s comfy.”

“Okay, then.”

They were seated quickly, as it wasn’t very busy.

Irene drummed her fingers on the edge of the tabletop. Her eyes landed on a painting of a sand coloured boat gliding across a lazy river. She lingered on it for a moment before turning her head back to Wendy.

“So, what’s good here?” She thumbed the corner of the one-page, laminated menu.

“Anything hot.”

“How helpful, Seungwan.”

“And who exactly told you to call me that?”

“I heard Yeri call you that.” She jokingly added, “I don’t need permission to use it. I’m your sunbaenim.”

“If I recall correctly, you don’t like being called sunbaenim, sunbaenim.”

“Touché, Seungwan.”

The two girls found themselves reluctant to go back to campus after lunch, so Wendy suggested they venture to a coffee shop she knew nearby.

Irene immediately took note of the mismatched furniture and rustic hardwood flooring. Colorful trinkets and banners stuck over brick walls pulled the aesthetic together, and she found it becoming of the girl she was with; a vision of chipping pastel nails, dyed hair, and round spectacles.  

When they reached the counter, the younger girl fired off an order of a cappuccino with an intimidating number of bells and whistles that Irene could barely make sense of. When she herself settled on a simple hot chocolate, her companion chuckled at her.

“That’s cute. I don’t remember the last time I heard someone order a hot cocoa.”

“I don’t really like coffee.” 

“Oh?” Wendy looked regretful. “You should have told me...and here I’ve dragged you to a coffee shop.”

“You didn’t know. And, I’m always up for cocoa.” Irene grinned.

The other girl smiled at that, pointing to a sitting area. “C’mon, let’s sit, they bring you your drinks here.”

She settled into a burnt sienna armchair with fluff spewing out of the corner of the cushion while Irene laid claim to a hulking purple beanbag, delighting in its color.

“You look so tiny on that thing.” Wendy commented as she watched the girl stretch out to practically lay down on the comically-sized mass. 

She wasn't spared a glance as the older girl browsed a stack of board games piled in the bookshelf beside her seat, one hand propping her up by her chin and the other dancing along fading titles on the boxes. “You’re one to talk. You’re even smaller than me,” she commented off-handedly.

“Ouch.” The short girl laughed and tried to sit up taller in her chair.

Irene whipped back around to face her across the table, tugging a game from the shelf on her way. She leaned over on her haunches to plunk the tube onto the shiny yellow plastic and plucked the round top off with her fingertips.

“Jenga?”

“Yes! You’ll play, right?”

“Wow. Kiddie drinks, kiddie games...are you sure you’re a senior in college?”

The dance major rolled her eyes and tipped the cylinder on its side, sending a heap of blocks tumbling out in a wave.  

“Please play with me?” 

Someone on the wait staff placed two steaming mugs at the edge of her pool of Jenga pieces. She gave him a nod of thanks as she looked to the girl in the armchair for an answer.

The junior shook her head in amusement and lowered herself to the floor in front of the game. She skated a palm over the sea of blocks to clear a space in the middle as Irene carefully moved their drinks out of the way.

“Coffee first. You think the Romans built their empire without a caffeine fix beforehand?”

“I don’t know the first thing about the Romans.” She passed the mug over their mess on the table anyways.

Wendy took a deep breath and wafted the steam to her nose, relishing in the scent and the warmth bleeding into her fingers before taking a ginger sip and releasing a pleased “Ahhh!”

Irene watched the ritual curiously with her knees tugged to her chest; cocoa resting precariously between them.

Lifting the drink from its perch, she commented, “I’ll never understand coffee-drinkers. You drink it like it’s air and you can’t breathe.” She took a sip and blinked over the rim of the mug, waiting for her companion to enlighten her.

She merely hummed in response; mid-swig. She raised an index finger to request a moment to finish before finally putting the cappuccino down on the table with a flourish.

“I swear- once you start; you can’t stop,” she declared.

Irene wrinkled her nose. “Good thing I’ve never thought of starting,” she said as she begun to assemble their Jenga tower.

Wendy shot her a toothy grin as she joined her in building. “If we’re gonna be friends, you’ll definitely learn to appreciate coffee.”

“Maybe I never got crazy smart because I never gave coffee a shot. I swear you science-y people live off the stuff.”

“Ah, but the real smart one is you, Irene. See, us STEM kids wouldn’t need coffee if we had chose majors that allow for time for sleep, like intelligent human beings.”

“Chosen.”

“See? Science-y kids can barely even speak properly, but you’re a grammar whiz!”

That got a laugh out of her.

Their Jenga tower was down to its bones. Worn blocks lay scattered across the table like wounded soldiers; the majority donning doodles and phone numbers scrawled across them in various inks, which they had both found to be greatly amusing.

Irene meticulously began to drag a piece out of the rickety prism as the bell over the front door rung. Wendy was saying something about her major-required architecture class and I swear this game just doesn’t follow the rules of physics because this is so not how real buildings work but she didn’t quite catch it all because her focus was slipping. She wasn’t the type to lose her concentration while playing a game- she had a penchant for winning- but she was extremely irked by what she was seeing.

In her reverie, the structure came crashing down and Wendy whooped, “I win!” over the dismembered remains.

Irene continued to gaze off somewhere behind the girl’s back.

“Hello? Earth to Irene?”

She snapped her attention back to the other girl and apologized for getting distracted.  “Ah, sorry.”

Wendy turned curiously to see what she had been looking at.

There were two girls in line with their arms hooked together, smiling and looking at each other affectionately.  

She turned back to the disturbed girl with a questioning look.

“You know them? The girl on the right looks familiar...”

Irene swallowed and tried to keep her eyes from wandering back to the pair. She failed and caved just in time to witness her ex-girlfriend lean over to whisper to her companion before returning to stand up right, but not without what looked to Irene like an intimate brush of her lips against the shell of the woman’s ear.

Her stomach churned against her will as she watched them giggling with each other and she finally offered a soft, “Yeah, I do,” in response to Wendy’s question.

“Do you want to say hello?”

She shook her head, eyes downcast to their army of tiny blocks. Luckily, Wendy understood, because she packed up the Jenga pieces and helped Irene up from where her legs had fallen asleep against her beanbag, completely fine with leaving.

As they tried to discreetly exit, Irene could have sworn their eyes met, but Seulgi seemed to not even notice her. Her instinct was to call out to the girl, but her better judgement curbed the urge as Wendy led her out the door gently.

I'll be numb but realize you'll never call me

And now I've given up all hope

So I don't really love you anymore

That night as she laid in bed, thinking about her day, the overall verdict was resoundingly good. Despite the run-in (was it still a run-in if they didn’t actually interact, though?) with Seulgi and her mysterious companion, Irene had a good day.

There was Wendy to thank for that, she thought.

For the first time in a while, she fell asleep without the SongHut screen being the last thing she saw before calling it a night.

Instead, a text to a new contact: Thanks for today. Had a great time and still really sorry about my weirdness at the end. We’ll have to go back to that place again for sure.

The response came when she was already asleep.

Can’t wait :D

A/N: First chap done! Who do you think Seulgi was with??? Sad Baechu is sad :( But at least Wendy is around to be her friend! And maybe more later, wink wink. Also, if you want to listen to the "theme song" to this chapter it's "I Don't Really Love You Anymore" by The Magnetic Fields https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osMKh-0  What are your favorite songs from Perfect Velvet? I love "I Just" so so much. The lyrics are awesome, the instrumental, the vocals... I really hope they perfom it live at a concert down the line. It's probably my 2nd favorite RV B-side to date, my favorite being "Oh Boy".

-Coiste