Dongwook and Junmyeon are visiting Joo Hyun's cemetery in the middle of November. 

 

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"I love autumn..." 

The soft autumn wind gently brushes his already frozen face, and at the same time, through that delicate air, it feels likes, as if his late lover whispered straight to his ears.....as if she wanted to remind him at least a tiny bit from so many pieces of hers.

"I know, and i always remember...." Lee Dongwook mutters quitely. Unknowingly,  the words clutches his heart painfully, he feels like choking. "how could i forget about it?...and how could i forget every single thing about you...." he internally adds more, trying to convince his late lover that she will always be in his silent pray, and there is no single day in his life would pass without remembering her.

For Dongwook, out of four seasons, autumn is the most mudane season...so vanilla that sometimes the season passes unnoticeable to him.Nothing faboulous nor extraordinary... But because of Bae Jo Hyun, he has tried hard to comprehend what is there in autumn to like about. 

He always knows Jo Hyun loves the golden color of ocean trees, the smell of autumn air, and the luster in its sky. There is an unspokenble harmony in autumn, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been. Sometimes, he used to be wondering why, her beautiful and bright smile looked so lonely, and she kept on smiling and smiling and smiling, all over again. 

 

"Jo Hyun, stop pretending you're okay...."

"No I can't.  For Junmyeon ..i have to keep trying, i love him so much that i would give him everything that i could. He's my love and he's the only one in my life.. "

 

He wanted to say, she should depend on him more, but at the same time, he felt bitter with Jo Hyun's last sentence, so some words remain unspoken  Once in a while, he questioned to himself, what he was to Jo Hyun. Did his existence meant nothing to her? or did he exist in her life? He really wanted to ask Jo Hyun, but the words stucked deep inside, for some things are not mean to be said.  There was no room for argument, although it was more toward no use to argue with somebody as stubborn as Jo Hyun.  It was not like he would lose either, but for Dongwook, it was better to keep the argument at that point only, and silently pray she would see his perceptive point of view. He understood she underwent through a hard life and didn't want to propagate the stress further. 

It's sometimes hurtful to fall in love with selfless person..  could they sometimes think about themselves more than the others?

some things are made to be understood only at the end of time, when it is too late to understand why. Dongwook never understood why the selfless beauty like her loved autumn season so much, and to be honest,he couldn't get it what is the beauty behind the fallen leaves till......

 

"Hey, why do you love autumn so much?"

"I think....i just love the sight of fallen leaves, i love to see how the dead leaves fall and melt...."

 

To his deepest sorrow and regret, when she was still alive and be there with him, thought those dark days of autumn rain were as beautiful as day can be. She loved the bare, the withered tree, and the image of her, walking through the sodden pasture lane vividly plays in his mind. But what he never thought at that time was, what Jo hyun' mean was, in order to grow new life, it's entail certain sacrifice... 

He never understood....till it took a great loss in his life just to make him understand, that was when Jo Hyun herself became the fallen leaf, in that her last autumn season eleven years ago.She died in an honour protecting somebody who was dearest to hers, that was her little Junmyeon, who was still seven at that time. 

It was another one week before DongWook and Jo Hyun becoming official, they were too closed to enter marital life and become one, but in paradox, they were separated by fate...death did them apart. In what ever reason, God seemed to have a better plan. In that tragic car accident, Jo Hyun became a living shield, protecting a little Junmyeon with her own body....She embraced him tightly in that violent car crush and didn't want to let him go even when her soul already left her body. 

 

"Dongwook, . ..please protect .. ..and love Junmyeon for me...and please...  ."

 

​​​​​​These were among her final words before she took her last breath. Her lips moved slowly and weakly and her muffled voice barely registered in his ears, for it took a great effort just to utter the words, she was severely injured. She didn't say 'I love you' like the ussual lovers do, but her words remain selfless. Till the end of time, she only thought about others more than herself... 

Only then, Dongwook  understood...Her love toward autumn was a reflection of her real self, a selfless person.. He regret it throughout his lifetime to never understand this, because he was too blind to see the beauty and kindness behind the fallen leaves. 

Sometimes, Dongwook wonders if Jo Hyun was truly happy in her life, because she spent so much time worrying about others more than herself. 

"Are you happy with your life, Jo Hyun?."

"my happiness is when i see Junmyeon happy. ..My happiness is when i see from the melting dead leaves, grow another trees..."

 

 

With that gentle words, he could only guess that his lover met her true happiness, in what evet circumstances, although it was truely hurtful to look at. That soft smile didn't leave her face when she protected Junmyeon with all her might, and she looked genuinely happy for the first time...and for the last time.

"Please make Junmyeon happy...."

with that final wish, Jo Hyun made him to bear a lifetime vow and promise. She entrusted him the most dearest person to her in this world... 

"i will...."

​​​​​​​​​​​​It took a moment before he slowly replied. At that time, her lips already stopped moving, pale and cold, and her chest already stopped breathing, heart already stopped beating. 

"i will...and i promise to make him happy....so please..." he took her into his lap, caressing her frozen face for the last time..."be at peace.. "

 

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It's another autumn season, and it's already eleven years passes by ever since he have lost his lover. 

"love Junmyeon for me...and please make Junmyeon happy...."

 

Lee Dongwook is deep in his thought when a dead leaf dropped onto his head, awoken him from his reverie. He is standing under one of many tall autumn trees, talking and listening silently with shadowless wind, in his listening silent. His right hand reaches the dead leaf, removes it from his head. He unknowingly smiles when he see the golden colour leaf in his hand.

"i will and i promise to love him..." he mumbles quitely, as if the golden colour leaf was Jo Hyun herself. Well, his late lover loves the dead leaf. 

His eyes trailed on the remaining dead leaves that scattered all around the ground before they stopped at small, lither figure. Here he  is... that little kid, grows beautifully, standing just before him, holding a white lily. 

 

"You know when dead leaves drop and melt into the earth, another tree will grow on top of that?"

 

"i know, and i'm sorry for understanding it later than i should...i'm sorry for being so stupid..." again, he apologized silently. Jo hyun's words remain all true, and that truth is standing just in front of him, the person that used to be a little kid, and even when he's eighteen, he is still a little kid, well, at least for Dongwook. 

Standing in front of his own mother's grave, that teen looked exactly like his mother, he inherits Jo Hyun's beauty, with porcelain pale skin, small but well sculptured nose, kind dark eyes and  jet black hair to complement his white skin.  Every years this teen visit her grave, he looks sorrow but at the same always wear a serene face, and over the years, he grows into a beauty. 

And he is perfect behind his imperfection.....he lost his vision in that traffic car accident.  His world is sorrounded by darkness and all he could see is dark. He couldn't even see his own mother's face for the last time nor he could see her grave. Sometimes, Dongwook is wondering why this young man looked so calm in front of her mother tombstone. 

"I can't look sad in front of my mother...."

Dongwook also keep wondering if this teen also loved autumn just like his mother. But he thought, only having seven years in his life to have a sight, he probably barely remember what it looked like to see different kind of seasons intermingle and change, including autumn. 

"i miss you mum, and i really really love you... thank you for giving me a chance to live on and thank you for everything...i pray for your happiness in thereafter,... so, please rest in peace mum," he prayed silently before placing the white lily on top of the tombstone. 

Junmyeon is a momento of Jo Hyun's beauty, kindness, selflessness and love. He is a tree which grows from the dead melting leaves. Now he stand in front of her own mother's grave, paying her with wish and rememberance. 

Junmyeon can no longer see the autumn's beauty, but at least, Dongwook wants him to feel a little bit of it's beauty, and his shared moment with Jo Hyun.. So, he walks slowly toward Junmyeon, hugs him from behind, takes his right hand and make it grasp the dead leaf. Then, it goes to momentary silent of savouring each other's presence and warmth. 

"you know your mother loves the dead leaves right?" 

"i know..."

It takes quite some time for them to detach from each other. With his innocent eyes, Junmyeon looks up at Dongwook as if he could see him, giving him a warm smile. His eyes is glowing, sparkling with love and they never fail to melt Dongwook's heart. 

Dongwook loves to see Junmyeon's beauty, and he should admit that he is a little bit selfish for that... He can give his vision to Junmyeon, but he doesn't, for the reason that he is the only one who is able to take care of him, and for the another selfish reason, because he wants to see more of Junmyeon's pretty face. 

I think i already fall in love with Junmyeon....

He isn't sure whether this is what Jo Hyun mean for, to love Junmyeon...Nor, he is sure whether he already steps on the boundary of loving someone. He isn't sure whether he is allowed to love Junmyeon this way....many things are uncertain and forbidden for him, but the only thing that remain sure in him is...his heart wants Junmyeon, wants him more than he is allowed to. 

It is no longer secret to both of them, in many their shared kisses before,  that they love each other more than mere son and dad...their love goes uncontrobly beyond that. They love each other as a lover and they only have each other's hold. 

Dongwook gently holds Junmyeon's hand, leading the way..."it's getting late.. let's go home..." Junmyeon simply nods in agreement. 

For Junmyeon, Dongwook is his dad, different kind of dad.. in his dark blind world, Dongwook is the only person he could see...his dad is his light. And Dongwook makes his world brighter than ever...he is his world, home and sanctuary...

The future is sure uncertain, but they make a promise to face it together...for now, all they want to do are to hold and love each other, and to cherish their moments together. 

The moment Dongwook's skin touches Junmyeon's hand, Junmyeon couldn't help but feels safe and secure. He literally could see Dongwook's firm hand holding his, and his handsome back view, leading their way...  

"I love you dad...."

 

 

 

 

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Yeay, finally finishing it. i never good in plotwise story or chaptered one, so that why i keep it one shot, and in case you are wondering, most of this is Dongwook's deep thought, remembering his late lover in her cemetery..