It was raining.

The cold wind howled mercilessly in her ears as water droplets continuously fell onto the earth. Tas pulled up her hoodie and shoved both her shivering hands into the pockets of her hoodie. The change in weather came without a warning, but it did little to deter Tas from her destination. She continued her way.

The streets were quiet. Everyone was driven indoor by the chilling weather, possibly huddling over their warm dinner with their families, laughing over whatever show was on at this hour. A few cars past by her in the night, and she had to dodge hastily to the side to avoid being more drenched than she already was. She was already showing up without an invitation, the least she could do was not looked more pathetic than what she was feeling on the inside.

The twenty-five-year-old finally let out a sigh when she saw the familiar white building up ahead. Picking up her pace, she headed in and a smile of relief spread across her face. She had felt the cold leaving her even before she finally stepped into the lobby of the apartment building. It was less about being out of the rain, but more of the feeling of being back here. The doors of the lift were reflective enough and Tas found herself staring long and hard at the disheveled state she was in. For a second, she let doubt overcame her. Was it really okay? As quickly as the feeling came, it was replaced by a state of assurance. She had absolute trust in them.

Pressing the lift button for the floor she was headed, she felt the excitement grew in her as the lift ascended. She had not met the boys in a long time and she honestly couldn’t wait. Tas knew a lot of this was her fault. She had been busy. She had her own life. Was it wrong to have put herself first? Maybe. Maybe not. It didn’t matter, she thought as she pressed firmly on the doorbell. She was here.

If he was surprised to find her standing behind the door, he didn’t let it show. For that, she was extremely thankful.

“Hello, Tas.”

Chanyeol beamed her with his signature ear-splitting grin.

“Hey, Chanyeol. Is it okay that I stopped by?” Tas asked, forcing as much uncertainty as possible out of her voice.

“More than okay. The rest will be pleased to see you too.”

The tall boy stepped aside, letting Tas into the shared apartment of her dearest friends. She was immediately hit with the familiar scent of home cooked dishes and her stomach growled in response. Standing by the kitchen door, Kyungsoo waved at her with a kitchen ladle.

“I thought I heard Chanyeol say your name. Hungry? We are getting ready for dinner.”

“Starving,” Tas replied as Kyungsoo nodded and headed back into the kitchen. She glanced back at Chanyeol who had finally realized that she was drenched from head to toe under the warm light of the living room.

“Why don’t you change out of your clothes and put it in our dryer? They should be warm and toasty by the time you need to get home. In meantime, I can probably lend you something.” He offered as he touched the sleeves of her hoodie, only to frown at its dampness.

“I will drown in your clothes, Chanyeol.” Tas chuckled lightly as her eyes traveled around the apartment for the rest of Chanyeol’s housemates.

“Ah,” Chanyeol said as he took a step towards one of the bedroom. “We will have to disturb our two professional gamers then.”

Without bothering to knock, Chanyeol threw open the door and declared rather loudly. “Yo. Tas is here. She needs clothes.”

“What do you mean she needs clothes?”

Baekhyun’s booming voice came from the room followed by a loud crash (Tas presumed from the boy’s natural clumsiness). Before Tas could reacted, the frantic boy had poked his head out of his room looking about with his wide eyes. His eyes finally caught hers and Baekhyun let out a sigh of relief when she gave him a light wave.

“Oh. You do need clothes.” He said stupidly as Chanyeol rolled his eyes. Baekhyun motioned her over as he went back into his room, presumably to look for something Tas could wear.

“Am I disturbing you guys?” Tas said as she and Chanyeol entered the bedroom. She glanced about, looking for the last quarter of the set, and finally locking eyes with Baekhyun’s roommate.

Jongdae, who was almost hidden behind the large monitor of his desktop, flashed her warm smile. “I am glad to see you, Tas. You just won the game for me.”

“Glad to see you too, Jongdae.”

After Tas changed out of her wet clothes into one of Baekhyun’s shirt and sweatpants, Chanyeol kindly took them to the dryer. Baekhyun nodded approvingly at her when she returned to their room, looking like his twin sister.

“Never looked better.” He winked, causing Tas to chuckle lightly at the fact that she was wandering about their house in pajamas as though this was her own home. 

“Will you ever grow out of this sweatpants phase?” She asked.

“What phase?”

What phase indeed, Baekhyun was always Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol said you are staying for dinner,” Jongdae said from his end of the room and Tas nodded in acknowledgment.

“Actually, I should go help Kyungsoo.”

Not that the talented chef in making needed any help, Tas mused as she watched in awe Kyungsoo navigate the kitchen with ease. It was odd watching the confident Kyungsoo. When they first knew each other, they were all young and clueless. Not just Kyungsoo, but the other three boys as well. They were there for each other’s stumbling and awkward beginnings and they were there to celebrate many firsts. It had appeared, in her absence, her friends didn’t stop growing and reaching new heights.

“Anything can I do for you?”

Kyungsoo glanced up, peering at her through his thick glasses. “Go rest. I am almost done.”

“No… you had to prepare extra because I popped in without a word. Least I could do help.”

He hesitated, before shrugging. “There’re tons of dishes in the sink.”

She walked up to the sink before shaking her head in disbelief. The number of dishes to wash was ridiculous. Trust Kyungsoo to look like he was cooking a ten-course meal when it was just another dinner with the boys. In her opinion, he took very meal he cooked too seriously. Still, she proceeded to start the washing.

“You really should give a warning next time. I didn’t have the ingredients nor the time to make your favorite stew.” Kyungsoo said as he stood over his pan, perfecting his grilled chicken dish.

“I love everything you cook, Kyungsoo.”

“Yea, but you are the only one who appreciates the time and effort that go into the perfect beef stew. The rest of those idiots barely know the difference between food and poison.”

Tas smiled at his words. Kyungsoo was very honest with what he felt was his housemates’ shortcomings Still, it was obvious that he cared a lot about them. Why else would he continue cooking so meticulously for the three if he really thought they were unappreciative?

They both went about their own tasks in silence. There was the charm about Kyungsoo. He could not be bothered with talking simply for the sake of it. Tas would have been offended if he treated her like a guest and engaged her in small talks. The two of them knew each other well enough by now. If anything, just his presence was comforting enough.

“Can we eat yet?”

Chanyeol had joined them in the kitchen. He sniffed the air before examining each of the dishes curiously. Tas kept her eyes on the tall boy to make sure he didn’t try to pinch off the food. It was one of Kyungsoo’s pet peeves.

“Go set the table then,” Kyungsoo said as he took a new bowl that she had only just returned to the cabinet.  Tas shook her head, knowing that there was no end to this washing duty. The unbothered boy dipped a spoon into his bowl of soup before he waved Tas over.

“Try it.” He offered, motioning her to open . Tas took a sip off the spoon before she bobbed her head in approval.

“Another excellent dish, Chef Do.”

Behind her, Tas heard Chanyeol scoffed. “But I deserved to get yelled at if I took a sip?”

“Yes.” Tas and Kyungsoo answered in unison before giving each other a high five.

Their laughter drew Baekhyun and Jongdae out of their room. With all of five of gathered around the table, there was an unexplainable feeling of familiarity. It was just dinner. It was nothing fancy, but there was nothing comparable to home-cooked food and being surrounded by people whom were so close to your heart that calling them friends felt way too distant.

Maybe family was more than just blood relations.

Maybe here was home.

It felt like old times. Everyone would be fighting over the food like it was an episode on the Animal Planet. Baekhyun would be speaking with his mouth full of food as Kyungsoo quietly shifted his bowl of rice to the side to avoid being spit on. Chanyeol would be laughing loudly at Baekhyun’s jokes while banging both his fists on the table. And Jongdae would be exchanging a look with Tas before the both of them snickered at their friends’ crazy antics.

And because they were old friends, Tas knew the boys wouldn’t be treading past difficult topics politely. Even if there was a quiet understanding between them, some words that would always be waiting to be spoken out loud.

“I really didn’t expect to see you here tonight, Tas.”

Of course, it was Chanyeol who brought it up first.

Tas felt like apologizing. She could explain and let them know her reasons. She even could come up with excuses for her absence, knowing that they would just accept them, however ridiculous they were. But the boys didn’t need to hear those. Instead, she answered, “I miss you guys.”

“You didn’t miss out on much.”