“Please don't go.” Sehun sniffs, hands clasping tighter around fingers that are slipping out of his grasp.

“I can't fight this anymore, Sehun.”

“But you promised me. You promised you won't ever leave me.”

“I'm sorry, Sehun. I'm so, so sorry.” Jongin's voice is hoarse. It's cracking. And it's barely audible. He's crying too. Sehun knows. He knows he shouldn't be selfish. He knows that he nor Jongin can do anything about the situation. He knows all that. He knows it but despite that, he can't seem to stop the words from tumbling out of his trembling lips. Even though he's making it harder for Jongin. His friend. His lover. His everything.

“You promised me. You said that you wouldn't die.” Sehun's loud sob echoes in the small room. The small, white hospital room. The room that Sehun knew once Jongin entered a few days ago, he'd never leave alive. Jongin is dying. A relapse of cancer he'd had and gotten over so many years ago. ‘I won't die.’ The man had told him when he found out he relapsed. When the doctors had informed them how severe it was. When they realised that Jongin had stopped responding to treatment. And Sehun, he believed him. He held on to those words like it was his lifeline, blindingly hoping and praying for them to be true. But here they are. Jongin is on the brink of death while Sehun's world is shattering before him. He'd always been called naive. Those words never rang truer than they did now. He grits his teeth, jaw clenching. It's frustrating that nothing can be done anymore. Heartbreaking.

“I love you, Sehun. I wish I had more time with you. W-wish I could've grown old with you. So please live on...for the both of us. Be happy, for the both of us. That's my wish. I'm sorry.” The words are soft but they sound so loud in Sehun's head, sending chills down the length of his spine with their desperate urgency. It's as if Jongin is running out of time. And he is. Sehun holds on to Jongin’s hands tighter, hoping to anchor his lover here a little longer. Just a little longer. A little more time. That's all he wants. Suddenly he feels nothing but utter regret. He regrets not spending more time with Jongin. He regrets not letting him know more often how much he's loved. He regrets not stealing more kisses. More hugs. More laughter. More dates. More. More. More. They've been together for nine years. But nine years is not nearly enough. In the face of death nine years could never be enough. If only he can get nine more years. Hours. Minutes. He’ll take anything. Sehun has never been religious and he thinks it's ironic because the amount of praying he's doing right now one would swear he is. Please. Please. Please. Please.

“Please.” Fresh tears line his lids and trickle their way down his cheeks in tracks made by their predecessors. His face scrunches up. His top lip get trapped between his teeth as he tries his utmost best to not make any sounds as he cries. It's hard. This is the hardest thing he's ever had to face. He feels like he can't breathe. His throat aches. And so does his head. His heart. He hears not