They say we often fall for the bad ones. Those that looks good and almost perfection with an aura that is trouble. Voice that sounds like a heartbreak and face that shows tears and pain. But even though after all of those obvious signs of precaution, we beat the red light and fall. But they also say we end up with the total opposite of the person we fall for, charming smiles, gentle touch, face that shows happiness and smiles, voice that’s saying you’re safe.

It was one of those starry nights and the moon is smiling but how can I smile back when my heart is breaking. Drop after drop, my tears keeps on falling and I’m silently wishing each drop will just relieve the pain. But of course it won’t, no tears left to cry yet the pain is still there, stronger than before.

Why me? I asks myself as I look up the sky while standing outside a restaurant at the side of Seoul’s busy street, a restaurant that is a witness of the betrayal I am currently weeping for. People must’ve think Im an an idiot, a crazy woman who’s crying while looking up at the moon as if it’ll give me the answer I deserves as to why this and why that Tears continue to fall from my eyes until I felt something soft hit my face, stopping me from the self-loathing I am currently doing.

I reach for what hit me and look at it with teary eyes. “A handkerchief?” I asked more to myself, voice hoarse with all the crying.

“Wipe your face. You look like an idiot.” I heard someone say beside me which made me look, there is a tall man with a cap on and though it’s covering his face and my sight is blurry, I can say that he looks good and kind of familiar? His voice? Deep and intimidating. And with all of those combined, he’s surely a bad news. An attractive bad news and so my heart that is broken start beating again, for this guy who stopped my tears and the answer the moon gave me, or not…?

Because as they say, we fall for those who are bad and end up with the good. But temptation is there and confusion. Thinking we can learn to love while we learn how to unlove and that places me on my current position. Standing before the man I came to love over years only to break him because of my what-ifs and because I’m weak.

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“Are you happy now?” Jongin asks me while looking directly at me and I can’t help that painful squeeze on my heart.

What did I do? Does he deserve this? He loves me and what did I do? These questions floods my mind as I stare back at him. Noticing how those lovely eyes that sparks every time he looks at me turns cold and void that I can’t recognize it myself.

“N-No..” my voice broke as I look at him and answer his question. I’m not happy seeing how much I’ve ruined him. How much I’ve destroyed the person who promised me nothing but unconditional love and happiness.

“Why?” he asks me again, still looking at me directly, unblinking and not showing any sign of emotion.

Because I ruined you. I destroyed your smile. Is what I wish to say but the words won’t come out and in a small voice I answered the total opposite, “I don’t know..”

“Do you want me to leave?” with that question I feel like my heart fell and broke into pieces and so my tears as they start racing down my chin. I wanna say no. I want him to stay, to be with me. But who am I to make him stay when all along, all I did was lie on his back and hurt him?

“I don’t know…” is all I can manage to answer because I’m afraid I’ll break totally if I say yes and sound so greedy when I say no. But I badly want to tell him to stay. I don’t want him to leave me but at the same time I don’t deserve him.

I watch him move closer as a soft sob left my lips. His warm hands cupping my cheeks and it was supposed to comfort me yet a louder sob escaped my lips that soon turned into louder cries.

“Do you love him?” he asks me and though I am crying I could still clearly see his question, my heart thumping harder as I look at him and nodded my head. I could see the pain that briefly appeared on his eyes before they went back to being cold again. And though I am crying, I forced myself to say something.

“I-I used t-to.” I choked out on my