“I don’t want to see you again.”

            That 7 last words was the last words she said to him.

            The 7 words that he just laughed off when he heard it and thought that it was only words. He don’t need words, he needs freedom.

            At least that was what he thought.

***

            “Just finish your work before the end of the day, man, we’ll wait.”

            “Got it.”

            Joo-heon tosses his phone to his side and back to what he’s doing: looking at the entrance of the university. He had been doing it since the last 3 weeks and he’s more than ready if someone has been noticed him for staring way too long and leave with a big smile as if he’s a ert and drags him to the nearest police office.

            But what can he do? He just doing something that can makes his mood lift up. At first he also thinks it was stupid and insane, but that’s just how powerful she is to him. Everything that she does determine whether it is a frown or a smile to him. Especially at a time like this, when everything’s has been change.

            A smile and two deep dimples finally appears in Joo-heon’s face when he notices her—her Y/N. Her Y/N is just coming out of the campus with her friends and looks like she’s going somewhere with them. Her laugh launches like a rocket and her two dimples appears, just like his, and it only makes him smile even wider.

            Y/N and her friends are getting closer to his car and he can see her clearly from this side. He notices that she’s wearing eyeliner, blush on, and red tint for her lips—something that she always wear, but he’ll never get tired of it. He could hear a faint of her laughter when she walks passes by his car. Even the voice of her laugh is so contagious for him.

            After he makes sure she’s gone by his sight at the turn, he drive away his car with a big smile on his face, like usual.

            Yes, for the last 3 weeks, he watched her from a far, especially when she’s at her campus. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t have to know.

            He did this because his mind recalls memories when they were still together, how happy she was every time Joo-heon picked her up and ran to his car with a big smile. She’d awarded him with sweets, something that Joo-heon likes.

            Why don’t he just approach her?

            Because the 7 words.

            Because I don’t want to see you again she ever said to him turns in to big deal.

            And why did she say those words?

            Because Joo-heon was a dumb and he hurt her.

          Joo-heon was young and careless at that time. He took everything by granted, including her. He didn’t care how worried she was or how sad she was every time he did something stupid just because he can. He shook off her hands every time she was there to help him. But no matter how ed up he is, she didn’t leave.

            But he did.

            His world crumbled down and she knew it. She always knew him better than anyone, including himself. She just wanted to be there for him, because they’ve promised, but what did he do?

            “I don’t need you so go away.”

            “We’re over, do you hear that clear?”

            …were the words he said to her.

            She couldn’t believe what she heard. She wanted to blame him for being drunk but the fact that he didn’t even drink alcohol at that time only made it worse. He was sober when he said it and she also sober enough to realize that he was meant what he said and he wanted her to go away, so she does.

            “I don’t want to see you again.”

            Because if she did, she afraid that she might forgive him. Because if she did, she might open a chance for him to hurt her again, and the least person she wish to do that is Joo-heon. Because if she did, she might be take him as her problem willingly.

            Life still moves on, time waits for no one, and she survives herself.

            But life gave no justice to Joo-heon.

            After he lost everything, he tried to gather his mind. He places everything on the right place again. His life, his parents, his friends, his job, anything but her. She’s the only puzzle piece that get lost and Joo-heon can’t find it.

            Joo-heon tried to contact her trough Shownu’s girlfriend who also her close friend, but she said that Y/N didn’t want to talk. Joo-heon tried to contact her himself, but soon after, she changed her number and now he lost the track. He also tried to meet her directly, but he was surprised as she gave him a cold look, a look that he never seen before from her.

            He realizes that he can win anything back, but not her. He hurt her. And as a normal response of human being, no one wants to be hurt twice, by the same person.

            So now all that Joo-heon can do is watches her silently. He’ll still waits for her outside her campus as if he picks her up. He’ll still eat their favorite pasta and cake as if he waits for her on their date. He’ll still watches their favorite movie as if they can laugh it off together. He still likes those characters that they used to likes.

            He wants to get her back.

No, he must get her back.

***

September 14^th, 2017

            Joo-heon waits for her outside the university entrance, but now he isn’t inside the car as usual—he stands in front of the entrance with a big smile. Today is different from another day. Today is her day. Joo-heon doesn’t want to think much, he only needs to do what he have done for a long time, but he couldn’t.

            He’s ready to replies her 7 words.

            “Y/N!”

            He knows that her face won’t be good, he already prepared his heart for that. But he don’t care. Her stopping in her track and look at him like he’s an enemy is enough for him.

He walks to her with careful smile.

“What are you doing here?” she asks. Her eyes wanders around.

“Waiting for you to come out.” And I’ve been doing that for weeks but you never know, he adds in his heart.

She looks at him from head to toe. He has been better. At least from his clothes, she knows that he has been better.

“And?”

He smiles. “Happy birthday. I know you don’t want to see me again, but,” he exhales, ready to spits out his 7 words, “I want you back in my life.”

Joo-heon can’t really read her expression, but he stands still on his ground. He have to do this. It’s now or never. He can’t lose her, not now. He had to get back on his life. He had to be her problem again and Joo-heon is more than ready to trouble her.

Please just once more, let me love you once again, just like before.

A sound of a car honk makes her turns her head. Joo-heon follows her eyes. There’s a man in the car shouting, “Hey babe,” and nods to Y/N.

“Oh, Jackson, wait a second.” And once again, she and Joo-heon looks at each other. Joo-heon’s eyes get wide, but he still wait for explanation from her.

“I think you already know the answer.” She coldly replies and she walks away from Joo-heon just like that, once again.

Another 7 words she said to him.

Another 7 words that sent her away from him, once again, just like before.

Joo-heon rubs his neck and pacing back and forth, thinking about the ring that he already prepared in his car.

At this time, for Joo-heon, he thinks it’s easier to die rather than being in this situation. Out of the things that he’d been lost in the past, why it should be her? Why it should be her that he let go? And why it should be her that he can’t get back?

Slowly, Joo-heon gathers himself and walk to his car. He realizes that his 7 words to her had been changed too.

I hope you’re happy with your choice.