A/N:  

hello! today im not late with the chapter lol, i just wanted to update on Christmas. So yea,merry christmas my dudes! Here is the new chapter with bonus 2k words for making u wait one more day haha.
 
Hope u like it :) 

I would talk abt the tragedy that happened a few days ago but... i cant. Ive cried too much to start the circle again so.. yea. I will just say that Jonghyun will be missed. 

--

Baekhyun sits on the thick concrete balcony railing in nothing but his pyjamas and jacket, looking at the morning streets of Seoul at the crack of dawn, completely unbothered by the fact that he is quite a few meters above the ground. The pink-haired man sits there calmly as if he was relaxing on a bench in a park and not on a balcony on the twelfth floor of an apartment complex, his heels hitting the concrete railing as he swings his legs from time to time, fingers drumming along to an unknown melody in his head in the meantime.

Most people would probably think that he is crazy and has a death wish, and they would even try to get him off the railing and back on the ground where it's safe - as his parents had always done when they saw Baekhyun like this back in their flat on fifteenth floor. You could fall down! his mother used to say, but Baekhyun had never shared the fear of the possibility that he could, in fact, fall down and hurt himself, and thus, he ignored his mother's concerns every single time, only assuring her that he is truly alright. However, his assuring wasn't good enough for his parents, and Baekhyun always had to wait until they were gone to sit on the railing and watch the sky above him and busy town under him.

He has never been afraid of heights. It's the exact opposite, actually; Baekhyun loves them, and his perfect relax session includes being somewhere high above the ground. Since he moved in, he hasn't been really able to collect his thoughts while sitting on the balcony because it was way too cold, but today it's rather warm even though the sun is yet to show itself completely, and Baekhyun decided to give it a try. After all, he has a lot to think about and this might help; like it usually does, since Baekhyun is calm enough to make a sense of his racing thoughts.

Today, he even woke up early - surprisingly enough - and since he had around fifteen minutes before having to get ready for work, Baekhyun thought this was a perfect idea.

Well, it could have been, at least.

His plans to relax and sort out his thoughts are rudely interrupted though when Baekhyun feels arms wrapping around his waist, his whole body being pulled backwards only a second later. He yelps in shock and then groans in pain as he falls on the cold tiles, his bottom aching on the exact place it collided with the ground. 

"Wha-" before he can ask anything, the arms that were until now around Baekhyun's body are gone, and the pink-haired man is spun around in the speed light, feeling large hands gripping his shoulders tightly. Baekhyun is ready to curse the person that has done this to him to hell an back, but the words get stuck in his throat when his eyes focus on Chanyeol's face, his neighbour looking very troubled and worried.

"Don't do this," Chanyeol says hurriedly, shaking with Baekhyun slightly. The taller's eyes are wide in panic and the grip on Baekhyun's shoulders seemingly even tightens, upon which Baekhyun winces slightly because now not only his hurts, but his shoulders hurt. Besides, what is Chanyeol even talking about? Baekhyun can only frown in confusion, not getting the situation at all. 

Plus, his thinking session was interrupted, and Baekhyun truly doesn't appreciate it. That's why, his tone is quite unfriendly when he asks, "What are you talking about?" 

"I'm sorry for making your life hell for the past few weeks, but this is not a solution," Chanyeol starts, moving his face so close to Baekhyun's that the shorter can feel his neighbour's breath on his lips. Baekhyun's heart skips a beat and his breath hitches at the close proximity, and even though he would like to move away and put some distance between them, he can't; Chanyeol is holding him in place. "Look, I'm very sorry about being a to you, but I've already apologized and said that I didn't mean it!"

"I-I know?" Baekhyun whispers, gulping. Chanyeol is too close, way too close. As close as he was yesterday, and Baekhyun's heart can't take things like these lightly. His crush has gotten stronger since Chanyeol started being nice to him, and this totally isn't helping. 

That aside... why the is Chanyeol saying all of this? They have already talked about it. And why is he panicking so much? Nothing happened, as far as Baekhyun knows- oh, Baekhyun realizes finally. Did he think I was going to jump? 

Given how stressed out Chanyeol seems to be, apparently yes, he did think that Baekhyun was thinking of attempting suicide. Which is completely wrong, but the pink-haired man can't even blame Chanyeol for thinking such a thing. After all, he would probably think the same if he saw someone sitting on the balcony railing on such a high floor. Baekhyun's relaxing method isn't really common, and Chanyeol must have gotten the shock of his life when he saw Baekhyun like this.

So yes, he doesn't blame Chanyeol for misunderstanding the situation. However, he should correct his neighbour as soon as possible, seeing that Chanyeol is ready to have a panic attack. 

"Chanyeol, this is not-"

"No, listen to me," Chanyeol interrupts him, not letting Baekhyun speak. "If there is anything bothering you, you can come to me. Don't-"

"It's not what you-" Baekhyun tries again, only to be cut of with another light shake from Chanyeol. He frowns, not liking that he isn't even able to speak and actually straight things out, the giant going on an on without even trying to listen for a single second. Is Chanyeol always this stubborn?

"I will help you, I swear I will. I'm a great listener-"

You definitely are, Baekhyun thinks sarcastically just before he pries Chanyeol's hand off his shoulders, holding them in his own instead while staring deep into the giant's eyes as he says, "I was not planning to jump, so calm down." With that said, a wave of silence washes over them, the two men just staring into each others' eyes without saying anything for a while. Baekhyun watches as the panic disappears from those beautiful brown orbs, quickly replaced with relief and then confusion. Chanyeol has question marks dancing in his eyes, and Baekhyun sighs before explaining, "I was not going to jump, and I'm not depressed or anything like that. I was just... sitting there."

Another silence.

And then-

"Who the does that?" he exclaims, but doesn't move away from Baekhyun at all, deciding to yell right into the shorter's face. Baekhyun cringes slightly at the high volume of Chanyeol's voice but stays put, sitting on the cold ground while Chanyeol is scolding him. "You can't do that, for Christ's sake! Are you crazy?" Yes, Baekhyun has heard this already. "One thing is scaring the out of me, but another thing is that you could have actually fallen down."

"Why would I-"

"What if there was suddenly a strong wind or something? What if you lost your balance? You could have died," Chanyeol continues as if Baekhyun didn't say anything. "This is so dangerous, you can't do that! And what even is with your clothes? It's the first day of March, and you're sitting outside with a jacket and pyjamas, Jesus. If you don't fall down, you freeze - which is still leading to you dying, you know? What I'm saying is, don't ever do that again."

Chanyeol stares deeply into Baekhyun's eyes, trying to get Baekhyun to nod his head and promise that he won't ever sit on the balcony railing just like that in the future, but Baekhyun's only response is, "It helps me calm down. I can think that way."

Baekhyun can see that Chanyeol doesn't get him, that he thinks Baekhyun is completely crazy, but it doesn't really matter to the pink-haired man. His parents thought that he is a fool as well, and if Baekhyun didn't care at that time, he is not going to care now, his crush on Chanyeol be damned. 

Maybe thanks to the look Chanyeol is giving him, his eyes saying the ? so clearly, Baekhyun expects him to give him a speech about safety again, but Chanyeol doesn't do that, surprisingly enough. Instead, he asks, "B-But aren't you afraid, though? This is ing twelfth floor."

"I love heights, in fact," Baekhyun chuckles, and Chanyeol still doesn't seem to understand him, but there is something... different in the way his neighbour is looking at him. Everyone who knows about Baekhyun's strange habit of sitting somewhere high and not exactly safe when he needs to sort out his thoughts just looks at him like he is completely out of his mind, but Chanyeol is different. While he looks at Baekhyun as if the pink-haired man was crazy, there is something like a spark of curiosity shining brightly in his big, almond-shaped eyes, as if he was fascinated by Baekhyun while not being able to grasp how can someone like Baekhyun even exist.  

"That's... good," the giant says in the end, and Baekhyun just laughs at how dorky it is. "I mean, loving heights is amazing, but you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Oh? Are you worried about me?" Baekhyun teases, his cheeks just the tiniest shade of pink as he realizes that they are merely a few inches apart and that he's still holding on to Chanyeol's hands. They are so close, almost like yesterday when he was lying on top of Chanyeol and the taller was dangerously close to kissing him - at least, Baekhyun thinks Chanyeol wanted to kiss him, judging by how his eyes lingered on Baekhyun's lips for a few seconds before he moved closer, and the way his arm wrapped around Baekhyun's thin waist. 

Maybe Baekhyun was imagining it all, but he really wants to believe that Chanyeol would have kissed him if they weren't interrupted. After all, he is a dreamer. 

"Of course I am," answering, Chanyeol frowns. A smile appears on Baekhyun's face upon hearing these words, and he is already opening his mouth to say something more when Chanyeol adds, "You are my next-door neighbour, I wouldn't want you hurt. Especially not now when we're already getting along, right?"

And just like that, Baekhyun's foolish dreams about Chanyeol wanting him in any way disappear, his heart shattering into millions of small pieces. Of course, Baekhyun thinks, laughing at himself internally. What did he think Chanyeol would say? That he worries because he cares about Baekhyun, since he likes him or something like that? What a stupid thought.

Yesterday it was just Baekhyun imagining stuff because he wanted it all so badly to happen. He was imagining things instead of seeing the real truth that was out there for everyone to see; Chanyeol would never like him, not in the way Baekhyun wants. Baekhyun should have gotten the hint, should have understood right away. Chanyeol wasn't exactly subtle about not being interested, and Baekhyun was just too blinded by his stupid crush to see it. Now, however, he can see it crystal clear. 

He doesn't want me. 

Baekhyun wishes he would listen to Sehun from time to time instead of getting his hopes up. Maybe he would end up hurt lesser times, this way. 

"Yeah, you're right," Baekhyun laughs, the sound so incredibly fake to his own ears, but Chanyeol seems to believe that Baekhyun's laughter is real, and that's all that matters. Seeing and hearing Chanyeol laugh back in that cute, dorky way is all that matters. 

It's quite sad, Baekhyun thinks with a smile still on his face as he subtly distances himself from Chanyeol, letting go of the giant's hands as he moves further away. He doesn't let his happy mask fall and tries to ignore the stinging pain in his chest, telling himself that he doesn't even have a reason to be sad because Chanyeol not wanting him was obvious from the start but... it still hurts. 

It ing hurts, that the first person who has ever looked at Baekhyun like he's not completely crazy for liking to sit on the balcony railing on the twelfth floor - even stared at Baekhyun in something similar to fascination - is not someone who would ever like him back. For a second back there Baekhyun thought Chanyeol might like him back for real, at least a little bit, especially when his tall neighbour looked at him with that pretty spark in his beautiful, brown orbs instead of judging the out of him like any other person. Baekhyun's heart even skipped a beat, strange warmness spreading through his whole body, happiness bubbling in his stomach. 

At that moment, Baekhyun felt like his crush wasn't just an innocent crush anymore, but maybe something more. Baekhyun, stupidly enough, also fleetingly thought that Chanyeol could be the one. 

So foolish of me. 

Despite the pain though, Baekhyun keeps on smiling like nothing happened, agreeing to have a quick morning coffee together with Chanyeol when his neighbour offers, even though the only thing the pink-haired man truly wants is to go back to his apartment and cry his eyes out. Maybe call Sehun while he's at it too, tell him that they should go out tonight.

Or maybe Baekhyun should just call Jongin and ask him to come and make him forget about the whole world for a short while again. 

The fact that Baekhyun isn't feeling okay today doesn't escape a single employee of the bakery, the pink-haired man's fake smiles too obvious for their knowing eyes. The customers can't see it because Baekhyun is quite a good pretender and his smile is too charming even when it's not exactly real, but the ones working here sense the change in Baekhyun's mood right away, the exact moment he steps into the shop. All three look at him with worried expressions as Baekhyun takes off his coat and greets them, his bright grin not reaching his eyes like it usually does. However, apart from Sehun, none of them is brave enough to say something about it, at least not yet, afraid that their concern would break Baekhyun's happy mask along with his heart. 

Every employee of the bakery is good friends with Baekhyun. It's not really anything surprising, since Baekhyun is a very easy-going person and is so friendly that nobody can resist his charm, but it's still worth mentioning, considering that Baekhyun is, in fact, their boss. Not every person can be lucky enough to have a boss so nice, caring and understanding. And since Baekhyun is such a perfect boss and a perfect person in general, his employees can't help but care about him strongly, wanting to always see a smile on his pretty face. That's why, seeing him like that - clearly hurt but pretending to be okay - is making everyone feel incredibly bad. 

Especially Sehun who is his best friend and, unlike others, knows what is the cause of Baekhyun's sadness. He knows even without Baekhyun having to tell him because it's been so obvious from the start that this time will come; the time when Baekhyun understands that his feelings for Chanyeol won't be returned because Chanyeol... just isn't for him. Baekhyun deserves better, in Sehun's eyes. 

"Hey," Sehun is the last one to greet Baekhyun, coming up to the shorter man and smiling down at him, so gentle and soft and knowing. It makes Baekhyun's fake grin disappear right away, the too-bright smile faltering the more they stare at each other, and it's not long before Baekhyun's eyes start watering with tears, his lower lip quivering. It takes so little to make him cry, Baekhuyn knows, but he really can't do anything about how emotional he is.

Seeing the unshed tears in Baekhyun's eyes, Sehun is quick to take Baekhyun by the hand and make his way to the back of the shop where the changing room is, the pink-haired man feeling the ache in his heart grow even more when Sehun touches him so tenderly, as if to say that he's here and everything's going to be alright. The other two employees don't try to stop them; they just follow the two with their eyes in silence, sadly looking at Baekhyun's back with worry, trusting Sehun that he'll make their dear boss feel at least a little bit better.

When the two of them close the door behind themselves after stepping inside the changing room, Sehun doesn't wait another second before he envelopes his best friend in a tight hug, whispering to Baekhyun's ear that if he feels like crying then he should just cry and let it all out. As if on cue, Baekhyun lets out a quiet sob, clutching onto Sehun's clothes as he buries his head in the crook of the taller's neck, needing to feel Sehun's closeness as much as possible right now. Baekhyun doesn't have the strength to talk, not yet. 

In situations like this, Sehun never tells Baekhyun the infamous I told you so. Never once has Sehun done that. He always just holds Baekhyun as long as it's needed, whispering kind words into his ear while Baekhyun cries his eyes out because of another stupid man that, as Sehun will always say, isn't deserving of Baekhyun's love. It's somehow sadly fascinating how in all those twenty two years of Baekhyun's life there was not a single person that hasn't hurt the pink-haired man when it comes to relationships or crushes. 

"Why is it always like that?" Baekhyun whispers into Sehun's neck, voice so broken that it makes Sehun's heart hurt. "Why can't I actually like someone who will like me back?"

"Baekhyun-"

"Why does nobody want me?" the shorter's voice breaks, and Sehun only hugs him tighter, pulling him closer. 

"That's not true," Sehun says, his voice gentle but certain. "Don't say things like that."

Baekhyun just shakes his head and doesn't say anything more, crying into Sehun's shoulder like so many times before. His tears are soaking the taller's shirt but neither really cares, the two of them both falling into silence once again, the only sound filling the quietness of the room being Baekhyun's quiet sobs. 

Sehun wants to ask what happened, wants to know what exactly Chanyeol said that has made Baekhyun like this, but doesn't feel like it would be appropriate, not yet. He has to swallow the urge to know down, forgetting about it for a while until Baekhyun collects himself again, which will most likely take a few minutes. The curiosity is eating him up, but it's still not as important as comforting Baekhyun, and so Sehun focuses on hugging Baekhyun tighter instead of thinking about how Baekhyun's neigbhour ed up this time. 

Baekhyun is sent home by Sehun after they've talked, his protests falling on deaf ears. Even the other employees want Baekhyun to go home and leave it to them for today, agreeing with Sehun who said that Baekhyun should just go back to bed and rest. The pink-haired man wants to stay at work so badly, not seeing how resting will help with the pain in his heart, but he has to listen to everyone in the end, since Sehun practically pushes him out of the bakery. Although Baekhyun wants to be grumpy about the fact that they basically throw him out of his own shop, he decides to let it go for once and catch up on some sleep instead. There is not much he can do after being banned from somewhere by Sehun - his best friend having the final say in such situations.  

And so, Baekhyun goes back home and strips out of his clothes completely, climbing into his bed and wrapping up his body in the warm blankets. He hopes that he can fall asleep quickly because as of now he is alone with his thoughts, and he doesn't like it one bit. Having no comfort of Sehun's arms around him and his shoulder to cry on makes Baekhyun feel so incredibly lonely, and even the warm blankets and soft bed aren't enough of a compensation. 

Baekhyun closes his eyes, wishing that the sleepiness will wash over him soon.

While desperately wanting to fall asleep, Baekhyun thinks of everything that Sehun has said to him during their fifteen minutes talk that followed after Baekhyun's crying session. He knows that he should probably think of happy thoughts if he wants to be less sad, but Baekhyun can't help it, especially when one thing his best friend said is still on his mind.

Considering all you've said, I don't think you don't stand a chance with him, to be honest. He didn't outright reject you, too, Sehun has told Baekhyun. The pink-haired man couldn't believe that Oh Sehun, the guy that had hated Chanyeol since the first time he heard of him, was telling Baekhyun such a thing. Baekhyun even wanted to tell Sehun to stop giving him false hopes because that's what had started this in the first place, but then he saw how bitter Sehun was about it actually saying it and realized that his best friend was serious. 

Just as Baekhyun's face lightened up in hope, Sehun was quick to add; Still, I would be much happier if you just... tried to forget about him. I don't have a good feeling about this. 

But the thing is, if Baekhyun could get rid of his feelings for Chanyeol that easily, he would've done it already. The problem here is that every time Baekhyun decides to let Chanyeol go in whatever sense, Chanyeol suddenly comes running back to him. And it confuses Baekhyun to no end. 

At the beginning, when Chanyeol was so damn hostile and rude, rejecting every attempt at conversation Baekhyun had initiated and Baekhyun had decided to stop trying after some time? Even throwing his neighbour against the elevator's wall after Chanyeol was just becoming too much? Chanyeol suddenly started being friendly, holding the door for Baekhyun, taking the stairs instead of him and he even washed Baekhyun's scarf and gave it back to him.

The second time, when Chanyeol snapped completely after Baekhyun was just trying to cheer him up with a cake on Valentine's Day? Chanyeol went knocking on Baekhyun's balcony door not even a minute later, wanting to apologize. 

The third time, when Baekhyun was sure that Chanyeol would never want him and thus he decided to move on somehow? The bathroom incident happened and Chanyeol truly looked like he was enjoying holding Baekhyun, even looked like he was going to kiss the pink-haired man. 

He wonders if Chanyeol is able to sense that Baekhyun is trying to move on from him, and that's when he barges into Baekhyun's life, chaining Baekhyun to him without really knowing over and over again. And Baekhyun, so stupidly, always lets Chanyeol in again. 

Because Baekhyun always forgives, always stays, always comes back and always lets people into his heart even though there is a high risk of him getting hurt. That's just how he is. 

However, it would be nice if, for a change, someone came back to him and actually staid for him. 

Someone loved him.  

Jongin comes around five in the evening, and Baekhyun doesn't wait a second before he throws himself at the man, smashing their lips together in a desperate kiss. He could be considered shameless for jumping a man in the hallway where people can see them - if there were any - but he truly doesn't care now. He needs this way too much to hold himself back, and he has already waited almost all day for Jongin to be free and come here. 

"I'm glad you came," Baekhyun says when they part, not giving Jongin time to say anything back as he goes for another kiss, this time deeper. He is desperate to feel someone's hands on his body, desperate for someone to give him love at least in this way. And Jongin is perfect for it, the man not only handsome but also so ing good in bed. Last time, Baekhyun tried to not make any sounds, but this time he doesn't care if Chanyeol hears. For all Baekhyun knows, Chanyeol shouldn't even be home yet, this neighbour mentioning something about staying at friend's tonight. 

So he's free to be as loud as he wants, other neighbours be damned. 

"Baekhyun, I need-" Jongin attempts to tell the pink-haired man something, but Baekhyun doesn't let him, pulling the taller into his flat swiftly and closing the door behind them. A second later, Jongin is pushed against the very same door, Baekhyun ing his coat as he kisses his jaw hungrily, loving the sharp lines of it.

His fingers work quick, and just as Baekhyun is about to strip Jongin off of the coat, his companion finally succeeds in interrupting him, "Baekhyun, I can't," Jongin says, grabbing both of Baekhyun's hands, holding him just tight enough to stop his movement, but not enough to hurt him. Baekhyun looks up at him with confusion in his eyes, silently asking for Jongin to elaborate. And so Jongin does, "I-I've gotten together with Soo. Today. So I can't do this."

"O-Oh," as if he has gotten an electric shock, Baekhyun jumps away from Jongin, realizing that he kissed a man who is already in a relationship with someone else. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that- I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Actually, I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner," Jongin smiles at him apologetically as he takes off his coat, throwing it on the hanger before he steps closer to Baekhyun whose face has turned quite pink in embarrassment in the meantime. Immediately, Baekhyun moves away and turns around, not being able to look at Jongin because of how stupid he feels at the moment, cursing himself for jumping the man without asking if it's alright beforehand. Maybe if he wasn't so desperate to get laid, they wouldn't end up in this ridiculous, awkward situation.

Luckily enough, Jongin knows how to deal with awkward situations, "Anyway... let's have dinner. I bought enough chicken for both of us, so..."

--

Chanyeol's papers fall to the ground and his mouth hangs open as he sees the scene in front of him, eyes wide open in shock. He doesn't make any move to pick up his notes though, only standing there in the hallway, frozen, staring at the now-closed door of Baekhyun's apartment with an incredibly uneasy feeling seizing his heart. A big knot creates in his stomach and his mouth go dry, and as if all that isn't enough, Chanyeol feels like the breath was knocked out of him.

All that thanks to seeing Baekhyun throwing himself at Jongin, kissing the guy senseless before pulling him into his apartment with ease. Baekhyun looked eager, way too eager, and Chanyeol doesn't have to be a genius to figure out what is going to happen between the two now. 

They are going to sleep together for sure. Again.

And somehow, the thought of Baekhyun having with Jongin is making Chanyeol very, very uncomfortable. Chanyeol could say that it's because he is definitely going to hear everything, but if he had to be honest with himself, it's not only that. Baekhyun being touched by Jongin, being kissed by Jongin, being ed by Jongin; it's all making his skin crawl for a reason, and there are all kinds of strange feelings crushing into Chanyeol's body like waves. Chanyeol is reluctant to say it, even think about it, but one of those feelings is definitely hatred of some kind. Hatred for Jongin that ignited out of nowhere when he saw the guy being kissed by Baekhyun.

He feels so uneasy, and he regrets that he decided to come back home tonight. Truly, Chanyeol should have stayed at Jongdae's. That way, he would have spared himself of this sight and of this... unwanted feelings. Still, Chanyeol doesn't feel like going back outside and either walk all the way to Jongdae's again or crash at some coffee shop down the street until he is sure the two are done with their business, and so he forces himself to swallow down the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach and tells himself not to care. 

Frowning and finally breaking out of his tranz, Chanyeol bends down to pick the papers from the floor, and he huffs in frustration as he makes his way toward his apartment. Whatever, Chanyeol tells himself, trying to make the image of Baekhyun's body being ravished by Jongin disappear. He shouldn't even care, to be honest. Baekhyun is nothing to him, a mere neighbour with whom he finally has good relations after getting his together. They are not together in any way, they are not even friends, so there is no reason for Chanyeol to feel like that. 

Like he wants to go to Baekhyun's apartment and throw Jongin out... maybe replace Jongin's lips on Baekhyun's with his own, if possible.

Groaning at his own thoughts, Chanyeol opens the door to his flat and shut them loudly behind himself, throwing the papers on the small hallway bench without much care. He strips off of his coat and hangs it on one of the hangers and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He doesn't hear any sounds coming from Baekhyun's apartment yet which is only good, but he dreads the time when those sinful sounds come... caused by Jongin. 

Chanyeol doesn't think twice before fishing his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans, dialling Jongdae's number and flopping down on the couch in the living room as it rings. His fingers drum against the surface of the couch, then draw an unknown pattern on it while he waits for Jongdae to pick up, which seems like forever even though it's only a few seconds. 

Finally, after four rings, Jongdae picks up, "Have you forgotten something?" he asks, chuckling. 

"No, I haven't," Chanyeol rolls his eyes at the greeting. He can't blame Jongdae for asking that question right away though, since ninety percent of time Chanyeol does call him because he has forgotten something. Chanyeol is quite a forgetful person, though - he even forgot his own birthday once when he was younger, and he had to have a notepad for important days to keep up with all of them if he didn't want to sadden his friends and family. He still has the notepad, and checks it at the beginning of every week just to make sure he will forget about someone's birthday or something. 

"Okay, fine, that's a relief. I surely wouldn't be up for bringing you your stuff again, I'm already and very ready to take a bath. And no, you are not invited."

"I surely wouldn't come even if I was invited," Chanyeol says but laughs, feeling his mood being lifted a little by Jongdae's stupid humor. 

"Anyway, what are you calling me for?" he asks, voice sounding nonchalant but Chanyeol knows that he cares and is curious about why Chanyeol is calling him. 

But the thing is, Chanyeol isn't really sure why he called Jongdae. It was just an impuls. However, he doesn't want his friend to just wait on the other side of the line, so he blurts out, "I saw Baekhyun kissing the Jongin guy I had told you about before."

"...And?"

"And they are most likely going to ."

Another silence from Jongdae, then another, "...And?" followed shortly by, "I mean, why do you care?"

"Because-" Chanyeol stops before he can give Jongdae a reason, not really able to find the right words. He hasn't made sense of his emotions yet and, as previously mentioned, him calling Jongdae was just because of an impuls, and Chanyeol doesn't know why he did it. He guesses that it was because he wanted to tell his friend about the misfortune of being there when the kiss between Jongin and Baekhyun happened, but he has already done that. However, he doesn't have the answer as to why he is so triggered by it. 

"Because...?" Jongdae pries, and he uses this familiar, strange teasing tone. Chanyeol hates it because when Jongdae uses this tone it's as if he knew more than Chanyeol himself, and he is just enjoying Chanyeol being stupid enough to figure it all out. 

"It just makes me uncomfortable," Chanyeol replies in the end, voice bitter. "I don't like Jongin and the thought of him-"

"Having Baekhyun instead of you is disturbing?"

"Yes!" then, as Chanyeol realizes what he has just said, he quickly changes his answer to, "No, of course not!" it's too late, though, and Jongdae only laughs at the other side of the line. Chanyeol needs to fix this, or either Jongdae will get the wrong idea, and so he starts again, "It's not like that, really. It's just- ugh, just-"

"Why not admit that you want him for yourself?" Jongdea interrupts again, and his voice echos a little this time. He is probably already in the bathroom. "I mean, what would have happened if I didn't come yesterday?"

"Nothing," Chanyeol replies curtly, even though he is not so sure himself. After all, he really wanted to kiss Baekhyun yesterday, no matter how bad it sounds. He wanted to touch him too, so badly that when he thinks about it now he suddenly feels at loss for not having the midget under his arm, like he did yesterday. To be honest, his head still spins a little when he remembers how close they were with Baekhyun's scent lingering in the air and numbing Chanyeol's senses. 

"Maybe. Or maybe not. My point is, the guy is on your mind whether you want it or not," Jongdae says casually, and Chanyeol splutters. "Do you really think you can lie to me and say that he isn't, you idiot? I know you."

"He's not," Chanyeol still insists, brows furrowing once again. "If you've forgotten, I'm still not over Kyungsoo. There is no way that Baekhyun of all people would be in my mind instead."

Which is a lie, Chanyeol knows. Today's morning has proven this.

Having morning coffee on the balcony was something he had always done with Kyungsoo. They would sit behind the small table on two small metal chairs, talking at the break of dawn and just enjoying the moment before going to their classes, hot, black coffees in their hands. The table they shared almost every morning is still on the balcony even though Chanyeol wanted to throw it out at some point, leaving it there only after Jongdae complied that Chanyeol can't simply discard everything that reminds him of Kyungsoo. 

And today, Chanyeol shared his morning coffee with Baekhyun at the exact same table, him being the one t prepare it for both of them - Baekhyun's coffee with tons of sugar and milk because the pink-haired man likes his coffee sweet. They didn't talk that much, since Baekhyun was not that communicative today, but they enjoyed the sun breaking the sky together in a comfortable silence. It was very pleasant, Chanyeol has to say. 

Chanyeol also thought that Baekhyun was very pretty when he was still half-asleep, eyes not fully open but a small smile on his lips as he stared at the awaking Seoul. 

At that time, when they were just sitting there in silence with Chanyeol stealing glances at Baekhyun more often than not, Chanyeol didn't think of Kyungsoo even a single time. He only thought of Baekhyun, wondering what was going on in the pink-haired man's head as looked at the sky with that small, pretty smile.  He also fleetingly wondered if Baekhyun was also thinking about what happened in the bathroom yesterday... about what could have happened, possibly. 

"You don't have to be completely over Kyungsoo to admit that you are starting to like someone else."

"I'm not starting to like him," Chanyeol shakes his head. "I've already told you, I was just because-"

"Then find someone. Even though your ears are quite a turn off, I'm sure you can find someone to if you are ," Jongdae is starting to sound annoyed with Chanyeol, his voice frustrated. And since angry Jongdae is nothing pleasant to deal with, Chanyeol decides to not call Jongdae out on insulting his ears. 

Instead, he just says a grumpy, "Thanks."

"Okay, sorry," Jongdae sighs. "But really, Chanyeol. From everything you've told me, you can't blame me for thinking that you are starting to like him, can you? And now you're calling me all triggered because you saw Baekhyun kiss someone else, too. You can't possibly think that I'm gonna believe you are jealous as of this Jongin guy just because you are , especially when you could go out and find someone for the night. So, for 's sake, stop being so stubborn and accept that you don't want anything else; you want Baekhyun."

"But I'm... I-"

"I'm not telling you to marry him, I'm just telling you to accept the possibility that you like him," Jongdae says, this time no harshness in his voice. "And you should do it soon because that Jongin can steal him away from you if you keep on being in denial." 

Chanyeol is speechless. He doesn't know what to say because what Jongdae is saying actually makes sense, even though Chanyeol doesn't want to believe it, mostly because he was so sure that Kyungsoo was the only one in his heart, that he still isn't over the guy even though it's been a few months now. The possibility of Baekhyun being the one to replace Kyungsoo in his heart was just... unimaginable, but Jongdae seems to be dead set on thinking that Chanyeol likes Baekhyun.

And Chanyeol... doesn't know. He doesn't know if he likes Baekhyun.

Yes, he thinks of Baekhyun as attractive and if he has to be completely honest, he would most likely want to sleep with Baekhyun too. He would want to kiss him as well because his next-door neighbour's lips are rather pretty, looking so inviting that Chanyeol almost let himself be drawn in yesterday. Touching Baekhyun also seems appealing, especially since Baekhyun's skin looks so damn soft and just begs to be marked. So yes, there is definitely attraction and lust, and judging by how Baekhyun looked at him in that bathroom when he was lying on top of Chanyeol, Baekhyun feels the same. He might like Chanyeol too.

Chanyeol can't lie and tell that it's only physical. He finds Baekhyun interesting, almost fascinating. There is so much more to his personality that Chanyeol initially thought, and now he just wants to know more and more about the pink-haired man, wanting to find out how his mind works. He wants to find out what makes him blush in embarrassment and what makes him sad, or angry. He wants to know if Baekhyun has another crazy habit like sitting on the railing on the twelfth floor of the apartment complex, and he also wants to find out what is Baekhyun afraid for. 

He wants to know things about him.

But still, "I don't know, Jongdae. Really. I still... miss Kyungsoo."

"I know you do. Of course you do," Chanyeol can't see his friend's face, but he is sure that Jongdae is smiling fondly. "I'm just-... I'm saying that Baekhyun won't stay single forever, and he might be taken by the time you decide what you truly feel. So if you feel something, stop denying it and accept it instead. And I know you do because if you didn't, you wouldn't care about Jongin having his way with him as we speak."

The last sentence makes Chanyeol cringe quite visibly, and that's enough of an answer.

"I-" Chanyeol starts again, but he stops himself again as disturbing thoughts start flooding his mind. Jongin is truly having a taste of Baekhyun as I speak with Jongdae, he realizes, and the realization makes him feel so uncomfortable that instead of arguing with Jongdae about his feelings for Baekhyun, he stands up from the couch and ends the call with, "Call you later."

Chanyeol is very impulsive. It was proven many times before, and it also caused a lot of problems for Chanyeol in the past. 

It happens more often than not, Chanyeol not thinking about what he says or what he does because he is acting upon his heart's wishes, and that's why he usually can't explain his actions when he is asked about it later. Jongdae is used to it and teases Chanyeol about it all the time, and Baekhyun has been able to see the impulsive side of him too already. It's not exactly a good thing, Chanyeol knows, but it saved his skin as many times as it has ed everything up.

And as Chanyeol runs out of his apartment and makes his way to Baekhyun's, knocking on the pink-haired man's door with all his might, he wonders what it'll be this time - if it will everything up, or if it will save his skin in the long run. 

However, the most important thing now is stopping Jongin and Baekhyun before they .

The door opens a few seconds later, a very startled Baekhyun with an expression full of panic appearing. "Did something happen?" he asks right away, worrying about the tall visitor thanks to how desperate Chanyeol's knocks were. 

To Chanyeol's surprise, it doesn't look like anything naughty is happening here.

Baekhyun is not and doesn't look disheveled at all, unlike what Chanyeol expected, lips not wet with saliva and face not flushed. In the background, he can see Jongin who is eating chicken behind the table while sitting on the floor of Baekhyun's living room, fully dressed in tight pants and black shirt, hair styled perfectly like they were not touched at all. 

Everything looks... normal. 

"Uhm, I-" why does everything look normal? He saw how Baekhyun threw himself at Jongin, dragging him into his apartment like a teenager, so why are they just... eating? Not like Chanyeol protests. In fact, he is actually internally happy to find them just eating instead of doing something else, but still. There is no way he had misunderstood the situation, that kiss Baekhyun had gifted Jongin with was everything but innocent, so... what? 

"Yeah?" Baekhyun still looks very worried, small eyes wide and staring at Chanyeol intensely. 

"Well, I was just-" think of something Chanyeol, come on. "I just wanted to ask if you don't want to... have dinner with me today?"

"That's why you were banging on my door like there was a fire?" Baekhyun chuckles, visibly relaxing after finding out nothing dangerous is happening. 

"I'm sure he really, really wants to have dinner with you, then," Jongin supplies from the back, chuckling. He makes eye-contact with Chanyeol when Chanyeol looks behind Baekhyun's shoulder, and the guy is looking so cocky and so damn proud of his comment that Chanyeol can only frown at him. Jongin's smile only widens, and he bites into his chicken, all too pleased with himself. His eyes are clearly saying that he knows what's going on, that he understands the situation and why Chanyeol came, almost knocking Baekhyun's door down in the process. 

Chanyeol really, really dislikes the guy, he decides. Jongin can be handsome, but he is the biggest on the planet for sure, enjoying Chanyeol's struggling to the fullest. 

When he looks back at Baekhyun, Chanyeol sees a faint blush coloring his cheeks, and the taller's heart skips a beat because Baekhyun is so... so damn cute. Chanyeol wants to se pinch those cheeks. 

"Then, uhm.." Baekhyun clears his throat, half-assedly covering his face with his hand to hide his blush. "Come in..? We have enough food so..."

And even though Chanyeol feels so damn uncomfortable with Jongin smiling as if he knew his deepest thoughts, Chanyeol is glad to be invited inside by Baekhyun. 

He is even more glad when he realizes that Jongin and Baekhyun were just eating dinner instead of doing other things.