To: the one who sh00k me

I might have reached a stage whereby I will do anything just to get your validation and your attention. I have no idea what draws me to you but I miss you a lot, your warmth, your constant encouragement and your honesty. I miss you so much for more that what you were as a physical entity, you represented my first online Friend, my most unique friendship, a confidant, an advisor, an amazing person.

I can't believe the way things turned out and idek why it turned out this way and i keep telling myself to move on. That you are not worth it, that you will never care about me and that I don't matter to you so I should stop wasting time. The gospel truth had been spoken but I can't follow it. I can't follow it because it is you. It is you who rule my thoughts without realising. Ur change in profile picture, status, every single movement of yours I can find out without you knowing matters to me.

It reminds me you are alive, reminds me you are happy, reminds me that I care about you greatly. I know you won't see this, I know this dosent matter to you but I wish you all the best in what you do. That you find love, find happiness in your work, find people that truly deserve you unlike me. Idk what I did wrong, idk what went wrong but all I know is you will find someone right. Someone that will get you so emotional that it injects a whole new perspective into your otherwise sad life. I wish you all the best, I miss you but it's okay.

Promise me you will be happy, promise me you don't hate me, promise me you will forget me, then I'm okay. Pretend I never existed, pretend nothing happened, pretend no one hurt you ever. Promise me your past won't stop you from loving and pursuing happiness. Promise me you won't think about how annoying and gross I am. Promise me you will smile and find a job that you deserve. Promise me one day our paths will cross and we could go back to how we were. Promise me one day we meet and you forgot who I am and we can restart all over again. I will tweet less, text less, listen more, care more, be different. I won't be the same and maybe that way the ending would be different. I might love you but it's not important. My love won't help you in your life so ignore me, focus on the things that truly matter to you. You do you, stay happy, stay strong, stay amazing. I love you and so do a lot of pple in your life. Don't give up and one day a good job, a better person will enter your life. And that's when you will feel best about urself, about life, about everything. Never forget that feeling, keep it in a photo. So even with dementia, in your rocking chair, you may not remember why you smiled so wide in the frame. But the rush of excitement, the enthusiasm to cherish every moment in life, such spirit and feelings won't be forgotten. They will remain deeply imbedded in your brain and leave you smiling. I'm rambling I'm sorry but maybe you would read this. Maybe you would comment below about how you felt affected by this, maybe there will be telepathy and my words truly affect you. or maybe it won't. Maybe you won't even open it. But that's alright, I said my piece, I said what I kept within myself for months, I'm thankful for that. With that, I end this rambling piece of crap and hope you are happy now.

Regards,
te echo de menos.