Say Yes

Jessica Jung x Kim Taeyeon [Taengsic]

Part II

 

“Hey, have you seen her?”

 

“Yes,” Taeyeon smiles softly, “She looks really beautiful.”

 

“She always does,” Yuri says as she grins at her best-woman.

 

Taeyeon swallows the pain that surfaces at Yuri’s words. They were a reminder that Jessica was not hers, but Yuri’s bride to be.

 

Yuri fiddles with the bowtie around her neck for the nth time, adjusting it out of nervous habit.

 

“Stop that, Yul,” Taeyeon strides over and gives her best friend a thorough once over, “You look like the perfect bride, quit fussing.”

 

“I can’t believe I’m getting married…”

 

“Well I can, I was there when you proposed you idiot.”

 

Yuri grins at her with a dopey expression on her face, clearly holding the memory with fond affection, and Taeyeon wonders if this was how Jessica remembered the moment too. She swallows guiltily—that was Jessica’s memory to keep and she had no right to think about it.

 

“You’re a great friend, to me, to Jessica—actually more so to Jessica,” Yuri pats Taeyeon’s back fondly and Taeyeon clenches her jaw, hoping Yuri didn’t realise just how true her words were.

 

“You don’t need to say it, I know I’m the best third wheel you guys will ever have.” Taeyeon buries her hands into her now empty pockets—having given Jessica her gift.

 

“Honestly, you two are so close I feel like the third wheel, despite being the fiancée.”

 

To Taeyeon, Yuri’s words begin to sound faintly like a mockery of her situation, and Taeyeon doesn’t want—no, doesn’t need—today to be tainted with her own unnecessary emotions, so she focuses on her friend's feelings instead. Yuri had begun to pace back and forth across the room, having replaced her bowtie fiddling with a new nervous habit.

 

“Yul, as the real third wheel, I want to say stop freaking out about getting married—even Jessica was pretty calm when I visited.”

 

At the mention of her bride, Yuri immediately stops.

 

“Oh, okay then. I guess if she’s calm, I should be too.”

 

Taeyeon fights back a soft smile, as her friend relaxes, the tension slowly melting away from rigid shoulders. She knows half of Yuri’s nervousness was attributed to her worrying about how Jessica was faring, and so by telling Yuri the white lie, her friend would be no doubt, a lot calmer.

 

“Have you got everything sorted, Yul? Vows? Rings?"

 

Yuri nods.

 

“Then it’s just a waiting game until ShowTime.”

/

Taeyeon watches as the priest drones on, reciting the lines from his thick book at a snail-crawling pace, painfully stretching the moment out.

 

“Do you, Kwon Yuri, take Jessica Sooyeon Jung, to be your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?”

 

Yuri pauses and with eyes solely focused on Jessica, smiles as she affirms her love, and vocalises her devotion.

 

“I do.”

 

The priest turns to Jessica, once again, beginning the passage, and Taeyeon swallows against the tightness in , ignoring the dull ache in her chest.

 

This was it, this was when Jessica Jung officially became Jessica Kwon. 

 

“Do you, Jessica Sooyeon Jung, take Kwon Yuri, to be your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?”

 

There’s a long silence—stretching out in a way that makes it seem as though it will never end.

 

“I want it.”

 

“It’s I do, Jessica,” Yuri whispers jokingly, tone filled with mirth, and Taeyeon watches as Jessica’s face pales at the realisation of her decision and the implications of the words she’d just uttered.

 

In a way, this was a joke, but it wasn’t remotely funny.

 

“I-I want it.” Jessica repeats, her voice shaking, but the foundations of her sentiments are solid and it’s Taeyeon that finds herself panicking. Her hands are the ones that are trembling and a bolt of realisation hits her, travelling from the top of her head, all the way down to her feet, rooting her in place.

 

Confusion, spreads across Yuri’s face and through the crowd; slowly at first—in the small twitch of Yuri’s eyebrows and a few mute whispers—before quickly gathering momentum—becoming a widening of eyes and a chorus of voices that rise up, filling the hall.

 

Jessica shifts almost imperceptibly, her body turning a few degrees to the left—a small but significant movement that does not go unnoticed. Jessica’s eyes flies past Yuri’s tall form and settles on the girl beside her.

 

The gaze that lands on Taeyeon is loaded and carrying such weight that Taeyeon almost buckles under it, finding it hard to breathe; impossibly dry.

 

After a moment, the rest of the world finally follows Jessica’s line of vision—seemingly always a step behind—and like Jessica, their gaze lands on Taeyeon.

 

Someone in the crowd gasps loudly, but silence descends again as no one looks away, transfixed by the horrifying events that were unfolding in front of their eyes—a train wreck they couldn’t look away from.

 

Yuri is the first to move, jerking back so sharply as she stumbles, knees weak.

 

“What…? Jessica?”

 

Everyone holds their breath collectively, as the tension mounts and mounts.

 

“Taeyeon.” Jessica whispers shakily, but the name sounds impossibly loud, echoing endlessly in the silence.

 

All Taeyeon can hear is Jessica’s desperate plea: You promised me, and suddenly the world cracks under Taeyeon’s feet, fault lines opening and everything splits at the seams. Her heart beat races, thumping loudly in her eardrums, drowning out the sudden commotion and uproar that pierces the silence.

 

Everything fades away, blurring as it shifts out of focus, until all Taeyeon can see is Jessica—her tear-stained pretty face, heartbreakingly beautiful even amongst this chaos.

 

In a way, Taeyeon should feel guilty—for indirectly ruining this for her two best friends.

 

But she can’t, and for some unfathomable reason, she’s relieved.

 

Taeyeon steps forward, breaking free of the chains that kept her in place, crossing the boundaries she’d set for herself, and fulfilling the promise she’d made to Jessica. She’s vaguely aware of Yuri standing stupefied off to the side, betrayal colouring her face ashen grey and for a second, Taeyeon almost falters.

 

But then Jessica’s in her personal space, crashing into her and winding arms around her shoulders. Taeyeon instinctively slides her arms around Jessica’s waist to steady the two of them—like she had always done.

 

“Oh-oh my god!” Someone in the room shouts.

 

If the situation wasn’t clear, it was now—as clear as the pale blue crystal of Jessica’s necklace.

 

Taeyeon's vaguely aware that the guests were being ushered out of the venue amidst the confusion and outrage.

 

“It’s not what it looks like, but I’m still sorry, Yuri.” Jessica says remorsefully, genuinely looking anguished, “I can’t do this—I can’t do us. I didn’t realise it until I was there on the cusp of—”

 

“I don’t get it—you and Taeyeon? How long…?”

 

“She’s not cheating on you, Yuri.” Taeyeon states calmly, drawing in a deep breath, “We’re not together, if that’s what you think.”

 

“But you want to be.”

 

Taeyeon remains mute.

 

She couldn’t speak for Jessica, but for herself, Yuri’s statement wasn’t wrong. Taeyeon had wanted Jessica for longer than she could remember. Her feelings for Jessica had grown slowly, over days, months or perhaps years. She hadn’t even known what was happening, until she was already hopelessly in love with the other girl. The unassuming seed of affection in her heart, had grown, transforming into a flower in full blossom, its roots deeply buried in her heart.

 

And of course, when she had finally realised, Yuri and Jessica were already together.

 

So yes, Taeyeon acknowledges that her feelings may have had a tiny influence on her actions, but she still wasn’t doing this for herself—she was doing this for Jessica.

 

Yuri, Jessica and her—they may have had all been best friends, but it was Taeyeon who could always read Jessica best.

 

And she’d seen the growing uncertainty in Jessica’s eyes, saw it in the trembling in Jessica’s shoulders, in the seemingly permanent creases upon her face, and in the thickness in her voice whenever Jessica had spoken of the relationship or rather, engagement.

 

Like a good friend, Taeyeon had been supportive, pushing aside her own feelings in order to fulfil her duty, giving out quiet reassurance to the couple—assuaging their fears and easing their nerves.

 

That was until last night, in her drunken stupor, Taeyeon had opened a door in their relationship that wasn’t as easily nor as readily closed.

 

She and Jessica had stumbled back after the bachelorette party, Jessica’s arm slung around her shoulders, and Taeyeon hadn’t meant to ask, but once the words were out, she couldn’t take them back.

 

“Are you happy…with Yuri?”

 

Jessica had stiffened, buried her face into the crook of Taeyeon’s neck and waited an impossibly long time before letting the answer slide out with a ragged breath. And there was that uncertainty again, now curling around Jessica’s words and painfully obvious to Taeyeon’s perceptive ears.

 

“…Yes.”

 

Weak against Jessica’s proximity, Taeyeon had pushed further and for the first time waded into uncharted territory, refusing the accept the answer Jessica had supplied her. Perhaps, for that split second, it was just Taeyeon being selfish.

 

“Are you sure you want to marry her?”

 

The question that went unsaid hung suspended between them—Is she the one for you?

 

Jessica had pulled back to look at her—to really look at her—eyes impossibly clear, without a semblance of the alcoholic haze and Taeyeon had gulped under the scrutiny; feeling ridiculously transparent. Her heart was conflicted, on one hand, Taeyeon wanted Jessica to see her feelings, but at the same time, for Jessica’s sake, she hoped the other girl didn’t.

 

“D-do I have a choice?”

 

Taeyeon wonders if Jessica had meant for her words to interpreted in more than way, but for her own sanity, Taeyeon had stuffed the thought into a small box at the back of her mind.

 

“You always have a choice—I’ll promise you always have a choice, Jessica.”

 

Jessica had pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, just thinking, contemplating Taeyeon’s offer, accepting her promise and Taeyeon had wondered what else Jessica had accepted in that moment.

 

“Taeyeon, c-can you help me—If it ever comes to that?”

 

“I will. Just say that you want it, Sica and I’ll be there.”

 

The conversation was supposed to be lost like the other fuzzy moments, disappearing like the shots of vodka had down their throats, the clear liquid conferring anything but clarity.

 

So, in a way, Taeyeon was responsible for this mess.

 

For her best friend’s broken heart.

 

She can’t say that she regrets it though, not when, she’d prevent a mistake—prevented Jessica from being trapped in a marriage she was unsure about and prevented Yuri from giving everything to someone who couldn’t give her the same in return.

 

A delicate voice breaks through her thoughts, pulling her back into the present.

 

“Yuri, it’s my fault. Don’t blame Taeyeon. I asked her to help me—if I ever…” Jessica says as she casts her eyes downward, “I’m sorry.”

 

Yuri’s shoulders deflate as she glances between them, gaze settling on the way Jessica and Taeyeon were still connected by Taeyeon’s arm wrapped around Jessica’s waist and seeing the way Jessica leant into the shorter girl.

 

Yuri stares and stares, pieces becoming glaringly obvious now that she knows where to look. Maybe she did have Jessica for a short while, but Jessica wasn’t hers anymore—and probably hadn’t been for some time; despite the labels of commitment they’d placed on themselves. Yuri wonders if she’d been the burdensome one out of the three of them, an inconvenience that had unknowingly wedged itself between the two of them.  

 

“I-I think I get it, and I think I have all along…but—” Yuri sighs sadly, “I still need some time…to come to terms with...” The girl trails off, evidently pained.

 

“Yul,” Taeyeon tries, a twinge of sadness in her heart at her friend’s heartbreak.

 

“…I’m hurt but you’re both still my best friends, so go, please, before I change my mind and say something hurtful.”

 

Taeyeon wants to say more, but Jessica gives her a look and shakes her head silently, staying around would only deepen the wounds etched into Yuri’s heart. So, Taeyeon lets Jessica’s hand slip into hers and pull her by her hand out of the hall.

/

Still in her wedding dress, Jessica looks ridiculous, sitting in the backseat of Taeyeon’s car.

 

“That was enough drama for my life.” Taeyeon says, glancing cautiously at the other girl, whose tears Taeyeon helped wipe away, were no longer ready to spill forth, having stopped a while ago.

 

They were parked in a deserted carpark quite a distance from the hall where the disastrous events of the morning had occurred.

 

“Taeyeon, how long?” Jessica asks gently, as her hand reaches out, crossing the distance between them, and fingers slipping into the spaces between Taeyeon’s own.

 

How long have you been in love with me? 

 

Although, nearly identical to the words of accusation uttered by Yuri, there’s no underlying resentment, no underlying betrayal; just Jessica’s soft affection and a tinge of sadness, as though the other girl was hurting at the thought of all the pain Taeyeon had to go through, having watched Jessica and Yuri in a relationship together.

 

Taeyeon keeps her eyes on their entangled fingers.

 

“I don’t know exactly, but it feels like it was since forever.”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

 

“Neither did I—for a long while anyways.” Taeyeon responds with a chuckle. She pulls her legs up onto the seat so that she was sitting cross-legged and facing Jessica. “Soooo, what now?”

 

“I don’t know, what’s the standard protocol for runaway brides?” Jessica asks, almost pensively, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Taeyeon watches the simple action, enraptured like the hopeless lovesick idiot she was.

 

When Taeyeon catches herself staring, she averts her eyes and shrugs, before jokingly adding, “Maybe something like driving off into the sunset and living happily-ever-after with the person of their dreams?”

 

“We could do that.” Jessica pipes up, voice sounding strangely hopeful and Taeyeon really has to check her hearing or the soundness of her mind—she was surely imagining things.

 

When Taeyeon doesn’t respond, Jessica tries again, voice vulnerable as she ventures past the walls Taeyeon always had up—ones that tried to keep Jessica out and Taeyeon's own feelings in. “Taeyeon, do you want to give us a try?”

 

“What?”

 

“I-I think I’ve been in love with you all this time—I’m just so dense that it took a proposal, a drunken conversation and a ruined wedding for me to realise…”

 

“What?”

 

Disbelief colours her tone and Taeyeon wonders if she really was insane, especially if her mind was conjuring up such fantasies. She opens and closes and just stares at Jessica, as though the other girl would suddenly yell: April Fools

 

A shot of pain zaps across her skin as Taeyeon registers that Jessica had just flicked her on the forehead. Jessica looks thoroughly unamused by her lack of response.

 

Taeyeon's eyes widen in shock. The pain had been real and that meant that so was this.

 

“You idiot, I just confessed and you can’t even say anything.”

 

“Jessica,” Taeyeon, in a deep breath, letting the question fall free from where it had been tied up, letting go of all the things that had been holding her back from acting on her feelings. “W-will you be my girlfriend...?”

 

“Yes.” Jessica replies softly, a smile curling upon her lips.

 

“And while we at it, will you marry me?” Taeyeon adds, joking playfully, even though she knows that the words were ones she wanted to ask Jessica—maybe not now, but definitely someday in the future.

 

“Too soon.” Jessica quips back, alluding to her almost-marriage and playing along with Taeyeon's joke.

 

But then a quiet sentence slips between Jessica's parted lips and the words that filled up the air between them surprises both of them.

 

“But if you ask me again later...I might actually say yes.”

/

 

an: [unbeta'd] opps, i finished this instead of doing my assignment... thanks for reading, i hope it was vaguely interesting lol (btw I believe yul will survive and everything will be back to normal again eventually)

no more writing from me for a while, got important exams to study for or i'll actually fail. :) 

-semi-inspired by Taylor Swift's Speak Now