Any grammar and typos are fully mine. Someday I'll convince myself to actually read through these before posting. I promise!

 

Second place 

It was a familiar feeling. There she goes again, wearing her heart out in the open, allowing it to weather the injuries and pain that comes with loving freely.

And yet, there she was again, in that perpetual inescapable place, second place. The back up.

It was indescribably frustrating but sometimes looking back she’d chuckle at the luck of it all.

The constant competitions and near misses were hard, and yet she always went back in hopes that someday someone would recognize her.

….

The first time, she had learned of this was at a very young age, when she realized that there was no way that love could flow evenly upon children try as adults may to convince her otherwise.

As the older twin, she was the one who was rough and tumble. The one found playing in the sand along with the boys.

Much unlike her sister the studious prim daughter that their parents looked upon with great pride.

Two people with the same face, same life, and yet somehow their fates differed.

….

Sometimes the feeling was bittersweet, when she felt her heart flutter for the first time upon seeing that tall angel.

So close yet impossibly far is what second place is. Seeing your goal and watching someone else grasp it and claim it as their own.

Yet despite all of this, she couldn’t make herself feel any ill will or bitterness, as she always had been and always would be one step behind.

The feeling of being loved but having that person admit that their feelings for her were not quite enough to make her number one, it should have been frustrating, but she accepted it as she accepted all things in life.

…..

And except her fate she did, yet when rejections started to pile up, her heart grew heavier with each dent in her armor.

The comforting friendly hugs almost seemed to taunt her. Her only way of dealing with it was to brush it off, to hide her feelings behind her jokes and positive front. And yet at the end of each of their joke and laughter filled meetings, the girl would apologetically look down at her phone and wave at Eunwoo muttering excuses about how the older girl enjoyed promptness and routine.

She would lope off with an extra spring in her step that Eunwoo had only ever seen the girl have when mentioning the older girl. 

…..

The practice room was her solace. The place where she could be alone, a place where her worst enemy was only herself as she stared into the mirror, desperately monitoring her performance to pick out minuscule imperfections.

Details that she wished could make her stand out, that could make others recognize her efforts. 

…..

The mirrors surround her as she stands, her mantra “be someone’s dream” running through her mind, a constant motivator.

She had announced it loudly with a cheesy grin to wild laughter as her members slapped her arm and giggled about the motto. Minkyung had given an especially loud "Oh ho" while punching her in the arm.

She’d laughed along, happy just to see them smiling, but within her a fire had started to burn.

Sometimes, when you joke about something enough, the notion starts to take over and become more than just a joke. It becomes a tangible goal that digs itself into her mind. Her, yes her. The one who had always played second fiddle to her sister. 

She too could be someone's dream. Whoever that someone was.

……

Sometimes the best thing in life is just to feel appreciated. Sometimes, love comes not like a fire works display of emotions, but like a quiet and comfortable feeling. Like coming home. It’s finding out that your wild emotions and thoughts are not strange and ugly, but are a common thread.

It could be when you meet someone who can translate your inner demons.

Greed?

A deep yearning for love, a want to be wanted by someone.  

Jealousy?

“She’s not yours, you can’t be jealous of what’s not yours” Eunwoo says softly with a sad understanding smile as she pets the soft blonde locks in front of her. The words seem to come with a story behind them.

Despite the seemingly harsh words Kyungwon leans her head into the touch. Eunwoo does not pull away, instead she pulls the older girl closer.

Taking advantage of older girl’s lowered defenses she reaches up and gives her cheeks a light squeeze earning her a loud outcry along with a glare but again the girls don’t move away.

“And you don’t need to be first place in everyone’s heart, you really only need to be first place to one person, the one who truly matters.” Eunwoo says with what she hopes is. solemn expression, all the while still gripping the girl’s cheeks.

“YAH ”

 

......

A/N: It was pretty obvious who they were immediately wasn’t it? xD Eunwoo and Kyungwon have a very special place in my heart! They’re the jokesters but also the subtlety mature ones who will quietly step aside to allow the other members to shine, d’awww.

I found this hiding in my drafts and I think I was trying to convey the idea of always playing second fiddle. It was a mess, but I've edited out some of the doom and gloom, because it didn't feel authentic. As a second fiddle, life isn't that bad! I promise! In the end it’s okay to not always be first. Sometimes you only need one or two or a few people to know your true worth, and that’s enough, it’s more than enough, ahaha ^^