JINYOUNG. My First and Only Love
All I Wanna Do! (Wanna One High School)Jinyoung was in an extremely bad mood. And by bad he meant the I-want-to-strangle-the-next-person-who-crosses-my-line-of-sight kind of bad. And for someone as peaceloving as he was, this was no small feat.
First of all, he hardly managed even a wink of sleep last night because his roommate Jaehwan had stayed up 'till late for singing practice, right next to his bed ("because the acoustics are nice here" he said. "I'll just sing you to sleep" he said). And if he hadn't already managed to wake up the entire dormitory, he sure as heck managed to piss off at least one person (clue: Jinyoung).
As soon as Jinyoung rolled out of bed at 6 A.M. the next morning, dazed and sleep-deprived, he rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes, tousled his hair into less of a bird-nest looking state, and then immediately demanded a reason as to why Jaehwan absolutely had to sing and play his bloody guitar at the top of his lungs in the wee hours of the morning and night.
"Okay, okay," Jaehwan began. "Good morning to you too. First of all, I did practice in the the afternoons. I did so the entire day, in fact. But I just wouldn't be able to sleep well knowing I didn't practice anymore than that."
"Yeah sure," Jinyoung snorted. "Sacrifice my peace of mind in exchange for yours."
Jinyoung stood up to walk towards the full-length mirror propped onto the wall on the right side of his bed. He gave his reflection a once-over, and decided that he was in desperate need of a bath and some eye cream.
"I wasn't even singing that loudly," Jaehwan said. "I made sure to pick mellow songs too, you know. I almost sang you a lullaby and cradled you to sleep myself."
"I appreciate the effort hyung, but yeah...no." Jinyoung said, tapping Jaehwan lightly on the shoulder. "I'd like to sleep in perfect silence next time."
"You don't need the beauty sleep, though." Jaehwan said, trying to lighten up the mood by teasing him. "Don't worry, if you don't receive your daily love letter from a loyal fangirl today, I'll write you one myself."
Jinyoung cringed at the thought of Jaehwan being his fangirl. No, he chided himself. Keep the disturbing mental image out of your head.
"No thanks," he said. "Besides, hyung, it's not beauty sleep. It's JUST SLEEP."
"Well, it's JUST ANOTHER EXAM that I had to prepare for right, which is why I bothered-- no, blessed you with the sound of my sweet singing last night? Wrong. It's a promotion exam, Jinyoung. It's really important, for you and me both."
For a moment there Jinyoung seemed to forget his bearings. And then it all came crashing down to him. The second reason why he was in an extremely bad mood: he completely forgot that promotion exams were tomorrow.
He stared at the wall next to Jaehwan for a solid ten seconds in disbelief. "Seems like someone forgot all about it," Jaehwan said. " But aren't you in Class F? You need the promotion even more than I do. You're already a sophomore too, and most students are out of Class F by their freshman year. You're lucky all the girls love you and would probably go on a hunger strike of some sort if you got kicked out of this school."
"Wow hyung, thanks for reminding me of how utterly pathetic I am. Not that you could've also reminded me of the fact that we had exams today."
"Sorry," Jaehwan said regretfully. "I meant to make you feel better, but I don't understand why you're so demotivated these days. Some of the boys are starting to call you names behind your back too, and it makes me want to punch them."
Jinyoung sat back down on his bed, burying his face into both of his hands in agitation. What am I going to do now? I don't have a song prepared, and even if I do I'll end up just staring at the floor while I perform it. As much as he hated to admit it, Jaehwan-hyung was right. It was his fault that he looked dead while performing onstage, his fault that all his grades were dropping, his fault that his male classmates had begun calling him "deep dark" because he couldn't even manage to look at the audience as he performed. He had his stage-fright to blame, and everyone was saying that at the rate he was going, it was impossible for him to debut. He remembered their dance instructor telling him to just quit and become a model, as if the only the thing he was good for was his looks.
Jinyoung couldn't even provide a counter-argument. And those girls following him around... they were attracted to his dainty features, his small face, and nothing else. It was like being attracted to a statue, or to a pretty, yet empty shell.
Ever since Jihoon moved up from Class C to B, he started feeling as if a rift was opening between them, and if he so much as tried to jump across to the other side, he would fall straight into the endless abyss. The more Jihoon improved in his dance, the more Jinyoung felt as if his best friend of three years would just one day pack up and leave him. They promised they would debut together one day, no matter what, but as Jinyoung found himself unable to improve because he feared performing in front of people, he began to feel as if the hope of that dream coming true was slowly slipping like sand between his fingers.And so he began losing motivation to improve.
And yet, whenever he practiced with Jihoon, he managed to do his best. He performed naturally. Jihoon was encouraging, and kind, and allowed him to make mistakes and try again. If Jihoon were the only one watching, he could become the idol everyone thought that he was incapable of being.
But he guessed that was only natural that Jihoon brought out the best in him. After all, he had been secretly in love with his best friend since middle school.
As if on cue, a knock on the door came once. Jinyoung's heart soared, expecting Jihoon.
"Finally," Jinyoung exclaimed. "After not texting me since your dance practice last night. Where have you been, hyung?"
But the door unlocked, and instead of Jihoon, a small, bright-eyed boy peeked through. Jinyoung blinked twice, as if he was hallucinating.
"Hello," the boy greeted, in what was probably the cutest voice on a guy he had ever heard. "I heard you two were in here?"
"Oh hey Daehwi, there you are!" Jaehwan exclaimed, standing up from where he was seated on the dining table to walk towards Daehwi and give him a tight hug. "You're early. I haven't even taken a bath."
Daehwi's small nose scrunched up. "Yeah. I noticed." As Jaehwan released him, Daehwi's eyes locked with Jinyoung's. Jinyoung couldn't do anything but stare at him in confusion.
What was Lee Daehwi, one of the top ranked and most famous students of Class A doing here? As he stared, Daehwi looked away blushing, as if embarrassed. And all of a sudden Jinyoung was hyper-aware of the fact that he was wearing nothing but his sleeveless undershirt and his striped boxers.
Oh great going Jinyoung. What a way to make a first impression.
"Uhm," Jinyoung started, clearing his throat. He turned to Jaehwan, who was already looking through the cupboards for his breakfast cereal. "Hyung, what's he doing here?"
"Oh, did I forget to tell you?" Jaehwan said. "I found you a tutor. Don't worry, he already knows of you. He's seen you perform."
"Oh, I see."
And then the statement began to register. "Wait. You found me a WHAT?" Jinyoung couldn't even bring himself to be embarrassed at the fact that Daehwi had seen him in one of his "deep dark" moments already.
Comments