Regret
Is This Real?
Soomin's/Reader's POV:
Here I was lying in Kyuhyun's arms with a major headache and wondering what had happened. I groaned when I tried to get out of bed. I lied back down and looked around trying to figure out where I was. Since the sunlight brought some light into the room I soon recognized it as the one I was sharing with Kyuhyun and that I was in my bed. But there was one thing I kept wondering about: What had happened? I didn't know how I ended up in my bed and why Kyuhyun was sleeping next to me. I felt him move and when I looked at him, I saw that he had woken up.
“Good morning, princess. How bad is the hangover?”
“Morning.... Well let's say that my head feels like having been cut in the middle and I feel like throwing up any second.”
Just after I finished saying that I ran into the bathroom and underlined what I said. I threw up and shortly after I felt a hand patting my back, telling me that it would be better soon. I groaned again, cleaned my face and looked into the mirror. What I saw shocked me. I looked horrible and I started to realize that I made a huge mistake. I started to feel ashamed, went back to my room, grabbed some clothes and went back to take a shower but not without shoving a confused Kyuhyun out of the bathroom.
It felt so good to take a shower but it was hard to really relax with the headache I had. Once I was down I went out of the bathroom and sat down on the couch, staring at the wall while trying to remember what happened. There was just one problem; I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember how I got home, how I ended up in my bed and certainly not how Kyuhyun ended up in my bed. I sat there for some minutes until the members came.
“Baek Soomin, how could you? I'm disappointed, Soomin-ah. Why did you let yourself get drunk?”, Leeteuk started to scold me; the disappointment was not only written on his face but also in his voice.
“I... I don't know, oppa. There is no excuse for what I did and I am sorry, but I also know that a simple 'I'm sorry' won't excuse my actions. I don't expect you to forgive me now for what I did. But could someone please tell me what happened?”
And with that Eunhyuk told me what had happened. Hearing more and more I felt ashamed. I felt so ashamed that Eunhyuk had to handle me when I was drunk and that I dared to say those things to Leeteuk. I looked at the ground, trying to fight the tears when Eunhyuk had finished. It was so hard to believe that I acted like that but at least I knew what had happened. Well but not how I ended up with Kyuhyun in my bed.
“I see.... But what happened then? Who brought me to bed?”
“Well, I did”, Kyuhyun said quietly.
“But how comes that you..”
“You blurted your heart out and wouldn't let go. That's why”, Kyuhyun interrupted me.
I blushed at that; the thought was too embarrassing. But then I realized something.
“Wait a second. How comes that Hyukjae oppa was there so fast? And don't tell me it was coincidence.”
“Well, you see, I wanted to make sure that you were okay and not surrounded by fans..”, Kyuhyun said nervously.
“You WHAT? You let him spy on me? Did you loose your mind?”, I yelled but regretted it immediately; the headache was too painful.
“Wait, guys. I need some painkillers or else my head will explode.”
Ryeowook went to the kitchen and came after a few minutes with a cup of water and painkillers.
“Thanks. So care to explain, Cho Kyuhyun?”
“I.. well I was worried about you. I promised your parents to look after you and I was worried that fans might see you two and do something. I knew you would somehow find out if I went myself so I asked Hyukie hyung to look after you.”
“You mean spy. I can't believe you made one of your hyungs spy on me. Can't you trust me?”
“I do trust you but I don't trust others easily. And in the end it was good right? Look what happened.”
“But that is none of your business. Were you afraid that Nichkhun would take me away from you? Were you just jealous?”
“I... I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Soomin-ah. How are we supposed to trust you that you can take care of yourself if you just proved that you can't?”, Siwon asked me with a calm voice.
“You can't.... not if I'm messed up with my fellings. I don't know what came over me. I just wanted to forget all the mess for a moment and.... wait a second”, I exclaimed and looked at my phone. It was a message of my best friend and she didn't seem to happy. I gulped and excused myself from the guys, telling them that I had to talk with Vicky. Kyuhyun borrowed me his laptop again and I called her via Skype. When I saw her upset face, I knew that I was in trouble.
“Are you nuts, young grasshopper? Where did you leave your brain when you went to that date?”
“What do you mean?”, I asked innocently, hoping that she didn't know already what had happened.
“Oh no, don't play innocent. I know what happened. Kyuhyun told me everything and don't you dare to be upset at him. What the hell where you thinking? How could you get yourself drunk like this? I bet you don't even remember what happened, do you?”
I sighed in defeat: “The guys just told me but I don't remember. Don't worry, I feel horrible already.”
“Well good. Did you even think about what could have happened? You were alone with Nichkhun. Just the two of you. How could you even consider getting drunk? You knew that Nichkhun was also getting tipsy slowly. What if he would have been drunk, too? Do you really think you two would have been able to think rationally? What if he didn't ask Junho to pick him up? What if you two went to some hotel? What if you had been seen by fans? Do you even know what you risked? You risked a scandel, a huge one and you risked to give yourself to someone you barely know personally.”
I was staring at her, letting the words sink.
“Pati Pat, do you have any idea how worried Kyuhyun was? What if you would have given yourself to Nichkhun? What would Kyuhyun think of you? Do you have any idea what you could have destroyed? You wouldn't have hurt not only him but yourself. You think Kyuhyun would be able to forgive himself that he lost you like this? Thanks to alcohol? I know you have feelings for him so how the hell were you able to let yourself go like this? Are you freaking insane?”
Realizing how stupid and childish someone was is no fun at all. I looked at hear and started to tear up:
“You're right... I have no idea why the hell I did that. Maybe I wanted to forget my feelings for Kyuhyun for a while to make Nichkhun more comfortable, maybe I just wanted to blend out that it was not Kyuhyun I had a date with, I don't know. But I regret it. I never regretted something so much. There is no excuse for what I did and I won't expect them to forgive me... maybe I should just fly home. I don't deserve them. They took care of me and I'm not even able to not let them worry about me and not to put everyone in trouble. I'm so sorry that this all happened but I can't use magic to go back in time.”
“You better be glad that Hyukie was there and helped you out and fixed your mess. Did you at least apologize?”
“Of course. But I will do something else.”
“You better do. Kyuhyun even called me and was worried sick. He asked me what to do with you and all that. He cares so much for you and you nearly destroyed that. You're insane, Pati Pat, insane.”
“I know, I know. It won't happen again. I promise that one... the feeling afterward is just too horrible.”
“Good. I swear, if that happens again, I'm gonna kick your .... and even if that means I have to fly there or somewhere else. Now go and solve what you have to solve. And remember: don't you dare to pull a stunt like that ever again. I will make you regret it even more than now. And I think you seriously need to think about what you did. Tell me later how everything ended up.”
“Okay, okay. I won't forget. Talk to you soon.”
“Yeah, bye.... oh and have fun with your hangover. You look horrible.”
I gave her a grimace and we ended the conversation. I shut down the laptop and headed back to the living room where everyone was still waiting.
“Well, let's just say the conversation was not that nice. Okay, once again I'll apologize. I know, I acted stupid and immature and I won't even try to give you guys an excuse for what I did because there is none. I made a mistake and I learned of it. I promise it won't happen again. I hope you can forgive me someday,” I said sincerely and bowed, trying to hide tears of regret.
I felt that someone was pulling me up and into a hug. “Soomin-ah, don't feel upset of me scolding you. I just care for you and see you as my little sister that's why I did it. I'm glad you realized that it was a mistake and I really hope you learned of it. Don't make me worried like this again, okay?”, I hear Leeteuk say quietly.
I heard someone yell “Group hug” and suddenly I was in the arms of ten very caring guys and felt way better. Some had to leave for a schedule and soon it was only me and Kyuhyun in the living room.
“So, oppa.... what did I say to you when we were alone in our room?”
“Oh well, you see.... you said that you didn't have feelings for Nichkhun and yeah...”
I blushed at that: “I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I think I even told Nichkhun said I don't have these kinda feelings for him. I think I should talk....”
Just then the bell rang and soon Kyuhyun came back with Nichkhun following him. Kyuhyun excused himself to his room while Nichkhun looked at me awkwardly and a little bit ashamed.
“Hey. I think we need to talk about yesterday. I'm sorry that it ended up like that. I got carried away. I should have stopped you from drinking more but instead I enjoyed myself too much. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me and please don't think bad about me”, Nichkhun nearly pleaded.
“Don't worry, oppa. It's not your fault. I should be able to say 'no' and take care of myself but failed. There is nothing to forgive. I'm sorry that I ruined the date like this. But do you remember what I told you about us?”
“Yes..... can we be at least friends for now? So we can get closer....”
“Sure, oppa. That would be great.”
“Well, I have to leave now. Still have some schedules to do. Talk to you later.”
“Okay. Hwaiting, oppa.”
Shortly after Nichkhun left, Kyuhyun came back and asked me how it went. We talked for a while but then he had to leave for a schedule while Sungmin came back. Sungmin made some food for us and sat down next to me while looking at me curiously.
“What do you want to know, oppa?”, I sighed.
“What happened in the restaurant? And I heard that Khunnie was here earlier.... Do you have feelings for him? Just tell me everything.”
And I did so. It felt so good to let everything out while eating. Sungmin was very understanding but also scolded me for having done something so stupid. He was happy that I at least know for sure that at the moment I had no deeper feelings. And he reminded me of my date with Kyuhyun which would be tomorrow. Later in the evening Kyuhyun came back and told me to come with him so he could talk with me in private.
“Soomin-ah, about tomorrow. We'll leave here at around 7pm. Don't worry about getting ready or so. I will get ready upstairs so you can do everything more comfortable here.”
“Okay, thanks. Where will we go?”
“It's a surprise. But I'm sure that you'll love it.”
I nodded and went to bed after eating dinner. I was tired and wanted to have enough rest before my next date. I got ready for bed and when I was lying there, listening to music, I kept wondering what Kyuhyun had planned for our date. I was wondering if we would go to the movies or eat something, maybe take a walk in park but as much as I thought, I was clueless. The only thing I could do was waiting for the date.
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