Dear Zhong Chenle.

Im not really a fan of letters. I never was. I liked to deal with things from face to face.But things changed and you changed me. You made me into a coward,A fool!There is something really heavy in my chest,Thats love. I know I Know it sounds cheesy but its true.Maybe,just Maybe if i would say these 3 words,this one sentence i could turn things back to normal. but as i already said im a coward,a fool.But i cant ignore those feelings and keep then hidden so i need one but 100 ways to say "i love you"

You know chenle..sometimes you are more of a dongsean then me! Not that i dislike it, it suits you but you know it is really funny sometimes!Do you remember when we had a day off? i was happy to spend the day with you. it was around last autumn and the leave just began to fall and the wind was getting colder but you insisted to wear that shorts and a shirt "Im already grown up i can take this little bit wind" you said. And you really did shiver after a while with a grumpy face so i said "Take my jacket" you just giggled emberassed and putted it on. by the way your laugh is cute.  The giggle turned into a anxius look "arent you cold?" and i insisted "its okay,You can have it"  That was also the day we visited that new caffe in town,it was always a little risky to go outside alone because of the fans so i told you to watch your steps.When we entered the caffe a nice and sweet scent was in the air,it reminded me of you.I Got to the front while you took a seat,i picked the biggest piece of cake that was there and a cup of latte macchiato i knew they where was your favorits.It Actually took me a while to get back becuase of the tons of people standing in line "sorry it took so long" but you just nooded already starting to eat the cake happily with a satisfied look on your face.I admired you while you ate it not so sure if it was okay since we where both guys so i shook my head to let go of the thoughts of you "why are you staring at me like this" you laughed and i said "just because" even tho i wanted to tell you how much i love the way you look so happy. You just shrugged it off like always i really envy you for being so easy going sometimes. I Took a few bites of my piece of cake but it felt heavy somehow. "you can have the other half" i smiled while handing you over my plate. The time went by so fast with you and the sun started getting down "get home safe" you gave me a small hug and left.My body started to stiff and i looked after you wondering what you did to me. I still had to get some things done but my mind would always finde it way back to you.

Or do you remember the day you got Sick after schedule? You had a high fever i was really worried about you! you shivered while sweat was running down your fronthead it kind of broke me to see you like this. i decided to look after you that day.It was by the time i realized i had more than just friendtype of feelings for you. I did your homework that day and if you where awake i would have made you soup. You tried to do things on your own so kind harted like you are didnt wanted to waste my time but it didnt botherd me.You where afraid you never got sick like this. at times like this you always want your parents by your side no matter how old you are. there wasnt much i could do but i promised to hold your hand and be there when you wake up.

We share a lot of memories together right? by the time you have become my dearest friend. I Cant tell you how greatfull i am for all the things you did to me. You are that one person i can truly feel comfortable around. Not only me but you too always looked out for me cried with me when i felt alone or the pressure was just to much. You where the one to come and cuddle in winter. You where the one to cook for me ramen even tho you knew it wouldnt turn out well. You changed so many things in my Life Zhong chenle,you didnt just turned me into a coward or a fool.You turned me into so much more.When i saw you singing and performing,the way you got along with everyone the way you took things so easily made grow a passion in me. i want to be like you Chenle.

There are so many more things i could say now but the most important is that I Love you. I love you for being my friend. I love you for being there and i love you for being you. And Maybe,just Maybe now where i said those 3 words,this one sentence i could turn things back to Normal..together with you.

-Park jisung.