1. 태연하게 용기할래 아무렇지 않게

 

Mina might not have regretted it, but Jeongyeon was seriously starting to.

Her first candidate is Im Nayeon, her closest childhood friend and biggest menace. But Jeongyeon trusts her, and even if Nayeon could be one of the biggest pains in her , she had a good heart, and Jeongyeon knows that Nayeon and Mina would at least get along. It was actually a miracle they hadn't met before.

She was fine with it, when Mina had come home from her date with Nayeon, cheeks flushed as she leaned against their front door. She had been dazed, not even noticing Jeongyeon until she’d called out to her, asking Mina how her date had gone. Mina hadn't answered, but the way she smiled spoke volumes. Jeongyeon had been left with a kiss to her cheek and gnawing in her heart, sitting alone in their living room, satisfied only by the delight on Mina’s face.

It carries on for months, and Jeongyeon’s partly relieved that her search for the person for Mina’s heart seemed to be over so soon.

Nayeon starts bleeding into everything Jeongyeon and Mina did. Jeongyeon coming to Mina’s ballet productions now included Nayeon, who wielded a bouquet, always greeted by a beaming Mina at the end of the night. Nayeon’s clients were now curious as to her new muse, never showing her face but always present in her new photographs. Nayeon starts spending more time around their apartment, just as Mina spends more time around Nayeon, and by extension Jeongyeon’s, shoots. They’re as sweet as they are gross, but Jeongyeon’s happy for them, happy that two of her closest friends seemed to find homes in each other. It made the hole in her heart lessen, just to see how happy Mina was with Nayeon, and Nayeon with Mina.

Well, that was until Mina came rushing in on a dreadfully cold Winter evening, cheeks flushed for an entirely different reason.

Mina had refused to say anything, but Jeongyeon knew then that something had happened. She goes to chew Nayeon out the next day, but she had been greeted with the same face, eyes swollen and cheeks ruddy with tears. Jeongyeon holds her and doesn’t say a word, and wondered if she had been right to do this all along.

Nayeon stops coming to Mina’s shows. Mina stops coming to their shoots. Jeongyeon is caught in the middle, torn between the girl she loved and the girl she loves. Though, there were a few things Jeongyeon knew were certain.

Nayeon and Mina had been a fire, burning brightly and snuffing out just as quickly, left with the smouldering ashes of a smoky first love.

 

1.1 소중했던 사랑을 그때는 몰랐어요

 

“How is she?”

Nayeon is stubborn. As stubborn as a mule on her best days, and a nightmare on her worst, and for her to muster up the courage to ask almost makes Jeongyeon drop whatever it was she was doing.

Jeongyeon lingers by the TV displaying her pictures of the day for another moment before answering. “Some days are good. Some days aren't.”

“Jeongyeon, you know…” Nayeon begins, and Jeongyeon doesn't know if it’s another of Nayeon’s excuses or an actual reason. “I wish we could have been better for each other.”

Jeongyeon’s phone flashes to life with a text from Mina, and her heart feels the closest it’s been to Nayeon in years. “Me too.”

 

1.2 가슴이 두근거리던 이유

 

Jeongyeon’s nearly forgotten about her drunken promise to ‘fix’ Mina’s love life, as Winter enters Spring and the leaves the trees lost start budding once more. Both of them had been caught up in the whirlwind of what had happened between Mina and Nayeon, until Mina sheds her vibrant red hair for a softer copper, nearly making Jeongyeon’s heart stop when she steps through the door.

Mina smiles shyly, Jeongyeon smiles nervously, and they have dinner on their couch again, hearts mended by the warmth only cheap delivery food could bring.

They sit together, their coffee table messy and littered with empty food boxes, but they were warm and sleepy, the soft buzz of a late night comedy show playing on their TV in the background. Mina had broken the silence first, toying with Jeongyeon’s messy bangs, still a little short from their fresh cut. Her voice is thick, heavy with sleep.

“Have you given up on my heart, Yoo Jeongyeon?” She asks, not even opening her eyes as she tucks her head under Jeongyeon’s chin.

Jeongyeon shakes her head, a laugh nearly rumbling through her chest. “Never.”

 

1.3 그대 말투 그대 미소로

 

“Another news blog is fighting over whether we’ve been dating for three years or five.”

Jeongyeon shakes her head with a smile, relishing in the warmth of Mina’s presence as she drapes herself over back, showing Jeongyeon her phone screen. “Clearly they’re wrong, we’ve been dating since high school.”

“Oh yes, how could I ever resist nerdy Yoo Jeongyeon, who heroically jumped into the pool after me even though they couldn’t swim,” Mina teases lightly, before starting to pull away, fingers trailing over her shoulders. “Pasta for dinner?”

Jeongyeon tips her head back, offering her cheek expectantly, her smile widening when Mina indulges her. “Sounds perfect.”

 

2.내가 그댈 얼마나 많이 원하는지

 

Jeongyeon’s next candidates come as a sort of package, one that decides to bet on who could get Mina’s number the fastest. Hirai Momo is a dancer, one of the best in the country, and just so happens to run into Mina at the dance studio. Literally. Momo had ended up with an armful of Myoui Mina and the ballerina’s number, and so she’s exactly 100,000 won richer - perfect to take Mina out with.

Mina and Momo get along swimmingly, a breath of fresh air after what had happened not too long ago. They work well together, as a couple and as dancers, with Mina spending more hours at the studio than she ever had for the past two years and Momo finding someone who finally seemed to challenge her.

The first time Jeongyeon sees them on stage together, her breath is stolen and she has a hard time keep shut for the entirety of their performance. They were a sight to behold, weaving together and falling apart on stage as if they belonged together. Jeongyeon could barely stand to watch and yet she couldn't look away, even when they shared looks that could burn whole cities down.

Spring and Momo brings a new happiness in Mina, a happiness that brings out a side of her that Jeongyeon could only dream of. Momo and Mina live as they dance, coming together effortlessly, b with beauty and power with every second they spend together. And yet, Jeongyeon sees the gentleness between them, hears Mina’s soft goodnights and sleepy laughter through the thin walls of their shared apartment. Even when the media takes a shine on them, they both take it in stride, both as used to the cameras as Jeongyeon was.

Mina’s step becomes lighter and Jeongyeon’s heart does, too, happy that Mina’s heart was slowly healing after the whole Nayeon incident. Mina and Momo come together so naturally Jeongyeon hardly notices when they fall apart, too, only weeks after they’d gotten together. Jeongyeon only finds out over a late Summer lunch with Momo, who mentions it as casually as she shoves food into .

 

2.1 그대가 보았던 어떤 것보다 더 주고 싶은 내 맘

 

“Why didn't you tell me?” Jeongyeon can't help but ask when Mina flops onto her back that night, exhausted from a long day of practice.

Mina only hums, burrowing further into the back of Jeongyeon’s oversized t-shirt, eyes heavy and limbs even heavier. “I didn't want you to feel bad. Momo’s sweet, just… not what I’m looking for.”

“What are you looking for, then?” Jeongyeon asks, straining her neck to try and look at the girl falling asleep on her back.

Mina only smiles, barely a pull at the corners of her lips. “Someone like you?”

Jeongyeon huffs and collapses back on her bed, shaking her head. If only it were true.

 

3.더 이상 어떻게 내 맘을 표현해

 

They meet Jeongyeon’s third candidate unexpectedly, at the zoo of all places.

Mina had been pulling her along excitedly towards the penguins when a gaggle of children walk by, lead along by a shining Minatozaki Sana, effortlessly keeping the kids’ attention as she talks about the wonders of the Arctic. Mina stops too, and Jeongyeon is both glad and disappointed that her next setup won't be too difficult.

Mina convinces Jeongyeon to join the kids on their little tour, their hands linked and folded together in Jeongyeon’s coat pocket. To anyone else, they might have looked like a couple - the pictures uploaded to Twitter later confirm that, at least. But to Jeongyeon, it was just another day, except today Mina couldn't take her eyes off the tour guide’s bright smile. From the look in Sana’s eyes, she seemed pleased, too.

Jeongyeon introduces them to each other during Sana’s break, and she feels a part of her pulling away when Mina’s hand slips away from hers to shake Sana’s.

“Mina, Myoui Mina,” Mina introduces herself with a smile Jeongyeon’s never seen before, her hand slotting right into Sana’s waiting one. “Sana, right? Momo told me about you, sorry you lost the bet.”

Jeongyeon and Sana are both at a loss for words, but Mina laughs and it’s softer than the breeze that blows through the leaves, brighter than the sun shining down on them. Jeongyeon falls a little more in love with her roommate. And Sana does, too.

 

3.1 온통 내 맘은 너로 가득 차서

 

In all the years Jeongyeon had known Sana, Jeongyeon had never expected to see her like she was around Mina.

Sana was ever energetic, with a smile that never seemed to fall off her face and an optimism that could make anyone’s day brighter. Sana seemed to be doing so much just by existing, a presence not to be ignored, taking centre stage without needing to try. It was no wonder why she drew such big crowds at the zoo on the daily, even on weekdays.

With Mina, however, it was almost as if she was a different person. She was a little quieter, softened by her presence, with a sharpness Jeongyeon’s never quite encountered with Sana before. They seem to get lost in their own world, always slipping into Japanese when they were together, always touching, never far apart.

Jeongyeon has front row seats to the way they work with each other, how easily they push and pull, like waves crashing upon the shore - always coming back to one another, never a step behind.

Sana becomes Mina’s biggest fans at her performances, and Mina becomes such a frequent zoo visitor she knows most animals by name. Despite their strange start, Sana and Mina built a connection not even Jeongyeon had anticipated, one that goes even beyond their break up - Mina’s third in less than a year.

Their relationship ends as amicably as it started, with a promise of a different kind of forever between Mina and Sana that Jeongyeon would never know of.

 

3.2 꼭 집어 꼭 집어 말을 해야만 알겠니

 

Mina’s copper has melted into a soft chocolate brown by the middle of the Summer, and Jeongyeon tucks it behind her ears as she cooks, earning a gentle smile in thanks. Jeongyeon leans against the counter, her eyes dropping to Mina’s phone as it flashes, lighting up with a picture of Mina wrapped up happily in Jeongyeon’s arms, but also with a text full of good mornings and multi-coloured hearts from Sana.

“Sure you two aren't still dating?” Jeongyeon asks, amused by Sana’s antics so early on a Saturday morning.

Mina rolls her eyes, smile widening, looking adorable in one of Jeongyeon’s shirts and her trusty kitchen apron. “Yes, Yoo Jeongyeon. There’s someone else she has her eyes on.”

“Someone else?” Jeongyeon asks incredulously, baffled at the thought of having eyes on anyone other than the girl standing before her. She opens thoughtlessly as Mina lifts a spoon to her lips, humming at the taste and giving a thumbs up. “Guess Sana needs to get her eyes checked.”

“Don't be rude,” Mina scolds, turning back to their breakfast. “I’m just not her type. But we’re still good friends and I’m grateful for that.”

“Well, was she your type?” Jeongyeon asks, trailing after Mina as she shuts off the cooker and plates their food, making her way to their tiny dining table for two.

Mina gives her a smile over her shoulder, and as much as Jeongyeon hates the drama cliches Nayeon loves, time seems to stop. She holds her breath when Mina leans in, a playful smirk on her lips. “You’re my type, Yoo Jeongyeon.”

Jeongyeon’s heart stutters, but she manages to scoff, pushing a now giggling Mina even faster towards their dining table. Myoui Mina would truly be the death of her.

 

3.3 내 손 꼭 붙잡아줄래

 

Sana starts to show up in the windows of Nayeon’s store, not nearly as shadowed in mystery as Mina had been, and Jeongyeon almost laughs at how small their worlds really were.

She looks at Mina who only smiles and gives her hand a tender squeeze, the sadness swimming in her eyes softened by the affection she holds for the person in the photographs. “Told you I wasn't her type.”

 

4.바다 같은 eye eye eyes 헤엄칠래

 

Her fourth candidate is a hesitant choice, with Jeongyeon still wary about what had happened with Nayeon, even though both Mina and Nayeon have seemed to moved on.

Park Jihyo was a force, with a name and fame that came from childhood, carried through her teen years and now into early adulthood. There was not one person who didn't know Park Jihyo, and yet to Jeongyeon, she used to be the snotty nosed kid Jeongyeon found crying because she scraped her knee. Jeongyeon gave her a Jigglypuff bandaid and they’d been friends ever since.

Jihyo beats Jeongyeon in telling her about Mina, Jihyo sitting pink-cheeked and pretty, gushing about the beautiful girl they were going to use for her new music video. Mina tells Jeongyeon about the gorgeous eyed Park Jihyo, who couldn't stop staring at her during a music video pitch, who had such a lovely smile and asked for her number. Jeongyeon wonders if there was any use for her in setting up these dates, when Mina seems to find them just as easily.

Jeongyeon has always known Jihyo to be a leader, and if Jihyo had gone down the path of an idol as she had originally planned, she was sure to be in charge. She was never afraid to voice her opinions, never afraid to take the reigns.

Jihyo wasn't like that with Mina.

It was strange when she saw them together, but it was… nice. Jeongyeon sometimes came home to the sound of guitar filtering from Mina’s room, their voices melting together, one Jeongyeon wouldn't mind hearing for the rest of her days. As busy as Jihyo and Mina were, they always seemed to find time for each other, slotting into the empty spaces of their schedules to make time. Jeongyeon supposes that if this is the end of her search, she wouldn't mind too much. Seeing two of her best friends finding an understanding with each other, it was… comforting. Comforting to the hollow in Jeongyeon’s heart.

Being the same age, they found a familiarity with each other that Jeongyeon couldn't help but appreciate. Mina brought back a childishness that Jihyo had lost through all the years she’d been forced to mature, and Jihyo brought a comfort no one else seemed to be able to. Like two halves of a puzzle that slotted into each other just right.

But some things, as perfect as they seemed, just weren't meant to last.

 

4.1 배배 꼬이는 내 말

 

Mina comes home on a rainy September afternoon, soaked to the bone and clutching a broken umbrella in her hand. She had smiled and hugged Jeongyeon and Jeongyeon let her, letting the chill of Autumn slip into her system, Mina’s tears scalding against her shoulder.

Jihyo calls her later that night, when Mina’s curled up on her side of the bed, finally changed out of her wet clothes and exhausted from crying. Jeongyeon hears the sadness in Jihyo’s voice, but also a hint of acceptance.

“Not in this lifetime, Jeongyeonie,” Jihyo tells her, voice clear despite the hustle and bustle of a crew and managers not too far away. “I’m not the one she’s looking for.”

Jeongyeon brushes Mina’s hair away from her face, a small smile crossing her lips when Mina follows her touch. “Did she tell you who she was looking for? Because I’m starting to feel a little more than lost.”

Jihyo laughs, thick with tears and the exhaustion only a full day of work in their field can bring. “Open your eyes a little wider, idiot. Your answer is right in front of you.”

Jihyo hangs up then, just as Mina stirs, and Jeongyeon has no more time left to think about Jihyo’s words.

“Jeongyeon?” Mina calls, hardly above a whisper and sure to be lost if anything in Mina’s room had been a little louder.

Jeongyeon hushes her and lets Mina pull her hand to her chest, holding it like a teddy bear. “I’m right here,” she tells her, heart heavy and full of affection. “I’ll always be here.”

 

4.2 깨고 싶지 않은 sweet dream

 

“How would you describe her?” Jeongyeon asks quietly when the news of Jihyo leaving for another world tour crosses their TV screen during dinner.

Mina is quiet for a moment, fiddling with the cap of her half-empty ketchup bottle. “Soulmate,” is the answer she offers in return, a sad but tender smile on her face.

Jeongyeon feels her heart stop, and she forces a cheeky smile to break the heavy atmosphere that started to cloud their home. “And me? What about me?”

Mina looks up and laughs at the silly smile on Jeongyeon’s face, and Jeongyeon knows she’d make a thousand more stupid faces just to see that gummy smile again.

“You’re my nojam roommate,” Mina teases, her free hand sliding under Jeongyeon’s like it always did whenever they were close enough.

Jeongyeon makes an indignant noise, knocking her foot against Mina’s under the table and earning a squeal of surprise. “Take it back!”

“You’ll have to catch me first,” Mina sing songs and takes off after sticking her tongue out, with Jeongyeon not too far behind. It ends with a breathless Mina begging for Jeongyeon to stop her assault on her poor sides, her cheeks crimson from laughter and eyes leaking with tears of joy. She was breathtaking, and Jeongyeon swears she could have kissed her right there. Mina, with her chocolate brown hair splayed across their couch cushions, chest heaving for breath, still full of giggles and a smile that could stop a thousand men.

“Mina…” Jeongyeon starts, and for once in her life, she wishes to be selfish. To tell Mina that she doesn't have to look further, that the perfect person is right there, that she wanted to kiss her for hours and hours and then some. “Mina, I…”

She never gets to finish, not when Mina retaliates and Jeongyeon crumbles into a mess of limbs and raucous laughter, her courage all but drained at Mina’s touch. Their dinner lies cold and forgotten on their kitchen table as they lie sweaty and breathless on their living room floor, feeling 17 all over again.

Mina is the first to break the silence again, and Jeongyeon is glad, tongue still caught in from her interrupted confession.

“You’re everything, Yoo Jeongyeon,” Mina says in that same dramatic voice she uses whenever she teases Jeongyeon, propped up on her elbow and smiling down upon her.

With the glow of the light above her, Mina almost looked like an angel, her hair illuminated with a halo, all in the comforts of their apartment. Jeongyeon closes her eyes and smiles at Mina’s words.

If she were to die right then, she supposes it wouldn't be so bad.

 

5.가슴이 쿵쿵 잊어보려 해도 머리에 둥둥 떠올라

 

Kim Dahyun, much like Jihyo, was a force, but for entirely different reasons.

Using her viral video to catapult into the media world, she stands as one of the youngest and most popular TV hosts in the country - and then some. From variety to award shows, Kim Dahyun is an unstoppable being that can draw just about anybody, dubbed as ‘The Nation’s First Love’ and for good reason. She was as beautiful as she was full of life, and she had that in spades.

To most people, she seems to be everything Mina wasn’t, and yet… they work together, and Jeongyeon is left to confront the fact that maybe opposites really do attract.

They meet when Mina goes to pick Jeongyeon up from shooting a variety show, and Dahyun nearly proposes to Mina on the spot. Mina had been surprised but pleased, leaving an ecstatic Dahyun with a phone number and one of Mina’s signature smiles.

Jeongyeon wonders, as she and Mina sit together in the car, if she should switch her occupation from model to matchmaker.

Dahyun starts spending more time at the apartment after her and Mina’s first date seems to go well. Jeongyeon almost always finds them seated by the coffee table, books and papers scattered around the place, with Dahyun seeming to pay more attention to Mina than whatever it was the other girl was trying to explain. Mina asks her to stay. Jeongyeon always declines.

She doesn't think she can bear Mina looking the way she does at Dahyun in the comforts of their own home.

Their presence in each other’s lives becomes clear to nearly everyone. Dahyun is even livelier as a host, always looking like she’s ready to take on the world. Mina grows a little sillier, picking up traits from Dahyun, even when she doesn't mean to. Dahyun and Mina made each other’s lives a little brighter, and a little wider. Dahyun’s co hosts never fail to tease about a certain Black Swan, and Mina earns her own few jabs whenever Jeongyeon hangs around her rehearsals.

It doesn't last, it never seems to, but Mina and Jeongyeon still attend Dahyun’s graduation. Jeongyeon steps away when they kiss, hidden away in a dark corner, away from the cameras and the public that always seemed to follow them.

Mina comes home with darker hair the next day, and Jeongyeon knows she’s given another piece of her heart away.

 

5.1 난 매일 니가 신경 쓰여 그냥 그저 니가 보고 싶어

 

“She asked me to marry her,” Mina tells Jeongyeon as they walk alongside the river close to their home, breaths billowing before them with each step they took. Mina keeps close to her, pulling her scarf a little tighter around her neck, the last days of Autumn giving way for Winter’s chill.

Jeongyeon, the embodiment of grace, nearly spits her drink out, ending up with a coughing fit, a laughing but concerned Mina, and the strange looks of passerbys. “She what? ”

“Dahyun asked me to marry her,” Mina repeats, her eyes sparkling with mirth, her hand trailing up and down Jeongyeon’s back.

Jeongyeon gapes for a moment, wondering if Mina was serious. “What did you say?”

“I told her that she was 21 years old, barely a graduate and had so much more to discover.” Mina says it like it’s the simplest thing in the world, slipping her hand back into Jeongyeon’s and pulling her along. People still talk, but Jeongyeon can’t find it in her to care anymore, more than accustomed to their stares.

“What did she say to that?” Jeongyeon asks, a sense of relief washing over her as she stumbles along after Mina, still shaken from her words. To think Dahyun had said those words so easily, had given her heart so freely.

Mina’s lips curve into a smile that tells Jeongyeon she has a secret, and Jeongyeon wishes Mina wouldn't hide from her. “She said she knew that wasn't the reason.”

Jeongyeon groans, squeezing Mina’s hand and giving her best puppy dog expression. “And will you tell me the real reason?”

Mina’s smile only grows wider, but her eyes speak differently. Jeongyeon doesn't think about it, especially when Mina kisses her cheek, stealing the last of their hot chocolate. “You’ll have to ask her yourself.”

 

5.2 어쩜 그리 내 맘 몰라줄까

 

“You proposed to her?” Jeongyeon clarifies when they’re left alone in the dressing room for a hot minute. Jeongyeon can hardly believe the courage Dahyun has, especially when she’s shaken to the core from a single look.

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t, unnie,” Dahyun puffs out, but still flushes, the redness creeping down her neck. She shrugs her shoulders, seeming to be embarrassed about it - at least a little. “Girls like Mina unnie - they’re one in a million.”

Jeongyeon leans back in her seat with a heavy breath as the make up artists come back into the room, head swimming at Dahyun’s courage and easy nature. “Well, at least you're right about that.”

On a sunny October morning, rumors of Dahyun and Momo dating fill their timelines, and Mina smiles knowingly at her over her honeyed tea.

 

5.3 내 맘 속엔 언제나 너인데 그저 초조하게 기다리고 있어

 

“I miss you.”

Jeongyeon’s lips curve into a smile at Mina’s words, slumping further into the seat of the van, her bones heavy from a whole day of shooting. After a whole day of smiling for the camera, this is the only one that feels real. She wonders if Mina is tired too, sure to be busy with her own shooting, featuring in another one of Jihyo’s music videos. “I miss you too. How’s Switzerland?”

“It’s beautiful, Jeongyeon,” Mina breathes out, her voice full of awe and wonder. Jeongyeon hears the rustling of sheets and closes her eyes for a moment, wishing… “But I wish you were here to see it, too. I think you’d like it.” A pause. “Jihyo thinks so, too.”

Jeongyeon opens her eyes at the reminder that they were together again, as friends and nothing more. “How is she?” She asks, when she wants to ask a different question entirely.

“She’s good,” Mina hums, a hint of amusement seeping into her voice. “I think she’s seeing someone - someone we know.”

Jeongyeon’s eyebrows furrow at that, especially when Jihyo hadn't mentioned anything to her. “Oh yeah? Who?”

“Sana,” Mina replies laughingly, and Jeongyeon straightens in her seat immediately, echoing her response.

“ Sana?” Jeongyeon wonders if she misheard, knowing Nayeon had texted her that morning, declining joining her for lunch because of a date with Sana. “But-”

“I think she’s dating Nayeon, too.” Jeongyeon wishes she could see Mina then, wishes she could see the mirth in her eyes, wishes to see if she was really okay about all of this. Jeongyeon wishes for many things, but mostly she wishes that Mina was really with her, to make the emptiness of their apartment a little more bearable.

“She’s unbelievable.” Jeongyeon envies her. Sana has two girlfriends and she can't even be woman enough to confess to one.

“I know.” Mina’s laughter tumbles through the speaker again, and Jeongyeon is happy to be able to make her laugh even she’s so far away. “That means you have to step your game up, Yoo Jeongyeon. I’ll be waiting.”

Mina ends the call before Jeongyeon can reply, but Jeongyeon’s heart feels lighter than it has in the past year.

Jeongyeon is left with a ridiculous phone bill and a scolding from her managers, but when she sweeps Mina into her arms at the airport a week later, Jeongyeon doesn’t give it a second thought.

 

6.머릿속엔 늘 영화 속 같은

 

“Jeongyeon, how do you even know these people?”

Jeongyeon wonders the same thing when she picks Son Chaeyoung up from the airport, fresh from her studies in Paris and greeting her with the dimpled smile she missed so much. Chaeyoung nearly tackles her with a hug, and Jeongyeon ruffles her now short hair, earning a whine and a shove.

Jeongyeon had missed her, the baby sister she’d always wanted but never had, and she’s happy to be with her. Chaeyoung was an art prodigy, swept away as a child for her promise in the field, wise beyond her years and full of flowery words and conviction that someone else her age could only dream of. Chaeyoung was a reflection of her art in every sense of the word, odd and mysterious and captivating, speaking a thousand words with just one look.

Chaeyoung meets Mina, and it all seems to melt away and intensify all in one go.

They seem to find solace in each other right away, Mina often joining Chaeyoung as she explored the city to find inspiration for her new works. It seemed Chaeyoung didn't need to look far, when Jeongyeon visits her at her apartment and finds canvases with Mina standing in Winter wonderlands, Mina mid leap in a performance, Mina the same but different - a perspective only Chaeyoung could see.

Mina, for once, is quiet about Chaeyoung. She leaves Jeongyeon to line the pieces up, to watch Mina text Chaeyoung over dinner, excuse herself during their game tournaments, give Jeongyeon sweet apologies over not being able to make lunch.

Winter has come, but there was nothing but warmth blossoming between Mina and Chaeyoung.

She trails behind them one Winter afternoon, when the river has frozen over and the snow has settled over the city like a blanket. She shoves her hands into her pockets and heaves out a breath, her earmuffs protecting her from the low murmur of Mina and Chaeyoung’s chatter in front of her. Jeongyeon is surprised when Chaeyoung asks to talk to her, Mina stepping away for a moment to buy coffee for them all.

“You’re so obvious, unnie,” Chaeyoung breathes out, kicking a pile of snow and watching the flakes flutter down, powdering Chaeyoung’s hair. Chaeyoung sneezes and Jeongyeon rolls her eyes affectionately, pressing a tissue pack into her hand.

Jeongyeon brushes snow off Chaeyoung’s shoulders, and wonders if she could ever really hide anything from the tiny enigma standing beside her. “What are you talking about?”

“We’re not dating,” Chaeyoung tells her in lieu of an answer to her question, and Jeongyeon’s head snaps up so fast her earmuffs almost fall off. Chaeyoung is smiling at her, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “But it was funny to see how sulky you got whenever we were together.”

“I was not sulky!” Jeongyeon defends, tossing a handful of snow at Chaeyoung and grinning at her startled shriek.

“That’s about as true as you being straight,” Chaeyoung shoots back, with her own handful of snow. They spend the next minute trying to shove snow down each other’s shirts, and soon collapse onto a park bench, chests heaving. Chaeyoung rests her head against her shoulder, voice barely above a murmur. “Just tell her, unnie. What have you got to lose?”

Jeongyeon sobers a little then, watching the snow melt into the fabric of her jacket, fingers frozen and trembling from digging through the snow. “Everything, Chaeyoungie.”

Chaeyoung only gives her a smile, one that tells Jeongyeon she knows something Jeongyeon doesn't, and wonders what else she doesn’t know about the girl bundled up beside her. “You won't know until you try.”

Jeongyeon is left sitting there with Chaeyoung’s hurried goodbyes, just as Mina returns with their drinks. Jeongyeon hops back up to her feet when Mina tilts her head in question, wrapped up in three jackets and looking smaller than ever.

“Where’s Chaeyoung?” Mina asks, hands still curled around two cups, one for Chaeyoung - the other for them to share.

“She said she had to go,” Jeongyeon offers lamely, because Chaeyoung left her with nothing more than a wink and a punch to the shoulder. She steps closer to Mina as she hums, pouting a little, and fixes Mina’s scarf, brushing her hair away from her face.

Just tell her.

Chaeyoung’s voice rings in her head as Mina smiles up at her, pink cheeked and eyes sparkling. “Mina…”

She looks up at Jeongyeon expectantly, and… Jeongyeon can't do it, instead pulling off her earmuffs and placing them over Mina’s ears instead. “You’re full of snots,” She teases, her heart hammering a mile a minute.

There’s a flash in Mina’s eyes - disappointment? - before she huffs and pouts further and starts stomping away from her. “You’re so mean, Yoo Jeongyeon!”

Jeongyeon laughs and follows after her, like she always does, like she always will. Mina only smiles over her shoulder, silver tooth glinting in the sun, and Jeongyeon falls in love all over again, just as easily as the snow falls.

 

6.1 다가가볼까 도망가버리면 어떡해

 

“You didn't tell her?” Chaeyoung lounges on an old beach chair she found in town on one of her and Mina’s adventures, nursing a bottle of beer with a grimace. It’s freezing out on the balcony and their teeth are chattering, but Chaeyoung wants to see the city, and Jeongyeon can’t help but indulge her.

Jeongyeon lets out a sigh, stretched out on a mismatched chair beside her, nursing a beer of her own. “I didn't tell her.”

“Idiot,” Chaeyoung tsks, knocking her bottle gently against Jeongyeon’s temple.

Jeongyeon only hums and leans into the cool surface. There wasn't much she could say to that.

Mina is waiting for her when she returns that night, heartbroken and drunk and helpless. Mina doesn't say a word when she cries.

When Mina presses a cup of coffee and two painkillers into her hand in the morning, Jeongyeon smiles and maybe they’re still ok, even with all this.

 

6.2 아무리 널 보며 눈치를 줘도

 

“You act like this is the first time you’ve ever come over for Christmas.”

Jeongyeon jumps at the sound of Mina’s voice, half expecting her brother to come bursting through the door. It certainly wasn’t the first time she’d visited Mina’s family home in Japan for the holidays, but it was the first time Mr and Mrs Myoui genuinely thought that she was dating their daughter.

“What do you look so scared for?” Mina asks with an amused smile, climbing onto the bed beside her, looking cozy with her fuzzy socks and giant college sweater - her brother’s. She drapes herself over Jeongyeon’s lap, and Jeongyeon is left to gaze down upon her, messy haired and full from Christmas dinner.

“Your brother thinks we’re actually dating and he gave me ‘the talk’,” Jeongyeon sighs out, and Mina laughs, brighter than the Christmas lights Mrs Myoui had hung up outside the house. Jeongyeon pouts and smacks Mina’s stomach lightly, and Mina lets out an exaggerated oof , catching Jeongyeon’s hand in hers. “Why didn't you correct him?”

“Why should I?” Mina shoots back, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world, as if it wouldn't turn Jeongyeon’s world upside down. Mina looks at her then, her eyes searching Jeongyeon’s. “Would it be so bad? To date me?”

Jeongyeon’s phone rings, and she doesn't get to answer, stepping outside to talk to her parents and sisters, leaving Mina sitting on her bed and avoiding her gaze. She seems to be asleep when she steps back inside, turned away from her and Jeongyeon sighs, but feels an excitement in her heart that gives her… hope. She presses a light kiss to Mina’s head and sinks down onto the bed beside her, closing her eyes and holding onto the hope that maybe, maybe Mina felt the same way as she did.

When she wakes, Mina is tangled up in her arms and Jeongyeon knows what she’d give just to spend every morning just like this.

 

6.3 너와 나 against the world 난 두렵지 않아

 

“How many more years do you think we’ll have like this?” Mina asks her, minutes away from midnight, wrapped up in blankets and Jeongyeon’s arms. The TV plays quietly inside as they stand on their balcony, cold but together, Jeongyeon’s chin resting on Mina’s shoulder.

“10 years?” Jeongyeon jokes lightly at first, earning a harrumph and a nudge. “Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, forever and ever.”

“Promise?” Mina’s voice is quiet then, the same as it had been not too long ago when they sat together on Mina’s childhood bed.

Jeongyeon holds her closer and hums, her heart more thunderous than the celebrations that sounded from the city below them. “I promise.”

Mina seems content then, craning her neck and pressing a kiss to the corner of Jeongyeon’s mouth, stealing her breath and stilling her heart. “Happy New Year, Jeongyeon-san.”

The hand of the clock turns and the year begins once more, and Jeongyeon can barely find it in her to do anything but hold Mina tight. “Happy New Year, Mina-ssi.”

 

7.너를 미치게 해

 

They’re weeks into the new year and navigating between what had happened during Christmas when they come across a shivering pup in a cardboard box right outside their apartment. They share one look before Mina carries the pup in her arms, cooing absently as Jeongyeon leads the way inside.

They bump into Chou Tzuyu, who’s talking rapidly on the phone to someone, armed with blankets and a fierce look of worry in her face. All three of them share a look, before the bundle in Mina’s arms whimpers and Tzuyu springs into actions, hanging up on the phone and taking the lead. Jeongyeon follows both Mina and Tzuyu as Tzuyu takes the pup, leading the way to her apartment, intent on nursing the pup back to good health. Mina falls asleep on Tzuyu’s couch beside the puppy and Tzuyu finds a seat beside Jeongyeon, both of them unable to take their eyes away.

“She’s pretty, unnie,” Tzuyu comments quietly, resting a head on her shoulder and looking her age for once, hair tied up messily and small in a hoody Jeongyeon swears she’s seen before. “Is she your girlfriend?”

Tzuyu had been Jeongyeon’s last candidate before everything that had happened, a veterinary student and part time model - the only reason Jeongyeon knew her at all. Tzuyu was quiet and kept to herself, but softened around Jeongyeon, and Jeongyeon loved her as much as she loved Chaeyoung, close to her heart.

Jeongyeon looks at Tzuyu, bundled up beside her as she gazes upon Mina, and swallows the lump in . “No, she’s not.”

Tzuyu lifts her gaze and doesn't say a word, but she doesn't have to. She’s like Chaeyoung like that, too

Mina starts spending more time at Tzuyu’s apartment to check on the puppy, and Jeongyeon’s heart is thrown into turmoil once more.

 

7.1 네가 먼저 내 맘을 흔들고 날 떠난 건

 

Tzuyu and the puppy, Minjoong, become a regular presence in their home. She always brings snacks as abundant as the books she brings, and often falls asleep at their coffee table, with a fond smile tugging at Mina’s lips whenever she drapes a blanket over the other girl’s shoulders.

“I want to keep her forever,” Mina whispers to her  from the couch, seated beside Tzuyu’s napping figure, and Jeongyeon laughs, because she’d felt the same way the first time she met Tzuyu, too. Jeongyeon watches as Mina brushes Tzuyu’s hair away from her face, with a feather like touch and gentleness she’d once seen with Momo, with Jihyo.

Mina’s heart opens just as the flowers do, and Jeongyeon is left to wonder if the days she’d spent with Mina were all just a dream.

 

7.2 터질듯한 심장이

 

“You don’t mind, do you, unnie?”

Jeongyeon looks up at the girl before her, barely an adult and looking even younger now with the way her eyes shined. Tzuyu doesn't mention any names, but Jeongyeon already knows by the way Tzuyu stands before her, the most hesitant she’d ever seen her.

“Of course not,” Jeongyeon replies, and her heart begins to break all over again, reaching out to squeeze Tzuyu’s hands - ice cold. “If she makes you happy…”

Tzuyu embraces her then, arms around her waist and face burrowed into her shoulder. She might get scolded by the make up artists later, but Tzuyu only clings tighter, her voice shaking. “But what’s left for you?”

“Let me worry about that,” Jeongyeon soothes, voice low as she dares anyone to stare. She gives Tzuyu a gentle squeeze, pulling back to look at her. “Just keep her happy.”

Tzuyu smiles, dimpled and wary, but delighted as she thanks Jeongyeon. She steps away then, as if nothing has happened, as if they weren't both hung over the same girl.

Tzuyu and Mina are careful and quiet, but it ends the same way the others did.

Valentine’s day is spent with Mina wrapped up in the sheets of her bed, drunk and red-eyed, her touch burning when her fingers trace across Jeongyeon’s jaw.

“Do you have such little faith in my heart, Yoo Jeongyeon?” Mina murmurs, voice drawn and tongue heavy from alcohol, and Jeongyeon can’t help but stare, her heart feeling even heavier.

“What do you mean?” Jeongyeon can’t help but ask, eyes wide and searching, for answers, for anything.

Mina falls asleep before she can say anything else, but she holds Jeongyeon’s hand the entire night, and Jeongyeon’s heart doesn’t rest any easier.

 

7.3 난 그대만의 Sweet love sweet love

 

Chaeyoung calls her weeks later, about a girl and a dog, and how she’s fallen in love with her, and when Tzuyu settles into the makeup chair beside her in one of Chaeyoung’s hoodies, Jeongyeon knows.

 

8. 내가 바로 바로 바라는 소원

 

Mina turns 23 and the world still turns, but Jeongyeon stands before her in the clothes they’d bought the last time they went shopping, hands trembling as they hold a bouquet of Mina’s favourite flowers. Mina turns 23 and Jeongyeon tells herself that maybe, she shouldn’t be waiting around for something to happen. Mina turns 23 and Jeongyeon realizes they’re not getting younger, and the whisper of her promise lingers in her ear.

If they don't work out, I’ll take you out myself. To make up for all of the trouble.

Mina turns 23 and stands before Jeongyeon, her skirt fluttering in the wind and her eyes sparkling with surprise and amusement. “What’s all this, Yoo Jeongyeon?”

“Go out with me, Myoui Mina,” Jeongyeon manages to get out, tight and her heart threatening to burst out of her chest. She steps closer, pressing the flowers into waiting hands, admiring the gentle blush that clouds Mina’s cheeks. “To make up for all the trouble I’ve put your heart through.”

Mina grows quiet for a moment, and Jeongyeon feels like she’s holding her breath for an eternity when Mina finally looks up, eyes brighter than she’s ever seen them. “I’d love to.”

Jeongyeon takes her hand then, and feels her heart settle and flutter at the same time, ignited at Mina’s simple touch, and she feels whole once more.

Their adventure takes them all around town, basking in the soft Spring sunlight and each other’s presence, stepping into hole in the wall coffee shops and trying foods they’d never had before. Today, Jeongyeon is behind the camera, capturing her new found memories with Mina in more than just her heart, relishing in every smile, in the way the light creates halos in her hair, forever making Jeongyeon wonder how lucky she was to have a real angel by her side. In all the years they’ve lived in the city and lived with each other, Jeongyeon learns there’s much more to discover, and Jeongyeon’s heart feels full, bursting at the seams with the smile that never seems to leave Mina’s lips.

For once, Jeongyeon and Mina pay no heed to the cameras that trail ever so tirelessly behind them, lost in the world and each other - as if that’s where they should have been in the first place.

They collapse onto the grass of the park by their home when the sun has hidden behind the skyscrapers of the city, exhausted but content, b with the newness and the familiarity of Mina, and Jeongyeon, and the reality of their finally being together. Mina turns 23 and is soft, and warm, and beautiful. And Jeongyeon loves her, and she’s loved her for so long Jeongyeon can’t even imagine the thought of not doing so.

“Mina-ssi,” Jeongyeon calls, her right hand tucked into Mina’s left, and when Mina turns her head towards her, Jeongyeon feels 15 again, seeing Mina for the first time.

“Yes, Jeongyeon-san?” Mina answers with a knowing smile, and maybe Mina’s known all along, maybe they’ve both known that this was where they’d end up anyway.

“Mina, I love you.” The words tumble out before she can stop them, but Jeongyeon’s not even sure if she wants to anymore, if she can even keep them in anymore. Mina turns 23 and Jeongyeon finally tells her, and her heart feels so light she feels she might fly away.

Mina only flashes her sweet gummy smile before Jeongyeon feels the touch of Mina’s lips against hers, stealing her breath and kickstarting her heart all over again. Mina kisses her and Jeongyeon melts, spilling her heart out for the girl she’s loved from the moment she laid her eyes on her. Mina kisses her and Jeongyeon feels the world crumble away, left with nothing but Mina, Mina, Mina.

“Does this mean you feel the same way?” Jeongyeon asks breathlessly when they break away, foreheads pressed to the other’s and noses brushing, hardly able to keep away from each other. Mina’s laughter fills the air and Jeongyeon’s heart stutters, her fingers curling tighter around Mina’s.

“Yes, you pabo,” Mina tells her through her laughter, her free hand cupping her jaw, thumb tracing over her cheek. “I love you too, Jeongyeon. I have for a long, long while.”

Jeongyeon only kisses her again, a pleased grin on her face. Their managers give them an earful the next day and their phones blow up with ‘finally’s ’ and ‘ i told you so’s ’, but when Jeongyeon turns her head and finds Mina with the same, tender knowing smile, it makes it all worth it.