The night was chilly, everyone was taking rushing steps trying to make least contact with the outside world. The cold of the late autumn night brings shiver to whoever that get a kiss from it. From the window of the cafe down the street, a cute young boy that is holding a cup of warm chocolate was staring out of the window, wearing a warm smile on his boyish face that could warm you up inside. Just like his warm personality too. His fluffy brown hair falls on the right place when his slender fingers grab a fistful of it, trying to fix his already perfect appearance; warm smile was still decorating his pretty face. Still offering his smile to the passerby that looked at his way. But with all the people rushing their way at the street, they don't really notice that there was a hint of sadness in his round eyes. The sadness that he had been holding back for a quite a while. he put his cup of hot chocolate on the table in front of him. he was thankful by the fact that she was inside of the cozy cafe, he always hates cold weather, the cold wind that can send a shiver. he also hates how it reminds him of a certain someone that used to be his source of warmth.

His gaze dropped down to his slim fingers that have a little shiny ring. The bright smile suddenly faltered; replaced by a sad bitter smile. Trying his best not to let himself break when the dull pain suddenly hit her heart. For him, all of those sweet memories that they created together are still fresh in his mind like it was just yesterday that they get together. His sweet word, his gentle and loving gaze always make him feel loved. All of the cuddling, sweet kisses that they shared. The rude stolen kisses from him still make his heart flutter like they never did before. His laughter warmed her in ways a jacket couldn't. His hand was his favorite, he loves how his large, strong hand caressing his smooth flushed cheeks whenever he teases him with those cheesy line he found on Internet. How he wrapped it around her waist, keeping him warm, keeping him body still, but his heart jumping in the inside. A smile appears on his face at the thoughts of him. How much he loves him. How much they love each other.

“Hey.” greeted a rough voice that makes his heart beats fast. he looked up to greet the boy who was standing in front of him with a bright smile that used to catch his heart. Used to. “Hi, Jun.” His eyes scanning the face that he missed so much this past few months. They barely see each other since they started to go on their own path, chasing after their dreams. His face still remained as how he remember but paler and a little swollen, maybe because of the cold. His hair was up; his sharp nose was a little red maybe from the cold too. His eyes baring hole right into his. His plump lips sealed tight, no smile on his lips. His face wearing an unimpressed expression. His heart ached a little. He used to be so eager to see him. “Have a sit.” he tried to break the silent. He let out a low annoyed groan but it reached his ears. It’s okay. Maybe June is tired, that’s all. Hanbin try to soothe his own heart. June took a sit on the opposite side of Hanbin. They were facing each other. Hanbin was holding his breath without his knowing. he felt like he was about to be thrown into hell. But if he is hell, Hanbin will gladly enjoy the burn. But June was field of snow in the winter. He was just too cold. Too cold for Hanbin to bear. Even just his cold gaze right now kills Hanbin inside out. June knows how he hates winter, that’s why he became one. Just to make him stay away from him. Hanbin put his small palms around his hot cup of drinks as if he was seeking for warmth. Both of them were quite for a few minutes. Both were drifted away in their own world, Hanbin was looking through June while June was looking through his phone. “How are you doing lately?” he decided to start the conversation. June look up a little, stealing a look at Hanbin’s flushed face. June knew that he was hurting Hanbin. He can see it through Hanbin’s eyes. He knew him too well for Hanbin to hide something from him. June threw his cold gaze to the window, looking at the people passing by them. With a bored voice he replied shortly. “I'm doing great, as you can see.”. “Well, I'm doing great too.” Hanbin said without June asking. He started to fiddle with his phone when another silent grow between them. In others eyes, lovers ere the last thing that they would assume about the two of them. “How is noona doing? I haven't see her these days.” he tried again. Hanbin’s eyes looking at his fingers. he didn't think that he could keep going without breaking down if he kept on looking at June’s bored face. It just broke his heart how June had changed. He just let Hanbin’s question left unanswered. He let out a loud sigh this time. He rubbed his face out of frustration. “What are you trying to do right now, Hanbin-ah?” He said with another loud sigh.  Hanbin looked up to stare at his face. His pink lips gaping as if he wanted to say something in reply but his voice was not coming out. June only stare at him, waiting for Hanbin to answer him. “I- I'm j-just...” he finally found his voice to reply. Hanbin stopped mid-sentence, trying to control himself. “I... I just miss you, June.” His gaze dropped down again. Hanbin could feel tears welling up in his pretty eyes.

 “What happened to us, June?” Hanbin asked with a shaky voice. “Every night I wonder; I think to myself what went wrong. Was it me?” This time Hanbin looked up. Trying to meet June’s eyes. Like his brown eyes will provide him the answer that he had been looking for.  June only remained silent. Trying not to meet Hanbin’s longing eyes. Hanbin really wanted June to answer him. Hanbin spent all night crying and wondering, wishing that he could find the answer but the more he digs, the sadder he became because it just made Hanbin realized a sad truth that he wishes to deny so much “You just don't love anymore, do you?” he said with a low voice. he was afraid that June will answer him. “Tell me that you love me, June.” he pleaded with a teary eye. Not trying to hide his sad feeling anymore. “I-I'm sorry, Hanbin-ah” June said with a low voice. Hanbin shook his head, trying to deny his breaking heart. he smiled. “No, no. I know you are joking, babe. I know that you are trying to pull a joke on me again right?” he said with a bright voice. Leaning in to the table in front of them, trying to search for his eyes. June looked at him with a cold gaze as if Hanbin’s big glassy eyes did nothing to him. With a stern voice he replied “No. Hanbin, stop trying to deny it. I don't lo-” “NO! It's not funny anymore, June. Stop it! You are hurting me right now.” Tears that he had been holding back starts to flow down his red cheeks. Still shaking his head. Hanbin reached out for his hands that were on the table, holding it in his smaller palms. June let out another sigh. “Stop it, Hanbin. We know that one day this will happen. Its normal.” Hanbin squeezed June’s hands. Trying to gain more energy. “No, we are different. You promised me forever, June...” His voice trembling. “Forever can be just a minute.” June replied, throwing his gaze out the window again. No more talking from both of them. Only the sound of Hanbin’s crying doing the talking. Telling him how much he is breaking him. How much he is hurting him. The sound of Hanbin’s crying trying to reach for June’s heart.  His old heart. The heart that couldn't bear the sight of his tears. The heart that would break if Hanbin’s is breaking. The heart that used to feel the same as him.

June pulled his hands from Hanbin grip. June’s right hand digging into the coat he was wearing. He stopped searching when he felt his long fingers touching a small cold metal. He took out the ring that used to decorate his fingers too. He put the ring on the table. Pushing it to Hanbin. “I think we should just. Stop... I'm sorry, Hanbin-ah.” He said after gathering his courage. He looked at Hanbin’s face before he continued. “It’s a human nature to seek for the best for themselves. I found someone better for me. And I think you will find someone better than me too.” He said with a guilty voice. Hanbin close his eyes, he felt like he couldn’t breath. The pain that she was feeling was taking over his body. Hanbin bended his body a little. Trying to hide the streams of tears that are coming out of his eyes. his hands clutching his chest. Her heart felt like it had been stabbed with a knife. Not a sharp knife but a rusty one. The blunt tip of the rusty knife pushing on his glassy heart, trying to breakthrough before it actually did. The bumpy surface makes thing even more painful. he wished he could throw the knife to the window so the window would break instead of his heart. “I’m not going to give up on us. No.” he said, wiping his tear-stained cheeks before he looked up. Looking at June straight in his cold brown eyes with his warm eyes. Trying to melt his. “If that’s the case, the-then, I will change for you. Just tell me what should I do to win you back.” he pleaded for the thousandth time. June shook his head in disagreement. “I don't want you to change. You are perfect just the way you are, baby.” June tried to console his stubborn lover. He reached out to wipe the tears that were staining Hanbin’s flushed cheeks. June’s finger felt so cold against Hanbin’s warm cheeks. “ But I changed, June. You changed me the moment you loved me. I can't live without you. I'm lost when I'm not with you.” More tears flow out of her red eyes. “If I'm perfect just the way I am, then why? Why can't you love me anymore? This doesn't make any sense. I love you. I love you, Koo Junhoe. It will be that way for the rest of my life.” Hanbin looked at June’s poker face.

Suddenly the air in the coffee shop felt so suffocating for Hanbin. Hanbin’s chest heaving up and down. “I’m sorry but I can’t- I don't love you anymore, baby.” June kept on using his favorite nickname in hope to melt Hanbin’s stubborn heart. “Stop calling me baby. You said you don't love me anymore. Stop giving me hope. You make me think that you still love me, June.” Hanbin’s heart breaking again. “You just have a change of heart. I know you, you still love me. I don't want to talk to you anymore. I'll talk to you later. I know you will change your mind. You will realized that you still love me.” he said with a stern voice. “I really hope you do...” Hanbin continued with a barely out voice. Hanbin can be so stubborn at time. Junhoe rubbed his eyes with his fingers in frustration. Hanbin got off his chair. he can't stay in here any longer. The warmth of the shop doesn't match Hanbin’s cold empty heart now. It doesn't feel that nice anymore to be in here. he didn't want to cry anymore. Not in front of June. he wanted to show him how strong, how determine he was to make this work again for them even though she was breaking so bad. he quickly made his way to the door when after gathering his belongings. His eyes b with tears again when he turned his back to June. Some part of Hanbin was afraid that this will actually be the last time that he could see June. What if after this June doesn’t want to see him anymore? his fingers cupping his mouth, trying to muffle up his sobbing. When the cold winter wind greeted him, he started to sob his heart out. The cold wind felt so comforting. The cold weather was nothing compared to his cold empty heart right now. he walked past the coffee shop. he could see that Junhoe was still in his sit with his head resting in his arms on the table. If he just took a better look on him, Hanbin would see how June’s body was shaking. If not because of Hanbin’s blurry mind, he would have known that June was crying from his posture. He hates people seeing him cry except for Hanbin. June really wanted to hug and shower Hanbin with kisses so bad. He really wanted to tell Hanbin that he still loves him, and he forever will. It broke his heart looking at his baby like that.

“This is the best for you, baby. I'm so sorry for hurting you so bad. I will love you till the end of my short life and even in the afterlife. I will wait for you there, Hanbin-ah. I will miss your smile, your warm laughter. Your soothing voice that never failed to make me fall for you all over again. Your eyes that look at me with so much love that I don't even deserve.” Junhoe say with a husky voice, wishing that he could say it to Hanbin instead. His thought full of their memories. A vivid image of Hanbin’s cute whining and cute pout decorating his face whenever he loses a battle with Jinhwan hyung. His agree face whenever he is mad with June silly doings. His thought was disturbed with his buzzing phone. His noona’s contact name popped up on his smartphone’s screen. He would already imagine how worried his noona would be when she found him missing from the ward. A sad smile decorated his handsome pale face. He stood up, ready to leave the cafe too. He made his way to the door with a heavy footstep. He stopped in his way when he felt a hot liquid running out of his sharp nose. He took out a handkerchief that Hanbin gave to him before and wipe his nose. He sadly stared at the piece of cotton made handkerchief that is now wet with a bright red color. A stream of tears flowed out again. His head feel so heavy “Hanbin..” June mumbled his name before his vision grew dark. He could hear a voice screaming, asking other people to call an ambulance. He could hear a voice asking if he is okay. But he didn't have the strength to reply to the voice. He slowly lost his consciousness.

Hanbin was still walking down the street. Hugging his own arms. Tears still decorating his pretty face, he doesn’t care what other people was talking about when they saw him sobbing. Down the street he could hear the sound of ambulance. he didn’t know why but it made him cry harder. he just wished he can be in June’s arm right now; he was longing to hear June’s husky voice comforting him even though he was the one who break his heart this bad. Hanbin wanted to be in his embrace so bad. He wanted June to soothe him to sleep while singing near to his ear until he falls asleep. Hanbin just wanted June back with him.