Songs Part Three: My Regret

“Do you need something?”

“Y-yes.”

“Well? What is it?”

Silence.

“Come on. You probably have all day, but I don’t.”

No response.

“This is hopeless.” Yuri stood up from her seat to leave but stopped when she heard the other girl speak.

“How is she?”

She scoffed. “What do you think?”

Tiffany kept mum.

“She’s great. In fact, she’s having the time of her life!”

Tiffany’s heart broke. I did this.

“Why do you even care, Tiffany?”

“She was my girlfriend, Yuri. Of course I care.”

“Was. Why care only now? You practically killed her, revived her, only to kill her again! You stabbed her heart a million times before stepping on it mercilessly when you two were together and now, four months after, you tell me that you care? I hope you’re not expecting me to believe you.”

“I never stopped caring for her.”

“Biggest. Lie. Ever.”

She couldn’t say anything.

“Why exactly did you make me come here, Tiffany?”

“I want to talk to her.”

“And you think I’m going to let you? You think I’m going to tell you where she is? Are you really that dumb?”

Tiffany looked down.

“Tiffany, you’re Yoona’s friend, but seriously, I hate you for doing to this to Taeyeon. I can’t let you meet her unless you give me a d*mn good reason why I should.”

“I miss her.”

Yuri shook her head. “I need something more than that. Missing her just doesn’t cut it, I’m sorry.”

She didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

-

“You called?”

“Sunny,” she let out a weak smile as her friend came to sit in front of her.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

Her smile disappeared and she looks down. “I made a big mistake.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I made the biggest mistake of my life.”

“Which is?”

“Breaking up with her.”

“Her who? Jessica? What? You broke up? It’s only been four months! Why did you break up?”

“Well, yes… but no.”

“What?”

She sighed. “I did break up with Jessica but that’s not the break up I’m talking about.”

“Well if it’s not Jessica then…”

She nodded. “Yes, Taeyeon.”

Sunny frowned. “Well, this is interesting. Why are you suddenly regretting your decision? Weren’t you the one who kept ignoring and brushing her off despite her efforts of going out with you?”

“I know but… I don’t know actually. I just regret it.”

“Maybe you’re just missing her. It’s normal since you were together for six years.” Sunny paused. “Well, seven, actually, if you count your last date at Sooyoung’s bar.”

Tiffany glared at Sunny but the latter remained unfazed.

“As I was saying, maybe you just miss her.”

Tiffany sighed. “I don’t know. I kept remembering her even when I was Jessica. Like how she’d always wake up a little earlier to make breakfast for me, or how she’d stay up late to wait for me to go home from work, or how she’d hold my hand when she’s driving or wh–”

“And Jessica never did all those?”

She shook her head.

“I thought you love Jessica? Wasn’t that the reason why you cheated on Taeyeon in the first place?”

Tiffany flinched at the painful reminder of her stupidity. “I do… I did… or I thought I did. Everything changed when I saw Taeyeon a month after at the mall with some girl. I felt jealous and they weren’t even doing anything intimate! It was weird because I never felt anything like that whenever I saw Jessica with someone else.”

“Aren’t you kind of playing with their feelings? First it was Taeyeon, then Jessica. And now you’re suddenly missing Taeyeon. Make up your mind, woman!”

“I can’t! That’s what you’re here for!”

Sunny looked at her incredulously “To make up your mind for you?! You have got to be kidding me, Tiffany! You got yourself in that mess, you get yourself out. I already helped you out when you told me you were sure Jessica was the one you wanted to spend forever with, despite completely hating the idea of cheating, and here you are now, suddenly changing your mind? Don’t you think your idea of forever is kind of short?”

“I–”

“You know, when you told me about what Yuri said, I was actually mad at her. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t she just tell you where Taeyeon is. But now, after talking to you, I’m sorry, but I’m with her on this.”

Tiffany stared at her friend.

“You’re my friend and I love you, I really do. But this, what you’re doing, is getting out of hand. The only advice I can give you right now is to sort out your feelings. Think about everything, and I really mean think. Consider all the possible consequences. You’re basically telling me that you still love her and that you want her back, right?”

Tiffany nodded.

“But are you really sure that you love her and not just miss the things she used to do? Based on what you’ve told me, you just started thinking about her again when you realized that Jessica wasn’t all that sweet.”

She sighed.

“If you’re only going back to Taeyeon because you suddenly realized that the relationship you had with her was something most people would kill for and not because you actually still love her and want her back, then please stop. I don’t personally know Taeyeon, but I can imagine how much hurt she went through months ago. I think it’d finally finish her off if you’ll just hurt her again.”

She nodded. “I’ll try to sort out my feelings.”

“Good.”

-

“I can’t believe I’m here again.”

“Stop complaining, Yuri.”

“Thank you, Yoona.” Tiffany smiled at the youngest.

Yoona nodded but didn’t return the smile. “Yes, okay. Now, you do know that I still haven’t forgiven you right? I’m only here because Yuri told me about your meeting the other day and I wanted to hear what you have to say.”

Tiffany nodded.

“So, speak.”

Tiffany sighed. “I miss her.”

Yoona raised her eyebrow. “Okay?” She motioned for Tiffany to continue.

“I want to talk to her; to explain everything.”

Yuri leaned forward. “What exactly are you going to say? ‘Taeyeon, I’m sorry for cheating on you. I thought I loved Jessica but I realized now that I have always loved you?’”

“N-no.”

Yoona and Yuri waited for her to proceed.

“I-I did realize that I still love her after much contemplating, but no, that’s not what I’m going to say.”

“Do you have some kind of switch or something? Click! You love her. Click! You don’t love her. Click! You cheat on her. Click! You love her again!” Yuri said disbelievingly.

Tiffany looked at Yoona for some help, but the girl just stared at her.

“Say something!” Yuri exclaimed, almost slamming her palms against the table separating her from Tiffany.

“Yuri, calm down,” Yoona finally said.

“I don’t see the point of talking to her, Yoona. She doesn’t deserve Taeyeon,” Yuri said as she leaned back on her chair and crossed her arms.

Tiffany started to feel her eyes water from what Yuri said. She’s right.

Yuri and Yoona stared at the now-sobbing girl. They had different expressions. One was of sympathy while the other was that of disbelief.

“Why are you crying?”

“She realizes that I’m right and that she doesn’t deserve Taeyeon.” Yuri said.

Tiffany sobbed a little bit harder. I can’t take this anymore. She stood up and grabbed her things before dashing out the door, leaving the Yuri and Yoona behind.

“Hm, well that was rude of her.”

Yoona sighed. “Yul, you didn’t have to say that.”

Yuri shrugged. “It’s the truth though. She doesn’t deserve Taeyeon.”

“I know, but what if she really realized that she still loves Taeyeon?”

Yuri furrowed her eyebrows. “I highly doubt that,” she paused, “but on the slightest chance that she does, then she has to prove it to us.”

Yoona nodded and tore her gaze away from Yuri when she noticed a piece of paper resting on the chair Tiffany sat on.  She picked it up and read it. “Yul, I think this is Tiffany’s.”

“Oh?” Yuri took the paper from Yoona. “I didn’t know she writes songs.”

“She mostly writes lyrics. It’s Taeyeon’s job to come up with the melody. They used to do that a lot when they were together. But Yul, read the title.”

“My Regret? Nice title. Nice lyrics too. Too bad it’s unfinished.”

Yoona rolled her eyes. “Don’t you get it? ‘My Regret’? Tiffany’s regret?”

“What? Don’t tell me you think she wrote this for Taeyeon.”

“It’s plausible.” She paused. “I remember Taeyeon telling me that Tiffany doesn’t write lyrics unless it is based on something she feels or something she experienced. It’s the reason why Tiffany couldn’t write something whenever Taeyeon randomly asks her to.”

“So, you’re telling me that Tiffany wrote this for Taeyeon because she regrets everything?”

“Well, it may not exactly be for Taeyeon but I know it’s about her. It seems like Tiffany really regrets it.”

Yuri took some time to answer before finally sighing. “Fine. Let’s give her a chance then.”