Can you believe I'm still writing hunhan? After I've said I most likely wouldn't? I blame kokobop and how good it is, as well as Baekhyun for exposing Sehun. 

 

Enjoy kiddies <3

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Unknown

It’s my last night here

 

Luhan frowns down at his phone. He’s sitting at a booth at some restaurant, trying to pay attention to his date, but it’s getting harder to pretend that he’s into her.

 

Unknown

Come, please

Xiao Lu?

 

He stiffens and mumbles an apology before walking outside. The cold night air does little to calm his racing heart. That name. Only one person calls him that anymore. One person that he should have forgotten about a long time ago.

 

He lets himself entertain the thought of ignoring the texts. Going back into the restaurant and being charming for the rest of the night. But he knows it’s impossible now. When being with him for one more night is so close he can taste his cologne and feel his heart thrumming under his fingertips.

 

Unknown

Hyung?

 

Luhan

Where can we meet

 

Unknown

Same place as always

 

His leg won’t stop shaking and the back of the cab he’s in vibrates with his body. Luhan’s more nerves and sweaty palms than anything but there’s a pleasant flutter in his stomach and he can feel the ghost of lips pressed against his shoulder and it’s wonderful.

 

The cab drives through familiar streets and Luhan thinks back to the last time he’d been in that hotel.

 

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Sehun’s light laughter fills both the room and Luhan’s heart.

 

“I’m trying to cuddle my boyfriend, why are you being difficult, Hun?” He scrunches his nose at Luhan and pushes him away.

 

“Take a shower first, you stink.” Luhan presses himself into Sehun’s lean form, a fat strip from the juncture of his slender neck to the base of his hairline. He giggles as Sehun jumps out of the bed, cute mock rage on his face.

 

“You’re so gross. I don’t know why I put up with this. Baek hyung wouldn’t treat me like this.” He knows it’s just a joke, but the thought of Sehun belonging to someone else makes something ugly rise from the pit of his stomach. Still, he pushes the thought away and smiles up at Sehun.

 

“Baekhyun is also in a committed relationship and wouldn’t date you.”

 

“Don’t be so sure, I know he has a thing for my .” Luhan can’t keep the growl out of his throat, when he springs to his feet, grabbing Sehun roughly by the arm.

 

“Yah, don’t talk like that in front of me. Have some respect.” There’s nothing but love in Sehun’s eyes and an amused smirk on his face, and Luhan realizes what he’s walked into. He lets his forehead drop onto Sehun’s shoulder his hand falling to hold Sehun’s. “If you wanted me to you rough, all you had to was ask, baby.”

 

“But where’s the fun in that?” Sehun circles his free arm loosely around Luhan’s waist. “Sorry, hyung. I was only teasing. You know you’re the only one for me, right?” Luhan’s weak for Sehun’s sweet words. His soft voice and the lisp he works so hard to hide come through in perfect harmony and it’s heaven to Luhan.

 

Finally, he looks up at Sehun, and kisses him deeply. “I’m going to deal with you and then I’m going to have a long, serious conversation with Baekhyun about staying away from your .” They’re both a heap of red-faced giggles and breathless kisses before they hit the bed.

 

Luhan isn’t sure what to expect when he gets to the hotel. He’s waiting at a back entrance, worrying his lip between his teeth. Is this some kind of hook up? A booty call? Does Sehun even love him like he used to?

 

He spends twenty minutes staring at his phone, and unfinished message waiting to be sent, when a door opens. Light floods the dark alleyway, and it takes a moment for Luhan to register the broad figure in the doorway.

 

Sehun’s filled out even more since they’d last seen each other. His hair is an unnatural shade of orange soda, but somehow he pulls it off. Neither of them say a word, drinking in the sight of the other, but Luhan can’t stand it.

 

“Y-you look like a popsicle.” They stay silent for a beat, before Sehun’s stoic face morphs into the most beautiful sight in the world. His smile is so wonderfully wide and toothy, and his eyes shrink into crescents. He’s breathtaking.

 

“I said that back when you went orange. I didn’t think you’d remember.” The last bit is mumbled, his arms folding across his chest, making him look smaller than a person his size had any right to be. Luhan’s heart is a puddle by his feet. Oh baby, of course I remember.

 

“It was offensive, of course I’d remember. Haven’t gone orange since.” He wants to reach out and touch. He wants to hold this perfect boy in his arms again, but Luhan’s too afraid, so he stuffs his hands into his pockets.

 

“So, it’s your last night here. What are we doing?”

 

“I didn’t really have any plans. Everyone’s gone, and I just wanted to see you.” He motions behind him. “We can go up to the roof.” Luhan grins, and steps close enough to see the scar on his cheek.

 

“Only if you have beer.”

 

The view from the roof and the beer do funny things to Luhan’s stomach. That have absolutely nothing to do with the gorgeous man by his side. Only, it does, and at 27 Luhan shouldn’t be this wrecked over a sort of ex. The conversation has been light, so far. As easy as ever, but under it all, there’s hurt and questions and Luhan isn’t sure if he’s ready for any of this.

 

“So, I heard you’re dating someone.” Luhan wants to laugh or cry or both. How is he supposed to do this? How is he supposed to tell the only person he’s ever loved that, yes, he’s been dating around, trying to move on from something that ended three years ago. That he’s only doing it to keep up appearances, because he’s pathetic enough to spend the rest of his life in love with Sehun.

 

“I guess.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Did you finally get with Baekhyun?” He wants it to come out like a joke, but his smile is too fake and his voice is too high. He’s looking at Luhan with too much...just too much. Everything is too much.

 

“I would never do that to Chan hyung. I don’t think he would either.” Luhan can see Sehun turn away from him and toss his empty beer can with the rest of the growing pile on the ground through his peripherals. He still crushes the can after emptying it. Cute.

 

“Are you happy?” It’s not what he expected and as quickly as the panic came, he deflated, unsure of his answer.

 

“Happy?”

 

“Yeah. Are you happier away from us.” The unspoken from me is deafening. Luhan just wants to pull him close and forget everything else.

 

“I think, that I’ll always miss EXO, and what we’ve shared together. But I-it was so bad, Hun. I would have died if I stayed with the company.” He lets out a stuttered breath, and when Sehun’s hand rests lightly on his arm, he leans into the touch.

 

“I know. It was killing you, and leaving was inevitable. But that’s not what I asked, hyung. I just want to know if you’re happy. If whoever you’re with is keeping you happy.”

 

“There isn’t anyone, Hun.” It’s out of his mouth before he can think of anything else. Sehun’s brow furrows and it’s pure habit that reaches out to smooth the lines. “But, am I happy? I don’t know. The good parts are so good, Hun, I swear. I’m doing exactly what I’ve always wanted to do. But it’s not the same. Without you by my side.”

 

And there it is. Everything Luhan has been lying to himself about. He’s never been truly happy since he’s left Sehun’s side, and now he’s back, the distance between them spans an entire universe. He’s so close, he can feel the heat radiating off his skin, yet they’re still so far away. But , if he isn’t the happiest he’s been in the last three years.

 

“But you said -”

 

“I know what I said. I just -god- I don’t know, call it self preservation. I never wanted you to know that I’ve been pining over you for the last three years. That blocking your number was the hardest thing I’d ever done. There’s so much I’m feeling, Hun, but I can’t be there for you like I used to be. It’s not fair to you.”

 

Sehun swallows and Luhan follows the movement intently, every part of him so beautiful to Luhan. He wishes he could have more of this. He wants to drink him in, wants him to never leave.

 

They sit in silence until Sehun moves suddenly, standing in front of Luhan, tall and proud and every bit as god-like as he seems on stage.

 

“I think, you’re making decisions for me. And I don’t like it. I’m not the same boy you left behind, hyung. I know what I want. And I’ve always wanted you. However we can have each other. The physical stuff? It doesn’t matter to me. I just want to know that we’re both on the same page. And that you know how much I love you.” Tears well in Luhan’s eyes and for the first time in three years, he lets himself love Sehun.

 

He pulls Sehun flush against his chest, lips reverently chasing after his. “I love you too, Hun. So much. Always.” Sehun’s strong hands roam Luhan’s back, before settling above the swell of his .

 

“Then why the have we wasted so much time?” Luhan nips at Sehun’s chin, heart so full of love and beating a steady rhythm of Sehun, Sehun, Sehun. They laugh and the sound is so pure and right, it makes Luhan want to cry.

 

“I didn’t think this night would go like this.” Sehun snorts.

 

“I expected it to be a little awkward, but , I didn’t know it was going to be that awkward.”

 

“But it’s good now?” Sehun looks so much older, Luhan has a hard time connecting the sage smile on his face to the twelve year old he met as a trainee.

 

“It’s perfect now.” Sehun ducks his head into the crook of Luhan’s neck and they just stand there, breathing each other on, swaying slightly. It really is perfect. Until the sound of girls screaming somewhere below them floats up to reach their ears.

 

“That’s you, I guess.” Sehun pulls away slowly, reluctantly.

 

“You won’t disappear on me, right? We’re doing this?” Sehun is the sweetest man on the entire planet and Luhan reaches out to hold his cheek, because he can now.

 

“I’m never letting you go again. You’re mine, remember?” He closes his eyes and presses a kiss to Luhan’s palm.

 

“I love you so much, Xiao Lu.”

 

He turns to make his way back to his room, and Luhan watches him walk away, with a small smile on his face. He stands there, facing the closing door until he can’t see any light, before turning back out to the view of the city.

 

His phone had been going off for the last few hours, so he pulls it out, ready to face whatever mess he made.

 

The first message he sees makes him want to squeal and do all kinds of un-Luhan-like things.

 

Sehun

Just so you know, you’re an for blocking me for three years

Even though I know you had to do it

Love you hyung <3

We’re skyping as soon as I get home

Luhan

Let me know when you land

And wear something pretty for me

I love you

 

And Luhan is so happy.