She stepped in the park gingerly. It was a new neighbourhood her family had relocated few weeks back. She had eyed the empty benches in the park from her bedroom window, and often wondered how it would be like to sit on one of them and think over nothing. She could do that very well within the confines of the 4 walls of her bedroom, as often she did, but somehow the thought of doing the same in the open, surrounded by greenery and clean air appealed to her more.

The park was spread over a huge area, and very popular with the people in the neighbourhood. But a small patch of green grass, somewhat hidden by the dense foliage of green bushes and tall trees, was seldom frequented by the regular park-goers. It was close to one of the back-gates, which led to her new home. And that was how she spotted it and felt the pull to explore.

It was early in the evening, and the sky was still bright enough. She stood in front of the two benches and observed them for a while. Then deciding on one of them she took her seat and mentally congratulated herself.

Finally, you made it!

She had a book with her; just in case someone else arrived, she would have the alibi to pretend that she was doing something, at least, and was not just being there for nothing. She opened the book and noticed the bookmark that she must have placed the last time she tried reading.

What was it about? Was it a thriller or a romantic drama? Is it even worth trying to start reading from the beginning again?

“Ga Eul?”

She was startled by the familiar voice and looked up.

“Ji Hoo Sunbae?”

She wondered when was the last time she saw this man, standing in front of her now.

A year? Two years perhaps?

He was still the same, only his golden hair seemed to be dyed to dark brown. His visage still had the same calmness, as he looked at her slight quizzical expression.

“It’s been long since I last saw you. How have you been?” asked Ji Hoo.

“Fine,” replied Ga Eul with a slight smile and looked down at the book on her lap.

Ji Hoo acknowledged her reply with a slight nod of his own and looked at the other empty bench.

Ga Eul looked up again to see him glancing at the other bench, and realization hit her at once. It was no news to her that for Ji Hoo, nothing was more precious than his own space. She immediately pictured herself as an intruder in what seemed to be one of Ji Hoo’s secret hideouts from the world.

“I…I think I should head back now. Have a nice evening here at the park, Sunbae,” spoke Ga Eul as she stood up and bowed to take her leave.

Ji Hoo was a bit taken aback by her sudden move to leave. When he had first spotted her sitting on the bench, it did seem that she was quite at peace there.

“You don’t have to leave for me. There is enough space here for us both to dwell in our own worlds,” he said calmly.

There was a certain vibe in his tone, that Ga Eul could not discern. But somehow, she understood that there was a mutual respect between them, for each other’s need for space and solitude. And although sharing the same space for the moment, they would not step into each other’s thoughts.

She stepped back to the bench and claimed back her seat. From the corner of her eyes she saw Ji Hoo sitting the other bench, and like her, opening a book on his lap. She smiled inwardly.

Is he wondering as well, what the book was about?

She did not realize when her thoughts had moved from nothingness to a particular person sitting close by. All the time she had spent in the proximity of the F4, Ji Hoo was perhaps the person with whom she had exchanged the fewest of words. But she was kept abreast about him, by Jan Di of course, as he was her ‘soulmate’. And being a keen observer of human behaviour, Ga Eul had often found herself looking right through his veil of nonchalance that he adopted in the presence of his friends. It was no surprise for her when her friend had told her about his proposal, which had to be refused, because of Jan Di’s undying love for Jun Pyo. Ga Eul often brooded over her friend’s predicament in choosing between the two best friends; however dissimilar in their nature and approach, but both were equally prepared to sacrifice everything in the name of their love for Jan Di. Then, about 3 years back, Jun Pyo left for the US, after promising Jan Di that he would come back for her. And he did keep his promise, by coming to Jan Di more than a year back and proposing to her, thereby strengthening the bond that had gone through numerous upheavals over the past years. Ga Eul was ecstatic to know about her best friend’s ‘happily ever after’ story at last. But she would not deny the fact that, even if for a very brief moment, she did think about Ji Hoo and how he would accept this news. She could not verify her speculation, as she had already distanced herself from the F4 by that time.

And with that, her thoughts were back to the nothingness again.

It would be a blatant lie if anyone said that Ji Hoo was not at all perturbed by the presence of someone else at his favourite corner of the park. He cherished this small patch of green grass that had become like his second home. Although it was not difficult for him to embrace seclusion, either in his home or among the throng of people at the hospital, his workplace. Yet, he came back often to this seemingly unknown spot in the big city of Seoul, and for those few moments he would give free rein to his thoughts, wandering through various scenarios of what ifs. This did help him immensely in schooling his expressions while dealing with his grandfather at home, or Jan Di at his workplace. Because all he wanted was to make everyone believe that he was fine.

Thus, spotting someone else today did baffle him a little initially, but not for long. Because for the first time, seeing Ga Eul in this place, made him think of things other than his life. It was true that he never cared to know this girl closer, other than acknowledging her as Jan Di’s close friend. Despite being engrossed in his own adoration for Jan Di, and fighting fires in her not-so-comfortable life, he did manage to notice the development of a bond between this girl and his friend Yi Jung. Although none of them spoke openly about it, he could see it in her eyes whenever they were all together. It became more apparent when Yi Jung went to Sweden for honing his skills in pottery and establishing himself among the global contemporary artists. It was around the same time Jun Pyo had left for the US. Apparently, Yi Jung had expressed his wish to see Ga Eul as the first person when he would return from Sweden after 4 years. Although not very precise, the girl seemed to have taken those words as a promise for her future with him. Seemingly, Yi Jung had tried keeping in touch initially, but with time, his interest ebbed away. Ji Hoo understood this more when Ga Eul, who had hardly spoken to him in the past, started asking him more than few times, whether he or Woo Bin had heard from their friend in Sweden. It was not usual for Yi Jung to call Ji Hoo frequently, but he knew that Woo Bin did hear from him quite often. Once, when Ji Hoo was having his weekly ‘meet and drink’ evening with Woo Bin, he brought up the question Ga Eul had been asking him lately. For once Woo Bin was silent, a very unusual response from a man who was always exuberant. Then he spoke about Yi Jung’s latest interest in a Swedish girl, whom he had met at an artists’ workshop. It should not have come as a surprise to Ji Hoo, as his friend was not acclaimed as the Casanova of F4 for no reason. Yet, he could not justify his friend’s treatment towards the girl, who was innocent enough to trust him. Surprisingly, the only couple of instances he met Ga Eul after that, she seemed very withdrawn, and not enquiring about his friend anymore. Taking that as a clue, he understood that Ga Eul must have learnt the truth. Being a person of few words, and even fewer for people other than Jan Di, he did not try to learn more on this. Moreover, soon his life itself came to a standstill when Jun Pyo came back to propose Jan Di, and the latter accepted his proposal and love for the rest of her life.

And with that, his mind came back to the numerous questions, starting with what if.

Ga Eul’s eyes were still stuck on the same page, flitting through the same lines for the past hour. Yet there was something different. She looked up at the dusking sky.

Oh yes, it is getting dark. I can no longer force myself to stare at the book.

She looked to her side and saw Ji Hoo sitting with his eyes closed and his head slightly bent forward. She stood up cautiously, without making any noise, so as not to disturb his nap. Then she turned to take the path out of the park.

“Take care Ga Eul,” murmured Ji Hoo.

She froze in her step, and turned back to see Ji Hoo looking at her through half closed lids.

“You too, Sunbae. Have a good evening,” said Ga Eul and bowed before walking away.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

It had been almost a month since the chance meeting. Ga Eul was working as a part-time teacher at a primary school for gaining experience while working on her dissertation, and most of the days she would come to the park after her school. Although not as often as her, Ji Hoo would visit the park too, after the exhausting hours of his duty at the hospital. It was like a routine now; they would smile and greet as soon as they saw each other. Then, they would sit on their separate benches, and spend the next hour or so in silence. Once Ga Eul left, Ji Hoo would head to his grandfather’s clinic and get immersed in his medical practice.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Ga Eul entered the park with two cups of coffee. She had called Jan Di at the lunch time, to ask how she was doing. Jan Di sounded exhausted. She said due to the recent viral outbreak, there were multiple numbers of patients arriving than normal, and the stuff at the hospital were overworked to their limits. She told how Ji Hoo Sunbae had been staying at the hospital, without sleeping for almost 3 consecutive nights. Finally, it seemed things were getting in control and hopefully, that day he would be going back home.

So far, Ga Eul had not mentioned to Jan Di that she had met Ji Hoo at the park. She did not think that she had the right to divulge his secret to anyone yet.

I am an intruder myself!

Although there was very bleak chance of him coming to the park after his grueling stint at the hospital today, yet she found herself buying two cups of hot coffee from the store on the way to the park. As she entered the park, she saw the benches to be empty. She took her usual seat, started sipping from her cup and placed the other beside her. The autumn afternoons were getting a bit chillier, so the hot coffee felt very comforting.

After another 10 minutes, when there was no sign of Ji Hoo, Ga Eul started doubting her own thoughts.

How stupid of me to think that Sunbae would want to come to the park today!

She disposed her own cup at the nearby bin, and picked up her bag and the other cup from the bench, when a familiar figure appeared close to the gate. Ga Eul’s face momentarily brightened up.

“Leaving already?” asked Ji Hoo as approached her with his easy gait.

She shook her head, and suddenly feeling the coffee cup still in her hand, she held it out to him.

“It must have turned cold by now,” she murmured as he took it from her.

“It’s okay, and thanks, Ga Eul. I needed this badly,” smiled Ji Hoo and took a sip from the cup.

That day, for the first time, they sat on the same bench, with a conspicuous gap in between.

After another 15 minutes, Ga Eul’s phone buzzed with a notification. It was her colleague from the school, who had sent a link to a Youtube video showing some hilarious clips from the school sports. Ga Eul hesitated before opening the link, then muted her phone so that Ji Hoo would not be bothered. As the video started playing, Ga Eul could not help but burst out laughing at the playfulness of the kids in her class. Ji Hoo looked at her immediately with a bemused expression.

“I am sorry, Sunbae,” spoke Ga Eul, covering .

“What is it you are watching?”

“It is just a video from the school sports yesterday. The kids from my class did some funny stuff…”

“May I see it too?” he asked with a genuine eagerness.

Ga Eul stared at him motionless at first, not expecting him to be interested in something so trivial. Then she replayed the video, with volume this time, and soon both were laughing at the hilarity of the video.

As it became darker, Ga Eul looked at her watch and then picked up her bag.

“Thanks again, for the coffee and the good laugh,” spoke Ji Hoo with a pleasant smile.

“No worries, Sunbae. Take care,” replied Ga Eul and left for her home.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….......

Ga Eul paced in her room nervously. And subconsciously her eyes kept on turning to the window, through which she could see the park. There was no one, but may be soon someone would arrive, supposedly dejected and lost.

She was leaving her university after her morning classes, when her phone started ringing.

“Hello Jan Di? How are you?”

“Where are you Ga Eul? Can we meet? At the porridge shop?” asked Jan Di breathlessly.

“Now?”

“Right now!”

Ga Eul hurried to the porridge shop. It had been quite long since she had left her job there. But it was always nice to go back with Jan Di, from time to time, and have a good chat over a warm bowl of porridge.

As soon as she stepped in the shop, Jan Di jumped on her and hugged her tightly.

“What is it Jan Di?” asked Ga Eul, overwhelmed with her friend’s act.

“I am getting married next month!” exclaimed Jan Di.

“What? Wow! I am so happy Jan Di! But so soon?” blurted out Ga Eul in excitement.

“Yes. Jun Pyo is coming back in a week, and he does not want to wait anymore for the wedding. Oh my god! It is just a month left! How will everything happen? Ommo, ommo, ottokkae!” exclaimed Jan Di as she stumbled on a nearby chair.

It took some more moments for Ga Eul and Master to digest the news, but soon they were squealing in joy and talking about wedding plans.

It was not before Ga Eul reached home, that realisation occurred to her.

What about Ji Hoo? How does he feel about this?

As her pace continued, she spotted him, entering the park. From the distance, he looked the same as the last two months. But Ga Eul knew what must be going in his mind. She did not have the courage to face him today at the park.

I will remind him of Jan Di, and then he will be more in pain. I wish I could help him at this moment, but I think it is best to give him space and time to go through this difficult day.

She sat on the base of the window pane and looked back at the park with a blank stare. She saw Ji Hoo sitting on the bench with his head held low. Then after some time he held his head and bent to the front. Ga Eul’s fingers unknowingly started caressing the glass on the window, as if it would alleviate his suffering.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

A week passed after the day Jan Di had announced her wedding date. Ga Eul had been busy with her dissertation which was near its deadline. She did not have time to lift her head from work, finetuning her report and reviewing for any mistakes. Today she had submitted her dissertation report to the university, and finally felt a surge of relief. For the first time in her life she was confident about her effort. Indeed, her guide was satisfied with her performance and asked her to expect a good result.

She was happy, relieved, and restless. She could not wait to be a part of the ‘pandemonium’ aka Jan Di and Jun Pyo’s wedding preparation. For the past week, she had not been able to keep track of what was happening. Lost in her thoughts, she entered the park and took her seat. She just needed to take few long breaths and some moments of peace, before jumping into the whirlwind of fun with her friend.

She did not notice when a pair of boots came closer, crushing the bright red fallen leaves on the grass.

“Where were you last week?”

Ga Eul was startled out of her thoughts by Ji Hoo’s voice. She looked at his face, which had an expression of discontent. His eyes seemed to pierce through her.

“Sunbae, I was…”

“I do not need your pity, if that is what you feel for me,” he spoke in anger.

Ga Eul stared at him dumbfounded.

“I thought you needed to be alone, so…”

“Then you should not have been here at all from the very beginning. I would rather stay alone than being pitied by you,” blurted Ji Hoo before storming out of the park.

The moment he left, Ga Eul felt warm tears rolling down her face. She did not pity him, it was her genuine concern for a friend, if she could call him that. His accusatory words upset her so much, that it brought back myriads of the painful memories of her past, and she broke into inconsolable sobs. It made no sense, there was no connection with him and her past. It was just a trigger that opened the gate to all ache that she had been hiding for so long.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

It was just a week left before Jan Di’s wedding. Upon Madam Kang’s insistence, she was supposed to go for her wedding dress trial at the most celebrated boutique of Seoul, where her dress had been flown from a top-notch designer in France. Ga Eul had agreed to accompany her, and try her bride’s maid dress as well. After the long and tiring trial session, they were getting ready to leave when the trial room was barged in by Woo Bin, followed by Ji Hoo and Yi Jung.

“Hola, our beautiful bride-to-be! Aren’t you supposed to get the groom’s men approval for your dress as well?” exclaimed Woo Bin jovially.

Ga Eul was stunned to see Yi Jung, standing at the back and laughing at Woo Bin’s antics.

He was not supposed to be back so soon.

It is Jun Pyo and Jan Di’s wedding. Of course, he would come!

Her face turning red, she tried to hide behind Jan Di and make herself as inconspicuous as possible.

“Yi Jung Sunbae! When did you arrive?” asked Jan Di happily.

“Just now, coming straight from the airport. Congratulations on your wedding, our Wondergirl!” replied Yi Jung and gave her a gentle hug.

A tall, blonde girl peeked in the room from outside, and Yi Jung pulled her in.

“Jan Di, meet my friend Klara from Sweden. Klara, this is Jan Di,” introduced Yi Jung.

“Friend or girlfriend?” asked Woo Bin with a smirk, gaining an immediate nudge from Yi Jung.

Klara smiled and congratulated Jan Di for her wedding.

All this while, Ga Eul had managed to stay away from their attention by practically pushing herself into the rack of clothes. The only time she lifted her head, she felt Ji Hoo’s gaze on her. Immediately, she looked away and waited for a chance to leave without anyone noticing.

“Hey Ga Eul, what are you doing hiding there?” asked Woo Bin as he stepped towards her.

Her face was flushed in embarrassment. She slowly stepped out and stood in front of everyone.

“Hi Yi Jung Sunbae,” murmured Ga Eul.

He stared at her with mild surprise.

“Hey Ga Eul. How have you been? Haven’t heard from you for a long time,” replied Yi Jung with slight unease.

She could not believe him, and stood there with a blank face for few moments.

“I was busy,” murmured Ga Eul.

She could still feel the piercing gaze on her back, as they left together for lunch.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….......

The wedding was in a small island in Fiji. Although it was the most talked about wedding of the year, Jun Pyo managed to convince his mother for a very private celebration, with only closest family and friends. Even the venue was chosen to be on the beach, instead of a big convention hall or a grand church. His friends offered to help with all the arrangements ahead of the wedding, and accordingly F3, Jae Kyung, Klara and Ga Eul flew to the island two days before.

On reaching the island, everyone set out on doing his or her job. It was crazy, but good fun for all of them. The first day passed by even before anyone realised.

“Oh god! There is still so much to do!” exclaimed Woo Bin as they all gathered for the dinner.

“You have been a lazy bum all day! We could have finished lot more if you had not fooled around all the time!” complained Jae Kyung.

“Hey you monkey! I have not been fooling around,” exclaimed Woo Bin.

Their banter continued through the dinner, entertaining the rest at the table. Ga Eul was having her food quietly when she heard Yi Jung chuckling at something whispered in his ears by Klara. She stared at their happy faces. And for a moment she tried imagining herself in her place.

Once the dinner was over, everyone decided to retire to respective room, as there was still lot of unfinished job for the next day. Yi Jung was about to leave with Klara, when he heard his name being called.

“Sunbae, do you have a minute?” asked Ga Eul nervously.

Yi Jung hesitated a little.

“Yes, why not. Klara, go to the room. I will be there in a minute.”

Ga Eul and Yi Jung walked to the poolside, which was entirely desolate at that hour.

“Yes, Ga Eul, what is it?”

“I had something in my mind, which I wanted to ask you,” replied Ga Eul apprehensively.

“Shoot.”

“Do you remember the last time we met before you left for Sweden?”

Yi Jung nodded his head, waiting for her to continue.

“You said that…that you would want to see me as the first person when you return. So, what happened?”

Ga Eul could feel her heart thumping in nervousness. But she was equally amazed at herself for being able to speak out her heart, without running away in the middle.

Yi Jung’s scrutinizing gaze on her face stayed for few more silent moments.

“Time happened, Ga Eul. And I had hoped you would move on as well. In fact, I was half expecting to see you married off by the time I came back. But I see that for you time is still stalled at that day, 3 years back. Did you really expect me to wait as a celibate all these years for you?” questioned Yi Jung.

Ga Eul’s lips started trembling, as she struggled to form a reply.

“I had never promised to be your ‘soulmate’, and thought you were smart enough to realise that yourself. Anyway, I would not want to hurt you any more, if I have already hurt you. Move on with your life and be happy,” said Yi Jung before leaving her alone, and miserable, by the poolside.

As he took a turn to go towards his room, he almost bumped into Ji Hoo.

“Oh, sorry Ji Hoo. I was going back to my room. Klara is waiting for me. Goodnight. See you tomorrow,” spoke Yi Jung and left even before his friend responded.

Ji Hoo looked at his retreating form, and then turned to see which direction he was coming from. Then sensing something wrong, he hurried towards the pool.

Ga Eul was still standing at the same spot where Yi Jung had left her. Her mind was too muddled to think anything rational.

Time happened. Move on.

In the last two years that was exactly what she had been trying to explain herself, but in vain. She knew Yi Jung had moved on.

Then why did I want to hear it again from him? And add on more humiliation for myself in my own eyes?

She closed her eyes, and tried to reset her mind. But her mind had a mind of its own. Suddenly her whole body started shivering, and her legs seemed to have lost the strength to hold her up. As she tried to grab something for support, two strong hands grasped her arms and steadied her.

“Ga Eul? Are you ok?” asked Ji Hoo anxiously.

“Yi Jung Sunbae was right, he was always right. Time happened, but I stayed stuck,” mumbled Ga Eul, as Ji Hoo helped her to sit on a pool chair.

Ji Hoo gritted his teeth as he realised what must have caused this to Ga Eul.

“Why do you let him hurt you every time?” seethed Ji Hoo in anger.

“No one hurt me. I hurt myself by believing in fantasies and fairytales,” she replied as streams of tears flowed down her cheeks.

Ji Hoo pulled her in a hug and tucked her head in the crook of his neck. Ga Eul did not protest, as she was too weak to react. She formed a tight fist, crumpling his shirt in the process, to hold on to something tightly, as she felt her life falling apart.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

All night Ga Eul could not sleep. She turned from side to side, struggling to calm her mind. But every time she tried closing her eyes, Yi Jung’s words kept ringing in her mind. And all the moments she had been with him, misinterpreting his every word or action as something which never existed.

Next morning, she joined the others at the breakfast table. She looked and felt exhausted. She took her food and sat at a corner of the table, far from Yi Jung and Klara. She played with her food for some time, and as the others finished their breakfast, she stood up and followed them out to the wedding area.

“Jae Kyung and I will oversee the dining and catering today. Yi Jung, Klara and Ga Eul finish your job with the wedding area decoration and Ji Hoo…” spoke Woo Bin when Ji Hoo interrupted him.

“I will need another hand in the reception area and the guest rooms arrangement. Ga Eul, you come with me.”

“But Yi Jung and Klara will need more help,” complained Woo Bin.

“I am sure they can manage. If not, the hotel stuff can help them. Come, Ga Eul, we have lots to do,” replied Ji Hoo calmly and pulled her away with him.

Once away from their friends, Ji Hoo stopped and looked at Ga Eul.

“Let’s go for some fresh air,” he said and pulled her to a car waiting outside the reception.

“But Sunbae, what about our job here?” asked Ga Eul in confusion.

“It can wait.”

Ji Hoo drove them to the other end of the island that was entirely uninhabited. There was a small hill, ending in a steep cliff, facing the clear blue ocean. As they stepped out of the car, he strolled along a barely visible, narrow winding path, heading towards the top. Ga Eul followed him a few steps behind. Time to time, he paused and looked back to check on her. In another 20 minutes, they reached the top. The view was breathtaking. Ga Eul absorbed the beauty and serenity of nature around her, and walked closer to the cliff.

“I found this place yesterday. Isn’t it beautiful?” asked Ji Hoo.

“It is unbelievably beautiful,” replied Ga Eul without removing her eyes from the open ocean.

They stood there in silence for few more minutes. Then Ji Hoo came and stood close to Ga Eul.

“I know it is easier said than done, but don’t you think you deserve more for yourself than this self-inflicted punishment?” asked Ji Hoo pointing to her weary face.

“Does the preacher practice what he preaches?” replied Ga Eul slowly after a few moments.

Ji Hoo smiled faintly and looked ahead at the ocean.

“I know how painful it can be. I would not want to see anyone else go through the same.”

“Are you happy with this wedding?” she asked him after few moments.

“When I see the unbound joy in Jan Di’s eyes and smile, I find my happiness,” replied Ji Hoo.

“And what about the pain that continuously gnaws at the heart? Will seeing Yi Jung being happy with Klara make me forget that pain too?” questioned Ga Eul with tears forming in her eyes.

He did not want to see her in tears again. He had seen enough of them being shed the night before.

“You know what, let’s get rid of that pain right here, right now,” said Ji Hoo and pulled her closer to the edge of the cliff.

“Sunbae!” exclaimed Ga Eul in confusion.

“Don’t worry, I am not going to ask you to jump off the cliff,” he said and laughed out.

She grasped his hand tightly as she looked down at the depth below.

“Say whatever comes to your mind, at the top of your voice.”

“Eh?” she asked in confusion again.

Ji Hoo cupped his hands in front of his mouth.

“Jan Di, I love you. I will never be able to get over you!” he screamed out and looked at her.

Ga Eul understood what he wanted her to do. She cupped her hands in front of similarly.

“Yi Jung Sunbae, sorry for being so naïve but I did wait for you all this years,” she cried out loudly.

Their voices were spread out in the vast open space, and it dispersed the accumulated pain to the nature without any glitch. They screamed out all the words they had been thinking in their minds, but never had the courage to speak out. Finally, exhausted from their screaming, but feeling way more relieved they stopped. Ji Hoo looked around at Ga Eul. Her face was red and wet with tears. Even his tears were at the verge of spilling over. He pulled her in a hug, and let the tears flow.

“Thanks Ga Eul, for giving me the courage to face my fears. I would never have done it on my own. You are special, a very special human being,” spoke Ji Hoo in a muffled tone.

“Thanks to you, Ji Hoo Sunbae. Thanks for all your help,” murmured Ga Eul.

They walked down the hill in silence, and returned to the hotel. There were so many arrangements left to be taken care of, that soon they got engrossed in their work, and did not have time to mull over what happened at the hill.

That evening Jun Pyo, Jan Di and the rest of the family and friends arrived, and the whole ambience filled with mirth and laughter.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

The wedding went as planned. Everyone looked and felt wonderful. The highlight was Jan Di and Jun Pyo’s wedding vows which brought tears to everyone’s eyes, even Madam Kang. The party after the wedding was a big success, with the F3 giving their speech for the newly-weds, full of anecdotes that made Jun Pyo protest vehemently. Even Jae Kyung joined them, in sharing her funny experiences with the couple. Ga Eul just stood up and wished her friend and Jun Pyo all the happiness in life.

This was followed by dance and everyone was ushered on the makeshift dancefloor on the beach. After the newly-weds’ special couple dance, rest of the guests joined them. Ga Eul stood at a corner when Ji Hoo approached her and took her to the dancefloor.

“Sunbae, I cannot dance,” she spoke tensely.

“If I leave an amazingly beautiful girl like you standing at a corner like this, while everyone else is dancing, it will be a very bad reflection on my gentlemanly image,” spoke Ji Hoo, flashing a smile.

Ga Eul smiled and joined him in the dance. He led her in swift but easy moves, and soon she was laughing and enjoying every bit of it. Ji Hoo was all in white, as usual, and Ga Eul was in a pale gold sequined gown. They did make an attractive couple, and made their friends turn their heads more than once. Ga Eul caught Yi Jung staring at them, and somehow, she felt content.

I did take your advice, Yi Jung. I will move on.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

It was over two months after the wedding. Life was back to normal in Seoul. Ga Eul had graduated from the university with distinction, and her dissertation work was particularly praised by her supervisor. She was very happy and shared her news with Jan Di. She knew her friend would share this news with Ji Hoo, and she waited to meet him again at the park.

It was a cold winter afternoon. The sky was dark with cloud. Ga Eul rubbed her gloved hands, and kept on looking back at the gate. Soon, a tall figure, clad in a long white coat entered the park, with a big bouquet of brightly colored flowers.

“Congratulations, Ga Eul. I am so proud of you,” said Ji Hoo as he hugged her and handed her the flowers.

“Thanks Ji Hoo Sunbae. It would not have been possible without you,” she replied with a shy smile.

“Not me. Thank this park, that brought about the calmness in our messed-up lives,” he said smilingly.

“True.”

They sat down and started talking about her results and dissertation. She enquired about his practice at the hospital and clinic.

“So, what next? Are you looking for jobs now?” asked Ji Hoo.

“Uhm, no. I got an offer for research,” replied Ga Eul softly.

“Wow! That is great! I am sure with your diligence and hard work, you will do very well in research,” he replied enthusiastically.

“But it is not here in Seoul. My supervisor’s close friend is a professor in University of Kent. He is running various research projects, and when my supervisor sent him my dissertation report, he was supposedly very impressed. So, he wanted me to apply there for Masters and research programme. I have not told this to anyone yet,” murmured Ga Eul.

Ji Hoo looked at her intently, waiting for her to continue.

“Do you think I can do it? I am not good in English, I will have to take intensive English courses before commencing the programme. I am confused, I don’t know whether I am capable enough for this offer. I wanted to talk to you and get your opinion, Sunbae,” she spoke in a single breath.

Ji Hoo held her hands on her lap and gave her an assuring smile.

“Of course, you can do it. There is nothing impossible for you. As for English, I can help you in the due time, before you leave. But what about the expenses? Will they all be covered?” he asked.

“Tuition would be covered with the scholarship, if I can manage to get one. And I may need to get some part-time jobs for the living expenses,” replied Ga Eul thoughtfully.

“Jun Pyo’s father has a student scholarship trust for meritorious students like you. I am sure you will be able to get it if you apply. Go for it, Ga Eul. Such chances do not come easily in life,” he said and squeezed her hands.

“Thank you, Ji Hoo Sunbae. This is why I wanted to talk to you first, before anyone else.”

They continued talking more about the offer and the various possibilities with it. Unknown to them, the year’s first snow started falling on them.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Ga Eul’s date for leaving drew near. She got the Shinwa scholarship, and her parents and friends were ecstatic with her accomplishment. She was boggled with all the preparations in leaving for a distant foreign country, away from her home and friends. She felt excited for the new beginning, as well as anxious for all the things unknown.

The day before her departure, she walked to the park and sat down, waiting for Ji Hoo. She had a small gift for him, for all his help, for being there, for being himself. She recalled all the silent yet meaningful moments they had spent together at the park. The moment they cried out their heart before Jan Di’s wedding. The moment they danced together happily, as if nothing in the world mattered to them.

“A penny for your thoughts,” said Ji Hoo, flicking his fingers in front of her eyes.

“Sunbae!”

Her face brightened up on seeing him.

“All set to fly tomorrow?”

“Hmm. But I am very nervous.”

“Nervous is not bad. I am sure once you land, you will be so overwhelmed by the newness of everything around, that you will forget everything else.”

Ga Eul smiled back at him and held out a small gift-wrapped box.

“What is this?” asked Ji Hoo while removing the wrapper.

“A small remembrance for all the happy moments we had together. I hope every time you feel low, this will remind you about this park, the small hill at Fiji and all the words we said to make us lift our heads and stand again,” spoke Ga Eul with a slight wavering voice.

Ji Hoo looked at the bracelet in the box. It was a very simple silver bracelet, with tiny letters saying, ‘Happy reminder’ carved on it. Ga Eul hesitated for a moment, before picking it up and tying it around his wrist. He kept on gazing at it and a smile spread in his face.

“Do you like it, Sunbae?”

Ji Hoo did not say anything. He turned to her, held her face and kissed her on her lips. At first, she was startled by his kiss. But soon she kissed him back. Her inexperience in the matter did not stop her from pouring her feelings into the kiss, which was supposedly her first. It was a gentle one, but deep enough to make a life time impression. As they broke the kiss, Ji Hoo pulled her closer in an embrace and kissed her forehead. Ga Eul’s eyes filled with tears, as she held him back tightly.

“A new life is awaiting you, Ga Eul. Live it to the fullest. Do not turn back. You have the strength in you to overcome all the hurdles of life. And if a day comes when you face a hurdle which you cannot cross, you will find me there to push you up,” he spoke as his voice choked up with emotion.

“Promise me Sunbae, you will also move on with your life with equal vigour and hope. Do not deny yourself the joys of life. Promise me,” spoke Ga Eul in between her sobs.

Ji Hoo nodded his head in agreement and kissed her again.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

10 years later…

Ji Hoo walked through the bustling streets of Edinburgh. It was the Edinburgh Festival time in August, with numerous colourful street performances, and throngs of people from all around the world visiting the city. He was there for a medical conference for the past 3 days. After the conference was over, he decided to go around the city. He had been there before, but never during the festival. Indeed, the vibe of the city was transformed hugely, and even the grumpiest person would be feeling merry at such a sight.

He was walking down the Royal Mile when a booth of Cancer Research Foundation caught his attention. He walked to it and took out his wallet to donate to the research fund. Suddenly he felt a tug. He turned around to see a small girl, of about 4 years old, tugging at his jacket. She had a small red donation box in her hand. And the most striking thing about the girl were her eyes. He bent down to her smiling.

“Hey there.”

“Please donate generously, sir. This will go for my mother’s treatment,” spoke the little girl.

Ji Hoo looked in his wallet and found around 80 pounds in cash. He put all the money in the girl’s box.

“I will donate more and pray for your mother,” he said, as he felt sorry for both the little girl and her mother.

By the time, an elderly lady from the booth approached him.

“Thank you, sir, for your generosity. This will be of immense help,” she said.

Ji Hoo noticed that the little girl waved at him and approached another man standing at the booth.

“I would like to donate more online. Could you please give me the details? And if you do not mind, can I ask you something?” he asked.

“Yes, sure.”

“Why is this little girl here? I mean, isn’t it too harsh on her to be approaching strangers for donations?”

“Oh, it is because her mother is at the hospital today, getting her radiations. I am her neighbor, who looks after the child when her mother goes to the hospital. Today I had to come here, so I brought her with me. I know, it is not fair on her. But I could not leave her home alone, I am afraid,” replied the old lady meekly.

“Oh, I see,” said Ji Hoo and looked back at the girl again.

He felt a pang in his heart. He was of the same age when he lost his parents in a car accident. Judging from the old lady’s words, it seemed the little girl had only her mother with her, who might very well be in her advanced stages of cancer. Suddenly, he felt an urge to do something to make a change for the little girl.

“Could I please meet her mother? I am a doctor, I would like to know what kind of treatment she is undergoing and if there is anything I can help her with,” spoke Ji Hoo.

“Oh, that would be so kind of you, sir. I guess she would be released from the hospital in an hour.”

Ji Hoo walked around the streets for another hour and came back to see the lady waiting with the little girl.

“Hello!” greeted the little girl in excitement.

He smiled at her and ruffled her hair. Then they took a taxi to the hospital where the little girl’s mother was admitted. On the way, they discussed about her mother’s condition.

“She must be at the recovery room. Let’s go and meet her there,” said the lady.

As they reached the recovery room, the little girl rushed inside.

“Mommy!”

“Eileen, my baby!”

Ji Hoo froze at the doorstep, seeing the pale figure lying on the bed. He could not believe his eyes. Eileen hugged her mother and started telling about her day at the booth.

“Geyool, this gentleman wanted to meet you. He is a doctor,” spoke the old lady and ushered Ji Hoo to enter the room.

Ga Eul lifted her gaze from her daughter’s face and gasped seeing the man in front.

“Ji Hoo Sunbae!”

He could not bear the scene in front of him. Last, he had seen her was 10 years back. Then both had willingly refrained from contacting each other, fearing that would hinder their life from moving ahead. Several times he had imagined having a chance meeting with her, but never like this. He frowned at her with dejection and annoyance, then turned around to storm out of the room.

“Oh dear! What happened to him? Do you know him, Geyool?” asked the old lady in confusion.

“Yes, I do. An old friend I did not keep in touch with for a long time,” murmured Ga Eul.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Ji Hoo could not control his emotions, as he held his head bent over his knees.

“Why Ga Eul, why? Why could you not let me know before reaching this state?” he babbled as a lone tear ran down his cheek.

A small hand patted on his head and made him look up.

“Did Mommy scare you?”

Ji Hoo quickly wiped away his tear and stood up.

“Sorry Eileen, I was a bit surprised. Let’s go and meet her again.”

Then holding her tiny hand in his big one, they headed to the recovery room.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

They came to Ga Eul’s place, and Martha, the old lady left them as she had to go back to the booth.

Ga Eul seemed a bit uncomfortable to sit straight in the couch, so Ji Hoo picked up her frail body and headed to the bedroom.

“Sunbae, what are you doing?” exclaimed Ga Eul.

“Don’t say a word. I will do exactly what I should be doing,” replied Ji Hoo heatedly.

He placed her gently on the bed and covered her. Eileen came inside and looked at them in confusion.

“She must be hungry. I have to cook for her,” spoke Ga Eul and tried to sit up.

“I will make her food. You stay here and take rest. You have a lot to answer me,” he spoke between gritted teeth.

After making dinner for everyone, feeding Eileen and putting her to bed, Ji Hoo came to Ga Eul with a tray of food.

He helped her sit up on the bed and placed the tray in front. She ate her food silently, and kept looking back at the man whom she was seeing after 10 years. After they finished their dinner, Ji Hoo cleared the tray and sat on the bed facing her.

“Now tell me everything. How long have you been like this?” he asked stonily.

Ga Eul smiled faintly and leaned back against the headrest.

“I got to know about this 6 months back. I felt something was not right, after Danny left us. Danny is Eileen’s father. We are divorced for the last 1 year. I guess I have always been unlucky in love,” she spoke with a laugh, which did not quite reach her eyes.

“And all this while you did not care to let any of us know about this? What about Eileen? How is she going to live after you?” asked Ji Hoo agitatedly.

“I will let Danny know. But not yet. Otherwise he will take her away from me. I want to spend as much time with her as possible,” replied Ga Eul with a sigh.

Ji Hoo stood up and paced around the room tensely, rubbing on his face. Then he came back in front of her.

“You are coming back to Korea with me. Both you and Eileen.”

“No, I do not want to be a burden on my father. He is all alone now. It will be too much,” protested Ga Eul.

“You won’t be burden on anyone! You will stay with me!”

“No, I can’t do that Ji Hoo Sunbae. It will not be fair to your family.”

“I have no family, Ga Eul! Grandfather passed away 3 years back and I am all alone,” responded Ji Hoo with vehemence.

Ga Eul lowered her face and looked at her fingers on her lap.

“No, Sunbae. I do not want to add on to your misery,” she mumbled.

Ji Hoo pulled back his sleeve to show his wrist.

“Do you remember this?” he asked showing her the bracelet.

She looked at it with admiration and caressed it lightly.

“You still have this with you?”

“Yes. Because someone told me that this would remind me of the happy moments whenever I would feel low. And that is exactly what I have been doing all these 10 years. I never let anything stop me from living my life with hope. And today I see that same person in front of me, giving up on everything!”

Ga Eul burst in tears at his words.

“What hope do I have, Sunbae? A few months more, at the most?”

“Give those few months to me. Marry me, Ga Eul! I promise you, I will bring up Eileen as my own daughter and keep her happy always,” pleaded Ji Hoo, as he knelt down and held her hands close to his lips.

Ga Eul could not say anything. Only her tearful eyes gazed at the face of the most beautiful human being she had ever come across in her life.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Ji Hoo, Ga Eul and Eileen came back to Korea in a week and the very next week they got married. He made sure that Eileen felt at ease with all the changes in her life. The F4 kids embraced her as one of their own. Ji Hoo consulted the best medical specialists, both in country and abroad, for Ga Eul’s condition. He wanted her to suffer as less as possible. But deep down he knew, that nothing much could be done to stop the inevitable.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Ji Hoo drove his car to the park. On reaching the back gate, he came out and picked Ga Eul from the passenger seat in his arms and carried her inside the gate.

“It looks all the same, isn’t it Sunbae?” asked Ga Eul with a smile.

“What did I tell you about calling me by name?”

“Oh, old habits,” replied Ga Eul shyly and snuggled in his arms.

Ji Hoo sat down on the bench, with Ga Eul on his lap. She had lost lot of weight, but her face still was glowing beautifully.

“I never thought I would be able to come back to this park. Even when I visited Korea few times in the past years, I did not put a step inside the park,” she said with her head set in the crook of his neck.

“Why didn’t you come?” he asked softly.

“I did not want to spoil the memories I had with you. I never thought I would be able to sit here again with you,” she replied as she lifted her face to look in his eyes.

“Ji Hoo?”

He looked at her with a bright smile.

“I love you, Ji Hoo.”

“I love you too, Ga Eul. More than you can imagine,” whispered Ji Hoo and took her lips in an intimate kiss.

They both knew that moments like this were not many to come. So, they wanted to make every such moment as special and memorable as this. And thus, the park was yet again a witness to the love so beautiful and pure.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...