The request came as a surprise to Hakyeon. It started with a light tug on the hem of his sweatshirt and a quiet voice murmuring something inaudible. Distracted by tying his sneakers and music coming out the radio across the practice room, he didn’t hear him, but was urged to glance over his shoulder by the gesture. Once his laces were secured, he stood up and turned about to face his taller bandmate directly. When his almond eyes met the countering sharp ones, the man spoke up once more to make his words clearer.

“Come over, to my place.” Taekwoon repeated, trying to resist his urge to turn away or hide his face out of pure embarrassment. Instead he brought a hand up to the side of his neck and rubbed his sleeve against the skin in a back and forth motion. “When you have time, I mean.”

It had been a month since he moved out of VIXX’s dormitory. With the increased demand for private space to do his writing and composing, their manager granted his wish. Now he was situated in a condo much closer to the company building. It’s odd to say that the dorm got quieter since his departure, since Taekwoon wasn’t exactly the loudest person in the world. Jaehwan on the other hand…

The only person who’d been to his new place was Wonshik. VIXX LR planned to release a new album and they needed the quality time to discuss lyrics and new compositions. They often shuffled back there after group rehearsals, spending far more time together than Hakyeon was comfortable with. It was for work, he assured himself. During the unit’s “Beautiful Liar” promotions, he had directly expressed his anticipation for it when they visited his show as guests, but when the change happened he was made to swallow his words. A sharp rock that got lodged in his throat, scraping and scratching it’s way down until it finally crashed into the pit of his stomach every time they disappeared together.

“I’m free tonight.” He replied without hesitation.

Leo’s hand stopped its motion. He worked hard over the past two days to work up the courage to make the request, but he wasn’t mentally prepared for something so immediate. There was no real urgency, but at the same time he didn’t want to drag out his confusion any further than necessary. He knew he was thinking too much into it out of fear, and Hakyeon was waiting patiently for his response. He’d come this far. He needed to confront the slightly older, (painstakingly obnoxious), male. To free himself of his internal mystery. To be completely alone and honest. With Hakyeon, and himself.

“Okay.” He said with a nod. “Later.”

Hakyeon watched Leo shuffle away and frowned. He speculated that the rest of dance practice was going to be an even more grueling process than usual; and it was. The same lyrics. The same step sequence. They were all their own form of repetitive tortures as the group rehearsed. Whenever he danced one spot away from Taekwoon. Whenever the raven-haired vocalist made his way to the front of the others: the thought of being closer filled his mind. Close enough to speak openly. Close enough to confess with all his heart. Close enough to claim him.

Ravi yawned loudly beside him as the company van rocked along the silent street. Hakyeon glared at him, hating how good the rapper looked in all his unkempt drooling glory. His jawline, sharp and defined like the rest of his manly features. The depth of his husky voice as he dozed and grumbled against his neck. He glanced pass him at Leo, who was leaning with his arms folded against the tinted window with his face turned away. Hakyeon wondered what he was thinking, inviting him over so suddenly. Didn’t he want to take the effortlessly handsome rapper home instead? The man he felt was wedged between them emotionally, just as he was now physically.

The van pulled up to Taekwoon’s complex with a slow screech. Everyone half-way cracked an eye open, except for Hongbin who was snoring up front, to watch him exit the vehicle.

“Night.” Ken said sheepishly, waving a tired hand as Leo got out not noticing the gesture.

“Good night Hyung.” Hyuk smiled wearily, watching him circle around to stand near the entrance.

Ravi jolted awake when Hakyeon moved, blinking slowly and trying to focus his vision. When his other source of heat slipped out of the van, he looked up at him with a questioning expression.

“N Hyung. You’re going up?”

Hakyeon felt a jab in his chest and the skin of his palm prickle with heat. The audacity of him, to ask him the question as if he had no right. Treating it as if he must be notified if Taekwoon invited anyone else but him. The brazen nerve! The cool night air rushed up his sweater, sending a chill down his spine. Just what he needed to calm the raging jealous thoughts probing his mind. He clenched his fist and sighed.

“Yea.” He said with a smile. “We have to discuss some things. I’ll just crash here tonight since it’s late.”

Hakyeon searched for hurt in his eyes. He wanted rage, the same kind he felt every time he watched them leave together; but it never flashed in his eyes. Ravi yawned and shrugged.

“K. Night Hyung.”

Ken climbed from the back seat and shimmied his way to Leo’s previous spot. He hummed and relaxed where he was, waiting for Ravi to cuddle into him as the rapper leaned forward to grab the handle of the door beside him. Ravi waved to the two outside before pulling it shut. Hakyeon watched bewildered as the van pulled off with another screech, leaving him with a pitiful expression and the sound of Leo’s keys jingling behind him.

…

Keys to a gate. Sign in at a window. Key card for the room. Hakyeon watched these tedious things blankly, still contemplating his own stupidity. The signs should have been so obvious. The magnetic clinging. The neck nuzzling. The giddy laughter always followed by “how cute”, “such a cutie”, “why are you so cute” or any other form of endearing speech. Meanwhile, he was all alone, thrashing about in his head about a fictitious romance that existed with the wrong person.

He was still lost in his discovery, relieved really, but still so distracted that he barely noticed the look Leo was giving him as he stood in the doorway. Taekwoon’s stomach was doing all sorts of dances. A twist when his nerves told him that he looked disinterested and things were bound to go wrong. A turn when he called his name but he didn’t answer. A flip when finally his feet moved and he came inside.

“I know it’s late. You didn’t have to come.” Taekwoon said quietly, closing the door lightly, listening for the tone that signaled that it was locked.

Hakyeon glanced about once he flicked on the lights, taking in all of the remnants of Taekwoon’s new sanctuary. Simple gray furniture pieces. A couch and two end tables in front of a flat screen. Small framed photos of the members, family and plenty of his favorite nephew scattered on red painted walls. The stool of a piano sat in a crooked position as if he just composed a piece and darted straight out the door. Junk food and an empty ramyeon cup sitting abandoned on the coffee table between the couch and TV.

When Taekwoon noticed the small mess, he hustled over, huffing from the embarrassment. The two lived together with the group for several years, and him being untidy wasn’t exactly news to Hakyeon, but he didn’t want him to worry. He didn’t want him to see how he wasn’t cooking anymore. Didn’t want him to imagine endless nights at the piano. Pillows clutched tightly out of pure loneliness. He chose to leave. He needed to leave. He could survive without-

His mind went blank when he felt a firm hand on his wrist, the noodle cup still clutched in his hand. He glanced back at Hakyeon, who had crossed the room without him noticing. No time to hide the anxiety or stop himself from being pulled in by his gaze. No time to shy away and deny what he’d been without, alone in the confines of his apartment. Hakyeon, who would barge in on him while he was working on a song just to see if he stopped to eat. Hakyeon, who would chase him around the dorm just to tackle him and say a meaningless hello. Hakyeon, who he constantly shoved away, pretending not to love every moment of invasion.

Hakyeon, who was determined in this moment not to let him escape his grasp.

The empty cup dropped to the floor, bouncing once before rolling somewhere under the sofa. Hakyeon’s hand moved from his wrist to his cheek, it with his thumb, while the other slipped to the back of his head, pulling him closer as their lips rushed together. He moaned into his mouth, his own hands grabbing him by his slender waist.

“Stupid…I’m so…mm, stupid.” N pleaded in-between kisses, moving forward as Leo moved back towards the couch. He fell back, catching himself with his hands in the cushions while Hakyeon straddled his lap, his hands cradling his face as he chased his lips.

Leo gripped his shoulders and reluctantly pulled away, disrupting the kiss. Hakyeon panted, looking desperate and on the verge of tears. He deflated under Leo’s gaze, small tears pushing out the corners of his eyes as he lowered his head, hiccupping silently as his hands slid down and clutched his shirt. Leo sat up, careful not to knock him off and embraced him.

“What are you talking about?”

His voice was quiet as always, but the tone was softer than usual, gentle. Caring.

“I missed you so much it hurt.” Hakyeon confessed in a shaky voice. “I thought…I thought that after all that I’ve done that you had come to really hate me. I thought you moved to get away from me. I thought that Wonshik- “

“Why?” Leo huffed, annoyed. “What does he have to do with this? And why would I…Look at me.”

Hakyeon was sniffling but Leo lifted his chin, the action stopping his tears. The corners of his lips turned up in what was supposed to be a gentle smile, but paired with his default glare made him look angrier. Hakyeon gulped and regretted his words, regretted even accepting his invitations. What was he doing here, turning into a mess in his lap like a child? If Taekwoon ever found him annoying, he was sure this was driving him completely mad.

Hakyeon let go of his shirt and wiped his tears with the sleeve of his sweater, feigning a smile.

“Kidding!” He lied in an imitation of his usual cheerful tone. “I was just joking Leo. Don’t take it seriously. I’m okay. I’m just gonna…”

Leo clutched his shirt, preventing him from climbing off his lap. Now he was actually angry, more so with himself than Hakyeon. He knew he never said much, and did even less. He knew that Hakyeon always had to find his own answers because he gave none. Running while he chased. Shaking as he stood still. Shouting his feelings as he remained silent.

“I...”

Hakyeon in a breath as Leo’s hands traveled up from his hips to his sides, his eyes sharp and intense, cutting through the thick clouds of doubt in his heart. He gasped involuntary when his cold delicate hands slid to the sides of his neck, his breath steadily fanning his face as he brought his lips closer.

“…missed you too.”

The whispered confession made Hakyeon’s heart pound in his chest and once again Leo’s plush lips were pressing against his. He could taste the salt of his own tears as his lips parted, allowing a tongue to search his mouth, humming as his rolled around it. He released Leo’s shirt and threw his arms around his shoulders, pressing his body against his chest and grinding down into his lap.

Leo shuddered and bit his tongue, quickly bringing a hand down to tug the bottom of his sweater. Hakyeon pulled from the kiss, but only to remove his sweater, yanking his shirt off with it. Leo stared at him breathlessly, admiring every inch of his tanned skin. Hakyeon flushed and smashed their lips together again, giving himself no time for embarrassment. Leo responded to his eagerness in kind, turning so that he fumbled off his lap into the couch cushions.

Hakyeon watched through fluttering lashes as Taekwoon climbed between his legs, holding himself up with one hand on the back of the couch and the other beside his head. He hovered there a moment, catching his breath.

“Pabo-ya.” He hissed unexpectedly.

“What?”

Leo dipped down and kissed him roughly, laying himself down on top of him. Hakyeon clenched his eyes shut, savoring the pressure of his pelvis against his, the roughness of his shirt against his bare skin. Leo’s hand fell from the back of the couch and s up his abdomen. He trembled when he massaged one of his s between his thumb and index fingers, when he in his bottom lip and bit it.

The moan turned into a whimper, but Taekwoon didn’t stop until he drew blood, slowly unclamping the lip and pulling away as the metallic taste settled on his tongue. 

Hakyeon stared bug eyed at him, his lip throbbing and his heart thundering in his chest as blood thrummed in his ears. Taekwoon’s mouth remained ajar, his eyes black as he gazed down at him. He reached up, lifting his chin with his fingertips as his head hung a few inches above his face, his black fringe brushing against his forehead.

“Don’t you, ever.” Taekwoon threatened in a dark voice that shot from his ears straight to his .

This was the Leo who was hiding behind apprehension and uncertainty. A possessive and passionate Leo, with a fire in his soul ignited by Hakyeon.

“Don’t ever doubt me again.”

Leo bent his head down, resting his forehead against Hakyeon’s, his hand now cupping his cheek as he kissed him tenderly, tonguing the bruised lip.

“I won’t shy away from this anymore.” He promised against his lips. Hakyeon felt the fear in that promise, knowing now how hard he must have been fighting with his feelings. Knowing how much he pushed him to break. “I won’t run away. I…I can’t.”

Hakyeon sighed deeply and brought his hands to his face, cradling it as he beamed up at him. His eyes, soft and endearing. Accepting. Loving.

“Then give me everything.” He challenged, his usual confidence returning to his voice. “Give me you.”

After years of running. Months of denial. Days of agony. Minutes of fear. A moment of hesitation. Beneath dimmed bedroom lights, entwined in cotton sheets, voices melding together and skin set ablaze.

That’s exactly what he did.

END