"I'll let you go. I'll set you free." That soulful voice said, exceptionally sorrowful this time. "I hope you will find everything you need." He struggled with his emotions, speaking to the same person in the piece of fragile glass, fragile as himself.

It was Daesung's own way to convince himself to unlove the one constantly plaguing his thoughts. If only unloving someone was as easy as breathing, but then that wouldn't accurate too for it was hard to breathe when the other was around. His scent, his visage, just him, would permeate his senses, making Daesung dizzy, continuously falling hopelessly.

"I'll confess today." His best buddy had told him in the morning.

He felt a part of him died.

Because he was in love with Seunghyun, since forever.

But he also knew that there was someone Seunghyun loved for a long time.

That was what hurt the most.

It wasn't him.

Day after day, he would gush about how wondrous his crush was.

The cologne that person wore.

That person's adorable awkwardness.

That person's playfulness.

That person's everything.

That the one who had captured his heart was perfect for him or that person was just plain perfect.

About how the other person would never realise his feelings.

He doesn't understand, how does one not notice his Seunghyun?

Girls want to be with him and guys want to be like him, was there actually someone who was immune to his charm?

Nevertheless, he would have to let Seunghyun go, there was nothing he could do except to stay quietly by his side as a friend.

He'll never be good enough.

But Daesung knows what happens to friends once one of them gets a partner.

They slowly get neglected.

The ones with a lover will be constantly busy with their phones.

The lover will gradually join them on their outings.

The conversations between friends will become limited because nothing said between guys is ever safe for a girl's ears.

Eventually, they'll spend less time together.

He can't let Seunghyun know, however, or he might lose his only place beside him.

Keeping a secret hurts. Either the keeper or the one being kept from, or both.

He smashed his fist against the mirror.

Just like their friendship, once he reveals his true feelings, everything will be shattered into pieces.

Just like his fist, his heart hurt, covered with countless cuts, big ones, small ones, deep ones, shallow ones and he's bleeding from all of them.

Erase them, erase all of these hidden feelings. Having them is a torture. Is this suffering a punishment from loving a man?

It hurts, dammit. It hurts everywhere.

Still he doesn't cry, not really. He was past that threshold now. Instead, all he could manage was a single tear, wetting a trail as it slides down from the corner of his eye, the sparsity of tears conveying the deepest ache confined within his chest.

Daesung leaves the shattered pieces alone and took care of his hand, he has to be ready for Seunghyun's big moment.

***

They walked up the staircase, Seunghyun carrying a single tall stalk of flower, their usual bantering absent, instead slience took its place. There was an awkward tension hanging between the two of them.

Sunflowers Daesung noted. His favorite.

They had met when they a little more than boys, not yet grown ups.

"You're like the sun and I, the sunflower. I will always follow in whatever direction you are." Seunghyun told him with all the sincerity a twelve year old could muster.

And sunflowers became his favorite because Seunghyun was his favorite.

Seunghyun didn't know, Daesung never told him. His injured hand throbbed, the pain taking hold of his chest. Gravity seem extremely harsh  on Daesung today, each stair took increasingly more effort.

"What happened to your hand?" Seunghyun asked.

Daesung huffed, the single laugh mocking at himself. It had been over half an hour since they've met up and he's only asking it now.

But Seunghyun doesn't get it. He had thought the laugh meant that the wound was minor and he had overreacted. He was so nervous and had not notice it earlier.

Each step took them closer to the door leading to the rendezvous point.

Each step for Daesung became heavier.

As the two of them stood in front of the door, Daesung fought against the overwhelming urge to run.

"This is it... Bro." He said, clapping a hand down on Seunghyun's shoulder. The word 'bro' leaving his mouth in a croak.

Seunghyun took a deep breath and opened the door...

... To an empty rooftop.

No one was there.

The two walked onto the vacant area, surveying.

"Don't fret, hyung. She's probably just running late. You know, girls." Daesung rolled his eyes, emphasizing on 'girls' in an attempt to calm Seunghyun down.

Seunghyun, however, seemed more upset after he spoke.

Damn. That was insensitive of me. He scolded himself internally.

Seunghyun turned to face him, a frown creased on his forehead. "I never said the person was a female." He said.

"Hyung, I don't mean it that way. It doesn't matter if that person is a male or a female. As long as you are happy, that's all that matters to me."

"Even if that person is not you?"

"Even if that person is not... Who?!" Daesung stared wide eyed at Seunghyun, his mind not processing.

"Will you still be happy for me even if that person isn't you?" Seunghyun repeated.

Daesung swallowed the lump in his throat.

"No." He admitted.

"Then, would you make me happy?"

"Can I, really?"

"Why do you think like that?"

"Because the person you described isn't me. I'm not good enough, I'll never be."

"That person is you. You've always been amazing to me." Seunghyun told him. "I'm the one who's not good enough."

Daesung was flabbergasted.

Seunghyun clumsily pushed the flower into his hand. "Your favorite." He said.

"How did you..."

"I told you, you're my sun." Seunghyun grinned and spreads his arms.

"Dammit, why would you go and ruin the mood with that sappiness of yours?" Daesung said, falling into Seunghyun's open arms, laughing and sobbing.

They stand here under the lit sky, both fully grown men, no longer boys.

The two who have never been apart.