Back where we belong

When choosing the name for their sub-group, everyone asked why D&E? Hyukjae knew that this question will surely pop out, and thus he could answer all the questions easily because he had prepared them.

Truthfully, some things were really coincidences. For example, being born first to this world, or joining SM Entertainment first. Those things were surely not something Hyukjae could plan ahead. When he was signing up for SM Entertainment, Hyukjae hadn’t known Donghae at all.

But after meeting the boy who is currently black haired and then falling in love with him, almost every single event happening after that is something that Hyukjae had planned. Hyukjae likes doing things one step ahead of Donghae, so he will know what will they see. So he can help Donghae get through anything that they will face.

Although actually, entering the army first had a different and much simpler reason. Hyukjae wanted to enter the army first so he can come out earlier and be there to welcome Donghae when it’s his turn to be discharged. Because Hyukjae don’t want to make Donghae wait. Hyukjae want to make Donghae smile when he sees him standing there with arms opened wide.

But it seems like one year and nine months apart has make his lover a bit more mature. Sure they still meet once in a while, but compared to before when they spend almost every single day together, this separation has felt so far and long. Hyukjae realizes that when he steps outside of the military camp and sees Donghae standing there with the rest of the members.

Hyukjae is very surprised; he can’t hide his smile that only grows wider with each passing second. Donghae opens his arms wide and Hyukjae steps into it, without realizing staring at him with that same adoring gaze he always had when looking into Donghae’s eyes as he curls his arms around Donghae’s body and hugs him tight.

“Why are you here?” Hyukjae asks breathlessly, although he doesn’t get his answer because Donghae is already too far gone in their embrace.

Hyukjae can’t stop smiling when he feels Donghae hugging his neck and buries his face into his shoulder. That is their hug. Donghae really likes snuggling against Hyukjae’s neck and hug him like that. Hyukjae tries calling him again, but Donghae only hums as an answer and tightens their hug, making Hyukjae laugh even louder.

The flash of cameras bring him back to reality and the fact that they are still in front of hundreds of fans and also reporters. “Hae, Donghae, let go for now, mh?” he asks softly.

Donghae lets him go reluctantly. But at least, Hyukjae can see that small smile on Donghae’s thin lips before he has to move and hug the other members.

To be honest, Hyukjae is nervous. It has been almost two years since he stood up in front of cameras like this. Granted, Hyukjae has done multiple events in the military band. Still, those are just events, not a national show aired through the television for the whole nation to watch. Now he is finally back under the limelight as Super Junior’s Eunhyuk. But at least his nervousness dies down drastically knowing that Donghae is there. Hyukjae smiles and starts to greet everyone there.

At one moment when Leeteuk is speaking, Hyukjae looks back at Donghae and finds that his lover’s clear brown eyes are starting to tear up. At first Hyukjae laughs, because really, this is his discharge day. So why is Donghae the one feeling emotional?

“Idiot, why are you crying?” Hyukjae asks while pulling him into a side hug, causing the fans to yell and cheer. Donghae only shakes his head, bowing down a bit deeper.

But soon after that, Hyukjae feels his own gaze starting to blur as the tears slowly comes out.

As if all the feelings that has been building up for the past two years suddenly engulfing him out of the blue. Two years, almost two years and now he has finished it all. Of course Donghae feels emotional, he is too.

Hyukjae still remembers that day very well. One day before his enlistment, the hug he shared with Donghae. The weight in their hearts made them unable to say anything else other than each other’s name. And so that was all Hyukjae had said. He kept whispering Donghae’s name repeatedly, making sure each one of them was filled with unspoken promises and feelings. Donghae had replied by repeating his name just as sorrowful. Their hug had felt so tight, so desperate.

That day, Hyukjae had thought that they will really be separated for two years. After enlisting, Hyukjae realized that the reality wasn’t as bad. In fact, it’s a lot better than he thought. Hyukjae still got holidays, and those days he immediately spent with Donghae without any question.

Even when they could still meet once in a while, but compared to before it really was not enough. Before, they spend almost every waking hour beside each other. Hyukjae is very used to opening his eyes and seeing Donghae asleep in his arms. Hyukjae is very used to going to sleep after kissing Donghae goodnight. But during those two years, every single meeting only reminded them of the separation by the end of the day. Every single day they were apart felt like three autumns had passed.

But now he is free. Hyukjae won’t need to feel that again. Donghae won’t need to wait for him again. Of course they feel emotional and happy.

“Yah! Stop crying!” Yesung’s voice brings Hyukjae back from his daydream, and Hyukjae quickly wipes his moist eyes as Yesung tap both of their shoulders.

Fans start to cheer for them to not cry, over and over again, and Hyukjae vaguely hears Leeteuk laughing before saying; he’s not crying!

Oh if only you knew, Jungsoo-hyung.

But it’s alright, because it will all soon be over.

Once again, Hyukjae steals a glance at Donghae and finally smiles.

Two more days, our wait will soon end.

~***~

That evening, they spend the rest of the day with the members. Laughing, joking around, letting go all the loneliness that had piled up for two years. But even during the most crowded times, Hyukjae never leaves Donghae’s side. Even until the sun goes down and the moon rises up, they are still inseparable.

The next morning, the members gather once more before Donghae has to go back to work for the very last time.

“I’m sorry, Donghae-ya. We need to depart to Osaka tomorrow morning, we won’t be able to pick you up.”

Donghae shakes his head softly. “It’s alright, Jungsoo-hyung. I understand. Besides, we are now here already, right?”

“Heebongie is still sulking because he can’t be here with us,” Yesung snickers next to them. “His schedule is really full lately.”

Donghae smiles. “Heechul-hyung is always on the television these days. No matter what channel it is. The people from my division really like watching him.”

“Even the people from my division love watching Heechul-hyung’s variety shows,” Hyukjae adds.

“My division too,” Shindong pipes in. “Maybe because Heechul-hyung’s face is as pretty as any girl group member’s,” he jokes.

“Might be!” Donghae laughs cheerfully, before reminding of the time. “Oh, I have to go now! See you later, hyung!”

“See you later, Donghae-ya!”

“Be careful, Donghae!”

“See you!”

Hyukjae holds Donghae’s hand a bit longer before letting it go. “I’ll see you later, Donghae-ya. Good luck on your last day, mh?”

Donghae smiles, hugging Hyukjae shortly. “I’ll go now. Wait for me to come back?”

“Surely.”

~***~

The next day, the members are still busy preparing their own luggage to bring to Osaka; except for Yesung who is busy with his phone.

“Whoa, it is even more crowded than I thought.”

Hyukjae lifts one of his brows, turning to look at Yesung. “What is?”

“Look at this.” Yesung shows his phone to Hyukjae. “The number of fans waiting for Donghae isn’t any less than yours.”

Hyukjae’s heart fills with worry seeing the number of fans. He slides the screen to see even more fans and reporters waiting. “Wasn’t Donghae’s discharge supposed to be quiet?”

“Supposedly,” Leeteuk sighs. “Because we need to depart to Osaka and won’t be able to pick him up later. I’m also worried about the netizen’s reaction if he shows up in too many articles. You know how they are always judgmental towards the idols doing police duty. It seems like we miscalculated the fans and the reporters … ”

“Donghae will be forced to face everyone,” Yesung comments. “He won’t be able to go out discreetly and avoid fans, letting hundreds of them disappointed right?”

“Is there no other way?” Hyukjae asks.

“Go.”

Everyone turns to look at Heechul who had been silent all along, busy packing his own luggage. Feeling every pair of eyes on him, Heechul only replies with his classic why is this even confusing look.

“You go pick him up. Besides, you’re not going to go up on stage either in SMTown later right? It will be fine if you don’t come with us.”

“But the plane ticket … ” Hyukjae mumbles.

Heechul rolls his eyes. “Jungsoo?” he asks while looking at their leader.

“It can be fixed,” the answer is short yet resolute.

“So what are you waiting for?” Heechul looks back at Hyukjae with a brow raised. “Go pick him up. Isn’t that what you had been waiting to do for this past two years?”

Hyukjae smiles, scrambling towards Heechul to hug him tight. “Thank you, hyung.”

Heechul ruffles his hair a bit harshly, but underneath it all affectionately. “Ah, I wasn’t able to pick you up yesterday and today I can’t pick up Donghae either.” His tone sounded full of remorse. “Send my love to him!”

“Will do!”

Hyukjae then runs to Leeteuk and hugs him too, before saying his goodbyes to the other member, dashing out to quickly pick Donghae up.

Donghae looks really surprised, the same as when Hyukjae realizes that Donghae was there to pick him up two days ago. Hyukjae never regrets going alone to pick him up at all. Because that smile he is showing right now, that bright, blissful smile costs more than any plane ticket ever will.

~***~

Right now the two of them are in the minivan. After greeting all the fans and reporters, Donghae and Hyukjae finally leaves the place. Hyukjae is supposed to watch their surroundings more but he is too busy staring at his lover that he had missed so much.

“Have you eaten?” Hyukjae asks softly.

Donghae smiles and nods. “I ate before going out,” he replies just as soft.

“By the way, you didn’t tell me you are going to pick me up? I thought you are supposed to go to Osaka with the others?”

Hyukjae laughs, looking proud. “You also didn’t tell me when you’re going to pick me up two days ago. Yes, I was, but I cancelled it. Do I manage to surprise you?”

The shine in Donghae’s eyes melts Hyukjae’s heart. “Very surprised,” he replies with a toothless grin. “But I’m also very happy.”

“Then it’s all good,” Hyukjae whispers.

“Donghae, Hyukjae, what do you want to eat?” suddenly their manager asks from the front seat, cutting in their conversation.

Hyukjae glances at Donghae for a short while before replying quickly. “Ah, I already ate earlier! I’m not hungry yet.”

“Eh? Is that so? How about you, Donghae?”

“I already ate,” Donghae answers.

The manager looks confused, but just shrugs. “Okay then. Do you guys just want to go straight to Donghae’s apartment then?”

“Sure. Thanks hyung,” Hyukjae says.

The manager nods, his gaze doesn’t waver from the road since the beginning anyway because he had been driving. Hyukjae looks at Donghae who is staring at him with a hint of surprise. “We’re going home now, Hae.”

Donghae smiles, the sparkly glint in his eyes back. “Home.”

Hyukjae intertwines their fingers. Warm, it feels very warm and comfortable.

“Yes, home.”

~***~

Hyukjae is still taking of his shoes by the apartment door when Donghae turns around and asks. “What do you want to eat, Hyukkie?”

Hyukjae lifts one of his brows, smiling slightly.

“I know you were lying earlier. You haven’t eaten, have you?” Donghae guesses.

Hyukjae shrugs, his smile widening. “I miss the ramyeons you make.”

“What a coincidence, I only have ramyeon here,” Donghae giggles and goes to his kitchen, the hat he had been wearing now hung on the rack. “I rarely ate at home. I always go to my mom’s place.”

“I know,” Hyukjae says. “But I really miss your ramyeon. And I want to quickly come back here too.”

“Go take a seat, I will make it for you.”

But Hyukjae only shakes his head, following Donghae to the kitchen to ‘help’ him. Even when all he does is actually just taking out the pot and handing it to Donghae. Really, there’s not much to be done to cook a packet of ramyeon. After that, he only stands next to Donghae, watching him cook.

“What did you eat earlier?” Hyukjae asks again.

“Cafeteria food, nothing special,” Donghae answers with a light laughter. “I’m quite used to the cafeteria food by now, its okay. Luckily I still get to go home often to taste my mom’s food.”

“Mm, I also missed your mom’s japchae.”

“Come over later when you have time! My mom misses you very much too!” Donghae says while stirring the ramyeon, he hadn’t really thought about his answer.

“I have many time, Hae,” Hyukjae reminds him with a soft smile. “We can go there anytime you want … ”

Donghae’s eyes widen, before his gaze turns soft and a smile full of happiness blooms back on his lips. “You’re right. Now we can go there anytime we want … ”

“How about we go there tomorrow, hm? We won’t need to think of the time at all.”

Hyukjae closes in to Donghae, hugging him from the side and kissing his temple softly. Donghae nods, for a while closing his eyes to savor the moment. “Mm, that sounds perfect to me.”

We have all the time in the world.

~***~

“It still feels hard to believe.”

Hyukjae turns his head to look at his lover who is now lying down on the bed beside him. “What is?”

“This.” Donghae entwines their fingers once more. He then snuggles to Hyukjae and hugs him tighter. “You, being here right now. With me, at home. This all feels like a dream.”

Hyukjae’s gaze turns mellow, but he turns his body sideways to hug his lover back. “This is not a dream, Hae. I’m here now. I’m home, and I won’t be leaving ever again.”

Donghae laughs softly. “I know that. I mean, I suppose I know that. We were also together two days ago, but still this feels a bit unbelievable.”

Hyukjae his hair. “Two days felt so long without you.”

“You’re right.”

Donghae stares at Hyukjae’s face, he lifts his finger to trace the jawline he loves so much. “I miss lying down with you like this. I miss sleeping in your arms and waking up next to you.”

Hyukjae closes his eyes for a short moment, enjoying Donghae’s touch before staring into his eyes deeply. “I do too, Hae. Believe me I do too.”

“I’m afraid that if I close my eyes right now, I will open it back tomorrow morning and find that I’m alone again, that you aren’t back yet and this is all a dream.” Donghae’s voice sounds sorrowful. He snuggles even closer and buries his face on Hyukjae’s nape.

“This is not a dream, Hae. I promise you that. Tomorrow morning you will wake up and I will still be here. Then, we will always be together. Then, we will have all the time we need. We will always be together.” Hyukjae Donghae’s back softly, repeatedly, calming him down.

“We will always be together, I like that.”

“Mm, we will be together again.”

“Together … again … ”

Hyukjae smiles. “Back together.”

Not long after that, Hyukjae feels how Donghae’s breath starts to even out. Finally all the fatigue and emotional exhaustion catches up to him and he falls asleep in Hyukjae’s arms.

Two years apart, maybe their conversations today are far from enough to fill in the gap of longing. But it’s alright, because now they have all the time in the world. They can spend all the time they want, because now they are back together and will never be separated again.

Hyukjae whispers a soft goodnight to Donghae’s ears before following him to the dream world, letting sleep take over him.

The next morning when Hyukjae wakes up with Donghae in his embrace and looking at the blissful smile gracing that sleeping face, Hyukjae knows that he is finally back to where he belong.

-Fin-