"We have an announcement. Pay attention. I have an announcement! This year 2013. On the month of October. The two of us are getting married!" What? Did he say- what? Is he serious?

So many questions in my head at that moment. I was afraid if Seungcheol doesn't love me back. I thought I was the one who will take the first step. But it turns out. It's not. And I tell you what, the 'The End' is not going well.

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Years passed after that day. Pre-debut, we were just fine. But when debut is closer, we became further.

During SEVENTEEN project Seungcheol said "Our relationship become further and further. If we don't confess our feelings, our relationship will get worse."

I never say 'I love you' towards Seungcheol. I was too afraid if Seungcheol doesn't feel the same way. What if he's just joking is the most feared question in my mind.

That night, when we were about to sleep, I asked him "Cheol-hyung. Do you really love me?"

I closed my eyes, head's down. I was afraid if he doesn't love me back. But what I received was a hug. It was so warm, I missed it.

"Finally you noticed." He said.

I hugged him back, then we confess to one another.

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Adore U era was great. We promoted well. Our relationship weren't really well. Seungcheol often gets touchy with Jeonghan. I don't mind, I said it to myself. Even if they’re lies, I need to say it.

We shared times while working in the studio. But it doesn't feel right anymore. He talk less to me. Barely see me.

One night. In the studio. I opened my mouth. I was about to ask him about him and Jeonghan. But no words coming out from my mouth. I was so afraid if I'm wrong and then things go wrong. So I closed my mouth.

The world tics. Mansae era comes.

The group was alright. But my relationship with Seungcheol got worse. Seungcheol always with Jeonghan and they started to get shipped. Parents of SEVENTEEN they call them.

I became unbalanced with my work. I became lazy and unmotivated. I become stressed, the pressure goes more and more unbearable.

Whenever there's Jeonghan, he's with him. But when there's no Jeonghan, he's with me. I wasn't feel happy at all. That fact just makes me feel Seungcheol will be there if he needs me only. When there's no one to cling to.

I became further from Seungcheol. Maybe it's just a fan-service, I said to myself. Yet again, even if they’re lies, I need to say it.

The situation goes like that until BOOM BOOM era comes. He made me fly, he made me fall.

I received so many love from him. But I also received so many JeongCheol moments.

They're everywhere. And they never fail to made me feel down. I felt so dumb. So dumb fell in love with him.

And this is time, I don't deny the truth. They're something between them of course.

One night I asked him if he still loves me. "Of course, Ji." Was his answer.

"I love you, Cheol."

"Love you, too, cherry tomato."

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Here comes Don't Wanna Cry era.

When the MV released, I received comments about my work. Plagiarism, they said. I cried that night, in the studio of course. But I wasn't able to tell anyone about my feelings to make it a little lighter.

I heard a knock on the door. I silenced myself but the person comes in first.

"Hyung? What happened?" It was Kwon Soonyoung.

"Ah, I'm okay. No need to worry about me." I denied the truth.

Soonyoung disobey my order to go back to the dorm and rest. He forced me to talk, and words escaped from my lips.

I spent the night with him. But I wish it was Seungcheol instead.

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Recently, Seungcheol was with Jeonghan all the time. It makes me hate myself to fall for him.

I can't hold it anymore, so I asked him for a break up. 

"Well, it's okay. I'm with Jeonghan anyways."

I was holding myself not to cry but my tears were fast. "So, you were lying all this time? Was that marriage even true?" Then I left him.

The next day I wanted to spend my time alone in the studio. But Soonyoung knew, so he accompanied me.

I didn't know what's in Soonyoung's mind but he said "Woozi is y! He's my wife and I'm his husband!" To a fan.

That night I asked him if he loves me, he answered "I do."

I thought about it. The only thing that will fill the big hole in my heart is love. So I asked him again if he wants to date me, he answered "I do." This time, I asked with no fear. 

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Our relationship goes well. I became happier and brighter each day, I said it to myself. Even if they’re lies, I need to say it.

Each touch makes me feel guilter for Seungcheol. Why should I, I said it to myself. Even if they’re lies, I need to say it.

I'm okay. I don't miss you. I said it to myself. Even if they’re lies, I need to say it.