---

Disclaimer: Credits to the writer of this drama for the flashbacks used, and Dramafever for the translations.

~ Indicates a transition

* Indicates a flashback

---

Leave.

Don't leave.

Leave.

Don't leave....

Leave.

Is this the right decision? Hae Soo watched as the flower petals descended into the Damiwon bath. Could she really leave him behind? A few days earlier she had told Baek Ah to deliver the message to Jung that she was willing to leave. Yet, why was her heart wrenching this way?

Just as Lady Oh had warned, the palace was a treacherous place. Every step she took felt like walking on thin ice. The once beautiful palace in her eyes had become a nightmare she wanted so desperately to escape from. Lately the suffocating walls felt like they were closing in around her, taking away every breath she took in. She couldn't bear to see any more bloodshed and royal strifes for the throne.

Would this be something she'd regret?

As the petals continuously flitted into the water, Hae Soo's mind reeled endlessly. Should she stay? Wang So. She loved him. She loves him. Could she bear to break the promise she made to him? "I'm right here. I won't leave you." She wishes she didn't have to choose. She wishes she could stay, because in another lifetime, she would always come home to him.

Lost in thought, she doesn't notice the soft padding of footsteps coming towards her.

"Soo-ah." His voice; the voice she could discern in any lifetime; a voice that she will miss dearly. Placing the stems onto the floor, she looks up. Since he became King, they haven't been able to meet as much as they used to—as much as she'd like to. He gives her a soft, but tired, smile.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice is laced with sadness. She hopes he doesn't notice.

"I came to see you, of course." He doesn't notice. In a couple of strides, he's standing in front of her and pulls her up so she's standing from her sitting position. Before she's aware of it, he pulls her into a tight hug. Quietly, he murmurs into her hair while pulling her even closer, "I missed you." 

Don't be good to me; treat me indfferently instead. Please stop making my heart waver, otherwise I won't be able to leave when I've already set my mind on doing so.

"I missed you too." She closes her eyes and takes everything in—the warmth of his hug and the steady rhythmic beating of this heart. Why couldn't they stay like this?

When they eventually pulled apart, he wordlessly grabs her hand and pulls her out of the Damiwon bound for somewhere. "Pyeha, where are you taking me?"

He smiles back at her and all he says is, "It's a surprise."

 

~~~

 

They walked on in a comfortable silence and when he finally stops, she almost crashes into his back. She realizes that they were at Lake Dongji, which only looked more serene and breathtaking at night. She remembers that boat ride—the one in which he shook his boat and she was clinging on for dear life.

Wang So had laughed, and his smile was the brightest she had ever seen on him. Her mind had taken a picture of the image he presented: eyes crinkled into half moons and rowing under the sparkling sun. He had something to say then; he was going to tell her he loves her—he was going to propose. She smiles faintly at the memory.

Why is it that I can't forget? My heart hurts the more I remember.

So's voice pulls Hae Soo out of her reverie. "Let's go on a boat ride." He holds out his hand for her to take and she's reminded of how he had done the same on her birthday years back.

 

***

A distant wolf howl drives her attention away from the book she was reading. That’s weird. There were no wolves before today…The howling comes again and she finally realizes who it was.

Hands clasped in front of her, Hae Soo leaves the Damiwon. As she walks out—keeping her elegance and poise—she spots Wang So below the steps, looking up at her.

“Was it you who made those animal sounds just now?” she questions, though she was well aware of the answer.

“Yes,” he says bluntly. “I sounded so much like an animal that I was afraid you wouldn’t know.”

She holds in her smile at his ridculous confidence over such an odd thing.

“You’re not a dog or a wolf. It sounded like you were choking on a rice cake,” Hae Soo teases, leading to Wang So’s smile being wiped off his face.

He scoffs. “Why does it matter? You’re out here, aren’t you?” He clears his throat and proceeds with the wolf howl again. Holding in her smile was very hard, but she managed to keep a straight face. The only indication of a smile was a slight uplift of her lips. 

Embarrassed, he suggested that they go somewhere, while climbing the steps to reach her; one foot on a step and one on the gorund. When she asked why, all she got in reply was a vague; “I’ll show you something good for your birthday present.”

Her birthday. He remembered it. 

He looks at her expectantly, all the while holding out his hand for her to take.

When she puts her hand in his, he holds onto it tighter.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Hae Soo that their hands fit perfectly in each others.

 

***

 

She places her hand in his and he guides her to the boat, not letting her fall. She's thankful he decided not to rock the boat this time. Instead, he rows them out into the middle of the lake so they were situated right beneath the stars. The brightest stars are the ones that rise in Goryeo, Hae Soo decides.

She feels the boat shift as she gazes up at the stars, and when she looks back, Wang So is laying down with his hands beneath his head, eyes staring at the night sky. She smiles to herself and moves to lie down beside him and he immediately moves his arm out for her to use as a pillow.

They stargaze in peace until Hae Soo speaks up. "Pyeha, do you know that even in different worlds, we can all see the same stars?" Wang So looks over at her fondly.

Hae Soo continues on, gazing up at the stars as he listens intently. "Some people believe that when you miss someone and look up at the stars, they're also doing the same." When I'm gone, will you think of me when you look up at the stars?

Wang So turns to look at her intently, a small crease in his forehead as his eyebrows furrow.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Whenever you have that expression on your face it's as if you're going to go somewhere far away."

Hae Soo stills. Of course he'd see right through her—he always does. She can't open to speak because if she does, she's afraid she'll reveal everything and that would only hurt him even more. So, she opts for reaching over to smooth his furrowed brows and gives him a smile that she hopes is convincing. Wang So remains silent and her heart slams against her ribcage thinking that he has everything figured out. She turns onto her back again, and they keep looking up at the stars in silence until he speaks up in a voice that's barely audible.

"I hope that you'll remain by my side until the end of time. You're my person and I can't live without you." Wang So turns to face her, staring intently into her eyes as he does so—as he's always done. Hae Soo's chest contracts violently and it feels as though she had been stabbed straight through the heart. She opens to say something—anything—to reassure him of her promise, but no words come out. Wang So doesn't notice and pulls her close to his chest, placing his head atop of hers.

Lying there in his arms, it felt like home. She snuggles closer and hopes that he'd be able to hear all the things left unsaid. I love you. Hae Soo wishes that she wasn't so stubborn. She wishes that she were more selfish when it came to them. She wishes their love wouldn't end this way. But most of all, Hae Soo wishes that she'd able to wake up from this sad dream.

 

~~~

 

She doesn't know how long they remained in that boat, or whether she had fallen asleep in his arms, but when she came to, he had rowed them back to the banks. Helping her out of the boat, he laces his hand in hers and they walk side by side under the canopy of the white cherry blossom trees near the lake.

"Can we go to the prayer towers? I have a very important wish to make, Your Majesty."

"Of course. I have a wish that'd I like to make as well."

As the prayer towers come into view, Wang So and Hae Soo stand side by side; hands clasped together, eyes closed, and both deep in thought. When she was sure he was still praying, she opened her eyes and looked over. He seemed so serious about whatever it was he was wishing for, she was curious to know. She didn't realize she had been staring until his voice startles her.

"Are you done staring at me now?" Her eyes widened and she could visibly see him smirk.

"Ho-how can you tell?" Hae Soo knew he was a keen fighter—and a skilled one at that—but to be this aware of his surroundings, especially with his eyes closed, was just something else.

"How can I not when it's you?" He replies without missing a beat. So opens one eye to glance at her, and then finally both eyes turn to give her his full attention. "So, what'd you wish for?"

Getting over her initial shock, Hae Soo says, "Pyeha, don't you know that if you voice your wishes aloud, they won't come true?" He looks skeptical but doesn't push for her wish further, and she decides not to ask for his either. "I would really like for this wish to come true." No matter how many lifetimes it takes.

As they're both absorbed in their own wishes, Hae Soo quietly asks, "If...one day I go to a faraway place and our roads no longer cross, would you resent me?" Would you still love me?

The minutes go by agonizingly and she thinks that he'll say, "yes"—that he would never forgive her; not that she'd blame him. As soon as the words leave his mouth though, she realizes that in this lifetime or the next, he would always be the one to love her more than she did him. Tears stream endlessly down her face, and if he took notice, he did not voice it out loud. Who am I that you would give up your heart for me like this?

"Even if the stars collided with the moon, even if the sun no longer shone, and even if you realize you're no longer in love with a man like me, I'd still risk my life and walk to the ends of the earth to find you and tell you that I'll always love you."

 

~~~

 

 

Wang So always looked so at peace when he was asleep. He had no worries, no fears, and she wishes that he'd always remain this way. After they came back from the prayer towers, they both had fallen asleep in each other's embrace. Hae Soo wants to fall asleep again and forget that she's leaving tomorrow morning; leaving him behind. She turns in his arms to face him and just looks, trying to embed his face into her mind so that'd she'd never forget.

Lightly tracing over his scar, she trails her hands over his eyes, the slope of his nose, his jaw, and then finally, his lips. She scoots closer and through her blurry, tear-filled vision, she kisses him one last time. She tastes the salt of her tears and hopes that he doesn't wake up. Hae Soo's mind goes back to the time they first kissed—when he confessed and when she told him to never forget.

 

***

 

"On the day we went on the boat, you had something important to tell me." He gave her an amused look. She doesn't know how she still remembered to ask, but Hae Soo needed to know what he was going to say that day. "You never did forget, did you?"

He gives her that small, endearing lopsided smile and nods. She tried to act nonchalant, but it came off as if she was sulking. "What was it?"

Wang So stares at her for a brief moment before walking closer, causing her to look up. "I...love you." She smiled so bright that it reached her ears. She never thought she would want to hear that phrase so desperately, especially from him; the one she didn't think she'd fall for at all in the beginning.

She goes on tiptoes and gives him a peck on the lips. Still smiling, Hae Soo says, "Next time, don't forget." And she really hopes that he never will.

He looked adorably shocked at what she had done, but after getting over his initial surprise, Wang So gave her that brilliant smile that she only saw when they were together.

She should've expected as much when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her flushed against him. Thump. Thump. Thump. Her heart was still not immune to him, and it seemed it never would be.

Lifting a hand up, he brushed back the hair away from her face, trailing it down to caress her cheek, all the while staring deeply into her eyes.

He leans in to kiss her, slowly and sweetly, and she wraps her arms around his back. She didn't think it was possible to fall for him anymore than she already had, yet here she was, heart beating miles per minute as their lips met.

 

***

 

Morning comes all too soon, and before Wang So wakes up, Hae Soo crawls out of their bed and looks out of the window; shutters lined with rice paper. Day hasn't even broken yet, and the orange, yellow, and purple streaks across the sky captivate her and hold her attention.

Closing her eyes, she takes in one deep breath of air, as if that would somehow soothe her worries and doubts and take them away. She gradually gets up to pack, throwing one last lingering glance over her shoulder at the sleeping form of Wang So, still curled up facing the side of the bed that was hers.

 

~~~

 

Even though she would've liked to say a final goodbye, leaving in secret would spare them both the pain. The guards didn't question why she was going out so early, or why there was a palanquin waiting below the grand steps, and for that she was thankful. As she was halfway down the steps, she thought that this was it; the last time she would ever see him. But as fate would cruelly have it, she hears him calling her name.

Turning around, she sees a very worried and disheveled So. He was still in his undergarments, the thin white fabric flapping in the wind. He frantically ran over to her and held onto her upper arms. "Is something wrong? Why are you up so early? I woke up and you weren't there beside me."

Hae Soo remains silent as tears welled up in her eyes, and only then does he see the cloth bundle that she's holding onto. His arms slowly drop from hers. "You're...leaving?" She could only stare as his eyes gave way to pain. Her heart shattered into a million pieces. She never wanted to hurt him like this.

felt dry, turning her incoherent. He was still standing frozen in shock, facing her. "I...can't stay."

You promised you would never leave. Even if the whole world gave up on me, you said you would stay. "Why?" His voice was a desperate plea.

I'm sorry. "I can't take this anymore. Getting involved with the Royal Family was something that should've never happened. I don't belong here in the middle of a war zone."

He looks down at the ground, and when he looks up again, she sees tears in his eyes. "Even when you have me by your side?"

Her insides are twisted into a knot she can't untie. "You're the most important person in my life—someone I'll never forget. But, I have to leave. Please understand." I love you. I'll never stop loving you.

The strings of their fate are slipping through his fingertips. He's holding on, but no matter how hard he's trying, the end was inevitable. Please stay. I need you here with me.

Silence hovers over them.

"Do you want to know what my wish was by the prayer towers?" Hae Soo's eyes shift back and forth between his own, searching for the remnants of a broken heart that still loved her.

"I wished for your happiness—that you would always smile, and never have a reason to cry again. Yet, here we are." I have to let you go, no matter how much this hurts me; no matter how much I love you.

Tears are streaming uncontrollably down her face and he lifts a hand up to wipe them off, but decides against it last minute and drops his hand.

"If this is what you truly want, then I grant you freedom." I can't hold onto you when your heart isn't here. Do you still love me? Do you love me at all?

I'll miss you. You're the only person I'll ever love in this life. I'm sorry our story ends here. She gives him a deep bow, and looks up again to say, "Thank you, your Majesty." Thank you for everything, especially your heart that I don't deserve.

Right before she turns to go back to the palanquin, he rakes his eyes over her whole being, trying to etch her image into his mind. He sees that she still has the hairpin he gave her, placed neatly in her hair. You still love me. That is enough for me.

"I guess this is goodbye, Hae Soo." I wish it wasn't.

Tears are falling down his face, and more fall down on hers.

She was gripping the cloth bundle so tight that her fingers were turning white. The numbing sensation in her fingers helped to keep the pain of departure at bay. All the while, she could only stare straight into his eyes.

She never thought that loving someone would hurt this much, and she didn't realize that leaving that person would hurt a thousand times more.

Right as she's about to grab his hand, Wang So turns around and walks away, oblivious to her hesitation.

Hae Soo watches his retreating back, shoulders slumped and arms dropped by his sides. One step. Two steps. Three steps. The further away he got from her, the more willpower it took her to not run after him and stay. As the palace gates slowly close and all see could see was his distant form amongst the high palace walls, she turns around and wills her feet to move.

Before the palace walls could close completely, Wang So turns around and takes one last glance at her. She takes one step. Two steps. Three steps. She really was leaving him behind, but he loved her too much to ask her to stay—even if it was for him. As tears threatened to fall, Wang So forces them away.

In another life, let's not say goodbye, my love, my Hae Soo.

She hears the large red gates close before she feels the vibrations in the ground. Hae Soo drags her feet away from the palace, and the further she gets, the more the memories they shared play out in her mind. As more tears well up in her eyes, the cracks and rocks in the ground become distorted until the gray colors begin to blend into an incomprehensible mirage; a blurry monochromatic watercolor painting.

Even if tears cloud her vision, all she could see in her mind was his face smiling at her. Hae Soo submits to the pull of reality and she knows that their fate in this life had really come to an end. Under the bright, blue sky, they left each other beneath falling flower petals scattered by the blowing wind.

I still love you, my prince, my Wang So.

 

~~~

 

If by chance or fate, please allow me my wish of meeting him again. How great it would've been if I had met him in another world and at a different time. I wouldn't fear anything. Only then would I be able to love him freely—to love him as much as I want—as much as my heart desires.