Kihyun remembers enjoying the most beautiful moment in his life,smilling Hyungwon next to him as they were riding to Busan on their date,it was Hyungwon’s birthday and he even by now didn’t know what to give to dazzling angel sitting beside him, latter was smiling while telling one of his childhood stories, how he enjoyed to look out of window while it was raining ,to let chilly wind play with his hair but soon after his mother would tuck him into bed to sleep with goodnight kisses.

Hyungwon was enjoying the most beautiful sight he could remember ,Kihyun was smiling,holding his hand and listening closely as his deer eyes blinked with curiosity It was already the best gift he could ask for, he liked to listen to younger’s deep voice while he fell asleep, it was tranquil and comforting.The sight of younger’s box smile is the only thing he doesn’t want to forget.

The moment they cherished got crushed into seconds,next thing Hyungwon saw was blood rushing on younger’s face,The last thing Kihyun saw was Hyungwon’s tears.After the car accident they woke up in hospital,but now already used to white walls and a lone window next to Kihyun’s bed.

Hyungwon’s heart ached as he could only look at celling, his back was severely damaged but he so wanted to see Kihyun’s smile,like every worry he has would be erased with wide boxy smile.Kihyun was damaged as well but he had one little thing he could always look forward to.Once in day he could sit up for an hour and watch what was happening on the other side of the window.Once he was sitting he would describe every little thing he could see and Hyungwon began to live for that hour each day, as his world would be broadened and enlivened by the activity of the world outside and Kihyun’s precious voice.

‘’There is a park with lovely lake,ducks and swans are playing as children sail their toy boats.I see teenagers walking arm in arm amidst flowers of every color,they remind me on days you clang on me like a sloth on tree’’ Hyungwon giggled at the memory as a single tear escaped the corner of his eye,but he wanted to hear more of the beautiful world outside ‘’Go on ,what do you see more?’’

‘’A fine view of city skyline could be seen in the distance, golden colored leaves are falling on the floor in front of an old grandma,I see pigeons gathering around her, a leave fell on paper boat and it sunk,ohh it was so close to finish,there are two boys giving out flyers to people,oh grandma took one to,I wonder what it is about’’ Hyungwon closed his eyes imagining the whole scene in front of him wishing that the golden one hour won’t ever pass by,but like every day when clock showed one 1 pm Kihyun laid on his back and talked to Hyungwon until they fell asleep,looking forward to every day, it meant a day less till they recovery and a day where they could assure the voice they fell asleep to is still there,waiting for them.

‘’Tell me about our memories’’ Kihyun murmured with closed eyes

‘’Um..Remember the time when you tried to make us dinner?,I was coming early that day and the smart you wanted to bake without iol, you almost set everything on fire’’

‘’Hyung~!’’ Kihyun whined making Hyungwon laugh,just like the last time he saw him and how he wished he could see him smile now

‘’Okay,okay then remember when we went to another city with bicycles ….,we watched movie……, you got nacho sauce all over white shirt and whined…. ,then we ate a pizza at a park which you shared with ducks while I was taking pictures of you ,then…….while we were going back I got realllyyy jealous …it started to rain and you wanted to ride through rain……but you’r white shirt got wet and I swear….everyyy person that passed by us looked at you…..rain was cold but I was—‘’

‘’You mean I was hot’’ Kihyun cut him, liking how Hyungwon wanted to be the only one to see his body

‘’That was the problem….you were too hot’’ He wiggled his brows but couldn’t turn his head ,just hoped Kihyun wasn’t laughing his of

‘’Well I can agree on that,I am quite hot’’

‘’Yahh Yoo Kihyun you’r hot only for me~’’ Hyungwon said in a sing song bossy way

They talked for hours until they fell asleep.Hyungwon was woken up by Kihyun’s voice

‘’Ah Hyung wake up,there is a parade!’’

Hyungwon opened his eyes, and found himself helpless again ,not being able to move, in moments like this he wanted to hug Kihyun so much and remind himself on the warm body that fitted so well in his embrace, like the days where they would just cuddle in front of fireplace,fighting over one blanket,while lying on a cozy couch.

‘’O-oh I’m awake,what is it?’’

‘’There is a parade outside Hyung do you want me to enjoy it together?’’

‘’Of course!’’ Hyungwon chimed haply, for the time in hospital this was best wake up call,the only better one will be when doctor announces that they are fully healed.

Hyungwon couldn’t hear the band or anything but savored every detail that and word that came out of younger’s pink lips.

‘’Oh grandma came too hyung,there are many clowns ……some are giving balloons to children and some are dancing,.one is now dancing with grandma…she looks happy’’

They spent their time like that while Kihyun was describing the parade, and Hyungwon watching it with his mind’s eye,after parade finished Hyungwon was first to speak up

‘’Promise me that you won’t ever leave alone until I say so’’

‘’Hyung,,,what’s wrong?’’

‘’Nothing,…I just came to be more grateful for things we have and had,, but I’m most grateful for being able to see you’r smile,..so promise you won’t go anywhere’’

‘’Ahh Hyung,,,why would I leave my sunshine?,I have to be your wings’’ Kihyun said jokingly,loving how sincere Hyungwon’s words were as a tear escaped his eye

‘’Just like in you’r childhood when you looked out of windows, and every time you saw me smile, I’ll make sure you see everything there is to see and not imagine it like now’’

‘’Aww our Kihyuniee is so cool today, deal then you are buying me lunch when we get out’’

‘’Deal….I am a cool guy after all’’

‘’Whaa thick skinned indeed….’’

‘’You said it yourself….that I am cool,, and I’m sticking out my tongue right now,just so you know’’

‘’You brat!,,..just wait until I can walk’’

Days and weeks passed, Hyungwon was looking forward to their lunch when they get out, if he remembers well doctor said just few more weeks and he will be able to sit and walk slowly,which was great for change,every second seemed like decade in a bed and boring white celling.

Kihyun was getting checked and Hyungwon was hoping to hear good news like every time Kihyun was getting checked.When he came into room Hyungwon began with his questions.

‘’So..how did it go?’’

‘’Ahh hyung I told you I’m fine,everything is going just right, doctor said we’ll be out in no time,,’’

‘’I’m getting excided just thinking about it’’ Kihyun smiled

One warm afternoon, when nurse entered in their room she saw them sleeping peacefully and proceeded to wake them up so they could bathe,but when shaken Kihyun wouldn’t wake up and with her whispers that became louder Hyungwon woke up as well.

‘’W-what is wrong?’’ nurse looked at him with sorrowful eyes while pressing button above Kihyun’s head

‘’I-I’m sorry Hyungwon-ssi….H-he is dead’’

‘’You must have confused something,, don’t joke with me and check again!! He is just sleeping..’’

Nurse went to his bed and grabbed his hand as tears fell from her eyes

‘’I-I’m really sorry,,,He died peacefully’’ After she let go of Hyungwon’s hand two hospital attendants came and took Kihyun’s body while Hyungwon was screaming his lungs out ,not being able to move,,,to hear Kihyun voice one last time, to hug him and eat so awaited lunch together,…he was helpless in his body while Kihyun was leaving his side…in a infinite sleep.

‘’Bring him back!! He isn’t dead… You saw it wrong! He promised he won’t leave!! Kihyun isn’t a liar!!’’

He broke down in tears that fell over his already wet face, he felt like his life became meaningless…if Kihyun was gone,there wasn’t much reason why he was breathing,,for hours he cried and shouted,wanting to see Kihyun, to hear his voice or feel his warmth ,,,,he was waiting for a person to tell him everything was a joke but days and months passed and Kihyun never came back.

That day was day his all emotions died with younger boy,he didn’t smile or speak,like only thing he knew was to breath,then he remembered how Kihyun used to describe him beautiful view outside of the hospital,memories of younger was all he had and the unshed tears that fell when he though of him.

When nurse came to his room, he was more than pleased to ask her to move him to window , and she was more than happy to hear him speak , she left after making him comfortable.

Hyungwon slowly,painfuly propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside.He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside bed………It faced a blank wall,he couldn’t believe tears making his eyes glassy as he pressed the button ad called the nurse.

When she came into room he looked at her with eyes full of disappointment

‘’W-why is here a blank wall? Kihyun said there was a park with beautiful lake and children playing around’’ tears covered his face as his body fell on sheets

‘’Kihyun…. Didn’t want us to tell you this,,’’

‘’Tell what?’’ He looked at her, and as if she could see his shattered heart she sat next to him and started to explain

‘’When you first arrived,Kihyun was first to wake up and we told him about damage that was done to your and his body….there was much glass stuck in you’r eyes and Kihyun had a bleeding in frontal cortex,,, we told him we can save you ,,,but he won’t have much time,,, we told him that you won’t be able to see because the glass made huge damage and he insisted to give you his eyes before you wake up…’’ she started to sob and Hyungwon was breaking down slowly ,piece by piece ,every word crushed his reality and with every word he wanted to die and be with Kihyun ten times more.

‘’Kihyun was blind…he felt bad you couldn’t move to see even with eyes and probably did it to make you feel better…his wish was to not tell you but I think you deserve to know….I have to go now Hyungwon-sshi’’ She wiped her tears quickly ‘’Call me if you need anything’’ with that she left them room

Every memory he had crushed him slowly, he was shouting and trashing but in the end again there was nothing he could do for Kihyun…

‘’D-did you love me that much?,You really became my wings,what am I now?’’ he looked at the window

‘’You are just a liar Kihyun-ahh do you know? You told Hyung you were fine when you were dying…you bastard’’ his sleeves already wet from wiping tears ,he started to hit bed in frustration and wish for the pain to go away or for time to go faster so he forgets about the boy that gave him the best present he could wish for…..

The boy he so loved was gone and he couldn’t do nothing more than yarn for his boxy smile,warm hug and sweet voice.