You sat at the kitchen table with Yongguk staring back at you. It was so quiet. Even quieter than it usually has been the past few weeks. Something was bothering both of you. It was like a heavy battle of words fighting in the air and refusing to come down. You hated that this feeling was lingering over your relationship but you believed that it had to be done. The distance was painfully there. The I love yous went out the door and the coldness of a house settled in. You started to get up and take your mugs to the sink, but, as you grabbed his cup, he clutched your wrist. You looked back in shock and confusion. It didn't hurt, but it felt...desperate. He looked up at you with pain in you eyes. You could read the emotion in his eyes. You wriggled you wrist out of his grip and continued to go to the sink. You left the kitchen and went straight to the room. You started to close the door when you seen Yongguk coming down the hall behind you. He stood there and looked at you hopelessly. You knew what he wanted to talk about. He knew what you were avoiding.Someone was waiting on someone to break the ice. It wasn't a matter of when but who. You walked passed him to use the bathroom and he grabbed you again. This time with a less firmer grip and more of a sympathy grip. Your heart fell to the ground. It had to happen. You didn't know how long you were going to avoid it, but you knew it was going on for too long. You turned around to look at the tears welling up in his eyes, as yours followed. You can hear the clock in the background just clicking its life away. "What are we?" he asked with cracks in his voice. 

"I don't know" you whispered back in your cracked voice. 

"Y/N, we can't keep doing this. This is the most selfish thing we've ever done to each other."

"I know that." 

"Then what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Letting go, Yongguk.  It's going to hurt so much. How am I suppose to move on?"

"One day at a time. Y/N, we're only hurting each other by staying together."

"I know that too. I can't do this though. I just thought if I held on a little longer, it would make us fall in love again, but nothing happened. Nothing at all."

"Who the hell would we be fooling? Huh? What did you expect me to do? Put on a fake smile? Laugh at jokes that aren't funny? Say I love you when I didn't mean it? Baby, what did you want me to do?"

"I wanted you to at least try with me. At least let me live in my own fantasy."

"But it wouldn't have been fair to me. You knew this."

"Yea, I did. Yongguk, my worst fear is coming true."

"What is it?"

"I'm losing you. I've always hated that this day would one day happen. And it did." He stayed silent as you cried. He knew that it had to be done, but it wasn't meant to hurt you on purpose. Not at all. His intentions were to never break your heart, but somehow he did. He embraced you in a hug as he had a few tears fall too. He held your face in his hands as he looked you dead in your eyes. 

"Y/N. I'm so sorry that this is happening. I never meant to hurt you. I would rather die than see you in pain, but we can't live a lie anymore. That's not right for either one of us. I'd rather see you happy with someone else than be miserable with me. You deserve so much more than me. Me, I'm a nobody for you. Hell, I couldn't keep you happy. I want you to know that I will always love you. I will love you even if you marry someone else. I will love you even when you have children and grandchildren. Until we meet in heaven again, or on a train in Seoul, I will always seek you. Be happy." you were touched by those simple words. It carried weight. You finally felt yourself pulling back into reality. You wiped your tears, but kept him in your embrace, as he did the same. "Yongguk, I feel the same, just one thing." "What's that?" "Don't invite me to your wedding. And don't worry, I won't show up out of the blue. Besides, I'll be taking care of my children with some poor bastard." You and Yongguk chuckled at the little joke you cracked to air out the tension. He looked down at you as you looked up at him, he gave you the most beautiful smile you've ever seen on his face. "One final kiss?" he asked. "Why not? I'm going to miss you so much." "Me too." he said as he leaned in to kiss you. His lips felt just as warm and wet as it did the first time you kissed. *Flashback* It was a warm summer night after the amusement park. It suddenly started raining and you didn't bring your umbrella, thus, forcing you two to retreat under a veranda at a store. You spotted him staring at you, as he quickly turned his head away, you grabbed him and just planted one on him, but he didn't stop you. You two embraced each other as the summer rain painted the sidewalk. *Flashback ends* You finally opened your eyes to see that he was still looking at you after the kiss. "I'll move out." he suddenly said. You snapped out of your dream to realize that you were still hurting. 

"Okay. I'll help you pack."

"You don't have to."

"I feel like I need to. You have a lot of crap."

"Thank you. I think." he smirked. 

"You're welcome. So, where are you going tonight?"

"Ummm, I'm going to my parents for a little bit. Until I find somewhere new."

"Okay. Well, have a good night."

"Good night." He looked back for one last time before he walked out. For good. You felt yourself breaking apart. All those emotions you held back while he was there finally opened like a dam. You cried. You cried like a newborn baby. "What made you think I was okay?! Huh Yongguk?!" you yelled as you cried in the night. Not knowing he was doing the same at the end of the hall. "I'm so sorry, Y/N." he said as he contined to pour himself out. This pain will take time to heal, you both knew this, but it was for the better. That's all.