He had the intention of proposing.

 

After eight years of quite a successful relationship, Chanyeol took almost half of the money out of his bank account, dug through his ‘Use-In-The-Future’ piggybank that he had when he was nine, even worked two part-time jobs just to purchase the big, fat diamond rings that Lu Han kept staring at every single time they walk passed the small Pandora shop downtown.

 

Perhaps saying that he starved himself for a few weeks just to save a few bucks and showered with the lights turned off just to avoid paying expensive electrical bills may be considered as exaggeration. However, the bottom line is that Chanyeol wanted to settle down.

 

The seventeen-year-old him wouldn’t believe anyone’s words if they were to say that he would want to get married at the age of twenty six, with only a stable job as a tutor and occasional part-time jobs as either a waiter at a cheap diner or a cashier at a grocery store nearby.

 

Two months ago, Chanyeol brought Lu Han to a candlelight dinner by their favorite beach. He even managed to persuade his best friend, Kyungsoo into singing their favorite love songs (with the reward of an expensive brunch session at a hotel) as Chanyeol and Lu Han ate in silence.

 

His hands were sweating when he got out of his seat mid-eating; his legs were trembling when he kneeled in front of Lu Han who immediately stopped chewing on his salty steak.

 

Chanyeol’s voice shook when he proposed. He had promised to take a good care of Lu Han for the rest of his life, to stand by his side through thick and thin, to grow old together, Chanyeol promised to love Lu Han forever — only to have Lu Han interrupt him in the midst of his speech.

 

Lu Han’s voice was soft. It always has been soft, as he stared at Chanyeol with his gentle eyes when he whispered, “No.”

 

Kyungsoo sung the Stevie Wonder song with a strangled voice upon hearing Lu Han’s answer. Kyungsoo’s boyfriend accidentally strummed the wrong string of his guitar and Chanyeol felt like he was swallowing the sand. Lu Han kept on shaking his head; so harsh that he might have snapped his neck before he slammed his fork onto his plate, apologized, and ran off.

 

The candles were already blown out by the wind when Chanyeol felt his tears falling to his collars. Kyungsoo and Yifan gave him the most pitiful look, both pulling him into a tight hug as they rubbed his back before the couple began to dig into the leftover steak and wine.

 

“Really sorry about what happened with Lu Han, man,” Yifan said, voice muffled by the coleslaw in his mouth, “But we can’t let you waste the food.”

 

It’s safe to say that Chanyeol was at least satisfied when he punched Kris in the face, ignoring Kyungsoo’s horrified shriek.

 

 

 

 

Words spread faster than Yifan’s cheeks when he sees Kyungsoo in a suit, Chanyeol remembers what Jongin said when Chanyeol’s phone was blasting nonstop with frantic messages—some asking him why he broke up with the most beautiful boy in college, some asking for Lu Han’s number now that he was a free man. Of course people would be curious. They were college sweethearts after all.

 

People expected them to get married and have beautiful children. He had expected them to get married and have gorgeous children. Three boys and the youngest one would be a baby girl that they’d rescue from a Japanese orphanage during their trip to Osaka. Chanyeol had it all planned – only to be shot down by a short, painful answer.

 

No. How many times has that word repeated itself in his mind, over and over again, like a broken record?

 

I love you, but I can’t. How many times has Chanyeol read that particular message sent a few days after that night, pronouncing each syllable with pain dripping out of his mouth?

 

I’m sorry, Chanyeol. How many times has he dreamt of Lu Han’s teary-eyed expression, looking at him in pity as he backed away, slowly, and slowly, and slowly—out of Chanyeol’s life?

 

He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until his tears are caught on his crumpled sleeves. It’s been only two months since the big break up happened—and all Chanyeol did was… well. He was cooped up in his room most of the time, only getting out of it to brush his teeth and whip up some good old cheese ramen (and udon, but that’s specifically for sentimental, melancholic nights).

 

Everything in his house made him sad—from that barely functioning four year old coffee maker that Lu Han bought when they moved in together—to the ripped skinny jeans that looked very, very good on Lu Han, lying on the full laundry basket. Each piece of shop receipts pictured bits of sweet memories he had with his ex-boyfriend. Each Yuri!!! On Ice mugs left unwashed in the sink reminded him of hectic Monday mornings and tranquil Sunday nights.

 

His friends tend to check up on him from time to time; Kyungsoo would always come over, knocking on the front door so loud that Chanyeol’s ears could bleed. The tiny man would drag a whining Yifan along, slamming a plastic bowl of his infamous spaghetti and hangover soup—as if he had already known that Chanyeol had gotten drunk the night before, wailing over Lu Han and his broken heart.

 

While his “good” friend Jongin, despite being the biggest he has ever met, would always give him a call and a ten-minute pep talk on how he should stop moping over Lu Han and “start shagging with those pretty girls from college who still would want to bang even after all these years”.

 

“Most of them are married, man,” Chanyeol would say, groaning. “I may be a famous kid before, but now I’m just a pathetic guy who just got dumped by the love of his life.”

 

After the annoying call ends, Chanyeol would take a look of his pitch-black room, thumb scrolling down the contacts list to a particular name in the L section. His fingers would freeze when he sees Lu Han’s name glaring up at him—fingertips just aching to click on the call button.

 

He had so many questions. He still does. Lu Han left, without a word, without any explanations, without regrets, with nothing but a mere apology when he rejected Chanyeol’s proposal. How could you do this to me? The question remains unspoken, trapped on the tip of his tongue. And the question would remain trapped, forever probably.

 

How do I move on from all of this, he thinks in frustration. How does someone move on from an event so… so painful, so heart shattering, so devastating like this? He still could remember the taste of his own tears when they fell on his lip, sobbing so loud, clutching onto his chest because Lu Han had stepped on his heart so harshly that it was starting to hurt literally.

 

 

To: Lu Han♡

Why?

 

 

To: Lu Han♡

Don’t you think I deserve some kind of explanation?

 

 

To: Lu Han♡

I loved you. I still do.

 

 

To: Lu Han♡

Just… Why?

 

Those messages remain unsent, all stacked up in his draft box but he just couldn’t find the courage to click send. What would Lu Han answer? What if his answer is not the reply that Chanyeol wants to hear? What if his answer would break Chanyeol’s heart even more? He doesn’t want the same event to repeat itself. He prefers to cower away and hide rather than facing inevitable confrontation.

 

To: Do Kyungsoo, Fanfan, KJI

It hurts so much.

 

 

He knew that none of them would read his message or reply – his friends have better things to do. Kyungsoo would most probably be at work, an accountant at a well-known company. Yifan would be at his cooking class that his boyfriend forced him to join because Yifan almost burnt the house down when he tried to make dinner for two.

 

Meanwhile, Jongin would be… Where would Jongin be? He could be sunbathing somewhere in Jeju or living off his parents’ money while watching make up tutorials in his private jet—who knows.

 

Chanyeol figures that he’s the only one without a stable job, a significant other and a private jet. At least with Lu Han, he’s a simple man who teaches English literature for a living and an owner to a half-dead cactus. Without Lu Han, he’s just a dumb tutor with a cactus. The thought of his dark future doesn’t seem comfortable settling in his guts.

 

 

From: Fanfan

Awwww little baby… you should make a list of things you want to do without Lu Han.

 

From: Chanyeol

What list? I want to do everything with Lu Han.

I want to travel with him. I want to write poems for him. I want to marry him.

 

From: Fanfan

No, dude, like, things you want to do but Lu Han won’t allow you to do.

Like for example, I want to be able to run with my dog in the living room. But Kyungsoo won’t let me do it.

You get me right? Now that Lu Han’s gone, you can do whatever you want to do.

 

From: Chanyeol

…

 

From: Fanfan

Am I the only one who wants to run with my pet dog?

 

From: Chanyeol

Yes, Yifan. Yes you are.

 

From: Fanfan

Well whatever, as long as you get my point.

 

From: Fanfan

I gotta go, the chef’s here. I can’t wait for you guys to taste my spicy chicken. I seasoned it with black pepper and ketchup. Woooh

 

Chanyeol grimaces.

 

From: Chanyeol

I’ll pass.

 

From: Fanfan

BONE APPLE BEAF

 

Placing his phone (an old iPhone 4s, with a cracked screen and a ruined volume button) on the coffee table, Chanyeol takes a good look at the to-do list stuck onto their—his refrigerator.

 

To-do list:

Go grocery shopping: more cheese ramen and some broccoli just to prove to Kyungsoo that you’ve been eating healthily Sell the engagement rings reconsider this matter, Park Steal Jongin’s private jet Move on (but how?) Buy more club soda Some garlic bread sounds nice

 

“Huh,” He shrugs, jutting out his bottom lip in consideration. “Garlic bread does sound nice.”

 

Chanyeol takes the last can of club soda in the fridge along with his half-eaten cheeseburger he ate yesterday and tosses the food onto the dining table, gel pen in his mouth and recycled papers in his hands.

 

To-do list:

Go grocery shopping: more cheese ramen and broccoli just to prove to Kyungsoo that you’ve been eating healthily Sell the engagement rings reconsider this matter, Park Steal Jongin’s private jet Move on (but how?) Buy more club soda Some garlic bread sounds nice Make a new list (what can I do without Lu Han?)

 

Chanyeol chews on the sour pickles and lettuce slowly, pen gripped tightly in his hand as he thinks. It took him eight hours to fall in love. It took him eight years of dating Lu Han to finally propose. It would probably take him eight more years to fall out of love.

 

What is the thing that he secretly craves to do, with or without Lu Han? Snow skiing? They went skiing last year—it ended with Chanyeol getting a fractured leg and Lu Han having a bad fever. Rescue a dog? He’s allergic in the first place. Lu Han’s cat was so ing adorable; no other pup can charm him like the stupid cat did.

 

Eight Things I Can Do Without You:

    1.

 

 His mind is empty, his eyes blank.

 

Eight Things I Can Do Without You:

Nothing.

 

 

 

—

 

 

It started with just one single email he received last Tuesday.

 

TO: SN UNIVERSITY STUDENTS – BATCH ‘09

FROM: secretskeets@snmail

Hello, fellow students of Seoul National University,

Despite our graduation being years ago, I have made a decision to continue my “career” as the infamous journalist, Secretive Skeeter.

Why, you ask? Because my most favorite, most adored power couple of batch 1992 have gone their separate ways after eight years of loving.

Park Chanyeol and Lu Han have broken up.

I will be keeping all of you updated, just like I have always done all those years ago. I’m sure that all of you have missed me.

Wishing you all the best,

Skeeter.

 

Ah, Secretive Skeeter. He still remembers the sly journalist, an exact (however, anonymous) replica of Rita Skeeter; the obnoxious reporter from Harry Potter—creating lies and rumors to stir the burning anger of a person who’s accused of such terrible news. Skeeter has always been particularly fond of the great power couple, Park and Lu. Always trying to somehow bring them down and break them up.

 

“I guess Skeeter’s gotten what they wanted,” Baekhyun sighs as he rereads the email he had received. It’s awful, really – for someone to be joyful over one’s failed relationship. Though, Baekhyun won’t admit the fact that his heart is beating rather quickly either.

 

Eight years.

 

“Did you just say Skeeter?” His former seatmate, Minseok pops his head into Baekhyun’s office, eyebrow raised in curiosity. “The Secretive Skeeter?”

 

Baekhyun politely nods at the startled client standing behind Minseok, who’s apparently a very professional lawyer in the office, somewhat a dumb clown on the streets.

 

“Yeah,” He says, “Secretive Skeeter sent an email to all of us.”

 

“Oh, I blocked the son of a after they accused me of Jongdae off in Professor Cho’s class.” Minseok shrugs, clutching onto his thick file, oblivious of the wide-eyed woman still standing behind him. “Anyway, what did Skeeter say?”

 

Baekhyun clears his throat. “Um, apparently, Park Chanyeol and Lu Han broke up.”

 

Minseok hums in acknowledgement before he gasps softly, pointing his index finger towards the flustered lawyer sitting in his office. “Wait a minute. Isn’t Park Chanyeol—”

 

“Yes,” Baekhyun interrupts, stopping the man from continuing. “Yes, he is.”

 

Eight years of an unrequited love.

 

“Well, well, well…” His friend sing-songs, wiggling his eyebrows as Baekhyun rereads Skeeter’s email over and over again. “Looks like  your chance is finally here, Byun.”

 

Eight. ing. Years.

 

 

TO: secretskeets@snmail

FROM: notmyrodrick2017@snmail

Hi, Skeeter.

I just want to reconfirm whether the wreck of Park & Lu news is true or just a lie.

 

Sincerely,

A genuinely curious classmate from batch ‘09.

 

 

 

TO: notmyrodrick017@snmail

FROM: secretskeets@snmail

Hello, notmyrodrick.

And why would it be a lie? Skeeter never lies.

If you’re still in disbelief, check @Lu_Han90 on Instagram. His recent post was about him finally having the freedom he had craved for since eight years ago.

A mean one – that wicked Lu.

 

Wishing you all the best,

Skeeter.

 

 

Baekhyun is too swift to grab his phone by the bed stand, searching the username that was stated in Skeeter’s email, only to be disappointed when he clicks on a private profile.

 

“It’d be weird if I suddenly send a follow request…” Baekhyun bites on his lips, thumb hovering above the tempting ‘follow’ button. Instead, he quits the application and calls his best friend, who picks up the call with a muffled groan.

 

“—what do you want, Byun?” comes the annoyed voice. Baekhyun checks the clock hanging on the wall of his bed room. Oh. Of course the man would be annoyed. It’s four in the morning.

 

“Are you following Lu Han on Instagram?” He asks, wincing when Minseok shouts from the other line.

 

“Are you ing kidding me? You called me at four in the morning just to ask me that—no, Jongdae, don’t tell me to calm down—listen here, Byun, we have to go to work in two hours and I need some sleep.”

 

“I know, I know… but this is important.” Baekhyun pleads, almost whines. “Come on, could you send a screenshot of Lu Han’s Instagram profile and his most recent post, please?”

 

“No, you creep. I’m hanging up.”

 

“You’re not a good friend. I’m going to tell Skeeter that you did Jongdae off in Professor Cho’s class, you .”

 

“ you and your unborn children, Byun.”

 

The man on the other line hangs up after that, and Baekhyun visibly slumps in defeat.

 

 

“So,” His co-worker slams a paper cup of coffee (sweetened double-shot espresso, fresh from the brand new high-tech vending machine that their company placed in the pantry), and Baekhyun flinches in response when he sees Minseok getting too close to his comfort zone. “Care to tell me why the hell did you want to stalk pretty Lu’s Instagram profile at four in the morning?”

 

Baekhyun clears his throat, ready to defend himself. “Incorrect. I don’t want to stalk his Instagram profile. I just wanted to check up on him, see how he’s doing. You know how a man becomes after he gets out of a relationship. Poor guy must be devastated.”

 

“You’re rambling,” Another (rather annoying) co-worker, Yixing interrupts their tiny conversation when he enters the pantry, rubbing his eyes frantically as he yawns wide. “G’ morning, guys.”

 

Baekhyun pauses before he glances at his watch on his left wrist. “…It’s 12.45 P.M.”

 

 “Exactly,” Yixing says, standing on his tip toes to grab onto the packets of creamers in the cabinet. “It’s too early for me to go to work, especially one that involves bratty clients.”

 

“Yeah, totally,” Minseok waves a hand to dismiss their sudden interruption, towering over them. “Anyway, Byun, I know the real reason why you wanted to stalk pretty Lu on Instagram.”

 

Yixing’s ears visibly perk up before he grabs a mug of coffee and joins them on the round table. “Pretty Lu?”

 

“It’s a dude, Xing, get your heteroual, casanova hands off this table.” Minseok rolls his eyes at the constant distraction. “Basically, Baekhyun is happy over someone’s major break up.”

 

“Geez, B,” Yixing grimaces. “Never knew you’re one to stoop that low.”

 

“What the—you used to sleep with your divorced clients, Yixing!” Baekhyun exclaims—exasperated at the double attacks he’s getting from his colleagues. He knew he should have accepted that job offer at the other law firm just a few blocks away.

 

His co-worker finally raises both hands in defeat before he walks out of the pantry with a mug of coffee in his hand, face still unwashed.

 

“So, you think you got a chance?” Minseok asks once he’s sure that no one else is going to simply barge in and interrupt them once again.

 

“What chance?”

 

“Screwing Park Chanyeol and having children with him.”

 

“What—I—I do not want to screw him and have children with him.” Baekhyun hisses, grabby hands attacking Minseok’s face to shut him up. “It’s been years, Min. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember me anymore. We had, like, just a few minor classes together, that’s all.”

 

“But you still like him, and you’re happy that he finally broke up with Lu Han.” Minseok deadpans, as if he’s stating the obvious. “Oh, speaking of pretty Lu, he’s totally not upset about the break up. In fact, I do follow his Instagram account.”

 

How can that man not be sad about a break up after eight years of dating? Baekhyun can’t even last a few months in a relationship before he breaks up with them or get dumped in the middle of the street—and it results in him crying under the blankets of his room even if the relationship isn’t that special to him. How could someone not feel sad after breaking up with their significant other?

 

“Check this out,” Minseok says as he takes his phone out of his pocket, scrolling over random pictures on his Instagram home section before he stumbles onto a photo of two men dressed in matching coats, standing in front of what seems to be the Eiffel Tower. “Not even a few days after the big break up and he got himself a new man.”

 

Baekhyun practically yanks the phone away from its owner as he gapes when he stares at the photo. Lu Han has his eyes closed as he smiled while the other guy was kissing his cheek. It baffles him how 340 people would like that picture, even when Lu Han had included a fairly insensitive caption on the photo.

 

“Apparently, they’re going on a trip all over Europe.” Minseok shrugs, clicking on @Lu_Han90’s profile to show him a multiple pictures of Lu Han having fun at luxurious places, accompanied by a man who has his face hidden (either he was kissing Lu Han’s hair or hiding his face in the crook of Lu Han’s neck). “That lucky bastard.”

 

“Wow.” Is the only thing Baekhyun says; as always, Lu Han would always render him speechless. “Lu Han left Park Chanyeol for a very young-looking sugar daddy?”

 

“Apparently and unfortunately, yes,” Minseok says before he stuffs his phone back into his pocket and throws his paper cup into the trashcan nearby. “I better get back to work. Don’t dwell too much on this matter, Byun.”

 

“I won’t,” Baekhyun chuckles nervously, adjusting his tie that suddenly seems too tight around his neck. “See you around.”

 

As he walks back to his office, Baekhyun couldn’t keep the image of Lu Han being too happy out of his mind. It’s rather creepy for him to think about someone’s destroyed relationship so seriously like this, but then again, it’s rather not.

 

Eight years ago, Baekhyun didn’t back away from the lovebirds for no reason. Sure, he had a crush on Park Chanyeol—the tall, lanky and absolutely handsome Literature student who took minor classes with him—but he also knew that he wouldn’t do anything to ruin Chanyeol and Lu Han’s relationship.

 

Bitterly, he thinks that if he did ruin their relationship eight years ago, it would have been easy. He would have saved Chanyeol from a grand heartbreak, too. That is, if Chanyeol is going through one. For all he knows, both parties were fairly ecstatic about the break up.

 

But Baekhyun clearly remembers how much Chanyeol had loved Lu Han. The college sweethearts practically had heart signs coming out of their eyes when they stared at each other in their own field of undying love.

 

And Baekhyun… was just an irrelevant viewer sitting on the bleachers amongst other hopelessly in love students.

 

“But he’s single now,” He tries to reason with himself, rocking himself on the chair of his office. “And I’m single…”

 

Abandoning his paper works, Baekhyun whips out his phone (a sleek rose gold iPhone 7+, with a slightly cracked tempered glass) and crosses his legs on the table. He taps his slender fingers on his chin as he scrolls down a list of numerous and useless numbers in his contacts, thumb pausing at a familiar name under the group chat ‘SN UNI’.

 

“Wu Yifan,” he murmurs to himself. “Of course…”

 

He still remembers Wu Yifan, his tutee back in university, who’s too tall to be two years younger than him and too dumb to be a law student. They didn’t talk much during the tutoring sessions, given the fact that Baekhyun wasn’t much of a talker—but he knew about Yifan’s cliques and his flings. Yifan did most of the talking and Baekhyun did his part by acting like he wasn’t paying attention.

 

Baekhyun can’t recall much, except for the fact that Yifan had dropped out of law school and went back to square one. He was also best friends with Park Chanyeol. Judging by the fact that Yifan was the reason why Baekhyun sacrificed his precious time to tutor him, it isn’t really that wrong to text him a simple hello, right…?

 

“Mr. Byun?”

 

A knock comes from a man standing behind the slightly gaping door, shaking Baekhyun from his trance. He almost throws his phone away when his boss comes into view, cladded in a stained blue shirt and suspenders.

 

“Yes?” He gathers his paperwork into one spot on the middle of the table. “Good afternoon, Mr. Kwon.”

 

The bald man simply nods, gesturing him towards the anxious-looking couple standing behind him and his glorious potbelly. “Mr. and Mrs. Do, I’d like you to meet Byun Baekhyun. He’s one of our best lawyers in this company.”

 

Baekhyun puts on his professional smile, bowing towards the couple with much respect. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Do.”

 

The older lawyer only sends him a knowing look before he invites the married couple into Baekhyun’s office, bowing one last time before he shuts the door.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too.” The middle-aged man shakes his hand, offering him a kind smile before he introduces himself. “My name is Do Youngho. This is my wife, Do Soojin.”

 

“Soon to be former wife,” The woman corrects him, swatting at his wrinkly hand. “We’re here for a divorce, and we’re rather excited about it.”

 

“…Ah, I see.” Baekhyun awkwardly replies. “Please, do take a seat.”

 

Mr. Do takes a quick look at the clock by the wall before he speaks. “I’m actually in a hurry, so it’ll be fantastic if you could hand us the divorce papers and allow us to sign them so we could finish this as fast as we can.”

 

The woman beside him, surprisingly, nods with great enthusiasm.

 

“I’m afraid that it wouldn’t be that easy, Mr. Do.” Baekhyun furrows his brows. “We would have to discuss your financial status and the equal distribution of property and family money.”

 

“Easy. I get all the money,” The woman whistles, blowing her fingernails. “This man here gets all the flirty secretaries he wants.” 

 

Baekhyun gulps.

 

“Behave, Soojin.” The older man grunts. “I suppose we’d have to discuss that matter professionally, yes…”

 

“I’m also supposed to be aware if there’s any son of daughter involved.” He replies, arranging the newly printed divorce papers. He could almost swear that both middle-aged man and woman were eyeing the divorce papers with hawk eyes.

 

“Yes, we have a son.” The woman says with adoration obvious in her voice. “His name is Do Kyungsoo.”

 

The young lawyer nods, oblivious. “All right, then.”

 

 

 

—

 

 

Eight Things I Can Do Without You:

Nothing. Watch all the chick-flick movies that he hates which I secretly love and delete all the action movies that he loves which I secretly hate.

 

 

—

 

 

 

Crumpled tissues are scattered all over the precious floor of his apartment. Yifan sighs as he gathers the used tissues with a broomstick that no one really uses and sweeps away, ignoring the other two grown men wailing in his living room. He sighs, “Seriously, guys…”

 

Chanyeol doesn’t acknowledge Yifan’s constant pleading for him to stop crying, instead, the taller man purposely blows his nose onto the piece of tissue to piss Yifan off even more. The younger of the two grumbles even louder than he did two hours ago when Chanyeol came over uninvited.

 

“Stop crying already. Your slice of pizza is all… drenched.” He scrunches his nose, scooting further away from Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol sniffles. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. I get why you’re still sad, but today’s not a good day, man.” He shakes his head, pointing towards the other weeping man by the corner of the sofa. “Kyungsoo went through a pretty bad day today.”

 

Chanyeol leans closer to him to whisper, eyes bloodshot and sunken but filled with curiosity nonetheless. “What happened to him?”

 

“My parents are getting a divorce.” Kyungsoo suddenly says, wrapping his sturdy arms around his bent knees. “It’s not such a big deal—but I’m still sad.”

 

“Hey,” Yifan abandons his heartbroken friend as he cradles his boyfriend’s face in his hands, placing a swift kiss on his cupid’s bow. “Of course it’s a big deal. I know it’s hard to accept the fact that they’re getting a divorce, babe.”

 

“What about me?” Chanyeol’s whining could be heard from the kitchen.

 

“Dude, I’m trying to comfort the love of my life over here. Just grab a can of beer and another slice of pizza.”

 

Kyungsoo chuckles softly as Yifan takes half a second to stare at the way his eyes shimmer. “It’s okay, Yifan. I’m okay.”

 

“How did it happen, anyway?” Chanyeol interrupts once again, making himself comfortable by squeezing his large body in between the two lovers sitting on the couch who grunts in annoyance at the same time. “What made your parents decide to get a divorce?”

 

“I don’t know, to be honest,” Kyungsoo sighs, resting his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder. It’s rather saddening to watch his boyfriend and his best friend being so miserable — Yifan feels even tier not knowing what to do and how to fix things.

 

“Last year, my mom found out that my dad had an affair with someone,” Kyungsoo shrugs, trying hard to seem nonchalant, but Yifan’s gaze would always pierce through his lies. “Then, she went all berserk and spent all his money by buying cars and houses just to piss him off.”

 

Chanyeol nods understandingly upon listening to his words and the three men fall into a pit of excruciating silence. Yifan and his boyfriend glance at each other; they excuse themselves to freshen up before going out to dinner as planned. The youngest of three watches his post-break-up best friend starting at the hanging picture of Kyungsoo, Yifan, Chanyeol and Lu Han together during the last day of college.

 

He makes a note in his head to cut Lu Han out of the photo before he enters the bedroom.

 

“Honey,” Kyungsoo starts once they lock the shared bedroom door. His voice soft and pleading – Yifan recognizes that particular voice. He’s trying to coax him into a mutual agreement that Yifan would probably say no to. “I think we should tell him.”

 

Yifan’s eyes widen slightly. “Tell him? No, we can’t! He’ll hate himself, Soo.”

 “But he also deserves to know…” Kyungsoo brings both his palms to his face, groaning. “God, I feel so miserable. We are his worst best friends.”

 

“Baby, we’re his only best friends.”

 

“You’re not helping.”

 

“Sorry,” He apologizes, and smiles. “But can we just not drop the bomb on him? He’s still going through a rough patch at the moment. Let’s not worsen the situation.”

 

Yifan grabs the lemony yellow scarf draped over the dresser and wraps it around his boyfriend’s neck loosely before he gives the man an Eskimo kiss. Kyungsoo cowers away a little with a blush before he unlocks the door and rushes out to accompany their best friend.

 

They ended up going to the mall rather than going to their favorite diner just because Chanyeol “had important stuff to buy”. Yifan knew he should have checked the lanky man’s to-buy list first (since Chanyeol has lists for literally everything). Apparently, there weren’t any ‘stuff’ to buy—and now; Yifan and Kyungsoo are stuck in Forever 21 while Chanyeol walks over to the fitting room.

 

“Dude, come on, my stomach is literally grumbling in anger right now….” Kyungsoo stomps his feet on the marbled floor when Yifan is too busy cackling as he watches Chanyeol making a fool of himself by trying on the denim jacket with “KEEP CALM AND EAT PIZZAS” written on the back.

 

“Wait, I’m just gonna buy a few things.” Chanyeol brushes them away as he picks out different colors of ripped skinny jeans. “Go ahead and wait at the restaurant if you don’t have anything to buy. I feel like eating Chinese food today.”

 

“You feel like eating Chinese food every day,” Yifan’s boyfriend mutters under his breath, dragging Yifan by the elbow as they walk out of the clothing store.

 

Kyungsoo isn’t really a fan of Chinese food. The fact that most of the meals taste like Lu Han’s homemade food that he used to make every Sunday night leaves a bitter taste on Kyungsoo’s tongue. He figures that it’s time to address the big elephant in the room—or in this case, the Chinese restaurant.

 

“We have to help him.” Yifan says with mouth full rice. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice the fact that he’s buying every single thing that Lu Han used to own. The ripped skinny jeans—the ‘pizza’ jacket! God knows how much I wanted to burn Lu Han’s stupid jacket.”

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t have the chance to speak. The moment he intends to respond, Chanyeol enters the restaurant with shopping bags heavy in his hands and a pained smile plastered on his face. Kyungsoo opts on shoving his face with the stir-fried noodles, giving Yifan an obvious clue that he wants nothing to do with Chanyeol’s sudden shopping tendencies.

 

Yifan sighs. “Chanyeol, what are those?”

 

Chanyeol grins excitedly as he rummages through the plastic bags, showcasing the useless and expensive items that he recently bought. Kyungsoo is quick to stop him from fumbling any further when he digs his hand in one of the shopping bags and pulls out what seems to be a—

 

“Why the hell did you buy lingerie?” Kyungsoo shrieks as he observes the leopard-printed lingerie while Yifan raises his brow in curiosity. “Chanyeol, you’re gay.”

 

“So? I could’ve gotten it for myself to wear on occasional lonely nights, you know.” Chanyeol scoffs, defending himself.

 

“Yeah right, I bet you just purchased everything that was on sale.” Kyungsoo sticks his tongue out like a kid, both grown up men turning away to avoid facing each other after their sudden argument.

 

“Soo, I’ll be keeping this for our occasional passionate nights.” Yifan takes the lingerie away from his boyfriend, shoving it in the pocket of his long coat. “And Chanyeol, we need to talk.”

 

The taller man groans, seeming to know what’s about to begin. “Why are you guys so against me buying lingerie for myself?”

 

“This isn’t about the lingerie,” Yifan furrows his brows, “This is about Lu Han.”

 

Chanyeol visibly flinches then blinks, perhaps realizing how the playful argument suddenly turns into something a little more sensitive.

 

“Yeol, you need to stop mourning over him. We hate seeing you binge eating everything out of our fridge and buying too many lingerie that you would most probably never even use.” Kyungsoo reaches out to hold his friend’s hand. “It’s time for you to move on now, don’t you think?”

 

Yifan nods. Chanyeol’s jaw locks.

 

“Easy for you two lovebirds to say,” Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “Do you honestly think I don’t want to move on? I’d kill to get Lu Han out of my mind. But I can’t. Get it? I can’t…”

 

“You can, if you just try.” Yifan tries to assure him, but Chanyeol only pushes Kyungsoo’s hands away.

 

Understanding his frustration, Kyungsoo doesn’t take his actions to the heart. Instead, he smiles. “You could start by meeting new people and going on dates.”

 

It takes the taller man a few minutes to think of the suggestion before he nods in defeat. “Okay.”

 

Kyungsoo bounces in his seat with excitement, clapping his hands. He doesn’t even bother to wipe the soy milk stains on his lips. Yifan couldn’t help picturing his boyfriend in Chanyeol’s recently purchased lingerie.

 

 

 

—

 

 

Eight Things I Can Do Without You:

 1. Nothing.

1. Watch all the chick-flick movies that he hates which I secretly love and delete all the action movies that he loves which I secretly hate.

     2. Go on blind dates.

 

 

—

 

 

 

His first date comes in a form of a tall man in red basket ball shorts, clean cut hair and sweaty palms. Chanyeol arrived at the café two hours earlier than he planned to and by the time his date came, he’s already finishing his third cup of smoothie. His date—Sehun—isn’t much of a talker. Neither is Chanyeol. They sit in silence for the first twenty minutes, before Sehun chooses to speak up.

 

“We went to college together, you know.” The man says, jaw sharp and brows thick. “I bet you don’t remember me. I took Dentistry.”

 

Chanyeol stops fidgeting in his seat, awkwardness suddenly thrown out of the window. “Wait, really? No wonder you look so familiar.”

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty honored that I got to be your first blind date though.” Sehun shrugs with a smug smile. The basketball shorts make him look like a tool, not to mention the fact that he’s wearing a bandana. “There were a lot of ladies in there tryna get some, you know.”

 

Chanyeol pauses in confusion. “What?”

 

“The SN UNI chat room,” Sehun replies, shrugging so many times that Chanyeol thinks his shoulders are going to fall off. “That Wu Yifan guy was promoting you in the chat room, saying that you were looking for a blind date. He prioritized men, though. That’s why he chose me to be your first date.”

 

Chanyeol leans back in his seat, baffled and even more confused. “…What?”

 

The taller of the two stares at him as if he’s an idiot before he takes his phone out of his shorts. He then slides the phone across the round table. “Take a look.”

 

 

kris_fanfan: LIVING A SINGLE LIFE? WORRIED THAT YOU MIGHT DIE BEING A ? WORRY NO MORE! PARK CHANYEOL IS NOW ALSO SINGLE AND LOOKING FOR A BLIND DATE! ANYONE INTERESTED?

 

 

“That son of a …” Chanyeol grits his teeth, scrolling through replies of some people asking for Chanyeol’s number. Sehun laughs a little, too quiet for the crowded café to hear, but loud enough for the star-struck waitresses to stare in awe.

 

“I don’t know what’s sadder, to be honest; Yifan promoting you online or Lu Han being a member of the chat room.” Sehun snorts and Chanyeol could almost feel the strawberry smoothie shooting up to his nostrils when he choked.

 

“Lu Han is in that chat room?!”

 

“Yeah, but he ain’t that active.” The man sitting in front of him winks. “Don’t worry.”

 

Chanyeol literally slams his head on the table, startling Sehun and a few customers before they continue on with their conversations. He groans aloud, embarrassment and betrayal punching him in the face at once. Yifan has always been a jackass, so why did Chanyeol even make the decision to trust him?

 

Of course he’s going to pull something ridiculous when he told Chanyeol not to worry and that he “knew a lot of people who are interested”. And of course Chanyeol is a total idiot to be falling for his words.

 

“I know you mean well, but I’m not ready to date anyone for now.” Chanyeol wipes his palm on his face. The headache and familiar pounding on the left side of his head is definitely creeping back to him. “Don’t trust anything that Yifan says.”

 

“That’s okay, man. I’m just here because Yifan told me you’re loaded and I need a sugar daddy who would pay my bills.”

 

“Yifan lied. I can barely pa