A small child, crouching by a river. In his hand, a bouqet of flowers, which he uses his small hand to tear of the stems and putting the flowers into the water, watching them getting caught by the stream and flowing away. He likes to watch the water, listening to the soft sounds of it rushing away. And he likes the colours of the yellow flowers against the blue water.

Small for his age, the boy is frail, with raven black hair, and sunkissed skin. His eyes are big and dark, watching with childish amusement at the flowers in the water. 

Leaning closer, he feels his foot slip and he falls into the water. Not knowing how to swim, he panics, trashing and gasping for air, only getting water in his lungs. He can feel it burn down his throat, only making him move more as he tries to reach the surface. He tries to scream, but the water swallows his voice. Thinking he's going to die, he looks up at the sky, begging for someone to find him. As he feels himself slowly slipping away, his tears fall, mixing with the water, before everything turns to black.

When he wakes up, he coughs up water and sits up in confusion, looking around frantically for the person that saved him. The only thing he finds is a small flowercrown made from the flowers he had played with before. He takes it shakily in his hand thanking the guardian angel that had saved his life.

 

---

 

15 years later, Jongin still remembers that accident. He remembers the feeling of drowning, of almost dying, and also the flowercrown. He had kept it as long as it had lasted, feeling sad when it had withered. His mom had been so scared when he came home that day, wondering what had happened. Jongin had lied and said he had fell in but that it had been in the shallow water, and he had just climbed out afterwards. She had scolded him for playing by the river, and then kissed his forehead and ordered him to go change before he caught a cold. It would have been wiser to actually tell her the truth, than to keep such an important thing to himself. Over the years the memory had sticked to him, and when things got bad, Jongin often began to think about that time. Wondering if it would have been better if he had just died that day.

15 years later, and Jongin is now a 20 year old student. He's a major in dance, and lives with his mother near the campus. Even though it's been so long and he's older now, Jongin still hates water. He can drink it and shower in it, that's fine, and important when he's dancing. But when his friends ask him to join them at the beach to swim, he always denies. He's never told any of them why he hates water, because he believes they would just for it. 

He still has no idea who saved him that day, and though his 5 year old self had silently thanked a guardian angel, 20 year old Jongin doesn't really believe in that. So much has happened since that accident, withering Jongin's belief in anything celestial that would be watching him and protecting him. In that case they're doing a terrible job. All from his father's alcohol problem, to his parents divorce, his mother's breakdown, plenty of ty step-"father's", and Jongin's grades dropping after the divorce. He had a really tough time back then, and luckily he got out of it without any permantent scars, both physical and mentally.

"Jongin?" Said boy looks up from the spot on the floor he had been forcefully staring at in his thoughts, glancing up at his dance teacher that's looking at him with a worried but slightly annoyed frown. "You okay?" The man asks, not completely oblivious to Jongin's habit of spacing out.

"Yeah, sorry." Jongin mumbles and bows his head. His teacher shakes his head before ordering everyone to start from the top. Jongin pushes all the thoughts away as he focuses on following the moves and the rythm of the music. 

Dance is his life. When he dances he can zone out from everything, hearing only the music and only feeling the way his body moves to the beat. It's his safe place, where he can finally relax. After his parents divorced when Jongin was younger, he begged his mother to sign him up for classes, and when she finally did, he danced at every oppurtunity he got. It was his way of getting away from his father, from his mother crying at night, from men in his mother's life that thought they knew better, from the hell that was school.

His dance teacher at that time would tell him he had potential, and that he should continue dancing after school, and Jongin did everything he could to do just that. When he finally got into university, he felt happy for once. 

"Alright everyone, let's call it a day." His teacher says as everyone stops in the final pose. When the music fades out, Jongin can hear the students groan and sigh, happy the class is over and they can finally go home. Jongin lets out a tired sigh as he bends down to begin stretching. He can feel the ache in his muscles as he reaches for his toes. His teacher normally lets him stay in the room after everyone has left in case he wants to practice more or if he just wants to stretch and relax. As the teacher asks him to lock up before he leaves, Jongin falls to the ground with a huff, letting the cold floor cool down his sweaty body. He gasps for air as his chest moves up and down, staring blankly up at the ceiling. His week has been hectic, with exams coming up in only two months, his head is spinning and his body is aching. His teachers are asking him to relax and focus on the most important parts, worried he might overwork himself considering the time he spends in the dancerooms. It's not uncommon for Jongin to dance until he sprains something or injures his back, and the teachers know that, meaning they keep an eye on him.

He his head to the side, seeing his bag with his water bottle sitting on top. He lazily reaches his hand out, knowing it's too far away and he has to get up to get it, but he's too tired. His hand falls flat on the floor again as he puffs out his cheeks with a pout. 

The door to the danceroom opens, and Jongin turns his head to see who it is. "Hey Jongin, what's up?" One of his best friends, Yixing asks as he walks over and sits down beside him, flinging his bag into the corner of the room. 

"Nothing, just trying to catch my breath. You?" Jongin responds, looking back up at the ceiling.

"Wanted to get some practice in before we're heading out." He says, earning a blank stare from the other boy. "You know, the party we're going to tonight?" Yixing continues, earning just another blank stare, making Yixing sigh. "God and they say I'm slow. Baekhyun's hosting a party at his house, you dork, you said you would come, come on." He whines, pushing lightly at Jongin's shoulder. Jongin finally recalls his other bestfriend saying he was gonna have a party. Jongin had only said he would think about it. He was really not the party type, though his friends never believed him because he liked to dance. What they didn't understand was that Jongin loved dancing, just not the grinding and jumping they did at parties. And the alcohol, Jongin thought it was just a way for people to forget their problems, a bad way of doing it as well. His friends also didn't know of Jongin's past with people drinking too much. 

"I don't know, Yixing." Jongin says with a sigh. "I've got a lot of homework I've got to do, and my mom wants me to help out with dinner and stuff." He says, earning a face from the other.

"Bull, you have the same classes at me and I know we don't have to do jack , and your mom would be ecstatic if she knew you were going to a party for once. Come on, just this time, you never join us." Yixing whines more, trying to give Jongin puppy eyes and batting his eyelashes. 

"I'll think about it." Jongin says, and Yixing can see that that is all he will get out of him right now, so he sighs once more and nods. 

"Fine, you wanna join me or are you heading home?" Yixing asks as he stands up and pulls off his jacket. 

"Think I'm gonna head home, I'll see you later. Remember to lock up." Jongin says as he stands up and grabs his bag, taking a swig from the water bottle. 

"I know. I'll see you at the party." Yixing says and waves as Jongin closes the door.

 

---

 

Jongin's mother is one of the sweetest people on this earth. After the divorce she spent all her time trying to help Jongin with his dancing, buying him jazz shoes and dancing outifts. She got a job so she could keep paying for his classes, and she did everything so Jongin could get into the university he wanted. He loved her more than anything, and now when he could lessen her worktime by getting a job himself, he did so gladly. He's got a part time job at a restaurant, and works as much as he's allowed to make sure his mother isn't working overtime. 

He shuffles out of his shoes as he gets back home, sneaking into the kitchen where he knows his mother will be, making dinner. He carefully tip toes up to her. 

"You're gonna have to be sneakier if you want to scare me, Nini." His mother says as she turns around with a smirk. Jongin sighs with a pout as he leans closer to peck her cheek.

"I swear, you have superhearing or something." Jongin whines, and she chuckles. 

"No, I could see you from the window as you walked up the driveway." She admits, and Jongin smacks his forehead for not thinking about that. "You go wash up and we'll eat in 10 minutes. I have to go to work soon so can you do the dishes tonight?" She asks as she moves over to the stove.

"Sure." Jongin says as he steals a piece of carrot from the bowl before scurrying off to the bathroom. As he washes his hands he starts to think about Yixing and the party. He knows his friends are hoping he'll come, and he does want to hang out. He's just worried that things will go badly and people will get too drunk and do stupid . And he knows his friends tend to do just that, from what he's heard of after many other parties. Especially his friend Chanyeol, so if he's going to this party then he's staying far away from Chanyeol. God knows that giant is a handful when he's sober, Jongin doesn't want to know how he is when he's drunk. He sighs and runs a hand through his bleached silver hair, ruffling it a bit as he walks back out. His mother is busy setting the table, and Jongin glances towards the clock on the wall. The party starts at around 9 if he remembers correctly, which gives him a few hours to eat and change if he's actually going.

Maybe he should, he should try to be a bit more social. He's not gonna drink so he'll just chat with people and maybe dance a little. Yeah, sounds like a plan.

"Hey mom?" He says softly as he sits down. She hums as she walks over with the food. "There's this party at Baekhyun's house tonight, do you think I could go?" He asks, not really knowing if he wants her to say yes or no. 

"Of course, Nini." She says with a big smile as she sits down. "It's nice that you are hanging out with them. It's been a while since I've seen Baekhyun and Yixing as well, you should invite them more often. But just stay safe tonight, okay? Don't do anything your mom wouldn't do." She says as she waves her spoon at him. 

"Of course not, mom. Thanks." He says with a smile and starts eating.

After dinner he gets up and does the dishes as his mom gets ready to go to work, he kisses her on the cheek before she leaves and promises her he'll be back before 1. When he's done with the dishes he goes up to his room, trying to figure out what to wear. He knows if he comes in his normal clothes, which is usually dance clothes, Baekhyun will butcher him. Baekhyun is all about fashion and eyeliner, always making Jongin wonder why they're even friends. 

He decides on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a red shirt that he rolls up the sleeves on. He ruffles his hair more and checks the time, knowing he has to take the subway to get to Baekhyun's house, which means he has to go soon. He grabs his phone and wallet and puts on his shoes, not really caring for a jacket since it's pretty warm out. 

The subway is only half full when Jongin jumps on, and he sits by the window near the doors. He's really hoping this won't be a disaster like he's fearing it will. He knows his friends aren't s or frat boys, but they tend to get into trouble either way. He sighs, looking up at the sky which is starting to darken, sending a small plea of help for that guardian angel to keep him out of trouble. He knows it's stupid, and he doesn't really believe in it, but he does it anyway.

He steps off and starts heading towards the house, knowing he'll be there a bit before 9, wanting to at least get himself a cup of soda and a spot on a couch before people start showing up. When he knocks on the door he can hear voices and people shuffling inside, and then the door is ripped open to reveal an excited Baekhyun, who then continues to let out an earschocking shriek and jumps into his arms.

"Jongin, I'm so glad you decided to come! Oh my god, this is going to be the best party ever!" Baekhyun sings out as he grabs his arm and basically drags him inside. Jongin closes the door and looks around, noticing the cups and sodas set out on the kitchen counter and several bowls of snacks and chips. There's already a few people there, mostly close friends of Baekhyun, which is good because they're also friends of Jongin. 

"Wow, Minseok, I think I'm hallucinating. Is that Kim Jongin at a party?!" Jongdae howls sarcastically as he walks over and throws his arm around Jongin's shoulder, making the latter roll his eyes. 

"Yeah yeah yeah, get it out before other people start to show." Jongin drones as he pushes the other away. 

"I'm glad you decided to come." Yixing says as he smiles one of his eye smiles, and Jongin can't help but smile back. 

"Let's hope I won't regret it." Jongin says with a sigh as he grabs one of the empty cups and walks over to the sink to fill it up.

"Oh come on, you're not drinking?" Jongdae asks. 

"Not really feeling it, and I have practice tomorrow." Jongin says as he takes a sip. 

"You have practice everyday." Jongdae deadpans, before flailing his arms around dramatically. "The one time we manage to drag you to a party and you're not even getting drunk. A disgrace!" The guy shouts, earning a slap from Minseok. 

"Leave the guy alone, we're not pushing people into drinking, you idiot." Minseok scolds as he rolls his eyes. Jongdae pouts at his boyfriend, walking over to his side to whine about his head hurting, finally leaving Jongin alone. 

"So, how many people are coming?" Jongin asks as he walks over to where Baekhyun is leaning on the table with Joonmyun and Sehun. 

"I don't know, people asked to bring people and I said sure, so maybe like...." Baekhyun glances in the air as he tries to count. "40?" He mumbles, making Jongin's eyes widen, almost choking on his water. 

"40?!" He blurts out, and Baekhyun shrugs his shoulder. Jongin looks around the house, trying to picture 33 other people in here. He groans as he leans his forehead on the table, earning a sympathic pat on the back from Joonmyun.

"Probably not all at the same time, people come and go. We'll shoo them out if it gets too many." Joonmyun tries to calm him, though it doesn't really work.

He could still just say sorry and run out, right? No, he's not a coward, he can do this. 

"Hey Jongdae, what are you drinking?" Jongin asks as he straightens up. The eyes of the other boy lights up as he runs over to pour some of his clear liquid (definitely not water) into a cup to make Jongin try it.

 

---

 

Probably not his best decision.

Jongin blinks his eyes open with a low groan, the light from the windows stinging his eyes and boosting the worst headache of his life. Too confused to even realise where he is, he tries to move to stand up, resulting in him falling out of the couch he was laying on, faceplanting to the floor. Feeling the air leave his lungs, he wheezes silently for a few seconds before attempting to move again. When his vision finally stills, he notices he's in Baekhyun's living room. 

At least, he thinks so. There's so many cups laying around and people fallen asleep in odd places that he's not really sure. He tries to silently walk out of the room, trying not to step on the guy with a blue boa and bright yellow sunglasses that's lying in the doorway. When he finally makes it to the kitchen he sighs, only to let out an unmanly yelp when someone taps his shoulder. He whips around, seeing a glare on Sehun's face, though that's his usual expression. 

"Shhh, too loud." The boy grumbles as he pushes past Jongin towards the coffee machine. As he presses the button, it makes a rather loud noise, and Sehun covers his ears with a hiss. Jongin can also feel the sound jabbing into his ears, but he tries to tune it out as he walks out to head to the bathroom.

He can feel a rising panic forming from the lack of memories of last night. He can't remember anything from after Jongdae gave him that drink. 

He's blaming all of this on Jongdae.

After a trip to the bathroom, where he succeeded in tripping over nothing and bashing his head against the wall on the way out, he tries to find Baekhyun's room, wondering if the host is more clearer on last night's events than him. He finds it after the second try, not even bothering to feel embarrassed that Baekhyun isn't alone in the room. The host is snuggled close to a strong back, the person facing away from Jongin, meaning he doesn't know who it is. 

"Baek, wake up." Jongin says with a pout, picking up one of the shirts from the floor and chucks it at Baekhyun's head. "Baekhyun!" Jongin tries a little louder, finally getting the boy to move. He hears a groan as Baekhyun rolls over on his back, glaring daggers at Jongin. 

"What?" Baekhyun grumbles in a whisper, glancing towards his bedpartner in fear of him waking up. 

"What the hell happened last night? I can't remember!" Jongin asks, only feeling the panic rise more now that he really thinks about it. 

Baekhyun chuckles. "It was a party, you usually don't want to remember afterwards." He says with a smirk, only making Jongin whine more. Baekhyun looks at him for a second, his eyes still a little blurry from sleep. "You really don't remember anything?" He asks softly. Jongin shakes his head and huffs. ", I need to keep you away from Jongdae from now on." Baekhyun says as he puts one of his hands over his face with a sigh. "I don't even know what he gave you." He adds, making Jongin's eyes widen. He also has no idea what he drank last night, only that the first time it tasted like poison. "I don't really know much, Nini, I was pretty out of it too." Baekhyun says, furrowing his brows as he tries to remember something from last night. "I know at some point you were talking with some dude. I've never seen him before, but he seemed to know you. You disappeared at one point and that's all I know." Baekhyun says and shrugs. 

"Someone I know but you don't?" Jongin asks with frown. His closest friends are Yixing and Baekhyun, meaning there's really no one he knows that he hasn't been introduced with through those two. 

"It's too early for this, Nini, can we get back to this when my head isn't burning?" Baekhyun mumbles, turning back and throwing his arm over the other person again. 

"Fine, who's that?" Jongin asks, walking to the other side of the bed to see the face of the guy, only to have to cover his laugh. "Chanyeol? Really?" Jongin says with a laugh. The shirt he had thrown is thrown back at him, as Baekhyun hisses at him to get out. Jongin does as told, looking forward to hearing more about that on a later note. 

He sighs as he closes the door, thinking about what Baekhyun said. He really has no idea who he could have been talking to. Maybe he actually doesn't know the guy? 

Walking past Sehun still leaning against the table in the kitchen, half asleep with a cup of coffee in his hand, Jongin walks back into the living room to find his things before heading home. He doesn't know any of the people lying around, in his head wondering if one of these people is the guy he was talking to. 

Putting on his shoes, he walks out and pulls out his phone to check for messages from his mother. There's only one text, where she asks if he's sleeping over at Baekhyun's and to have a goodnight. Jongin sends her a quick text back to say sorry for not answering and that he's coming home now. He checks his other messages, finding one from Yixing that makes him read it twice. 

Hey, I'm heading home, Joonmyun's driving me. Don't drink too much, okay? And you have to tell me about him tomorrow ;)

- Yixing

Jongin frowns, scratching his head in confusion. He waits with texting the other back before reaching his house, carefully opening the door. When he takes off his shoes he can hear a door upstairs opening before his mother's voice is heard. "Nini?" She asks. 

"Yeah it's me." Jongin answers as he walks up the stairs to meet her. She gives him a soft smile and pats his cheek. "Sorry, I fell asleep before I saw your message." He says with a small pout, hoping she's not mad at him.

"It's alright, I'm just glad you're okay." She says, but gives him a little warning glare. "But it won't happen again, right?" She asks.

"It won't, I promise." He answers and nods, and she goes back to smiling. 

"Wan't me to make some breakfast?" She asks as she walks past him and downstairs. 

"I can help." Jongin says as he follows her. The night before momentarily forgotten as he helps his mother making breakfast. It lasts until she begins asking about it, making Jongin panic slightly.

"So, what did you do?" She asks innocently as she leans on the counter, watching him set the table.

"Uhm, the usual, soda, snacks, dancing. There were a few people that I didn't know, but I mostly just hang with my friends. And then at the end I got tired and fell asleep on the couch." Jongin tries to say with as much honesty as he can muster, hoping his mother won't use her powers on him to see through his lies. Though it's not mostly lies, at least he thinks so. 

"Well that's good, but next time you can just call me and I'll come pick you up, okay?" She says as she starts to put the food on the table. 

"Alright, mom." He answers.

 

---

 

Hey, are you awake? 

I seriously can't remember anything from last night....do you know what happened?

- Jongin

 

He throws the phone on the bed and walks over to sit in his chair, staring at the device as he gnaws on his bottom lip. He's worried about what he might have done. He's never been that drunk before, and has no idea how he behaves when he's that far gone. What if he did something terrible? What if he can't show his face again in public? 

Maybe he just didn't do anything? It's possible.

But who is the guy people saw him talk to. He really wants to know, only because he can't think of anyone that his friends didn't know of. 

His phone lights up on the bed and Jongin dives for it, only centimetres away from falling off the bed on the other side. 

 

You got wasted. It was really fun, tbh. I don't know, you danced a lot. 

- Yixing

 

That doesn't sound so bad though. Jongin lets out a sigh of relief, finally able to push the worrisome thoughts away. But then the phone lights up again with a new text.

 

But then that guy came up to you. He was really cute tho, a little dark, but cute. Totally your type ;)

You talked for a good while before he lead you outside, and then 30 mins later you show up again and crash on the couch.

You remember him, right?

- Yixing

 

Jongin groans, pressing his face into his pillow. Why can't he remember this?! Even if Yixing has helped him a little, he still has no idea who the person is, and is really freaking out about the 30 minute blank space where no one seems to know where he and this mystery guy was!

 

I don't remember anything, which is slowly driving me insane :( 

I wish I knew who he was. You don't think you've seen him before?

- Jongin

 

He sighs, rolling over on his stomach and trying to blow his fringe out of his eyes. His phone lights up only minutes later.

 

Honestly, no. But hey, if I see him, you'll be the first one to know :)

- Yixing

 

Thanks :)

- Jongin

 

---

 

A week after the party and Jongin still hasn't heard anything about the mystery guy he had talked to. His friends have tried to help in any way they could, but the night is just as foggy to them as it is to Jongin, and the mystery guy stays a mystery. 

Jongin is walking back from school, headphones in his ears and lips moving silently to the words in the music. His feet are in rythm to the beat, and the world has seemed to fade for him as he walks. It's weekend and their teacher let them go early, meaning Jongin has some free time before heading to dance practice, and he's been wanting to catch up on some sleep for a while. The preporations for his exams are killing him slowly, his body already feeling the toll. He can constantly feel a sharp pain in his ankle, though he chooses to ignore it because he honestly can't get injured right now. He's tried to hide it, keeping his weight on the other foot and doing jumps with one foot. It's hard, and Jongin can feel himself losing so much energy and focus on just that which leaves him completely exhausted in the evening.

He stumbles a bit on the sidewalk, finally looking up from his phone, noticing he has to cross the street. He looks ahead and starts to walk over.

The music is loud in his ears, but he hears the booming sound of a car horn right next to him, just as he feels a grip on his arm and his body is yanked back on the sidewalk.

His phone falls out of his hands and his earphones are ripped out as he falls to the ground. He can feel his bare arms taking most of the hit, his skin burning as it scratches against the ground. The world is quiet for only a millisecond as Jongin tries to figure out what the hell just happened. He turns his head to find the source that pulled him away from sudden death, and his breath is caught in his throat.

Standing above him, leaned over to catch his breath, is the most beautiful boy Jongin has ever seen. 

Raven black hair that's short on the sides, sunkissed skin but a little lighter than his own, big eyes the colour of dark chocolate, plump lips that are shaped like a heart, short, but his muscles easily compensates that. Jongin can feel his mouth is open, jaw slacked as he stares at the man, unashamed. That is until the man straightens up and sends one of the coldest and angriest glares Jongin has ever seen.

"Are you ing crazy?!"

 

---

 

Hehehe, left it on a high part :D

 

Thank you so much for reading <3 Finally done with chapter 1, yey~~~!!

 

Please leave a comment down below to let me know what you think about the chapter, and I promise the next one will be up soon :D

 

Thanks beauties <3