Mino only visits me for three reasons. First, we haven't seen each other for a long time and he misses me. Second, something is going wrong and he needs comfort. Third is when I call him. I didn't call him that night, I didn't ask him to come so I judged that either he was missing me or that something was wrong.

Something was indeed wrong. 

When the news of Nam Taehyun leaving WINNER escaped the border of his lips, I thought it was a joke, but the look on his face and the hurt in his eyes told me he wasn't joking, at all. I sat still on the sofa, speecheless by the news. Mino kept talking about it, about Taehyun and about their trainee days and how he tried to convince him to stay and how horrible he feels for not being able to do anything about the situation. His face was pale as if he hadn't eaten for days and it broke my heart, because he loves eating more anything. The bags under his eyes showed our sleep deprived he is and seeing him like that, broken and vulnerable, I leaned in forward and pulled him in a hug. He didn't reject me. Instead, he kept talking about Taehyun and I listened, patting the back of his back and sometimes,  his hair and whispering words of comfort. 

``How are the others members taking it?``

``They're respecting his decision.``

I nodded and I told him that Taehyun leaving the group isn't the end of their brotherhood. That they're just taking different roads and they'll remain in touch. Mino didn't seem convinced, he just got more furious, revealing how he never thought of their relationship as business only, that he didn't stick together because they're bond together by a contract, but because he felt like it was do or die. That if one of them sunk, it was all of them together.

``Is that how you felt when Jiwon left?`` He asked me once he calmed himself down a bit and I thought about it. I thought about how I wished Jiwon hadn't left and how it tore me apart. 

I let Mino talk as much as he needed it and when he felt like he said enough, a silence lingered in the living room. It had started pouring outside and the sounds of the raindrops shattering against the door and the walls was the only sound perceivable. Mino hates the silence and he urged me to talk about something, anything as long as it isn't quiet. I didn't know what to say so naturally, I suggested that we put some music to fill in the silence, but he didn't agree. 

“What's wrong with your mother and you?” 

I fell silent for a second, debating again if I should tell him or not. Mino sighed, knowing about my indecisiveness and just waited, because he knows that I just need time to open up. After contemplating the cons and the pros, I came to conclusion that it wouldn't be fair of me to stay quiet about my life when he had told me so much about his. 

“I...” I paused, not knowing where I should began. “I was twelve when my parents divorced.” I breathed and waited for Mino to react or say something, because it's something he didn't know. He just held me hand. “They were constantly in verbal altercations. I'd hear plates and glasses shatter against the wall...” I continued, my eyes blank. “When things were unbearable, I'd sneak out to find Jiwon, we lived in the same building so I'd hide in his bedroom. He knew about the fights and he never questioned me whenever I visited him. When my parents officially divorced, he was still there for me.” 

Mino squeezed my hand and brushed the back of it with his thumb. I looked up to him and he smiled. “After the divorce, my father disappeared. It was my mother, my sister and me only.”

“What happened?” Mino inquired, his voice a whisper. It was still pouring hard outside and I let my head fall on his shoulder. 

“My mother got a lot more strict, to the point she was taking every decision regarding us. My sister didn't like that. The way she wanted to control every aspects of our lives. After she left, my mother got a lot more strict with me, fearing that I might leave her too if she didn't control me enough.” I paused and thought about the years when it was just my mother and me and how I had to lie every single time, how her overprotectiveness destroyed my abilities to talk and express myself. She had muted me and as days passed by, it only got worse that at some point, it wasn't just mere control, but abuse. 

Mino listened, his hand never leaving mine as I opened up to him. “Jiwon was always there. He helped me out a lot emotionally. He even accompanied me to my first group therapy. Living home was hell, but being at school wasn't any better with Jisoo...”

Mino's eyebrows furrowed at the mention of Jisoo. He didn't know her, I've never talked about her with him. “She used to bully me. Jiwon didn't know about it, I didn't want him to know. He was already doing so much for me and he used to like her...”

“You thought he wouldn't believe you?”

“No” I disagree. “Jiwon would've believed me. Actually, he discovered it one day and told me he'd take of her.”

“Did he?”

“I suppose he did” I nodded. “ Because Jisoo didn't do anything from that day. A month later she disappeared along with Jiwon.”

Ever since the night Mino and I talked, his question has been consistently bothering me. Do you like Jiwon? I thought about it hard and long enough to come to the conclusion that I don't. Sure, I feel something for Jiwon, but it's definitely not love. He's been someone special and therefore, I think I'll always care for him. Time has faded by and so has my romantic feelings for him. Care is a more appropriate word.

Three months have passed by since Jiwon and I, we got in touch again and things went by well. So well that they are days I felt like it cannot be true, as if something is wrong or I've failed to notice something. 

Something was indeed wrong. 

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