It was spring and Jinyoung could finally venture outside on his free period. He was in his second year at university studying art and although he loved it he still hadn’t made many friends. He got on well with the colleagues he had at the coffee shop but at university people tended to leave him alone. He didn’t mind really, he had all the company he needed at work and he had countless friends in his ever growing pile of books, and more importantly than that he had his studio and his flourishing art work.
      Jinyoung decided he’d go and sit on a back row seat by the basketball court, taking a slow wander over there from his studio still covered in splotches of dark blue and black paint. The university grounds seemed to be waking up, the air smelt sweet as the pink blossoms started to push their way out of buds into the blue air, patches of grass were growing up between cracks in the paving stones and students were starting to use the picnic benches for social and study meetings with each other. It made him feel so much less lonely than winter had made him feel. He took the steps up to the top, dropping his bag down and taking a seat.

    There was a basketball practise going on for a change, he had seen fliers around advertising a match coming up with another University so he assumed this would be the team practising. He had never really been into sport himself but having the rowdy crowd down below made him feel more at home and able to relax into the background. He had been reading ‘Murakami’ recently and had just picked up a fresh new series so he opened his book to the smell of fresh paper and let the sounds fade into nothing as he lost himself in the printed world in his hands.

      90 pages later he looked up to see the practise had finished, the players dispersing in small groups off to their changing rooms. He watched the red coloured swarm of uniforms as they headed off the court leaving the coach and another player. He watched them mindlessly as he wondered whether or not he needed to put his jumper on, almost missing the boy smiling up at him and giving him a small wave. Grabbing his bag he headed off, he had class anyway and he didn’t want whoever it was to talk to him.

As he washed up in the back room of the coffee shop his head was swimming with thoughts of going back to the basketball court. He loved the feeling of being a part of something even if he was alone and he had felt so at peace there, he often felt homesick during the winter when he spent so much time alone and the coffee shop didn’t have many customers and the way he had felt so content today felt like the end of a long cold season.

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Jinyoung hadn’t cast a second thought to the boy who had attempted to get his attention, although he realised later as he walked past him he knew who he was. He knew he was called Jackson and he was from China, but everyone knew that. There were some people that were just too loud to not be noticed and Jackson was one of them. If he had cared to look he would have seen Jackson turn his head to get another glance at him to see if it was his court boy but Jinyoung had his head elsewhere and Jackson was going to be late.

     He found his way to the back of the court again on his free period, sitting down to continue his book. It was colder today so he had a blue woolly turtle neck on which he curled into as he pried open the pages but he was still happy to be here like he was. Due to the cold there was less people out but there were a few people around watching the players. He had been almost alone last time but he supposed work that practise had started had spread fast to those interested. He lost himself in his book once more, losing himself in the magic of words until his phone went off causing him to put it down with a sigh to see who it was.

‘Hey Jinyoung, if you’re not busy can you come into work tonight? I know it’s your day off but Youngjae is sick’

He didn’t mind really, in fact he was slightly relieved. Last year he had student accommodation so even though he never spoke to anyone he never truly felt alone. After the first year however, he had to move out into his own little apartment. It was essentially one room with a toilet off to the side but it was quite nice and well kept, the only problem was he never knew what to do for himself and it’s really hard to know what to cook for one person. He tended to go to bed early out of sheer boredom and so being called into work was almost a blessing. It meant he couldn’t finish his artist research but he could always do that tomorrow instead.

      He didn’t have time to wait till the court was empty before he squeezed past everyone so he merged into the team headed towards the changing rooms to pick up his portfolio before he headed off to work, JB usually let him store the A3 sized folder in the store room so he could get it home later.

        “Hey.. you were here yesterday”

Jinyoung turned to see a smiley Jackson, his smile was almost irritatingly happy when all Jinyoung really wanted was to be left alone.

“Yes, I was. Sorry I’m in a rush” he said quickly as he picked up his pace, disappearing round the corner and leaving a slightly confused Jackson behind.

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Jinyoung hadn’t anticipated Jackson to be sitting in his seat when he arrived later that week. He had never asked for Jackson’s attention and he didn’t want it, he didn’t want anyone's attention really. He was here to get his degree and then he wanted to leave Korea all together, making friends wasn’t high on his priority list.

“Hey!” Jackson said brightly, standing up to meet him. He was already in his basketball uniform and Jinyoung wondered how early he had to get here for this surprise bombardment.

“Uhh… hi” he his heel and started back down the steps but Jackson’s sneakers soon came into sync with his. Jinyoung didn’t dislike Jackson but he disliked the attention and Jackson’s presence at his side was like a thorn, he had come here to sit down and read and this was the last thing he wanted.
“Are you interested in basketball?”

“No.”

“Then why read here?”

“I like it”

“Surely it’s boring on your own” He gave a shrug in response, not understanding how Jackson wasn’t picking up the hint that he wanted to be left alone. “What are you reading?” Instead of answering Jinyoung flashed him the cover of the book before speeding up his pace again.

“I just remembered I have work” he said in a hurry, making his way quickly out of sight and to his relief Jackson finally got the hint and didn’t follow.

Normally he didn’t run away from people but something about Jackson just made him want to flee. Everyone liked Jackson and Jackson liked everyone and he didn’t want to be like everyone else, he wanted to stay quiet and stay away from crowds of people and Jackson was rarely alone, he was not someone Jinyoung was interested in befriending. He knew that running away from him like that was irrational and a little extreme but he couldn’t help it, having Jackson talk to him made his stomach twist in an uncomfortable way and he just needed to get out of there. He wouldn’t be at the court tomorrow that was for sure, Jackson seemed insistent on getting his attention and he wasn’t interested in it in the slightest.

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He didn’t go back for the next few days, the days he wasn’t in work he spent reading at home. It wasn’t ideal because he thought he had found his perfect spot but he would just have to wait. His free periods he spent working, something he probably should have done to begin with but just never did. He found the pull of books difficult to ignore.

“So he only said hello?” Youngjae asked as Jinyoung explained the loss of his spot to him.

“Well yes but… I didn’t want to talk to anyone” Jinyoung felt stupid explaining this, saying it out loud made it seem so much more childish than it had felt at the time. He could feel his ears burning red as he loaded fresh muffins into the glass counter.

“Couldn’t you have told him that?”
“I don’t think he would have got the message”
“You don’t think, but you don’t know…”
“He has a point” JB chimed in from behind the coffee machine and Jinyoung wished he hadn’t brought any of it up.

“He’s just irritating. I’m not interested in any of it” he could hear how pathetic this all sounded, he sounded like a child having a tantrum over his lunch table being disrupted. Jackson had only been trying to be friendly and Jinyoung had run away. “And it’s weird waiting for someone just to say hi”
“I’m sure he had his reasons” JB retorted.

“I’m not interested in his reasons. I’m interested in my books”
“Making friends is good for you Jinyoung”
“Now you sound like my mom”

Jinyoung closed the counter and took the boxes back into the store room, hoping the conversation would be over when he came out again. The truth was after that he was feeling a little stupid and more than anything he missed his spot.

When he got out of work it was dark, the tepid streets illuminated with warm coloured street lights. Thankfully it didn’t seem to be about to rain so before he could change his mind he headed back to the court, the floodlights were usually on and that would be enough light to read in. He would just sit there for half an hour while he finished his book and then tomorrow he would go out and buy the next in the series.

He found his seat easily, his legs taking him there more easily than if he had thought about it. He sat down but had to stand up again to remove the block that had been left on his chair. Picking it up it felt all too familiar in his hands and looking down at it he saw the white words printed on the front ‘Murakami.’ He blinked at it a few times before flicking open the front cover to see if it had a name or library printed in the front. Instead a note fluttered to the ground and he reached down to pick it up. The writing was messy, it was a little hard to decipher and he guessed who it was from even though no name was signed.

‘Sorry for disturbing you earlier. I noticed your book was nearly finished- I hope this finds you’

He stared at it in confusion for a bit before realising this was an apology and guilt filled him almost immediately. It had been him who had acted like a total weirdo not Jackson. Without allowing himself to overthink it he slipped the book and the note into the bag, shaking his head as if to shake out the thoughts. He didn’t understand why Jackson kept trying but some small part of him wanted to give in to it and have a conversation at least. Next time...