The door makes an ear piercing squeak when Eren opens it slowly and he winces at the sound. The sneaking in he had planned was ruined right at that moment and the dim light coming through the now open gap indicated the owner of the room wasn’t even asleep as Eren hoped. He has been noticed and he knows the dark haired male knows it’s exactly Eren trying to come in.

He opens the door enough to enter the room and then closes it behind him, turning the key in the lock. The room is perfectly silent and still, the flame of the candle standing on the nightstand barely moving as Eren moves forward. He wants to fidget with the straps of his gear but they all have been taken off for the night so he just awkwardly runs his hands over his thighs before sitting down on the bed next to the man lounging on it.

The brown jacket and the green cloak of his are hanging over the nearby chair, his gear and blades resting on it, boots slouching next to it. He himself seems absolutely unaware of Eren being there, his dull blue eyes focused on the book in his hands, yet he knew of Eren’s presence since the latter put his hand on the door handle. The near perfectly still light from the half burned candle makes the dark circles under his eyes even more provident and Eren’s tongue itches to suggest sleep instead reading, even though he knows sleep has nothing to do with those dark shadows. He knows as he seeps plenty but he is starting to notice darker shadows under his own eyes too.

Neither of them say a word, the room as quiet as when the brunette entered, yet there is no awkward tension in the air. Silence between them is a common thing and Eren must admit he appreciates it. The buzzing and rumbling in the barracks could be overwhelming. There would always be someone who would ask ‘how does it feel when you change?’ or ‘do you want to eat humans when you shift?’ and even Armin and Mikasa combined couldn’t chase them all off, especially on days after a battle. There would be useless jokes that didn’t even lift the mood or mentions of people not there for various reasons, death, sadly, being the most acceptable one. Here, however, nothing else but both of them and silence existed. It felt nice, it felt safe, and safe sanctuary was something Eren longed for.

“Did you want something?” finally comes a question from the owner of the room and the younger of the two jumps a little. Did he want something?

“No. I just wanted to stop by,” Eren shakes his head and focuses his gaze on the wooden floor and how his boots throw shadows on it - dark, menacing shadows that grow bigger and bigger, turning into vivid, roaring monsters before Eren’s very eyes. He squeezes them shut, gripping on the edge of the bed. Maybe he wanted something. Something only he - only Levi - could give him.

He opens his eyes and from the corner of his eyes sees that the book Levi was reading has been placed on the nightstand. Slowly he looks at the always piercing eyes looking at him and by instinct he wants to look away, yet he doesn’t. The man is still leaning against the headrest of the bed, his arms crosses on his chest as he pins Eren down with his gaze.

“And now tell me the truth,” Levi speaks calmly and sharply, but unlike the times the crest of crossed wings on his uniform made him a captain, he doesn’t have the undeniable authority in his voice.

“I’m nervous,” Eren says quietly as he looks away and then shakes his head, “No. I’m scared,” he admits and rests his hands on his knees, gripping tightly. “I know that the last few times all operations involving me shifting have gone good. There were no deaths, just injuries, which is not great but better,” he speaks and knows very well Levi is listening even though he isn’t responding. “I can control it, I mean myself, better and actually use near full potential I have. But tomorrow's mission…” his knuckles turn white as he tightens the grip on his knees. “We need move from this station the next and the safety of the whole squad depends on me. I will need to make sure no titans get close, as all of of you will focus on transporting the injured ones. I will be alone and…”

“Who told you will be alone?”  Levi interrupts and Eren finally turns his eyes back to him. His gaze is cold and scolding at the same time, his face empty of any emotions as per usual and Eren gulps rather loudly.

“When have you ever been alone during a mission?” comes another question and Eren just opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, not really knowing what to say. “I don’t remember being left out of the mission, nor have I heard that anyone else will stay behind,” Levi adds and Eren lowers his gaze again.

“But you will have a different task and…” he begins but a hand firmly grabs his chin and makes him look up and turn to Levi. There’s no more than a centimeter between their faces and Eren feels blood rushing to his cheeks. This still made him flustered, no matter how silly it seemed.

“So you are telling me you are not cut out for the task?” Levi’s voice sends shivers down Eren’s spine and the latter swallows loudly again. The older always did this - the simplest things that flustered the other.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” the brunette replies, trying his best not let his voice break or his eyes to wander. The only way to not lose against Levi right now was to stand his ground and focus on the issue to not let the blood from his cheeks to rush elsewhere.

“Then what do you mean?” comes another question, Levi’s fingers still having a firm grip on Eren’s chin, not letting the latter to lower his head again.

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt again because I messed up,” he pushes past his lips and Levi moves back a little, his hand moving away from Eren’s face. “I am humanity's hope, the hidden card everyone puts their hopes on and yet so many people have already suffered, so many have died whenever I have messed up even the slightest bit,” he pours his thoughts out and naturally his eyes start to wonder, his gaze meeting the edge of the bed.

“Since I discovered this power, no, even before so many have died around me, I can’t stand the thought of my failures bringing more death. What kind of bringer of hope am I, if it comes through blood of my fellow soldiers?” he continues and he doesn’t even know where all this is coming from. There’s an ominous feeling at the back of his chest about the 3 day mission of traveling from one fortress to another. His gut tells him something will go wrong and he can’t express or explain it.

“Then why did you come to me?” Levi’s voice seems softer, more gentle than before. More than anyone he understands the burden Eren has on his shoulders now. Only he understood and only he could make it fade away.

“Because with you next to me I feel safe. I feel like nothing can go wrong. Being next you calms me,” Eren admits. He has said similar words before, he has confessed these odd but pleasant feelings before, but every time he put them out there again felt like the first time.

“So?” is a short question from the man who has shifted in the bed. Eren felt the movement but he didn’t look, nor does he look now.

“So, can I stay with you tonight?” Eren asks, his eyes meeting the distorted shadows on the floor.

“Look at me and then ask,” the flame of the candle moves responding to Levi’s movement and Eren looks up, seeing other even closer than before.

“Can I be with you tonight?” he asks again and in response hands roughed up by the hilt of the blades and grabbing on to the steel wires of gear cup his face and lips press against his. It’s an answer Eren needed more desperately he wanted to admit.

He feels feather light when Levi pulls him in the bed and pushes his back against the mattress. The weight leaves his shoulder along with his shirt, the menacing shadows disappear somewhere in the pile of boots and pants and his worries disappear in thin air along his rapid breathing. His eyes can’t see nothing more but the the blurry ceiling above him and two blue eyes looking at him with a gaze so soft, yet so intense Eren can’t look away.

It’s impossible to say a single word - his lips either occupied with another pair mercilessly claiming them, a skillful tongue re-exploring every bit of his mouth and tangling in a mad dance with his, or shameless and wanton moans and groans spilling from his throat. He feels nothing more but tensed muscles underneath his hands, the rough yet somewhat gentle touches all over his skin and the growl filled bites on his shoulders. Each of the powerful, rhythmic s make sparks jump before his opened eyes and nothing more exists apart from here and now.

Eren is lost in the world where his name slips from Levi’s lips almost breathlessly and he himself can barely push his commanders, no, his safe sanctuaries name over his trembling lips. The room is no longer quiet and calm - air thick with the scent of , layered with the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin and almost too obscene and inappropriate moans. It almost feels Levi might have even more pent up inside than Eren, his whole energy going into this moment in time, Eren desperately giving his all back.

Maybe it was just deprivation, just longing taking over both them and overpowering the initial emotions. When was the last time they could be alone, hidden by the night and swallowed up by each other's moans and scent? A month, maybe even two or three ago perhaps. Their sinful secret must be the most well kept one in the squad, but not once has Eren thought there was anything sinful about it. There was nothing wrong or twisted about how Levi’s touch, Levi’s kiss, Levi’s closeness set Eren free from the burden he carried on his shoulders. It was a blessing and more to hear three sweet, simple and true words said to him in their shared darkness and even more - saying the back.

Above that, anything that brought so much life to Levi’s stone-like face couldn’t be bad. Eren had seen him smile, he had seen him genuinely surprised, he had seen his face twisted in pleasure - lips bruised and parted, sweat drenched bangs sticking to his forehead, eyes squeezed shut as he gasps Eren’s name. Even now his eyes were sparkling and deeper than the deepest and bluest lake filled with emotions endless and beautiful. There couldn’t be anything wrong with that. Yet it was a secret hidden from everyone and keeping it hidden was the way to maintain this, Eren was ready to take it to his grave as long as he could share all these feelings with Levi. It’s cheesy, it’s sappy but when one sees the word falling apart bit by bit every day, something simple like that can help keeping one’s sanity.

The candle is almost burned out and sunrise is fews hour away. The air in the room is heavy, the blur of overwhelming es following one another almost visible in the stretched out shadows. Their hearts are racing like crazy, breathings barely calming down, and the burdens, the worries they threw away are lurking from under the pile of their clothes, from the shadows of the green cloak on the backrest of the chair and from beneath the locked door. They didn’t leave, they didn’t disappear, they just hid away waiting for another chance to attack.

Eren moves his worn out body, not giving a single chance for his fear to return, and hides his face against Levi’s chest, gently flopping on top of the older male, who had rolled on his back to hatch a breathe. “What are you doing?” Levi grumbles, his hands on Eren’s shoulder, yet he doesn’t push him away.

“Recharging,” the younger of two replies simply and presses his lips against Levi’s skin. He hears a quiet ‘idiot’ directed at him from above and the hands from his shoulder move - one to his nape while other thread through his hair. Just for few more hours he could enjoy the serene peace and safety. Just for a bit more he could indulge in the warmth of a man so many found cold and intimidating. And after that… after those few hours pass Eren was ready to give his everything, to go all in to make sure he could return to this place, this moment again - time after time.

 

Day 3 of the moving operation

 

“Faster! They are gaining on us!” comes a warning from the left side and Levi looks back. A pack of around 7, possibly 8 abnormals chasing them through the patch of trees they were passing through. Repulsive twisted faces and deformed bodies, all running after the scent of humans and the blood soaking through the bandages of the injured ones in the carriage, made the earth vibrate with their footsteps and near panic to rise in the squad.

“Keep moving!” Levi orders and speeds to the front. “No matter what happens don’t dare to stop or turn back,” he instructs and falls back next to Mikasa on the right side. They both have the same thought in their head, both of them glancing back at the abominations chasing them - where is Eren?

“He will catch up,” Mikasa murmurs, her lips barely over the edge of her scarf. “He will,” she adds yet Levi doesn’t reply. He didn’t need this reassurement. Better than anyone he knows Eren will appear soon despite the madness that awaited them from the moment they woke up.

The first two days were unbelievably calm. There were some distant sightings of 5 and 6 meter titans wandering towards the previous base, some rummaging through the empty villages on the south, but non were close enough to raise alarm, until morning of day 3. It was the final day of traveling- new base a goal they should reach in the evening - but the moment they opened their eyes in the makeshift camp where they spent not more than 4 hours, a bulge-eyed creep greeted them from the trees. A small abnormal, no larger than 3 meters, which was easy to take care off, yet the closer they got to the patch of trees they had to speed through the more of them in sizes up to 8 meters emerged. For the first time Eren had to shift in order to hold three of them back while the caravan moved forward. Since that moment almost an hour had passed and there were still no signs of him anywhere.

“We have a speedy one!” came another shout from the back and Levi looked back. A 7 meter flailing mess that vaguely reminded of a human being was running right after them from the left side. The ground began to shake beneath the hooves of the horses even more and Levi already prepared to use his gear for the nearest tree when a loud, yet very familiar roar echoed around the forest patch.

In straight line, Eren’s titan form ran out from the left side and straight into the closest creature knocking it out of the way. He roared once more and glanced once over his shoulder before turning to the pack now running straight at him. One by one he tore the necks of the smallest ones with ease and it almost looked like a piece of cake, if not the tendency of this day to go from bad to worse.

“Two 10 meter ones on the right! They are heading straight for Eren!” Levi didn’t even recognize the voice calling out the observation and immediately looked back. More disgusting creatures emerged from the area, all driven to Eren like ants to honey, launching at his arms and legs, biting into his flesh despite him fighting back with all his might.

“They will eat him!” all voices sounded the same to Levi right now and he didn’t even bother to figure out who said that. He immediately let his horse fall back and was about to turn it around when Mikasa was suddenly right next to him.

“No,” he said firmly meeting her eyes through the black bangs falling over her face. “Get the caravan to safety. It’s an order,” he continued and he was ready to repeat himself to get Mikasa away, yet her reaction surprised him.

“Get Eren back,” she replied and speeded back to the group. Levi had no time to think about and ponder on her reasoning. He turned his horse around and speeded towards the mayhem with Eren in the middle, steam already rising from the wounds where the creatures that mocked the very human appearance had bit him. He couldn’t fight them all off, not alone.

It takes a second for Levi to leave his horse behind and use the trees to move forward with the gear. His blades are ready, his focus doesn’t falter even for a second as he slices open the napes of titans closest to him. Desperate roar from Eren almost makes him falter, the teal green eyes meeting his and Levi pulls all stops. With a roar launches into the pit of titans feasting on Eren, who still, despite the fume rising from him, fights back and viciously bites whoever gets near him.

Everything's a blur of falling bodies, splattering blood, with Eren’s roars getting weaker each moment. The fog covering Levi’s eyes and keeping him in the zone falls only when the last 10 m monster falls to the ground and he finally sees Eren properly. The titan has an arm and a leg almost completely chewed off, a hole in his side and bite marks all over him. His head is lowered, shoulders slouching forward, as he rests against a tree, the black hair covering his face and Levi feels his heart sinking in his chest.

He doesn’t think twice and lands on titan Eren’s shoulder and moves to the back of his neck. The adrenaline is still pumping through Levi’s system and he pauses, blades in the air, and takes a deep breath before slicing open the titan's nape. Steam rises from the fresh cut and Levi reaches ignoring the hot air hitting his face and grabs Eren by his shoulders, pulling him out of the slowly melting titan body.

Eren is injured and unconscious from the strain on his body, the attack of so many opponents still being too much for him and at the back of his head Levi blames himself. “I promised you won’t be alone…” he utters as he lifts the boy up. He doesn’t say anything else as new set of heavy footsteps near from the north and he has no time to waist. The horse emerges from the bushes after one whistle and Levi gets on - Eren sitting in front of him slouched against his shoulder - and takes off from the titan slaughterhouse as fast as he can.

The caravan is well ahead and he probably won’t catch up to them until they reach the base. It’s a bother because Hange could take a look at Eren to check if he’s okay, but now an inspection was hours away. The plan was faulty, They shouldn’t have left Eren behind. He shouldn’t have approved of this idea, rather he should have objected to it.

Levi barely slows down to not exhaust the horse when they are an hour away from the base and Eren starts to move. The latter opens his eyes slowly and blinks a few times before looking up.

“Levi…” he smiles a tired, almost painful smile and lays his head back on the older one’s shoulder. His arms weakly go around Levi’s waist to hold on and it’s an instinct, it’s a desperate and dangerous need at this point, but Levi gives in presses a quick kiss on Eren’s forehead. He got him back, he’s safe now, but was this kind of sacrifice needed.

“Captain!” a voice that sounds very much like Armin calls out and Levi looks up from Eren to meet four riders heading their direction.

“Didn’t I order you take the caravan to safety?” he addresses Mikasa as soon as she is close and the riders make a formation around Levi’s horse.
“They have reached the base. We returned after you. You are a part of the caravan after all, captain,” she replies and looks at the half awake Eren pressed against Levi. She doesn’t say a thing and the half hour ride to the base is silent and calm. Hange is already waiting at the gate with carriers, yet doesn’t protest when Levi jumps of the horse and lifts Eren off, the later half deliriously falling into his arms.

“No,” Eren whines as he is placed on the carriers, holding onto Levi’s cloak and the latter has to move his hands off.

“Later,” Levi whispers so quietly he doubts even Eren heard him, but he doesn’t have the time nor the chance to repeat himself. He lets go of Eren’s hands and moves straight to the barracks and to his room before anyone asks anything. The titan blood stained clothes come off immediately and he doesn’t even bother putting them away neatly. They form a pile on the floor along with the gear and his boots near the washroom door. He feels disgusting and not because of the blood, no, because he was so close to losing someone again, someone too important to lose.

He loses track of time of how long he tries to wash off this disgusting feeling, the feeling that rushes back with hundreds of locked away memories, yet when he returns to his room pulling a shirt over his head, a very familiar form is sitting on the bed. There’re bandages around his arm, others probably hidden by his shirt and pants, yet he is here - sitting on Levi’s bed and fiddling with the edge of the blanket. The pile of clothes is gone from where Levi left them, the candle on the nightstand lit and for a moment it feels so very, very right. Like returning home.

“You should be resting. Why are you here?” Levi asks and Eren looks up. He looks absolutely exhausted and sleepy only emphasizing that he shouldn’t be here. “We arrived not more than an hour ago. I doubt Hange or Mikasa allowed you leave bed.”

“We arrived two hours ago. And I sneaked out when they left me to let me sleep,” Eren replies almost sounding proud with his accomplishment. “You said ‘later’. I think this is later enough,” he adds and Levi just lets out a sigh. Eren was unreasonable and unstoppable when he had something on his mind,even if he could barely move.

“I wanted to thank you. For getting me out of that mess,” the younger continues and Levi sits down on the bed next to him. “Who would have know all of them would appear from nowhere,” he laughs lightly to brighten the suddenly heavy mood, yet it doesn’t work.

“I should have known.” Levi replies quietly. “I should have known after all the people I have lost to stupid plans and pure bad luck,” he clenches his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees. “From all the people involved I should have objected about going through with this crazy idea. I should have made it clear no one should be left alone, even a titan shifter,” he continues, his rare but existent talkative side taking over in full blown rant.

“I promised you wouldn’t be left alone, that I would be there, but we all just moved forward. We just run leaving you to deal with those monsters and it was so close… it was so close this time,” Levi’s gaze is locked on his hands, concentrating on not letting them shake. “I have brought back so many badges, given them to so many grieving families. So many souls have been killed while being in the squad, while being under my command and all I could ever say were some generic words of sympathy while I handed a crying relative a piece of cloth,” he can’t no longer keep his hands still and they begin to shake. “What would I tell myself if I would lose you? What generic excuse could I give myself when the badge would be the only thing left?”

Two roughed up hands cover his, stopping them from shaking, and lips gently press against his cheek. “I’m fine. It was a mistake and we all make those. I know, I have made a lot of those,” Eren speaks in near whisper. “Can’t really change what happened today or any of the times before,” he continues and it’s a natural reaction for Levi to lean his head on Eren’s shoulder.

“I wish I had that power. That I could take it away from you and you wouldn’t have to be in danger anymore,” he speaks almost absentmindedly, his hands linked with Eren’s.

“That wouldn’t work out. I am not strong enough to save you when mistakes happen,” the younger speaks and runs his thumb over the spot where the hilt of the blades had left another scar on Levi’s hands today. “Humanity's hope needs humanity’s strongest soldier to protect it” Eren ads and looks at Levi who looks back at him. It’s a silent queue between them that makes their lips to meet - gently and just for a moment, but it was exactly what was needed.

“I’ll stay tonight,” Eren says, his eyes still loke with Levi’s. “We’ll say I came to thank you and fell asleep,” Levi wants to protest but a knock on the door stops him. He lets go of Eren’s hands and gets up to answer whoever was there. From the corner of his eyes he sees how Eren lies down, following through his falling asleep story.

With almost no surprises it’s Mikasa standing behind the door. “Is Eren here?” is the first thing she asks, not even waiting for a single word from Levi.

“Yes. That fool came to thank me and fell asleep,” Levi looks over his shoulder at Eren’s back facing the door. “I don’t think we can move him,” he adds and turns back to Mikasa who is also looking over Levi into the room. It takes a moment before she speaks.

“I know… about Eren… and you,” she says quietly, even Levi can barely hear her. “I am not going to say or do anything, but you need to know, captain, that if you fail to protect him, I will not hesitate to…”

“I will not fail,” Levi interrupts her. “I can assure you of that,” their eyes are locked in a staredown until Mikasa moves away.

“Goodnight then,” she turns away to leave, giving one more poisonous glance before walking away. The doors are closed behind her and locked to avoid any uninvited guests. With no surprise Eren has indeed fallen asleep and maybe it’s for the best he didn’t hear what Mikasa said.

Levi pulls a blanket over the sleeping boy and climbs in the bed next to him before blowing the candle out. He knows well enough he won’t sleep for few more hours, but something about the comforting darkness and Eren’s warmth wrapping around him makes Levi feel at ease, and, yes, at home. He places a kiss on Eren’s forehead and make a promise to himself - he will go all in, until his very last breath, to protect the only hope humanity, the only hope he has in the form of a slightly air headed boy.