02 – Comparison

(she always asked me to compare her to my past girlfriends; I comply without protests) 

“Tell me honestly; what’s the difference between me and her?” she spoke, fondly playing with the tips of his black locks. Somehow, his hair being twirled and pulled into different directions put him in a state of sleepiness.

“What do you mean?” he thought that she was starting to ask him about them again; but then he also thought that feigning innocence won’t mean harm.

He grimaced when she flicked his forehead.

“You know very well what and who I’m talking about, Kim Myungsoo.”

Formalities always seemed to be their friend when they both argue.

“Alright, but really, who’s it this time?”

His eyes were half open, staring at the face that always haunted his dreams. He faintly saw her pursed lips—a habit she always did every time she was thinking deeply of something. 

“Suzy,” she gulped. “Bae Suzy.”

Bae Suzy so far had the longest term of relationship with Myungsoo than any girl in the past; she was also the one who he had dated before her.

Jieun knew that talking about her kills Myungsoo on the inside but she couldn’t help but be curious.

“I’m starting to think that you’re a masochist, you know that?” he laughed, trying to lighten up their mood; but mostly his. Jieun, however, anticipated with a straight face, and she was willing to keep that on until the end of their conversation.

He heaved a sigh, “If I must.”

“Honestly, she wasn’t any different from you. Although your personalities aren’t exactly the same, both of you shared the same passion for music. She’s really bothersome, though. She always complained about the most trivial things. Back then people say that we were the perfect match; our cold demeanour but warm personality—sometimes I wonder how we got along. Didn’t they say, ‘opposites attract’? But with us, that wasn’t the case.”

He ended his mini flashback with a longing smile. Myungsoo gave Jieun a response that she hadn’t expected.

Peering to see her reaction, his once closed eyes opened halfway once again. He could make out the straight face she kept; but her eyes gave her away. It faltered, and there was a cross of hurt that he managed to catch. He sat up straight and faced her. He was about to comfort her when she spoke.

“Why did you break up with her, though? From the looks of it, you were in a steady relationship with her—I could tell that you were very happy and contented.”

He didn’t want to answer, but she looked like she was pleading.

“I was in the way of her dreams, and I didn’t want her to quit because of me.”

There was a moment of silence; a thick tension hanging in the air.

“You’re really stupid, you know that?” Myungsoo chuckled and engulfed her into a hug, encircling her between his pair of strong arms. That’s when she finally broke down and cried, soaking his plaid. He didn’t mind, though, since he had plenty of the same style.

“Don’t worry,” she hiccupped, “That’ll be the last one.”

Hearty laughs filled their entire apartment.