"Hi there! I'm Tiffany Hwang! As you may know, I'm the closest to Jessi- I mean, Jessica in school! And that could be easily you!!

Tiffany shuffles her way closer towards the video recorder and inched closer towards the lens, looking around for any eavesdroppers before looking back into the camera.

"Lots of boys have approached me and asked me about where and how to meet Jessica!" She paused as she scanned through her surroundings one more time before adding, "Not to mention girls as well,"

"AND THAT'S WHY I AM MAKING THIS SPECIAL DVD!"

"HEY GIRL! KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN! WE'RE TRYING TO STUDY HERE!"

"I'm sorry!" She turned to her right and bows 90 degrees before turning back, "I'll have to keep my voice low but I hope that you'll still be able to hear me! Don't worry! I think I might add subtitles for this! "

"Anyway, BACK TO THE VIDEO! Before you can meet Jessica Jung, you have to know how Jessica looks like! I know it sounds nonsensical but I've heard stories about people approaching Yoona and calling her Jessica! So here are some photos of Jessica!"

"As you can see here, this is a sleeping Jessica! Isn't she just so cute when she sleeps? " Tiffany crinkles her eyes as she looked at the photo lovingly. It was when a sudden distinct memory struck her that she jerks up and had a very serious expression on.

"Warning! Jessica may seem cute and harmless when she is sleeping, BUT NEVER EVER WAKE HER UP! It's like how a lioness would attack the predator of her cubs, Jessica kills when she gets disturbed from her sleep! I remember the time when I accidentally woke her up as I touched her cheeks," Tiffany shudders at that horrifying incident.

"What she did to me after that, I swore I'll never wake her up again. Nowadays I don't even dare to walk up to her when she is having her nap. If you're desperate enough, you can creep up to her, USING YOUR CREEPERS! HAHAHAHHAHAHA GET IT? GET IT?" The brunette wiped the tears under her smiling eyes as she tried to control her laughter.

"Okay, I know I'm funny. Anyway, moving on. This is Jessi when she is walking towards the locker. I know what you guys are thinking, why on earth does she have a picture of her walking to the locker? But it is not my fault if I think that she looks cool like that! So I decided to just snap a candid shot. Doesn't she just have that cool vibe around her?"

Tiffany reached from behind the stack of photos to pull out one that had Jessica crying in it. She peeked at the picture before exclaiming in delight.

"Ohh ohh, this is my favourite!" She smiled brightly at the camera before placing the crying shot in front of the stack.

"This is a picture of Jessica when she is watching a romance movie. She might looks cold and arrogant on the outside, but she can be such a softie at times! She normally cries at the part when the couple breaks or when the male lead comes back to propose to the brokenhearted female actress. She might pretend to hate the scene, but boy, you should see how she sniffs her nose and clenches her fist to stop her tears from flowing! HAHAHAHAHA IT'S FUNNY YOU KNOW!"

Tiffany held her hand at her stomach before bending over, laughing aloud.

"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH THE SCENE IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! HELP ME SOMEONE! HAHAHAHAHHAAHA!"

"HEY, CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP?! YOU'RE EXTREMELY NOISY YOU KNOW!"

Tiffany dried her invisible tears as she apologised profusely to the infuriated student.

"Sorry sorry! I didn't mean to laugh for such a long time. Now on to the next section! Since you probably have already recognize Jessica's different faces, I'll be moving on to When To Meet Jessica!"

"Believe it or not, there is a certain period to meet her! And that period is........ BREAKTIME! To be a little more specific, it's the first break that you should meet her. Another warning!  DO NOT MEET HER ON THE THIRD BREAK. Some girl had actually ran up to be in fright and asked me for help. I asked her what happened and she said she had visited Jessica. So I looked at my watch and I literally screamed at her! I was like, "YOU DISTURBED JESSICA AT THIS TIMING?! THERE IS A REASON WHY I'M WALKING AROUND THIS CAMPUS ALONE RIGHT NOW YOU KNOW! " The next thing I knew, the poor girl was in tears and was crying for forgiveness. I can't blame her though, she didn't know that Jessica is especially a light sleeper during that period," Tiffany moves her pupils to the top right corner of her eyes, deep in thought.

"I wonder what happened to her after that.. I don't seem to see her around school anymore,"

"Anyway, this leads us to the next important point, which is.. HUH?" Tiffany looks down at the cardboard that she is holding onto and grins sheepishly as she inverts the card.

"Sorry for the upside-down sign! Where do you go to meet Jessica in the first break? There are lots of places but the best one would be the track. Something to note though, don't bother bringing along your running wear because Jessica would definitely not be running! You know how one side of the benches are in the shade? She mentioned that she loves that area the most and of course, being the curious me, I asked her why. And she said she liked watching the sky from that particular corner,"

"Another place would be in the library! If you happen to give the track a visit and did not see her there, the next place she would probably be at is the library. Jessica hates the heat. She would visit the library everyday to read her favourite novel in the cooling wind. Sometimes she would just sit there and stone just for the air-conditioner!"

"Okay, now that you know where to find Jessica, the next step is to talk to her! Remember, when it comes to talking to human beings, you have two choices: one is to wait for them to say something to you and your other choice is to speak first. But when it comes to Jessica, you only have one choice, which is to speak first. Because technically, she doesn't even utter a single word. Unless you just want to sit in silence together with her, I strongly suggest you initiate a conversation. But please note, do expect to have single worded answers from her. As you know, she is known as the ice princess and it's her nickname for a reason. So please be a little understanding! She doesn't hate you, she is just... shy?" Tiffany scratches her head at the thought of her lame reasoning.

"Err.. I guess not. Maybe she is just weird. Anyway, my point is that if you follow some simple rules and these steps, I guess you'll be her friend.. But I'm warning you, it might take a long time for her to open up! So if you want to start, you should start this very moment! Otherwise she would have graduated by then! "

Tiffany bends down and picks up another cardboard. This time, it had two lines of handwritten words.

Rule 1: Do not talk about cucumbers or anything related to it.

"Jessica HATES cucumbers. And I'm totally not kidding. You HAVE to heed this advice. One word of cucumber and all your hard work vanishes into thin air. She not ever speak to you again and you can forget about being her friend,"

Rule 2: Try to talk about things she likes.

"Okay, this is a given. But now the problem is, what does she like?"

Tiffany taps her chin twice, recalling all the conversations she has had with Jessica.

 "Ohh I know! SHE LOVES TO TALK ABOUT BEDS. She has a certain brand that she likes... what is it called? A-arc bed? No, it doesn't sound right. A-aie bed? ACE BED! YEAH SHE LOVES ACE BED! So you should talk about ace bed! Especially with her favourite girl group advertising it! 소녀시대, have you heard of them? To be frank, they make me jealous. Especially that girl Tiffany! SHE EVEN HAS THE SAME NAME AS ME! HOW DARE SHE! But of course I can't say that in front of Jessica since she loves Tiffany the most. Why can't she love this Tiffany instead..?"

"Back to the tutorial! The point I'm trying to make is that the topic of the conversation is extremely important. So just watch this guide and follow every single step! Avoid doing what I warned you not to do and it should be fine! I know some of you might have doubts about this. But-"

"Fany, are you there?"

Tiffany abruptly stops and looks over to the door before shouting back enthusiastically, "I'm here!" She then turns back to face the camera and smiles brightly.

"-trust me, it works!"

"Fany, are you coming or are you not? Hurry up!"

"Uhh, I've got to go now, Jessica is getting impatient!" Tiffany hurriedly makes her way towards the screen to end the recording but suddenly retracts her hand. Her face expressed that she still had something to say.

"Ohh and to those of you who plan to use this video as a guide, please don't get to close to Jessica!" She gave a serious frown before opening to continue," Otherwise I, as her soon-to-be girlfriend, would get very jealous! And you wouldn't want to have Jessi doing a How To Please Tiffany When She Is Angry tutorial, would you?"

Tiffany smiles at her thought-to-be witty comment before realising a flaw in her statement.

"Wait a minute, why wouldn't you guys not want Jessica to do that video? Since you people like her so much, you would definitely want to see he-"

"Tiffany Hwang, I'm counting to three and you better be out by then!"

"ARGH, WHATEVER, JUST DON'T GET TO CLOSE TO HER OR ELSE I'LL GET ANGRY!"

She leans forward to press a button as the screen last shown her hurried run out of the room, towards everyone's favourite: Jessica Jung.

[3 Months Later]

"Hello, this is Jessica. You probably know me after the huge fuss about me being in a relationship," Jessica sighs as she rubs her head.

"Anyway, the reason behind making this video is to teach you guys how to please Tiffany when she is angry. Ever since more and more people approached me, she has been getting really angst-y. She finally blew her top when she found out that I was messaging this girl, Yuri, often. But what's the big deal, I mean, Yuri is just a good friend of mine! It's not as if I'm cheating on her or something. But whatever, I'm just going to teach you guys how to tame the jealous girlfriend of mine,"