It’s been two years since the last time I heard from him. I mean, it’s been two years since he left me alone for somebody else.

I can still remember the words he told me before he walked away. Before things came to an end,

“I can’t love you the same, I’m sorry.”

With that, my world crashes. It made me realized that not all you wanted so much can stay with you forever.

That there are certain things in life that makes you the happiest and at the same time the saddest person.

I was getting along with life just fine. I couldn’t say I’ve moved on. But I’m fine. Getting used to a life without him around. At first, it was hard. We’ve been together for long. Five years to be exact. It’s hard to go on with life when you’re used to be with someone you wake up to and sleep with.

I have to cry myself to sleep for five months after the break up, I used to force myself to stand up and go on with life. Again, though hard to admit, I have to accept the fact that the world won’t stop turning even if I grieve so much. Life must go and move on. So I am.

Been away from everyone that connects me to him, been living all alone with just some vague and sad memories of us.

I was doing along just fine, getting through each passing day without even thinking of him when I received a call from an unknown number. It seemed overseas. It was so strange. But the moment the person on the other line answered me, I realized who it was.

It was him. The one who left me. The one I love and the one who used to love me.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Taemin.”

He said. I gulped. I paused for a minute and just listened to his breathing then he said sounding cautious.

“Sorry if it took me two years to call you but there’s something you should know.”

He paused, deeply sighed and solemnly said;

“I’m so stupid to let you go. I don’t really wanna let you go, no I really can’t let you go. I think I am losing my mind, Taemin.”

“Minho---”

I was stopped when he said;

“Hear me out Taemin.”

“Go on.”

I said stopping what I am doing. I heard his hoarse voice again telling me words I long to hear months after we broke up. The words that makes my heart beat fast.

“I have something to confess, I still love you Taemin. I still need you. I know I’ve hurted you too much but I feel like telling this to you. I guess you have to know. I still want you.”

He stopped. My heart leap. I pinched myself to check if I am hearing everything clearly or I am dreaming. But the pinch to myself stings. It was reality. There was a dead air. May be we are waiting for each other to break the silence. So I did.

“My feelings too never went away, Minho. I still love you too.”

I told him how my heart felt. The way I told him I love him is the same way I often told him before. I hate to lie to myself that’s why I told him what I really felt.

But I have to stop myself. Though I still love him, the love we had before should not be continued.

“I’ve waited too long for you to realize things, Minho.”

I said. I bit my lips for me not to cry out loud and said;

“I gotta let you go. I have to hang up the phone.  This conversation can’t go on no more. I gotta let you go coz if I don’t, I might run back to you again.”

“Then do.”

He said. I shook my head and told him I can’t.

“Why? Why can’t you?”

He asked. I know, he was crying. I can hear it from the way his voice registered on the earpiece.  I deeply sighed and seriously told him;

“I am doing just fine on my own Minho. I am slowly coping up with the hurt our break up caused me. It’s been two years since we’ve gone our separate ways. You finding me and getting the courage to talk to me and tell me you love me means we can get back together. You too should face the fact that we’re over and done.”

Saying those words hurt my heart. Minho hummed and just said;

“Sorry for disturbing you. I love you Taemin. And I understand you. I promise, I will never call you again.”

                I felt bad the moment the line got disconnected. Yes, my heart still yearns for Minho but I can’t continue what we have. I gotta go my own way and move on. I have to find my happiness without him. There some things that is better without the one you love the most who’ve hurted you so much.

                I always believe we are meant for each other, but I also have to accept the fact that we can’t be together the way we wanted. Just like what he told me, everything changes over time. My will to be with me changed over time.

                I still love him but I just can’t be with him. 3

04042017—12:39

◙◙       

This idea popped up while revising the next chapter of my other story..

Whatcha think?

If you have time, check the song that leads me to this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL1PRK18m_w

some of the lyrics was part of the story!

Thank you♥

~jhay