Hi. You're busy?

 

No. Why?

 

Just... I wanna talk about something.

Or someone, to be exact.

 

What?

 

I miss her.

 

Her who?

 

Her.

 

Oh.

Her.

 

Yeah.

Her.

 

What do you want to talk about? I know you didn't just text me because you miss her.

 

You know me well. :)

 

Well, I'm not your girlfriend for nothing.

Ex-girlfriend now though haha

 

Yeah.

 

So?

What about her?

 

I miss her.

Like, really miss her.

 

Then, tell her. Not me.

 

I want to. But I don't know if I can.

 

What do you mean?

 

She got hurt a lot because of me. I want to apologize even if I didn't want to hurt her. She's the last person I want to hurt.

That girl is really clever in hiding her feelings. She's acting all tough but inside, I know I broke her. I really hate imagining her cry in her sleep.

 

I was part of it too you know.

We dated even when we both know she loves you too.

Not to mention we always told her about our times. Good and bad.

 

. I hate that. I felt bad.

 

How do you think I feel? She's my best friend. It hurts me too when I knew she cried a lot because of us.

 

She comforted me when you and I fought. Scolded me when she knew it was my fault. Felt happy for me when I told her I'm happy with you.

I never had a thought if she's really happy that time.

I'm so stupid.

 

Yeah...

She did that for me too...

 

She's always there for me, you know. Even when she's busy. She'll be there whenever I need her. She'll drop everything for me.

But she didn't even tell me any of her problems.

Remember when she had really high fever, she went to the clinic BY A ING BUS ALONE?

Oh, and why?

She asked me if I'm busy. And I said I have stuff to do WHEN IRL IM NOT EVEN BUSY.

And what did I say when she said she's not feeling well?

"Oh. Get well soon. Take a rest. I'll leave you alone."

IM A ING MONSTER.

And that's before you and I got together.

She didn't even texted me after we got together. Not until I started it first. She didn't even tell me when she sprained her ankle that time. Remember? She said she didn't want to bother our date. I scolded her.

I always hate it when she said she didn't want to be a burden. She should know she is no burden for me. I'll do anything for her. I'll drop other things for her too.

And that apologizing habit of her. You know, she always thought she said or did something wrong and she will say sorry to me.

Even after we made a deal that if she says sorry, we won't talk for a day.

At first I suggest two weeks and a week.

She sent me like a billion crying emoji.

That's adorable don't you think so?

Oh. She sent "forever". And then I said "okay". I was about to send "okay. A day." when she sent me another billion sad emoji.

That is so adorable. She really thought I didn't want to talk to her forever. She is so adorable.

Heck, it saddened me for suggesting it. I don't even want to imagine if we have to do it.

You know, she always helps me with my music. We have our Old McDonald Had A Farm. Because we like McDonalds. It sounds silly but I really enjoy that. I love music and making it with her made me enjoy it more. I really miss that.

And our midnight conversation too. I'll get very sleepy in the morning but it was worth it. With her, everything is worth it.

We just talked about nothing yanno. Post questions to each other, sharing silly pictures.

Just...stupid things.

God, I miss her.

 

Chanyeol almost lost his grip on his phone when the gadget vibrated suddenly. 'Yeonhee' appeared on the screen. Even though she would not see it, he still wiped away the tears flowing down his cheeks. He then swiped the green phone and placed the phone on his ear.

 

"Yeah?"

"You're crying."

"Yeah." Chanyeol let out a hollow chuckle. "And I think it's not planning to stop."

"Chanyeol, you're crying."

"Yeah. Because of her." He sobbed. "I really miss her, Yeonhee. , I feel like ."

"Where are you now?"

"Jeju. I have filming."

"Oh. I didn't... Are you filming now? We'll talk-"

"Nah it's okay. I'm in my room now. Filming finished an hour ago."

"She knows?"

"Yeah. Talked to her on my way to hotel just now."

"And you still miss her?"

"Yeah. So damn ing much. We just talked for 15 minutes. She sounded too tired. I want to talk to her so bad. Telling her about my NGs, whining to her and listen to her nagging at me because dammit I miss to hear her nag. But I don't want to tire her. She might get sick if she stays up to talk to me."

"Why?"

"She said she just finished her work. And she stayed up for more than 36 hours already. She sounded too tired. I really want to fly home now, go to her apartment and hug her until she's okay."

"Chanyeol."

"Yeah?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that you like her more than a friend?"

"...What?"

"I never hear you talk about someone like this."

"Sehun and Jongdae never stop talking about her, yanno."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I want to pull her to me. And never let go. I want her to pay attention to me. And only me. I don't mind if she wants to talk to them. As long as she'll pay attention to me."

"Chanyeol, what do you expect from me? From this conversation?"

"I don't know. I just wanna tell you. I felt like you're the right person for me to tell about this. I don't know who else to turn to."

 

He heard Yeonhee sighed from the other side.

 

"What's with the sigh?"

"Chanyeol?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want me to be honest with you?"

"About what?"

"About the reason I agreed to break up with you."

"What do you mean?"

 

She sighed again before taking a deep breath; to reveal the truth.

 

"You see, you're not in love with me anymore. Even before we broke up."

"I don't understand."

"It's not like before. When you tried to court me."

"....I still don't understand." Chanyeol frustratingly messed up his hair. "Yeonhee, can't you just be straight forward with me about this? You know I'm kinda stupid and -"

"You're in love with her, Chanyeol. Even before we broke up."

"....What?"

"The only thing we talked about most of the time before we broke up was about her. What did you do with her, what funny stuff she told you, how she was so adorable when she nagged at you. All things about her, how much you missed her when you guys didn't talked. Everything, Chanyeol. Everything."

 

Chanyeol was stunned.

 

"You didn't realized that, don't you?"

"I don't..."

"Of course you don't. You're holding to the idea of being in love with me because that's what you thought you're doing. Because you said you're in love with me and you don't want to let me go."

 

Chanyeol kept on listening, trying to digest what Yeonhee said.

 

"You stayed with me because you thought you're still in love with me. You wanted me."

"I do want you that time."

"You want me, but you need her. That's different."

"What do you mean?"

"You waited for me for too long, Chanyeol. Four years. That's how long you waited for me. Our relationship lasted not even a year. She came into our lives a few months before you confessed to me. She became my best friend before she became yours. You knew me longer than you knew her."

 

Chanyeol was trying to digest. He was trying really hard.

 

"But who do you talk to at the end of the day? Who do you whine to every time you have problems? Who do you always seek comfort from? Who do you seek for?"

"...Her."

"That's right. All this time, it's her you need. Yes, you said I'm your muse. Yes, you said I made you happy. Yes, you said I complete you. But who made you hold yourself together? Who hold you when you're down? Who made you laugh when you want to cry?"

"Her."

"That's right. She is your everything, Chanyeol. Open your heart and look. Stop holding yourself into the past. She's right there for you. You just need to reach out, hold her and never let go."

 

The tears flowing out harder than ever. Chanyeol gripped his phone tight.

 

***

 

A slick Mercedes entered the basement parking, taking a slot beside a shiny gray Range Rover Evoque. The driver stayed inside the car even after he turned off the engine, contemplating his decision.

 

'Now or never, Chanyeol. You almost lose her a lot of time before. Never let her go this time.'

 

" it."

 

Chanyeol lightly slammed the steering before getting out of his car. He took the duffel bag from the backseat and went to the elevator. He pushed the "12" button and prayed everything will be okay.

 

He looked at the door in front of him. He know she's home. He took a deep breath before pressing the bell. The door slowly opened and a very tired looking young woman appeared behind the door. She smiled when she saw Chanyeol and opening the door wide before motioning him to enter her humble home. He never took his eyes of hers when he came in. He closed the door and put his bag near the shoe rack. She looked at his action confusedly but still smiled.

 

'She's so beautiful. Dammit, I got it bad.'

 

Chanyeol stepped closer into her personal space. Looking at her curious eyes, he smiled at the adorable face. Once he was closed enough to her, he looked deeply into her beautiful brown eyes.

 

'My brown-eyed girl.' He cooed internally. 'Mine.'

 

"Chanyeol?"

 

Said guy immediately rested his right thumb on her lips, not allowing her to say whatever she wanted to say. She was about to open again but he stopped her by pressing his thumb harder and playfully glared at her. With that action, he gained a pout from her.

 

'No. No, don't pout, baby, no.'

 

Chanyeol really fought the urge to pinch that pout between his thumb and index finger. He snapped out of the thought and began to caress her chubby cheeks. She began to feel curious more but she felt relaxed under his touch. She unconsciously closed her eyes.

 

'My heart can't really handle her cuteness.'

 

Chanyeol's heart began to palpitate faster than ever. Faster than during his first kiss with Yeonhee. He felt tears forming in his eyes. He was so happy. Finally he has this girl in his arms.

 

His girl.

 

His.

 

And his only.

 

She opened her eyes when she stopped feeling the caressing. She was shocked when she saw Chanyeol looking at her fondly with teary eyes. She cupped his face with one hand, her eyes asking him, 'what's wrong?'. A pang of guilt hit Chanyeol when he saw her getting teared up too. He quickly held her cupping hand softly before shaking his head, his eyes telling her, 'nothing's wrong, please don't cry'. He gently removed her hand from his cheek before cupping her face with his large hands.

 

"Listen to me first okay?" Chanyeol croaked.

 

She nodded.

 

'This is it.'

 

Chanyeol slowly leaned in closer to her face. Closing his eyes, he gently slotted his lips into her own. With more gentle and care, he started his kiss with love and passion. Delivering all his feelings towards the girl, all the love he has for her, through the slow kiss. He can feel his tears coming down once he felt the kiss was returned. He smiled into the kiss, feeling happy to get his kiss back. He wanted to deepen the kiss but rush was not what he wanted. They pulled back at the same time, panting to get some air into their lungs. They opened their eyes and let out low chuckles seeing they mirrored each other ugly crying faces. Chanyeol gently wiped away her tears while she doing the same thing with his. When they were done, they just stared deeply into each other's eyes, drowning into the beautiful orbs.

 

"I love you."

 

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, causing Chanyeol to pull her closer to him. He wants to protect her, to love her, to stay with her, to be with her.

 

Forever.

 

"I'm sorry it took me a break up, a fight and more than a year to realize it."

 

A kiss on the forehead.

 

"I'm sorry I made you wait."

 

A kiss on the teary eyes.

 

"But are you still waiting though?"

 

A kiss on the jaw line.

 

"Baby, are you still waiting for me?"

 

He looked back into her eyes. He felt nervous. What if after all these times, she moved on? What if she already has a lover but she did not tell him?

 

All the 'what if...' shattered when he felt a peck on his lips. He turned his focus back to his love. She looked at him fondly, still in tears.

 

"I wouldn't kiss you back if I'm not waiting for you, right?"

 

Immediately, he scooped her into his arms by the waist and kissed her deeply. Without realizing it, they both burst into another happy tears as they were too deep into their kiss.

 

***

 

Author's Rant:

I'm sorry for this I just... Bye.